Storm Clouds Always Roll In On A Wednesday
Chapter Six: Reminiscing and Remus
Remus,
It's been a while, I know. It's hard to believe that you're all grown up! Your mother would be so proud of you Remus, I know it. The last time I saw you was when Alex turned 2… No, I remember now, you were at Fredrick's funeral. I don't know if I got to tell you how glad I was that you came.
Merlin, you wouldn't believe how much your Goddaughter has grown. She's already 16- I don't even think Alex remembers you. While you've been away, many things have happened. –Many things.
I don't know if you heard it or not, or whether Albus told you, but David and Jessica died. It looks to be the work of Death Eaters, and considering all the effort they put into making the public aware of what's happening with Voldemort, I shouldn't be surprised… But I am—I was. It hurts me to think that I might have done something to prevent it, perhaps stopped it somehow. I'm sorry you missed their funeral Remus, but I understand. It WAS the day after the full moon.
There's no point in dwelling in the past I suppose. After David and Jessica's funeral, things have been thrown into chaos. You would think I would be used to setting family member's affairs into order, but it seems to get harder each time I do it. Then there's the problem of the press. There was quite a gathering of important American Government Of Magic Officials, as well as reporters, the press, and friends and family of course. At least David and Jessica got the attention they wanted in the end. Now the entire country is in an uproar at the idea that Death Eaters could have killed two of America's best Aurors and that it might mean that Voldemort is back.
The hardest thing though, is Alex. This has hurt her far more than me, Remus. And I'm afraid I'm at my wit's end with her. At the funeral, she gave the eulogy because that's what people expected of her, but afterwards… She told me she didn't want to feel—that she hadn't felt like that in a while. I was worried, but now I'm even more worried than I ever thought I could be. She had told me she wished she was dead inside, and now I fear that it's true. I can't get her to do anything, Remus. She just stays in her room, doing who-knows-what, and not eating. She won't talk to me, she won't open up, and she won't let herself feel. I wish I knew what I could do to help her, but I've tried everything and nothing has worked.
I talked to Albus after Alex and I had a very, …painful fight. I was so close Remus. At least, I think I was close to getting her to open up. But right when I though I had breached the gap between us, she closed up, and moved even farther away.
Albus told me, well; he told me that I was too close. That she needs to distance herself away from her parents and their death. …He said that I should let her go, let someone else be her guardian. I know that you're smart Remus, and I'm sure that you've figured out what I'm getting at, but I'm going to say it anyways. Remus, I need, ALEX needs, her Godfather.
She needs someone that she doesn't feel attached to. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think that Albus was right, Remus. And I trust you. I trust you over any stranger. I thought… perhaps, that you could connect with Alex in a way I can't. And she needs that connection. Alex has had a troubled life, as hard as yours, if not worse. Alex needs somebody she can trust, and I need someone to trust too. I understand if you need to think on this; I wouldn't blame you. What I ask is a huge responsibility, and a huge change. I already know of your work with the Order, and I don't think it would affect your raising Alex if it came to that.
Please, think on it. And please come, if only to tell me what your choice is in person. Please help me Remus, you're all I have to rely on.
--Cassandra
Remus read the letter, then re-read it. He shook his head. It wasn't possible…David, and Jessica…And little Alex. Remus frowned, no, not little Alex anymore. She was sixteen now. He looked at the parchment in his head. He remembered Fredrick's, that is, Cassandra's husband's funeral very well. He was sorry he had missed David's and Jessica's. They were- had been, good friends. And now they're dead. Just like James and Lily. Remus felt a fresh wave of sorrow wash over him. So many of his friends were dead.
Remus sat down at the small kitchen table and took a sip of his now cold tea. He winced. How long had he let that particular cup of tea sit there? He tried to remember when he had poured it. Ah, that's right. Three days ago, just before he left to go to a Meeting of the Order. When he had returned, he had found a large barn owl sitting in the tree outside his window with a letter for him.
At first he had thought it was from Sirius, who was somewhere spying on some Death Eater. Then he had noticed the beginning of the letter, 'Remus'. Sirius didn't call him Remus in his letters. Sirius always called him Moony. By the time he had finished the first paragraph he had known it was Cassandra.
By the time he had finished reading Remus had been shocked. He knew that Jessica and David had made him Alex's Godfather, but at the time it was in good fun, not for real. They had all laughed about it, Remus never thought to think that it might have been serious. Remus had pushed it out of his mind soon after, he hadn't even told Sirius that he had been 'dubbed' a Godparent. Of course, that was when he thought that Sirius was the traitor. He hadn't told him because he hadn't wanted to endanger David, Jessica and Alex. Oh great, another wave of guilt. Just what I needed.
Remus stood up and proceeded to make a fresh cup of tea. The noise he made while making it helped him clear his head, but he still came back to the same thing over and over.
Me?? ME?? A Godfather? I couldn't possibly, I'm a WEREWOLF for Merlin's sake! Not to mention the Ministry wouldn't allow it. A werewolf raising a child?
Remus mentally corrected himself. No, not a child, a teenager. I'm not sure which is worse, the thought of raising a child or the thought of raising a teenager. Merlin knows that BEING a teenager was hard enough. OF course I wasn't the average teenager either.
Remus choked on his fresh made tea when he realized that the way his thoughts were going. It almost sounded like he was actually considering the thought of raising a sixteen-year-old! Preposterous!! There was no way he could do it, not with everything going on. Besides, he wasn't a parent, what did he know about raising a child?
He remembered when Alex was born a couple of months after Harry. He changed more diapers that year, than any other year he could remember. What he did remember though, was holding Baby Harry and thinking that James must have looked like that when he was born. Oh, and his eyes! Lily's Eyes, he thought. And then there was Baby Alex; who looked like a perfect mix of both her parents.
The first time he saw her, he thought that both her and Harry had such contrasting eyes, but both of them had the same bright intelligence reflected in them. In those first couple of months he had been so afraid he was going to accidentally hurt one of them or drop one of them while holding them. He worried about that for the longest time back then.
That year was a happy year, one of the best. He had been surrounded by friends their children. Children who called him 'Mooy' and 'Ummie', which stood for 'Moony' from Harry, and 'Uncle Remus' from Alex. He had felt such happiness that year because James and Lily, And Sirius, and yes, even Peter at the time, were one part of his family, and David, and Jessica and Cassandra were the other part. Just thinking about that year made Remus smile like a child in a candy store.
He would have done anything for them, Remus realized. James, David, Lily, Jessica; all of them. That's why he agreed to be Alex's Godparent, that's why he went away when James and Lily became Voldemort's targets. Because he wanted to protect them- ALL of them.
And, Remus thought mournfully, I failed each and every one of them. James and Lily died, Sirius was convicted of their murder, and that of their killer's murder too. And I never lifted a finger to help him. Pettigrew's still at large, and now David and Jessica are gone, dead too. I even left Harry with those horrible muggles, even though I knew how they felt- and still feel, about Harry, and magic in general.
Remus abruptly stood up. Time to snap out of those mournful thoughts.
Remus walked over to the fireplace and threw in a handful of floo powder. "Albus Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts!!" He then stuck his head in the flames. After a moment of rushing in his ears and a passing wave of dizziness, Remus Lupin opened his eyes to be greeted by the sight of Albus Dumbledore's office, down to the very spinning, shining, and unusual items that always decorated Albus Dumbledore's office. Remus glanced around before noticing that one thing WAS missing from Albus' office. Albus himself.
"Albus?" Remus called out, hoping that the Headmaster was just out of sight. Alas, after his call, instead of Albus appearing, a small ridiculously dressed house elf appeared looking forlorn and wringing his hands.
"Dobby is sorry sir, but Headmaster Dumblydor isn't being here sir." Remus furrowed his eyebrows. Not here? Where else could he be? Remus noticed the house elf was still in front of him.
"Can Dobby be of service to sir?" He looked hopeful. Remus sighed.
"Do you know when Albus will be back...erm...Dobby?" The immediate change in the small creature was amazing! He immediately perked up and seemed to swell with pride. House elves were strange creatures, Remus decided.
"Oh yes! Dobby is knowing when Headmaster Dumblydor is being back sir! Dumblydor is saying to Dobby, he said, "Dobby, I is having a special job for you. I is having to go to Ministry and will be back soon, until then, you is going to be watching my office Dobby," he says. He says, "You is to stay there in case anyone comes by, that way they isn't wondering where I's is."
Dobby was sayings how very proud Dobby was to do that for Headmaster Dumblydor and would do it. Now Dobby is here in case Headmaster Dumblydor is having visitors who is stopping by. Dobby is supposed to help them as much as Dobby can; taking messages, telling where's Dumblydor is, and telling visitors when Dumblydor will be back."
Dobby looked very proud of himself and his speech. Remus had to try very hard not to laugh at him. Remus tried to look serious.
"Hmm... I see, and when exactly will he be back?" Remus tried to look menacing, just to see what the house elf would do- and failed miserably. The house elf didn't even blink.
"Headmaster Dumblydor is telling Dobby to say to visitors who stops by that Dumblydor will be back precisely at eight o'clocks and not before then." It took Remus a moment before he understood what the house elf- Dobby was it? -Had said. He nodded and gave Dobby a small smile.
"Thank-you Dobby, that's very helpful. You're obviously doing a very good job." Dobby gave small a squeal of happiness that was cut off short by Dobby clapping his hands over his mouth.
"Sir is very kind to Dobby. Dobby is grateful for the unearned praise sir gave him. Does sir want to leave his name for Dumblydor?" Remus grinned.
"You can tell him that Remus Lupin stopped by." Dobby nodded eagerly, his ears flapping.
"Remus Lupin." Dobby repeats. Remus nodded.
"Thank-you for your help Dobby. I appreciate it." Dobby tried to stifle another squeal of happiness. Remus started to pull out of the fireplace when he heard one last thing from Dobby.
"You is welcome, Remulus Lupine!!" Remus fell onto his den floor from laughing so hard at Dobby's skewed pronunciation of his name.
AN:: Well, FINALLY!! Please don't eat me, it's not my fault. My dad finally brought the disk back and here is the chapter that's been waiting for the past 4 weeks. Again, thanks to the people who keep reading my story- you're all wonderful people and will have great karma for the rest of your life... Unless you decide to kill someone or something that might ruin the karma... kaffKaff Well, THANKS TO:
lizzie5555555- look!! See??! Remmie!! lol. And yes, Alex WILL be going to Hogwarts... wheather she wants to or not. : )
Lil' Bode- To answer your Q, my lil bro is 13, I just like to make fun of his typing and horrid english talking skills (not that I'm any better... ; P) PS- I love your hyperness. FF writers LOVE when people get into the reviews they write. I say, "The more wierd the review, the better!!"
Chicklahoma- look!! I updated again!! I'm glad you like the story and keep reading!!
Lyric's Angel- :( Jeeze... this reviewer just made me sad... "Vile Mary Sue Garbage" indeed.
As for the rest of you- Keep cheering me on it makes me have a warm feeling inside my stomach, kinda like cocoa. Just want you guys to know that I appreciate my reviewers!! Loves!!
PS-- READ MY SECOND FF, FLORA AND FAUNA AND THE THREE LITTLE WIZARDS!! They need more reviews. ; P BTW- YES, the names are supposed to be that way- it's called irony.
