And so we come at last to the end of the idiocy. I'd like now to thank all reviewing persons and some guy called MatrixMad who reviewed this on Agentshadow.hyperboards. Um, I can't actually remember what he website is. Shit. Anyway, thanks to you all.

Anyways, replies are at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 10: ARGH! WHERE ARE MY LIMBS!?

Contrary to what many believe, Smith wasn't destroyed after his fancy fight scene in Revolutions. When he tried to turn Neo into a copy, Neo altered Smith's coding so as to restore the duplicates to normal, as you saw, and to turn the original Smith into a scarecrow. At the time it seemed like a good idea.

The field in which he was placed was owned by a somewhat eccentric farmer known as Darrel C. Cummings. He was a little surprised to find a scarecrow lying face down in his field, wearing an expensive suit and calling him a virus.

Cummings soon decided that Smith's presence was the result of cost cutting within the military. He decided to make use of the Smith-crow to scare off the many rooks that plagued him.

And so the unfortunate former agent was condemned to three months of having a large metal pole up his arse, as well as having to endure arse bombings from many a winged beast. His menacing face did scare off many a rook however, which gave him a surprising sense of satisfaction.

To amuse himself, Smith would occasionally use what dwindling 'opposite of the one' powers he had left to cause small fires. When Cummings discovered that it was Smith who kept setting fire to his breakfast of acorns and cardboard, he took him to the local library and threw him through an open window.

This was a lucky occurrence for Smith (sort of), as one of the Librarians, (who was inspired by that episode of The Prisoner with the brain swappings and, you don't know what I'm talking about do you? Oh well.)

Anyway, thanks to a series of carefully arranged, scientific devices, the librarian, who had in fact always wanted to be a scarecrow, switched bodies with Smith.

Smith wasn't overly pleased with the exchange seeing as the Librarian in question didn't give him a choice in the matter, given the choice between being a scarecrow and being a human shaped biped, (otherwise known as a human), he would have chosen to be a scarecrow.

After the brain switching procedure was completed, Smith decided to vent some anger by killing the Librarian/Scarecrow with a desert eagle which he found hidden in a curiously placed chandelier in back room. It soon occurred to him however that he now had no hope of returning to the scarecrow corpse that he had left.

After a few seconds of searching for an adequately suave pair of sunglasses, Smith got bored and charged out of the door.

Smith spent the rest of the day stealing cars so as to seek out the Architect, (whom he had shot just one week before), and beg for his old shell back. Unfortunately for him however, he kept running over tire traps fashioned from sharp pieces of wood and sunglasses, and being attacked by 'Mustela nivalises', which unless I've been lied to is the Latin name for weasels.

Eventually Smith gave up and decided to take the train. During the journey, he was unfortunate enough to be seated next to some pestiferous man with bladder problems. The resulting urine seeped effortlessly through the surprisingly porous trousers that had once belonged to the Librarian before her untimely scarecrow related death.

Smith was not amused.

The man with the weak bladder was thrown out of the train as it was moving at 87 mph. He landed in a pool full of bizarre, multi coloured fish who stole his limbs via the use of large pointy teeth. Contrary to what the title says however, he didn't say 'ARGH! WHERE ARE MY LIMBS!? As the fall killed him.

When Smith finally reached the lair of the Architect, he found the elderly program playing chess over the internet with some guy called Sven, who earlier that day had ridiculed his monotonous lifestyle. The Architect set the pitchfork on him, the pitchfork told him he was busy, and the Architect shrugged and got on with his life.

His chin had still not recovered from Smith's shooting at it. (I realise now that I've just screwed up the chronological order of the whole story, oh well, who cares?) Anyway, the Architect's chin had not healed, and the bandage he had been given looked ridiculous to say the least, upon seeing Smith, he raised his arm in a daunting fashion, and altered Smith's coding so as to turn him into a reasonably harmless skin disease. After coming to terms with the fact that he no longer had any limbs, Smith went off and infected the people of, um, Boston. No offence intended to anyone from Boston, it was just the first thing that came to mind.

The End.

Right, now for replies.

Angel-of-lightness: I know I said I'd do eleven but if I keep going on with these I'll wind up quoting from them, which will lead o me getting run over when someone rolls their eyes once too often and pushes me into the road. (I see now, *bows head in shame*) Thanks for reviewing.

Tai Wilson: I think ten is a good number to end with for a parody, even if it isn't I'm still going to end here. Thanks for your reviewing ways. I would write more but I can't think of anything.

thereisnobrain: I notice that one of your stories has vanished, is this Agent Brown's doing? In any case, thanks for reviewing. Laziness is unspeakably healthy. Thanks for reviewing.

Dragonsquiirt: Oh, well thank you for recommending this work of foolery to others, I hope that you have enjoyed this work of oddness to the point where you felt inspired to randomly throw things in rivers. If not, thanks anyway.

Aeyvi Allen Poe: Should I write one review or nine? I think I'll stick with one seeing as I am a lazy cretin. I'm glad you liked what you liked in here, I wasn't too pleased with chapter nine either but what's done is done. Thanks for reviewing this and the other one.

Don't tread on me: Demented is I. I is demented. I shall have to find out who Andy Kaufman is, saying that I'll probably forget. Oh well, thanks for reviewing.

I think that's everyone.

Goodnight all.