Warning: Contains sensitive subject.

Chapter Five: Through My Eyes

"Wait, Fred you don't understand..." Were the last words I heard Angelina say as I walked away from her. I'm tired of trying to understand, tired of trying to figure out what's going on. If she loves Montague, then I won't stand in her way.

"This isn't fun anymore."

But why can't she understand where I'm coming from? Doesn't she understand, that when it comes to her, that I wear my heart on my sleeve? That when it comes to her, I can't think straight, that I practically go insane? For crying out loud, I hit my own brother, not just my brother, but my twin. How paranoid can I be?

"For real, I'm not playing."

It didn't always use to be like this though. There was a point in time when we were just friends; she was just one of the boys and that was enough for me. But ever since last year, after the Yule Ball, when I kissed her for the first time, I knew I could be with no one else.

Everything used to be so perfect between us. When did everything change? Oh, yeah, it was about several weeks ago, after our little trip. She just started talking to me less, and sneaking out pass curfew, which was only strange because it wasn't with me and George. Then she just started ignoring me all together. At first I thought she was mad because I had ruined our trip, didn't know how, it was actually just a blur to me for awhile.

"I think you've had to much."

Then as the days went by and I was seeing her less and less, all kinds of things started running through my head. I guess that's when I started noticing George's behavior, especially towards Angelina. Then one day, while walking to my afternoon class, Angelina passed me with this look on her face, and like a tidal wave, everything came rushing back to me.

"Wait."

And she knew I knew. I caught up with her later that day, and we had had arguments before, but nothing like this. I was upset, not with her, but with myself, yet I took everything out on her. I accused her of seeing someone else, I accused her of spending too much time with George and having feelings for him. We argued about everything, everything except the one thing that really mattered.

"Please."

The next night, the night I caught her before she snuck out of the common room, didn't go as well either. We were just going around in circles and I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I didn't want to break up with her, but I didn't see any other way. That look on her face was burned into brain, and I felt disgusted with myself. Why the hell would she want to be with me? After what I've done?

"Fred."

I swear, I didn't mean it. She has to know that. I had had to much to drink, I didn't know what I was doing, but that's still no excuse.

"Fred!"

I just wish I could take it back.

"No!"

I just wanted her to love me.

"STOP!"

To Be Continued. . .