Title: My wish
Disclaimer: Any of the characters in this fan fiction do not belong to me. They belong to all-might CLAMP, *worship worship*.
Rating: PG-13 for now, rating might go up in later chapters.
Summary/spoilers: Yes, spoilers for Tsubasa but nothing major I think. An AU fic, Sakura has regained her memories and returned home, but is it a happy ever after? What if what happened to Sakura affected Touya more deeply than what he initially let on? Inspired by Tam Chronin's 'To those left behind'
Warning: Shounen-ai- YukixTouya
Other notes: Please read and review! ^^ Author works faster with comments. *bows* Thanks to Tam Chronin, bronzeeagle13, Syaoranfan, Yami no Tenshi, Kammy and pipichan for reviewing. ^-^ THANK YOU!
Chapter 3
This is meThe surprise is written
On every inch of your face.
Tell me why?
Did I really surprise you?
Or is this a façade?
You are joking-
How could you not know
This is me.
~*~
Being King was hard. Being a friend was even harder. I console myself with the fact that at least I am a good king… or so I like to think. But being a friend is too complicated; one second he's smiling and the next he's frowning. What am I supposed to make out of that?
When did I turn into the bad guy of this tale?
Yuki.
Why won't you look at me? Did my answers stun you? Well, you shouldn't have asked those questions if you did not wish to hear the answers. Although it's a little too late for that now, isn't it?
I stop before your door, but I do not knock. Are you awake or are you dreaming? If you are dreaming, then whom are you dreaming about?
My mind is filled with the perfect image of your sleeping face breathing softly in rhythm as you rest in such sweet stillness. Your hair invites my hand to reach out and caress it but my brutish touch does not affect your slumber.
Your slim body, delicate wrist, so thin, so weary… it would be so easy to break you. But I would never… I promised myself I would never hurt you…but…it's in my nature.
My arms, my body, so powerful, the sign of my warrior training… What good is a king who cannot protect his people? Who cannot fight alongside his soldiers? A coward is not fit to lead others.
You are the only person I ever ran away from.
Yes, you…
Yuki.
I'm not a coward, but you already know that mage. I am the emblem of my people and I am the hope that drove them through this war. What are you? You are…I don't know who you are anymore. So as you asked me before, let me ask you now- who are you?
At one time, you were my other half, my advisor, my family. Going a day without seeing you brought melancholy from the depth of my soul. Now everyday that I see you makes the weariness in my heart sting deeper.
It hurts deep inside, but my face remains impassive. My fingertips itch, waiting to hit you, but the thought of that is repulsive. How did I come to have such revolting judgment? The thought of being without you overwhelms me but desiring you suffocates me.
Tell me why?
Breathe Touya, yes. Keep breathing and just walk away. Away from this cursed door where the cursed one sleeps. The one who almost took your sister's life. The one who holds the most powerful weapon in all the land…
~*~
But Touya was not the only one who was up late. Striding along the corridor with an exhausted expression on his face was Fye. The wizard wore a long white nightgown with a cap, which had probably been selected by Yukito. He held a long piece of parchment in his left hand and a burning candle in his right.
The king didn't have enough time to duck out of sight. Spotting him, Fye gave a short bow, before yawning widely and quickly covering his mouth, nearly hitting himself with the scroll. "Isn't it a bit late to be up and about your majesty?"
"Ah-er- well, yes, but I couldn't sleep." Touya said coughing slightly.
"Oh, so you wanted to see if Yukito could offer you a draught for sleeping?" Fye suggested in a mild tone. However, his look made it clear that he was insinuating something else, something Touya didn't want to think about…
"Um…"Touya paused for a second before carefully structuring his answer. Fye was harder to fool than Yuki in some ways, though Yukito knew him better. "Yes, I have had signs of insomnia lately, but the high priest was fast asleep when I knocked on his door so-"
"Want me to knock again? I'm sure he won't mind being woken up. I suspect he would be rather worried if he found out you could not get any sleep your majesty." Fye bowed lightly again and Touya had the slight suspicion he did that just to hide his smirk.
The king didn't want to see Yuki; when the mage awoke his expression was so innocent…Touya shook his head and folded his arms, "No, Yuki," he said pointedly, "Needs to get some sleep, so why don't you just make the potion?"
Fye smiled innocently. "Of course your highness. I have to admit I am rather inept at brewing any herbal mixtures, but let's see if Yukito's training has rubbed off on me. Are you sure you don't want him to do it?"
"No." the king said firmly, "Just lead the way to your chamber."
~*~
"I'm not going to drink that." Touya said. He was sitting on a comfortable looking chair. Fye's room was spacious, like Yuki's. It had a huge window on one side, with bookshelves on the other side, and a desk littered with scrolls.
A door on the right led to a bathroom in which there was also a huge wardrobe for clothing which held a wide selection of outfits. Back in the main room, a thin lining of curtains separated the immense bed from the rest of the room.
At this moment, a cauldron underneath a magical fire stood in the middle of the room, as Fye held a magic book in his hands muttering to himself. "But it smells fine!" the wizard protested.
"It's not the smell that bothers me-"
"I'm sure it tastes like strawberry-"
"I'm more concerned about what effect it will have…"
"I told you we should've called Yuki for this!" Fye threw his arms up in the air, exasperated.
Touya raised an eyebrow. Had Fye just called Yukito Yuki? But that was his nickname for the mage. Since when had they been on such friendly terms? The king shook his head; he was letting his imagination run wild again.
But jealousy had such powerful influence…
That is, assuming that he was jealous of course. And after all, why should he be?
No, of course he was not! What a silly question. Touya shook his head again. Maybe it was best that he try and get some sleep… "I'm afraid I've wasted your time wizard."
"Ohhh no, you're not going to leave this to waste, you are going to drink it."
"No." Stare.
"Yes." Stare back.
"No." Glare.
"Yes." Glare back.
"N- look this is getting annoying." Touya pressed two fingers to his temple.
"That's the point." Fye said beaming at the king. Touya sighed- this man was impossible! Honestly, with his eternal smile and bright eyes… he reminded the king… he reminded the king… of…
Yuki.
Sucking his breath in surprise Touya looked away from Fye's puzzled face. "Ano… have I done something wrong?" Concern was the only tangible emotion in Fye's words.
"No Fye, I'm just a bit drained tonight." Touya rose from his chair, inclining his head in a polite gesture. "After all, morning is coming soon is it not?"
The wizard gave a polite nod, "It is. I'm afraid I've kept you here far too long your majesty. It may be best that you get yourself to bed- after drinking my potion of course." Fye's innocent smile turned mischievous.
Giving an impatient sigh, Touya shook his head again, "I told you that drinking that is probably going to make me sick."
"And then Yuki can nurse you back to health." That phrase had been meant to be harmless, although Touya's renewed scowl caused Fye to blush in awkwardness and look away.
"Sorry… I thought you guys were…. You know…" Fye fell silent again when he felt Touya's piercing stare on him. "Sorry." The wizard apologised curtly.
"You should… probably know that-" Touya paused for a second, staring at Fye. Now that he looked at him closer, he saw that Fye had an air similar to Yukito's, just less naïve. "That you will be high priest in this country soon."
Whatever Fye was expecting Touya to say, he was unprepared for that statement. 'Ah… so that's why Yuki was so defensive towards me…' the shock was evident on his face for a few moments before Fye assumed an indifferent expression, "Demo- what about Yukito-san?"
"The council has already decided-"
"But you can't do that to Yuki! Isn't the king supposed to be the one who decides this kind of stuff?" Fye said, showing a trace of anger about Touya's choice of making him high priest. It was rare for the mage to show anything other than a patient, pleasant air…just like…
Yuki.
"Maybe." The king replied in an enigmatic tone. None of his features betrayed any inner thoughts or emotions. Perchance Touya didn't feel anything at all; could he be capable of ridding himself of his best friend without even thinking about it twice?
"Demo…" Fye protested again, "I can't accept it, I won't…"
Touya didn't reply, just looked at Fye, scrutinizing his face. Somehow, his expression seemed extremely similar to Yukito's. He could tell by the way Fye's lips moved that he was upset about the news.
"Doesn't Yuki get a say in this?" Fye pleaded, voice rising.
Touya stepped past the wizard and stirred the potion, "No." At that curt answer, Fye felt like screaming at Touya. Instead the soon-to-be high priest turned and helped Touya stir the mix.
He had been expecting Fye to scream at him, or get mad or something, but his indifference now took Touya by surprise. 'Well, its better for him to get used to it like this.' Touya thought.
Fye's eyes seemed to tell another story, and the wizard was in deep thought. "Will you drink it now?" Once again, the mage held the cup towards Touya. Feeling he had nothing to lose, Touya took the cup in his hands and took a sip.
"Uhg-" Disgusted, the king shoved the potion away from him. "You were right; we should've called Yukito for this."
Eyes lighting up with glee, Fye grinned. "I told you so!" he cried triumphantly.
"My head-" Touya pressed his fingers to his temple. The room began to spin around him, faster and faster.
"You'd best sit down highness…" Fye said, uncertain.
"I'm alright…" Touya grabbed Fye's arm for support. The wizard did his best to hold him up, but Touya was better built. Taking a step back to balance himself, Fye landed on the chair Touya had been sitting on before, and Touya slumped on top of him.
'Oh god…' Fye cursed silently, "Yuki!" the wizard called for the aid of his colleague. Yuki could undo whatever Fye had just caused…
"Yuki!" Fye shook Touya's shoulder, "It will be alright your highness… the high priest will be here soon…"
"But… you're the high priest…" Touya muttered, his eyelids fluttering.
Fye shook his head, "No- I'm not your highness, I'm just Fye! One of the companions of the brat that saved your sister…" he tried sitting up, but Touya was too heavy; the king had unconsciously pinned him down, "Yuki!"
"I…know… who… you are…" Touya said, trailing off. "That's why….I…." the king moved forward, pressing his lips against Fye's for a second as the wizard looked up in surprise.
The door to Fye's room opened and a sleepy voice sounded, "Fye what on earth are you-" Yuki froze at the sight before him. Touya was literally sitting on top of Fye, kissing him. They were kissing. Yuki's mind froze.
Hearing Yukito, Fye pulled away from Touya. "Yukito, it's not what you think! You see, he drank this potion and-"
"It had bad effects?" Yuki finished, mustering up as much calm as possible. Fye nodded, motioning to Touya, who was looking at Yukito as if the mage was a ghost or a very frightening apparition.
Did I really surprise you?"Yuki…"
How could you not know…
This is me.
Then, for the king, everything went black.
End of Chapter 3
Next chapter: If I could say it.
