Title: My wish
Disclaimer: Any of the characters in this fan fiction do not belong to me. They belong to all-might CLAMP, *worship worship*.
Rating: PG-13 for now, rating might go up in later chapters.
Summary/spoilers: Yes, spoilers for Tsubasa but nothing major I think. An AU fic, Sakura has regained her memories and returned home, but is it a happy ever after? What if what happened to Sakura affected Touya more deeply than what he initially let on? Inspired by Tam Chronin's 'To those left behind'
Warning: Shounen-ai- YukixTouya, TouyaxFye
Other notes: Please read and review! ^^ Author works faster with comments. *bows* Because of the way TRC is developing some things in the story will be sorta… different from the manga, ^-^ I will try to make adjustments and explain stuff so it all flows… as best as possible. ^^;;; Thanks to x cHaoTiK drEamZ, spyn1l, silrayn silverwolf, Princesswashu7, pipichan, Umidori and everyone who reviewed last time! This chapter is for you guys (because your reviews keep the author inspired)
Also apologies for long time of no updating, school has been so busy lately… u_u. On the good side, the pause has allowed me to plan more of what will happen XP And yes, this is turning from a semi-AU into an AU. O-o
Chapter 5
Speak not to me!No, speak not to me
For I won't listen.
I wish to be away from here.
So?
What you have to say
That I have not heard before?
Leave me in my solitude.
I need no companions.
What?
Did you expect me to smile?
Why should I?
Just to satisfy you?
No, speak not to me
For I won't listen.
Speak not to me!
~*~
"You are avoiding everyone Yuki-kun, what's wrong?" Her voice is crystal clear, but I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything except silence. No, speak not to me for I will not answer.
"Yuki….please?" she pleads again and my heart does not have the strength to resist her. Things aren't her fault. Ah but aren't they? If she had never gone into the ruins she would have not lost her soul and you would have not lost…Touya. That nasty voice in my head won't go away anymore…
"Princess." I say finally, straining my voice to make it sound pleasant… No, speak not me, I don't want to speak and I don't want to listen. "I am merely feeling exhausted from work, nothing to be worried about."
"But you're avoiding everyone." She butts in quickly before I am able to finish my sentence.
"That's not true-"
"Demo, Fye-san said you were acting weird." Sakura pressed one hand over her crimson lips, eyes widening slightly as if she'd said something she was not supposed to say. Was I the only one missing something here?
Fye. Bitterness along with resignation. Those were the feelings stirred up by that simple name. Fye D. Flowright. Mage from Celes. Companion of Syaoran. Yep, *that* Fye.
"Did he now?" the tone is harsh and I cannot help it. Sakura takes a step back. Afraid of me? How uncharacteristic, I would never hurt her, in fact to save her life I had given up what was most precious in mine. "I believe Fye-san has better things to worry about than me."
With those last words the conversation had ended and I leave the room, my cloak billowing behind me. The cool silk brushes along my skin cold but so smooth… like Touya's delicate hands. He might have the skill of a warrior but his hands never grew coarse like other knights.
Must be all that royal blood.
Not only Touya had changed, but Sakura also seemed so different since the return of her trip. None of us are quite sure of what happened. Kurogane and Fye were unwilling to say anything else to elaborate on Syaoran's story.
Apparently the link between all the dimensions had a deeper impact than we've thought it would. So in a way my prediction had come true after all, Sakura had the power to change the world… all the worlds- just in a manner that none expected. For the greatest change came within oneself.
And it caused trouble.
But Sakura was happy and that was Touya's wish. So I was ecstatic about it as well. Or rather I should be… but then why do I find it so hard to smile?
Touya you lied, you said that when we were in private we were childhood friends!
Is this the way friends treat one another? Or is it that you have no feelings for me? Not even as a friend…? But why Fye? If it had been someone else I could've understood… but Fye! Fye! Why him? Is it because… his power is more than mine? But he can't even see visions!
But you also said that my visions made you angry… I never thought you meant… angry- as in well… angry mad… I warned you Touya, I told you, you shouldn't be so mean. I said to you it was not good.
It could've never worked, you are King and *I* am servant. You always wanted compromise… for things between us in private to be normal. However, appearances mattered to you more, to the public we were King and high priest.
You nearly died that night Touya, after the soldiers attacked…. The poison was in your system. Cursing through your every vein. There had only been one way to save you.
There is a Wiseman who inhabits the mountains away from the city. Taishakuten [1] they call him and he is both respected and feared by all. You know him Touya, you saw him only once- that day before your parents died.
I knew he had the means to save you, but the price he asked of me was high, but nothing was too much in return for your life. So I paid Taishakuten's price- the right to consume me.
I did that. Just to save your life.
Unclean, that's how I felt after it, so I was unable to confess the truth of your cure King and that's how it will remain: Untold.
~*~
Usually for me going down to the library is the most enjoyable activity of the day. I enjoy watching the sunlight pour through the crystal windows, lightening in the room, then leaving it in darkness once again…
Light was capricious. It only came when it wanted, then it left again without so much as a backward glance towards anyone or anything. Light. It cleared the musky scent and vile air. Light filtered through the stained glass… only fragmented rays stream across.
Today the light was not enough to lift my spirits; the murkiness of the room seemed to press onto me, sucking me into that darkness. Yes. I couldn't stay here right now… turning on my heels to exit the room I bumped into the person I was least likely to expect. One of the people I didn't need to see. One of the people I didn't want to see. For me the memory was too strong, too vivid still.
"Fye-"
The light-haired man hesitated as if afraid of saying something that would cause me to lash against him. But why? I had accepted the fact that he was to become High Priest… although my brain still refused to accept part of what had occurred last night.
"Good day Yukito."
"Is it?"
Fye blinked twice as if unsure of what I meant. My eyes swept behind him looking at the white wall with its golden symbols. Most people don't know that the symbols mean something; they come from our ancient language and illustrate spells for protection. Defence against attacking magic-wielders.
"What is?" Fye finally asked slowly, giving his lazy superficial smile. Well that was better than a frown or a blank face. I returned the gesture flashing a fake smile of mine, that seemed to be enough to encourage him to continue this chat and not exit down the hall as fast as he could.
"The day," Smoothing down the edge of my priest attire I half-shrug, "Is it good?"
Comprehension lights his features as he nods quickly, "Yeah, a nice day."
I don't answer; his comment doesn't need an answer. *I* don't think it's a nice day, but why tell that to someone who already knows? Fye can tell by my silence that I don't agree, or like it.
"Dammit Yukito, you're making me feel as this is all MY fault." Fye cried out, reaching out to touch my arm. I remained like a stone under his grasp… he had such nimble fingers.
"Isn't it?"
"That's not fair on me Yuki, if I'm at fault then so are you and Touya."
"How so?"
"You should've told him the truth about how you felt and he… he kissed me." Fye said breathlessly then gasped as if he let out something he had no intentions of speaking before. Boy did people seem to be doing that a lot lately around me. Guess subtlety was not their forte.
I visibly flinched the words echoing in my head.
Touya kissed Fye.
Touya chose Fye.
"Wait-"
For I was already beginning to retreat, back into my solitude away from this mundane business. I ignored my heartbeat, which was now throbbing painfully, come to think of it, my head also pounded and for that moment I hated them both. Hated them with such a burning passion I never knew it was possible to loathe anyone as much as I did.
It felt like betrayal. "I shouldn't have said that…" Fye continued. "You love Touya-sama…"
Did I? I wasn't sure. "You tell me High Priest, since you seem to know everything that goes on around here better than myself." I drew on acidly. A hurt expression crossed his features but I didn't know if it was the use of a more formal title or the tone, which had caused that. Maybe it had been neither and Fye was just feeling sorry for himself again.
"Yuki…"
"That's Yukito-san to you, High Priest. Good evening." Giving a small curtsy I retreated back into the study, back to my books and knowledge. Knowledge, the true happiness in my life… or so I like to tell myself.
~*~
It was late when the knock was heard at my door. Scrolls were littering the room and my lap was burning low. I contemplated the possibility of ignoring the knock altogether and getting back to my studies but then the knock came again this time more insistent.
Sighing, I resign myself to the fact that I will have to answer the door, pulling the chair back I rise in a fluid motion then head towards the entrance, making space on the floor by pushing scrolls aside.
Knocking comes again for a third time as I hover near the door. Yes, I've heard you already and I can tell you won't go away. The golden handles are cold underneath my grasp as I pull the door open, then time seems to freeze.
"Touya…" My mouth is dry as I mutter the name.
"Yuki." He replies with the same tone. "We need to talk." He's even ignored the fact I forgot to call him 'Ou' or something more respectful. This must be one of those 'serious' chats.
But Touya, I don't want to talk…
No, speak not to me, for I won't listen.
End of Chapter 5
Next chapter: Look at us now.
[1] Taishakuten is originally from RG Veda, the evil emperor.
Notes: ^^ RG Veda fans I hope you caught on the whole 'consume' me thingy XD. RG Veda is such a lovely manga. I thought it would link well since Ashura is important to Fye… lalala. ^^~ That's all I'm saying for now…
