Piece of mind

Athrun sits in his room, looking at a picture of Nicol and himself, they didn't know eachother for so long, but he really saw him as a friend. Now he's gone, his best friend had killed him, he wants revenge, more than anything else!

He looks up, mind set, he's going to kill the son of a bitch, if it's the last thing he does.

A knock on his door.

"What, who is it?" he snaps.

"Issac..." the bored answer is.

"What do you want?" Athrun asks.

"Kruze set me up to talk to you, and even I think it's necassary, you've been in that room for hours, skipped dinner and even shouted at Kruze, that's nothing like you..." Issac tells him.

Athrub sighs. "And you came all the way down here just to tell me that? Shees, you shouldn't have done that..." Athrun says sarcastically, he walks towards the door and opens it.

Issac is a bit shocked when he sees Athrun's red eyes, it seems like he's been crying for quite a while.

"Believe me, there's a first time for everything, I'm worried..." Issac says.

Athrun makes a sound of disbelieve. "Look, Nicol was a very good friend of mine, I miss him very much, can't I at least grief?" he nearly shouts it.

Issac nods. "Of course you can, but you can't blame us that we're worried!" he says.

"Since when do you care?" Athrun snaps.

Issac shakes his head. "I know you can't imagine..." he murmers. "Just don't do anything stupid, ok?" he asks.

Athrun nods. "I won't do that, ok, now please leave me alone!" he murmers, before Issac can say anything, he closes the door and locks it.

He waits until Issac walks away.

He takes place on his bed and picks up the picture of Nicol again. "Issac doesn't understand, I'm really sorry, you know, I never really meant to hurt you... but I couldn't kill Kira either, could I?" he asks. The picture merely smiles back. Athrun sighs.

"Damn this!" he murmers.

"Just don't do anything stupid, ok?" he hears Issac say in his mind.

'That'd still be my choice, Issac...' he thinks. He thinks of the possibilities, he'd be able to be free of pain, no more war... he likes that thought and likes it a lot.

He sighs, what if he'd do it? Would anyone even care? Issac says he would... cold Issac, he can hardly believe it.

He stands up, walking towards the place where he keeps his gun, he picks it up. "Maybe... it would end it all... maybe I should just do it... this isn't a way of living either..." he says to himself.

An image of Nicol comes to his mind, he's talking to him.

"Athrun, don't you dare doing this, there's a lot more to live for, don't blame yourself for what happened to me, I did it myself, didn't I? Stop this stupid idea, you aren't going to kill yourself, help to stop this war!"

Athrun is shocked, Nicol wanted him to live... of course he wanted to, else he wouldn't have died for him and he's just being selfish thinking like this.

"I'm sorry, Nicol... what was I thinking... I won't do it, I'll make sure your sacrifice wasn't invane!" he says.

He walks away from his room, to the place where all the others are, he just silently takes place at the table.

"I'm glad you're here!" Dearka says.

"What, thought I was going somewhere?" Athrun asks with a slight smile.