Title: The Darkness Within
Author: SelenaK16
Rating: R, for bad words, bloody, graphic fight scenes and some sexuality
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: The Dark Lord is growing ever stronger, and the time has come for a hero. A warrior will arise, one who is the antithesis to that which is evil. But will she be able to fulfill her destiny, or will she let her heart get in the way? (Warning: OC)
Author's notes: This is my very first fan fic! I hope everyone likes it (or at least some of you). I have tried very hard to stay away from Mary Sue elements in my OC. Also, currently I am searching for a Beta reader for this story. If you are interested, please e-mail me. Enjoy!
The Darkness Within
Chapter Five: Speak Your Thoughts To Me
Understanding (Wash It All Away)
You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the answer is always there.
Can't wash it all away
Can't Wish it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't cry it all away
The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time
We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real.
Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away
Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone
You're not alone, are you?
Never... Never.
Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No
Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away
Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away
But the answer is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
Because I'm tired of it too.
Because I'm tired of it too.
Because I'm tired of it too.
Because I'm tired of it too.
Because I'm tired of it too.
As she entered the room, the voices lowered as all the students turned to look at her. Holding her head up, Ava walked toward the table where the silver haired boy and his friends were sitting. The boy was watching her, and as he saw her approach the table he stood up and said something to the boy next to him. The boy reluctantly moved over to make a space. "Over here," the silver haired boy called to her. Ava strode over to him and sat down in the recently emptied place. The silver haired boy sat back down, turned to her and said, "Allow me to introduce myself......My name's Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy."
"James! Hey, James, can you see which table she's heading towards?" Sirius Black strained to look over the sea of bodies. "No...wait...yeah, she's heading towards Slytherin," James replied, looking over at his friend. "Damn! Why do all the hot girls always end up in the other houses?" Sirius moaned. Remus Lupin looked over at him with a superior look and said, "To get away from you of course." Peter Pettigrew laughed at this, until he noticed to look on Sirius' face. "Shut it, you," he growled at Peter, "and as for you, Moony, what makes you think you know anything about what girls want? How big is your fan club?" he smirked, while running his finger's through his hair, much to the enjoyment of the group of girls who were watching him close by.
"But you know Sirius, Moony's right...in a way," James said. "You do have a...reputation..." Sirius glanced back at his best friend. "Yeah, maybe...but she doesn't know that. We have Transfiguration with the Slytherin's tomorrow. I'll put the moves on her then..." Sirius drifted off into his thoughts as Remus and James exchanged a look, and Peter tried desperately to get Sirius to divulge exactly what those moves were.
"Can't you just once leave the new girls alone?" James asked, while trying to hide his smile. "After all, she is in Slytherin now. Probably end up hanging out with Snivellus." Sirius looked back at James with a grin. "All the more reason to score with her first. You know me....it's all about the hunt." Remus rolled his eyes and resumed eating his shepherd's pie, while Peter just gazed at Sirius, a look of awe plastered on his face.
"Pleasure to meet you. My name's Ava Servo," she replied with her friendliest air. Lucius smiled, and then looked back at his group of friends. "Allow me to introduce you to the rest of my group. That is Narcissa Black" he said while nodding towards the blonde girl, who now had a look of intense dislike on her face. "That's Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix," pointing at the black haired girl, who gave Ava a careful once over. "These two here are Crabbe and Goyle," Lucius said rather nonchalantly, waving towards the two large boys, who were now fighting over a plate of treacle tarts. "Oh, and that's Severus Snape over there," he said pointing towards the long haired boy Ava had seen in the hall. Snape didn't look up upon hearing his name; he only continued to eat his dessert quietly. Ava smiled and said, "Well, it's really nice to meet all of you."
She was just about to reach for some of the left over Shepherds pie when Narcissa spat out,"Are you pure or a mud blood?" Ava stopped and looked up. All conversation had ceased at her part of the table, and all eyes were on her. Even Snape had turned to stare at her. When she didn't answer, Lucius sneered, "What, don't you know?" Recovering from her initial shock, Ava turned to face him. "Of course I'm a pure blood. What were you expecting?" He still looked suspicious, as well as the rest of the Slytherins. Ava sighed. This was one thing she did know about. Mother had always been very particular about telling her abut their family's history. "My mother was Mara Colubra. My father was Sidus Servo, heir to the Servo Estate," she replied evenly. Narcissa still looked suspicious, and asked, "Well, if you're a pure blood then why are you just now starting school?"
"I was home schooled before by my mother. But, she's dead now, so Dumbledore thought it would be best for me to come here." Ava didn't like the look on Narcissa's face. She was a very pretty girl, but there was something cold about her.
"Home schooled, huh?" Lucius replied. "My parents considered that. Thought it would be better for me not to mix with the riffraff in this school. But my mother wanted me to come here." Narcissa brightened at this, "Well, it's a good thing you did come here. Or we might not have met," she laughed rather forcibly. Ava was suddenly reminded of a National Geographic special she had seen once. Animals defending their territory, which was exactly what Narcissa seemed to be doing.
Lucius glanced at Narcissa, but chose to ignore, a fact that didn't go unmissed. He turned to Ava, "So, what was wrong earlier with the hat? What happened with the Professor's in the back room?"
"Oh, well, it seems that occasionally the hat can't decide where to put a person. So the person then has to choose their own house."
"What! You mean you may not even be a real Slytherin?" Bellatrix interjected.
"I think that if she chose Slytherin, then she must be." This comment startled Ava, as it was the first thing Severus had said since she had sat down. She glanced over at him, but he never looked up and continued eating.
Lucius nodded though, "Yes, after all, you could have chosen some other house. But you made the right decision; all of the other houses are full of Mudbloods and Muggle lovers. Who wants anything to do with that trash?"
"I agree totally. But, I suppose it was just luck then that I chose this house. The hat didn't say anything about the Mudbloods in the other houses. If it had, then the choice would have been easier," Ava said. It was true though, if the hat had told her what Lucius had, then the choice would have been easier. She had grown up away from purebloods her whole life, and now she thirsted for their company. They were her equals and she longed to feel like one of them.
Ava spooned the Shepherd's Pie on her plate, took a swig of Pumpkin Juice, and said, "It's great to finally be around Purebloods."
Ava arrived back at her house, totally devoid of any remaining strength. She arrived just in time, for as she touched down on the ground the moon began to set. As she trudged towards her front door, her wings began to dematerialize until there was nothing left.
'Funny, how it can hurt so much at first, but then disappear without so much of a tingle.'
Removing her wand from its holster, Ava removed the spells from her door and pushed it open. Being careful to seal it again behind her, Ava then moved towards the front of the entrance hall and rang a small bell.
A house elf appeared almost instantly and bowed low, "You rang mistress?" "Yes, Jeevo. Please send one of the others up to my room to help me undress. Then have a spiced wine sent to my room," Ava began to walk towards the staircase, "Oh, and I will be sleeping late tomorrow. Please hold all messages and instruct any callers to return later in the afternoon."
Jeevo bowed again and disappeared with a crack. Ava continued towards the staircase and climbed it up to the third floor towards her bedroom. Another house elf was waiting for her, and promptly began to assist her in undressing.
'Good thing too...I don't think I have the strength to do it by myself.'
The spiced wine was waiting for her at her bedside table, and she stumbled towards it. The bed had already been turned down, so she drank the wine in one gulp, collapsed into bed and was quickly claimed by sleep.
"Come on you know you want to."
"But what about Narcissa? Aren't the two of you together?"
"That's only what I let her think. Our parents are old friends, and they've always wanted us to get together. Personally, I think she's the last person I would marry."
"But Lucius...I couldn't do this to her. She's my friend, and I know she cares about you."
"Yes, but I don't give a damn about her. I love you, and I know you feel the same way. Why can't you just accept this and let it happen?"
"I....I love you Lucius, but I don't..."
Ava woke up in a cold sweat. She glanced at the clock on the wall, and groaned realizing she had only been asleep for half an hour.
'Why? Why do I keep having that same dream? It was all so long ago...why should I still care?' Ava turned over in bed and faced the window, staring at the inky blackness of the sky. 'Dawn will be coming soon, and I have a meeting tomorrow...must get some sleep...'
But this time, sleep refused to come, and she was left staring out the window, a prisoner to her thoughts...
Okay, I hope I have some reader's out there. Would be great to hear from you in the form of a review though!
I have already finished this story. Will be nice and long, with a couple of unexpected turns in the plot. Love angst? You're gonna get enough to last you a long time. I will be posting a new chapter every week, generally on Saturady.
House Elf shaped confetti for reviewers!
