Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Me: Okay, all together now. Legolas and Haldir: We have been very, very naughty. We are very, very sorry. We will NEVER EVER write bad things about the author again. Me: Very good, boys. Haldir: May we have our pants back now? Me: Umno. Legolas: That's not fair! You told us if we apologized nicely, that you'd give us back our breeches. Me: What have I EVER done that would make you believe me?

Chapter 14

On the Road Again

For the trip back to Lothlorien, Aragorn had gifted the Fellowship with transportation. Legolas, Haldir, and Caladria had been given fine steeds - the best in the city - to carry them the long miles. Sam, being too tiny for the long-legged horses, was given a small, gentle pony to ride. Sam immediately named his pony Bill the second, and loaded Bill down with all of his bundles and packages.

Aragorn didn't really like Gimli, however. He never really forgave him for usurping Aragorn's place as Legolas' best friend - Aragorn was kind of catty that way.

Gimli was given an ass.

The Fellowship Now Grown To Five set out at daybreak for the Great Western Road that would take them close to Lothlorien and the Golden Wood. The three on horses led the way, followed by the Hobbit on his pony. Gimli, still grunting, growling, and cursing up a storm about the indignity of it all, brought up the rear on his ass.

Haldir rode in silence for most of the morning, his mind troubled. He was having second thoughts about trying to deceive the Lady of the Wood. After all, she was his Queen. Plus, he had always had a slight crush on herthough he would cut out his own tongue before admitting it to any one. Caladria was right on so many points, though. He wondered how many other hapless Elves Galadrial had sent on fool's errands just to make herself look good. His inner argument raged on for hours.

Seeing Haldir deep in thought, with worry lines etched across his forehead, Caladria thought it best not to disturb him and sought conversation with Legolas instead.

"After our business is done in Lothlorien, you should consider coming to visit Mirkwood, Lady Caladria. I know my father would be most interested in the messages of the Great Ring," Legolas said cordially.

"Perhaps, I mayalthough I am not sure how long I may be needed in Lothlorien" Caladria answered. "I thank you for the invitation, though."

"Mirkwood is a pretty enough place, if you don't mind the spiders," chimed Sam, from just behind them. "But I must say that if you really want to visit somewhere beautiful, then The Shire is that which you seek."

"Aye, The Shire is pleasant, but Mirkwood offers much more than spiders, Samthe Summer Solstice and the Hunter's Moon Festivals are coming up," Legolas gently argued, with a slightly self-satisfied air.

"What be ye talking about up there? I can't hear a blessed thing above this damnable creature's braying!" Gimli shouted from the rear, trying to get his stubborn beast to move a little faster.

"Spiders," Sam, turning around in his seat, called back to Gimli.

"Ciders?" Gimli called back to Sam.

'SPIDERS!" Sam called back again,

"WHERE?" Gimli cried, grabbing his axe and looking around frantically. Gimli hated spiders.

Sam rolled his eyes, and turned back around.

The Fellowship stopped for lunch just within the Rohan borders. Sam immediately built a small fire, and was soon roasting ears of corn, turnips, and mushrooms on sticks over the licking flames. He had nearly cried when he had emptied his bundles, before setting out, of anything that had once breathed. He had had a nightmare the night before about Bill the Pony telling him that the steak Sam was eating was indeed, Bill's left thigh.

Shortly after they had eaten, The Fellowship started out again, for Haldir was uneasy stopping that close to Mordor. It was not unheard of for stray Orcs to attack travelers, even now, after the War. He and Legolas had kept their bows and quivers close at hand all through lunch.

Gimli was kicking his mount's sides, trying to get the stubborn beast to move.

"Gimli! Come on! Move your ass!" Haldir shouted from the head of the party.

"Easy for him to say" Gimli muttered, trying to hurry the beastie along.

However, they passed deeper into Rohan without such incident, for which Caladria was imminently grateful. She had read of the horrors that had come from Mordor, and had no wish to see one face to face.

Traveling the open plains was easy enough, but as the sun began to set, The Fellowship found themselves riding through a thick stand of pine. Haldir called a halt for the night, before it became too dark. They made camp beneath a giant, old evergreen, its massive limbs providing an awning over their heads. Having eaten dinner, they had just begun preparing themselves for sleep, when a loud snuffling, growling sound came from the nearby brush.

A huge wild warg burst through the brush, heading straight for the travelers. Instantly, Haldir and Legolas whipped out their bows, and simultaneously shot arrows into the beast, felling it in its tracks.

Caladria approached the carcass, having read about, but never seen, a warg before. "It's seems to be a cross between a wolf and a boarhow interesting! I suppose this could be the ancestor to the wolves and swine of my own time," she said to Haldir. Haldir was more interested in making sure the beast was dead, than in its evolutionary history.

A small, whining sound reached their ears, coming from the same brush that the warg had burst through. Caladria turned and, slowly peeling back the branches of the nearest bush, peered into the darkness behind it. "Ohno wonder this warg attacked us!" she cried, reaching into the brush. She pulled out a small furry shape, which mewed piteously. "She was protecting her pup!"

"WHAT is THAT?" Haldir exclaimed, wrinkling his nose. "Put it down so I can kill it." He had an arrow ready in his bow.

"You'll do no such thing, March Warden! This is only a babyit still has its milk teeth! It cannot harm you or anyone else," Caladria said, cradling the baby warg to her chest, and turning slightly away, protecting it.

"It will only die without its mother," Legolas said softly, "better to put it down nowI will make it go painlessly." He, too, fit an arrow in his bow.

"It will NOT die, because I will care for it. Haldiryou know I can. I will not allow you to shoot this baby, and I will not leave it here to die." Caladria's features formed a stubborn mask. She would not give in.

"You can't carry that thing into Lothlorien," Haldir argued.

"Then I will not go into Lothlorien," she answered, adamantly.

"You've lost your mind, woman!" Haldir retorted, irritated at her tenacity. "No one keeps a pet warg!"

"Then this is a first, Haldir. If you want me to go with you to Lothlorien, then the warg comes with me."

"Fine! But when that thing bites your hand off, do not come to me for healing!" Haldir shouted.

"I wouldn't come to you for anything if you were the last Elf in Arda!" Caladria shouted back, causing the little furry bundle to whimper. She immediately went about soothing the tiny creature. She used her cloak to fashion a carrier, and placed the baby in it. Making her way to the far side of the camp, she gave Haldir a fierce look on the way.

Haldir settled in on the opposite of the camp, still outraged at the woman's behavior. Again, he began to question the wisdom of bringing her to Lothlorienespecially now that she insisted on a warg for company.

Gimli sat on the ground near the fire, next to Legolas. He was chuckling softly under his breath.

"What do you find so funny, mellon nin?" Legolas asked him, cocking an eyebrow at the Dwarf.

"They like each other," Gimli replied, still smiling under his beard.

"It seems more like they like the idea of killing one another, to me," Legolas replied.

"Ye wait and see, Laddieye wait and see if I'm not right" Gimli yawned, at last stretching out alongside the fire to sleep.