(A/N: I am hereby transforming this poem collection... into one of poems and short stories! Whoo-hoo! I got the idea for this one after I saw that new Tostitos commercial... you know... the one about "Tostitos and dip in the conference room". Well, it got the wheels turning, so I present the third piece of insanity in this growing saga... "Tostitos and Coffee in the Meeting Room".)
Harry Kim frowned, staring at his Ops station. It was quiet on the bridge... too quiet. Tuvok worked silently at Tactical, but where was Tom? Or Chakotay? And the question that plagued him most, where was the captain? She wasn't one to skimp on duty shifts...
"Oh... wait, no," he muttered to himself. "That's an easy one. Where there's a little break for her, there's a little coffee." He rolled his eyes, laughing a little at his mother figure's dependence on the stuff, and this cheered him up enough to turn back to the blinking lights on the Ops station.
"Hey, Harry!" The doors to the bridge hissed open, and there was Tom, looking excited about something.
"Where've you been, Tom? And where's everyone else who should be here?" Harry questioned.
"More like where've YOU been, Harry. Didn't you hear? The captain's giving everyone the day off because this is such a stupid story. Better yet, there's Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room! We're rounding up the senior staff... JUST the senior staff..." Now he was whispering, which Harry thought was silly, since there wasn't anybody but senior officers on the bridge. "I mean, wouldn't want Naomi Wildman or Lt. Ayala gobbling it all up, would we?"
"No... I guess not. Now that you mention it, it has been a while since I've had Tostitos and coffee." Harry paused for a moment, thinking. "Now that you also mention it, what ARE Tostitos?"
"I have no idea," Tom shrugged, "But anything's better than more Leola Root Stew."
"Yeah, you've got a point there... let's go!" Harry and Tom then moved to get Tuvok, who didn't look up from his console as they approached.
"Hey, Tuvok, everybody's got the day off!" Tom said, grinning. Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow.
"That is highly illogical. Having a free day only serves to waist time that could be spent doing more logical things."
"Like?" Harry asked. Silence pierced the bridge.
"...meditation," Tuvok said, and turned back to his console.
"Oh, come on, Tuvok! There's Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" Tuvok raised an eyebrow once again.
"...alright. I shall accompany you, since I assume you will not cease bothering me until I do," Tuvok said, giving a small sigh.
"That's the spirit, Tuvok," Tom said, grinning again. The three left the bridge, off to fetch the other senior officers.
"Hey, BLT!" Tom called as the trio entered Engineering. B'Elanna twitched, giving a small growl, and tried not to laugh at the fact that her husband used that stupid old nickname.
"What is it, Turkey Platter?" She said turning around, smiling.
"We've got the day off! Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" He said. "We're getting all the senior officers together before somebody else gets there and eats it all."
"What're Tostitos?" B'Elanna asked.
"Beats us, but we don't really care," Harry said. Tuvok rolled his eyes.
"Well, whatever. As long as we have the day off..." she grinned and followed the three out of Engineering.
"Seven! Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" B'Elanna called to the former Borg, working silently in Astrometrics. She turned around looking puzzled.
"Whatever Tostitos are, I am sure they are irrelevant. However, for the sake of the story, and the fact that I, once again, was spending my free time here, doing some technobabble things that currently do not require my full attention... I will accompany you." With that, 5 of the senior officers now left together, off to find Neelix.
Once they arrived in the Mess Hall, they ignored any other crewmembers and made a beeline for Neelix's little alcove behind the serving counters. He heard their approach and turned around, cheerfully smiling.
"Oh, hello everyone! What can I get for you?"
"Day off. Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room," Tom, who had somehow become the leader of their little group, said happily.
"Ooh, Tostitos? Is that a new food? Am I going to get to try it?" Neelix asked eagerly.
"Yep, but we'd better hurry before anyone else gets there and eats it themselves," B'Elanna said.
"Oh, boy! Maybe I can add it to my Leola Root Stew!" Neelix said, walking excitedly ahead of the group. Everyone cringed, even Tuvok and Seven, and they all followed him reluctantly.
"Should we get The Doctor?" Harry asked as they walked towards a turbolift.
"Well, considering he can't eat..." B'Elanna said.
"Wouldn't it be rude NOT to invite him along?" Tom said, as they entered the turbolift.
"I guess so..." Harry shrugged, and they headed towards Sickbay.
"Hey, Doc! Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" Tom yelled as they entered Sickbay. "We gotta hurry!"
"What in the world are-" Suddenly he vanished, as B'Elanna had already stored The Doctor in his mobile emitter, picked it up, and rejoined the group. Everyone was beginning to get quite excited about these Tostitos and coffee...
"This only leaves Commander Chakotay, right?" Neelix said, grinning eagerly.
"Right, let's go!" Tom said, and the group entered yet another turbolift.
"Hey, Chakotay!" Tom was getting very used to yelling this. They stood outside Chakotay's quarters as the doors swished open.
"I know," Chakotay said immediately. "Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room."
Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded. He grinned. "My spirit guide and I have been keeping up with the story. I'm the last one, right?"
"Uh... yeah. Let's go," Tom said, laughing nervously.
"And where there's coffee, there's Kathryn!" Chakotay said eagerly under his breath. Seven, however, frowned and smacked him on the head. "Ow! ...sorry."
"Which reminds me," B'Elanna said, "aren't we forgetting someone?"
Everyone thought for a minute in silence.
"You mean the someone that'll down all that coffee within 5 seconds?" Tom said.
The group murmured in agreement and kept walking.
Finally, the moment they'd all been waiting for was here! They had reached the meeting room, where these creations called "Tostitos" awaited them, along with some coffee. They entered the familiar room, a giddy feeling lingering in the air. There on the long table were pots of steaming coffee, and bowls full of different kinds of dip, which, they determined, was used in almost every 21st century party. Lying next to these bowls were bags of odd, stiff-looking corn foods... labeled "Tostitos". B'Elanna had activated The Doctor, who was fiercely examining these ancient foods for any signs of contamination. Finally he folded up his tricorder and turned to the eager group.
"Well... they appear to be safe to eat... and it IS food. Although why anyone would want to eat this-" However, The Doctor was stopped by the flood of hands grabbing for the chips, and dipping them into the bowls, no longer interested in anything he had to say. "...stuff is beyond me," he finished, rolled his eyes, and stepped back.
"Hey, this stuff is REALLY good!" B'Elanna said between mouthfuls of chip and dip. Everyone nodded in agreement, their mouths full. They continued stuffing their faces, talking, laughing, and having a great time.
The meeting room doors swished open after a few minutes. Everyone looked up, a little startled to see none other than Captain Janeway, who was smiling and holding a large stack of PADDs.
"Hello, everyone!" She said as she walked to the table, dropping the PADDs on it with a large "thump". "Welcome to today's productivity meeting!" She planted her hands on her hips, looking around at her senior officers, still smiling. "I'm sure the next few hours will be VERY enlightening."
Everyone stood frozen and stunned. They'd been had! They'd fallen so easily into the captain's cunning trap... and now they were forced to work! Work! So much for a day off.
"Um..." Tom said, backing towards the door. Everyone followed his example slowly and cautiously. "That's uh... that's okay, Captain. We've... we've been VERY productive lately, as we'll show you right now by going straight to our-" he stopped dead in his tracks, realizing his mistake. He'd provoked the tiger, and she was going to attack unless they didn't bend to her will.
"...I beg your pardon?" Janeway growled through clenched teeth, a death glare shooting towards the poor senior staff. They all quivered in fear, and once again Seven and Tuvok were no exception. Some of them could swear that flames were shooting out from behind her. She folded her arms, still glaring. "The next few hours are going to be VERY ENLIGHTENING... THAT'S AN ORDER..."
The group gulped in unison, and hurried to their seats, muttering forced, scared agreements.
"You know... yeah... I, uh... yeah. Productivity is nice. Very nice," Tom said, laughing nervously.
Janeway smirked triumphantly and tossed a chip into her mouth.
Harry Kim frowned, staring at his Ops station. It was quiet on the bridge... too quiet. Tuvok worked silently at Tactical, but where was Tom? Or Chakotay? And the question that plagued him most, where was the captain? She wasn't one to skimp on duty shifts...
"Oh... wait, no," he muttered to himself. "That's an easy one. Where there's a little break for her, there's a little coffee." He rolled his eyes, laughing a little at his mother figure's dependence on the stuff, and this cheered him up enough to turn back to the blinking lights on the Ops station.
"Hey, Harry!" The doors to the bridge hissed open, and there was Tom, looking excited about something.
"Where've you been, Tom? And where's everyone else who should be here?" Harry questioned.
"More like where've YOU been, Harry. Didn't you hear? The captain's giving everyone the day off because this is such a stupid story. Better yet, there's Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room! We're rounding up the senior staff... JUST the senior staff..." Now he was whispering, which Harry thought was silly, since there wasn't anybody but senior officers on the bridge. "I mean, wouldn't want Naomi Wildman or Lt. Ayala gobbling it all up, would we?"
"No... I guess not. Now that you mention it, it has been a while since I've had Tostitos and coffee." Harry paused for a moment, thinking. "Now that you also mention it, what ARE Tostitos?"
"I have no idea," Tom shrugged, "But anything's better than more Leola Root Stew."
"Yeah, you've got a point there... let's go!" Harry and Tom then moved to get Tuvok, who didn't look up from his console as they approached.
"Hey, Tuvok, everybody's got the day off!" Tom said, grinning. Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow.
"That is highly illogical. Having a free day only serves to waist time that could be spent doing more logical things."
"Like?" Harry asked. Silence pierced the bridge.
"...meditation," Tuvok said, and turned back to his console.
"Oh, come on, Tuvok! There's Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" Tuvok raised an eyebrow once again.
"...alright. I shall accompany you, since I assume you will not cease bothering me until I do," Tuvok said, giving a small sigh.
"That's the spirit, Tuvok," Tom said, grinning again. The three left the bridge, off to fetch the other senior officers.
"Hey, BLT!" Tom called as the trio entered Engineering. B'Elanna twitched, giving a small growl, and tried not to laugh at the fact that her husband used that stupid old nickname.
"What is it, Turkey Platter?" She said turning around, smiling.
"We've got the day off! Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" He said. "We're getting all the senior officers together before somebody else gets there and eats it all."
"What're Tostitos?" B'Elanna asked.
"Beats us, but we don't really care," Harry said. Tuvok rolled his eyes.
"Well, whatever. As long as we have the day off..." she grinned and followed the three out of Engineering.
"Seven! Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" B'Elanna called to the former Borg, working silently in Astrometrics. She turned around looking puzzled.
"Whatever Tostitos are, I am sure they are irrelevant. However, for the sake of the story, and the fact that I, once again, was spending my free time here, doing some technobabble things that currently do not require my full attention... I will accompany you." With that, 5 of the senior officers now left together, off to find Neelix.
Once they arrived in the Mess Hall, they ignored any other crewmembers and made a beeline for Neelix's little alcove behind the serving counters. He heard their approach and turned around, cheerfully smiling.
"Oh, hello everyone! What can I get for you?"
"Day off. Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room," Tom, who had somehow become the leader of their little group, said happily.
"Ooh, Tostitos? Is that a new food? Am I going to get to try it?" Neelix asked eagerly.
"Yep, but we'd better hurry before anyone else gets there and eats it themselves," B'Elanna said.
"Oh, boy! Maybe I can add it to my Leola Root Stew!" Neelix said, walking excitedly ahead of the group. Everyone cringed, even Tuvok and Seven, and they all followed him reluctantly.
"Should we get The Doctor?" Harry asked as they walked towards a turbolift.
"Well, considering he can't eat..." B'Elanna said.
"Wouldn't it be rude NOT to invite him along?" Tom said, as they entered the turbolift.
"I guess so..." Harry shrugged, and they headed towards Sickbay.
"Hey, Doc! Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room!" Tom yelled as they entered Sickbay. "We gotta hurry!"
"What in the world are-" Suddenly he vanished, as B'Elanna had already stored The Doctor in his mobile emitter, picked it up, and rejoined the group. Everyone was beginning to get quite excited about these Tostitos and coffee...
"This only leaves Commander Chakotay, right?" Neelix said, grinning eagerly.
"Right, let's go!" Tom said, and the group entered yet another turbolift.
"Hey, Chakotay!" Tom was getting very used to yelling this. They stood outside Chakotay's quarters as the doors swished open.
"I know," Chakotay said immediately. "Tostitos and coffee in the meeting room."
Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded. He grinned. "My spirit guide and I have been keeping up with the story. I'm the last one, right?"
"Uh... yeah. Let's go," Tom said, laughing nervously.
"And where there's coffee, there's Kathryn!" Chakotay said eagerly under his breath. Seven, however, frowned and smacked him on the head. "Ow! ...sorry."
"Which reminds me," B'Elanna said, "aren't we forgetting someone?"
Everyone thought for a minute in silence.
"You mean the someone that'll down all that coffee within 5 seconds?" Tom said.
The group murmured in agreement and kept walking.
Finally, the moment they'd all been waiting for was here! They had reached the meeting room, where these creations called "Tostitos" awaited them, along with some coffee. They entered the familiar room, a giddy feeling lingering in the air. There on the long table were pots of steaming coffee, and bowls full of different kinds of dip, which, they determined, was used in almost every 21st century party. Lying next to these bowls were bags of odd, stiff-looking corn foods... labeled "Tostitos". B'Elanna had activated The Doctor, who was fiercely examining these ancient foods for any signs of contamination. Finally he folded up his tricorder and turned to the eager group.
"Well... they appear to be safe to eat... and it IS food. Although why anyone would want to eat this-" However, The Doctor was stopped by the flood of hands grabbing for the chips, and dipping them into the bowls, no longer interested in anything he had to say. "...stuff is beyond me," he finished, rolled his eyes, and stepped back.
"Hey, this stuff is REALLY good!" B'Elanna said between mouthfuls of chip and dip. Everyone nodded in agreement, their mouths full. They continued stuffing their faces, talking, laughing, and having a great time.
The meeting room doors swished open after a few minutes. Everyone looked up, a little startled to see none other than Captain Janeway, who was smiling and holding a large stack of PADDs.
"Hello, everyone!" She said as she walked to the table, dropping the PADDs on it with a large "thump". "Welcome to today's productivity meeting!" She planted her hands on her hips, looking around at her senior officers, still smiling. "I'm sure the next few hours will be VERY enlightening."
Everyone stood frozen and stunned. They'd been had! They'd fallen so easily into the captain's cunning trap... and now they were forced to work! Work! So much for a day off.
"Um..." Tom said, backing towards the door. Everyone followed his example slowly and cautiously. "That's uh... that's okay, Captain. We've... we've been VERY productive lately, as we'll show you right now by going straight to our-" he stopped dead in his tracks, realizing his mistake. He'd provoked the tiger, and she was going to attack unless they didn't bend to her will.
"...I beg your pardon?" Janeway growled through clenched teeth, a death glare shooting towards the poor senior staff. They all quivered in fear, and once again Seven and Tuvok were no exception. Some of them could swear that flames were shooting out from behind her. She folded her arms, still glaring. "The next few hours are going to be VERY ENLIGHTENING... THAT'S AN ORDER..."
The group gulped in unison, and hurried to their seats, muttering forced, scared agreements.
"You know... yeah... I, uh... yeah. Productivity is nice. Very nice," Tom said, laughing nervously.
Janeway smirked triumphantly and tossed a chip into her mouth.
