Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Legolas: Little girls? Why did you surround me with little girls? Shouldn't I be surrounded by beautiful women?" Me: Have you looked at your fan base, lately, Lego? Half of your fans still have their baby teeth. Legolas: What about the other half? Haldir: They've got dentures.Me: Watch it, Haldiryou're going to piss off an entire demographic. Haldir: Why are you spending so much time talking to Legolas, anyway? The name of this story is "HALDIR and the Fantabulous Whatzit." Do you see "Legolas" anywhere in that title?" Legolas: So, that's why you're being nasty to my fansyou're jealous! Haldir: Of what? Legolas: Of me! Haldir: I doubt it. I told you before, I've seen you in the locker room buddy.

Chapter 18

An Elf's Gotta Do What An Elf's Gotta Do

Caladria reluctantly followed Haldir outside. "This is it," she thought nervously, her hands clenched in front of her. "This is when he tells me to get out of Dodge. This is when he tells me that none of this would have happened if I had blown up with the rest of my city. Celeborn probably told him to give me my marching orders last night."

Never turning around to look at her, Haldir led Caladria silently down the spiraling staircase to the forest floor. He led her deep into the mallorns, until they were sufficiently secluded that he need not fear being overhead by any of the other Elves. Stopping, he sighed, and took a couple of deep breaths before turning to face Caladria.

Seeing her pale face and slumped shoulders, as she stared at the ground, biting her lower lip, he wondered if maybe he had laid it on a bit too thick. He was worried that she might still be angry with him after last night, even though he had apologized that morning. With what he needed to tell her now, he had wanted to make her a little nervous to put her off guard, but he hadn't wanted to scare the daylights out of her, or upset her this much.

"Caladria," he said softly. When she turned her head away, and didn't look up, he gently lifted her chin with his finger to face him. "Caladria"

There were tears in her eyes. Haldir felt something in his chest crack, and, rather than say another word and risk breaking down himself, he simply gathered her in his arms, holding her close.

She stiffened a moment, then clung to him, unable to stop the tears from flowing.

:"Why are you crying? There's nothing to cry about, Little Oneall is well, now," Haldir whispered, stroking her hair, trying to calm her.

"Aren't you going to send me away?" Caladria asked in a small voice. "Send me back to Minas Tirith? Or did Celeborn tell you something worse? What punishment did he decree?"

"What are you talking about? Celeborn is beholden to youhe told me so himself! He asked me to convey his thanks to you for being brave enough to face Galadrial!

"But this is all my fault! All of it! I left the whatzit here for you to findI convinced you to bring me back with you - to deceive everyone! I'm the one who said the scrying mirror was evil! If my fiancée hadn't sent me the first time, never mind twice, none of this would have happened! "

"I am indebted to him. If he had not been so selfless as to send you here again, I would never have met you."

"I don't understand, HaldirI've caused nothing but trouble for everyonefor you."

"Do you know what my life was like before I found the Ring, Caladria? Centuries of isolation. Centuries of patrol. Centuries of maneuvers. Centuries of war. There was no joy in my life, Caladria. Unlike others of my kind, I rarely smiled. I never sang, I never laughed, and I never danced - well, not unless I was drunk, that is." They both chuckled a little at the reference to his bump and grind dance the night they met.

"Until I found that Whatzit, my life was nothing but being March Warden of Lothlorien. Since thenwell, granted there were someshall we say, bumps along the waybut they were well worth it. I would gladly suffer through many times that for what I have gained."

"What did you gain, Haldir?" Caladria asked, her voice muffled against his chest.

"You. I gained you, Caladria."

She gasped, looking up at him with disbelief. He placed his hand at the nape of her neck, and bent forward, gently pressing his lips to hers.

Pulling back, he looked into her eyes, and smiled. He held her close again, not sure that he would ever be able to let her go. Caladria wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulders, her tears, now of relief and joy, wetting the front of his tunic. Finally, without another word being said, letting go only with a supreme effort, he took hold of her hand and led her back to the talans.

Gimli spotted them as they walked up the stairway that led to the talans. He noticed Haldir holding Caladria's hand and smiled to himself. "It's about bloody time," he thought, walking up to meet them. He made no mention of his observation, not wanting to embarrass either of them. "Haldir, Laddie, have ye seen Legolas lately? I've been looking for the boy all morning!"

"I saw him earlier, Gimli. He waser, entertaining some of the young ones."

Gimli lifted an eyebrow at that, but then shrugged his shoulders. "I'll catch up with him sooner or later." He smiled a farewell at the two of them, continuing on his way.

They found Sam in the talan, mounds of supplies, bags, bundles, and boxes piled on his bed. "Sam, what are you doing?" Caladria asked, motioning to the mess on the bed.

"Packing," he said, giving her a smile. "I must return to The Shire, Miss Caladriamy family is there, and wellI miss them! It's time to go back."

"You cannot journey to the Shire alone, Sam. You know how dangerous the road can be," Haldir said, frowning. "Who journeys with you?"

"We do," came a pair of voices from the doorway. Haldir turned to see Rumil and Orophin entering the talan. Seeing their brother's astonished face, the two started laughing.

"Are you the only brother allowed to make journeys? Lord Celeborn has bid us to go to the Grey Havens to check the conditions of the docks. We will escort Mr. Gamgee back to the Shire on the way."

"Good journey to you all, then. Sam, I thank you for joining me, and staying with me until the quest was done," Haldir said, grasping Sam's forearm in farewell. Turning to his brothers he said, "Do you need me to go with you?"

"Nay, brotheryou have reason enough to stay here," Rumil smiled, his eyes darting to Caladria. "I'm sure we can muddle through without the March Warden, somehow," he continued, earning a smirk from Haldir.

"Yes, and don't forget about Elf Scout Daysit's your turn to be tortured by the little ones!" Orophin laughed, slapping Haldir on the back. "Not to mention the other duties of March Warden that you have sadly neglected while gallivanting about Arda!"

Haldir smiled at both his brothers. He agreed, he did have reason to stay. As a matter of fact, he had more reason to stay now, than he did before he left. He smiled at Caladria, reaching for her hand again.