-Who's the Turkey?-
Duo sat in the heavy chair, it's brocade holding him up far more firmly than he would have liked. The thing about being in big chairs is that you -sink- into them and hope that no one will come to pull you out of them. You just siiink and sink and sink. And he definitely was NOT sinking.
He let his eyes wander around the room. Thanksgiving. It was pretty much Tro's idea. The man had made them celebrate every friggin' holiday the first year out. Thankfully things had quieted down to Christmas, Valentines, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, and any football days that came up. But he thought that the football days were due to Wufei's discovered passion for sports. Sports were too much like war for Duo to enjoy.
They had it at a different house each year on rotation. So far they had had it at Quatre's house the year before, this year it was at Wuffie's and Tro's, and next year since he and Heero would be sharing a place (as they so often did) it would be at their place.
As they so often did? He hadn't really thought of how often he and Heero ended up together. Both during the war and after. Heero was really Quatre's best friend, not his. And Quat always had extra room and offered living places to them all. He'd always said no, though he'd desperately wanted to at times, because he wanted to know that when he stood up, it was his own feet he was using to hold himself up on. He had always simply assumed Heero had been that way too.
Looking at Heero, Duo wondered just what it was that the two of them had. And he wasn't thinking like in one of the stupid fan fictions. It wasn't like that. It was something completely different from a simple "Oh boy, he's hawt, kinIhavehim?" emotion, really. And he didn't have a true name for it. There just always had been a connection between them. Not the deep, emotionally laced connection Heero and Quatre had, or for that matter, that Quatre had with everybody. Nor was it that -holy shit, can I just be a voyeur?- sense he got off of Tro and Wu-man. It was, well - just Heero. And he could think of no one else he'd want to live with. They didn't get all personal and mushy most of the time. Heero was anal retentive and Duo was a slob and somehow they managed. Heero had early hours and Duo often stayed up until two in the morning doing his work (or writing his new passion) and while they did see one another at least once a day or so, they didn't go starving if they didn't have time together. When it got bad, one of them would drag the other one up earlier or deep into the night to a club or something and there get their fix. And it turned out that both of them could stand about the same amount of time away from one another before they needed to reconnect. It was a lazy, laid back, tight, committed -
Wait. Who was saying anything about committed?
Ah fuck, of course they were committed. Look at how long they'd been together - been staying together that is. The war had ended and for a year they'd roomed just outside Quatre's place to keep close to the guys since Wufei and Tro were staying with Quat. But neither he nor Heero had felt comfortable in the open spaces of that large mansion. They'd needed something more homey, more safe, like the places they'd holed up in during the war. It helped with Heero's nightmares and it helped with Duo's - well, streetrattedness, so to speak.
Then a year and a half later, Heero's work had started. No one cared that he was too young to do what he was doing. They only knew that he was the best and people were willing to pay out of the nose for services. He'd gotten Duo into a few jobs now and then, enough to keep Duo's head above water. Heero though, had needed to relocate to London to be closer to most of his clients due to some hostilities between England and the IRA hacking division. He'd lived there for six months until, claiming to be sick of rain and saying that it left him screaming at nights (though he only admitted that to Duo and maybe, Duo supposes, to Quat) he'd simply moved back in with Duo.
That move had been difficult. Duo was glad Heero was back, but he was restless that time, frustrated he hadn't found his own path yet, and unfulfilled with the schools they were sending him to. He wasn't stupid and he rarely saw the good in repetition when his brain picked it up the first time. Doing homework was tedium he didn't want to deal with. But he was almost done. And maybe it was the itch to get out of school and get to doing something. It drove Heero out again after only four months.
He'd felt like a shit, seeing Heero leave like that. But it was a relief as well. He had the place to roam in, like a big cat, wanting through the bars at anything that moves, just to prove that it's still one damn scary predator. He hadn't made many friends at school. They all talked about things that simply didn't matter to him. And the kids that did have something in common with him (often times the homeless kids and the goth and other misfits of life and brain) didn't have the breadth of experience and still saw the world through rose colored glasses. Even the kids who had been screwed over by life. They were still waiting for their true love to show up or that perfect opportunity to prove to everyone that they were worthwhile. Duo had had to get over that need for validation a long time ago. It simply didn't mean anything to him, nor did the often times manipulative and idealized reactions of the other kids around him. He managed to keep an acquaintance or two. It got him through his Heero'less time, as he was wont to call it.
He rarely saw Heero during that time. Though he called the guy every week, at least once a week and despite there being a strain, neither of them wanted to back down from what contact they needed with one another. You can't save the world together and not have a desperate need to remain together. Besides, despite getting on his nerves, Heero and the rest of the guys were the closest thing to family he had. Hell, they -were- family. It was that simple. Tro was Mom, Quat was a really nice Dad. Wufei was like a young brother. And Heero? Well, Heero was like his twin. They were too much alike inside, despite the outter differences, to not be really close in a sort of twisted, sick, crazy way.
It had been Duo who had cracked finally. A year later. He'd just ended up at Heero's doorstep and staring into his friend's face had grinned in a way he didn't feel inside, and asked, "How's the nightmares, Heero?" Heero hadn't answered but somehow, without a word spoken of it, Duo had left his own place and moved into Heero's. It was a way to split costs and it kept Heero from having nightmares. And if Duo was honest with himself (which he rarely was when it came to needing somebody) it kept Duo's smile real.
Ever since then, they'd been keeping one another company. Not much had changed, really. From that first time. Except that Duo was the one who had decided this time and somehow he managed to cage the tiger or panther or whatever it was that made him so nervous that one time. He still felt like pacing sometimes. He just took it outside when he did. And he'd walk until it didn't bother him anymore. Be it an hour or two days. Heero didn't worry about him because maybe Heero understood. At least Heero didn't seem to worry. And there was always some food waiting for him in the fridge, covered and ready to heat up for when he got back.
And it wasn't as if they were best friends. They were family. They knew one another inside and out and Duo understood what made Heero tick in a way that no one else, not even Quatre with his space heart, could. Wufei had his honor, his dead family to support his spirit. Quatre had his sweet, beautiful heart. Trowa had Catherine and his lions and his talents that weren't anything like death. But Heero and he? They'd never had an opportunity to make something real out of their childhoods. They'd been robbed, and they huddled together like the orphans they truly were.
Oh - yeah, so Thanksgiving. Duo blinks, realizing he'd went off into his own world for far too long. Heero was standing across the room with Quatre's arm around his shoulders, though he was taller, Quat had managed to gain on them all and even had surpassed Wufei, and talking to Sally Po. Though the other two were laughing, Heero's eyes were set tightly and focused on Duo. A grin rushing to the fore, Duo was surprised to discover that he'd been staring at his roommate unabashedly for heaven knows how long. Heero's face showed slight worry and at the smile Duo gives him, he quirks his own lips slightly before turning back to the others.
It was an unspoken language.
Kind of like Tro's and Wufei's. Just, umm.. different. Because they weren't lovers or anything. But they knew one another that well. Well, not -that- well.
Taking in a deep breath and shaking his head to clear it, Duo stood and entered the party, now in full swing. Some were family of Quat or Tro's circus family. Some were friends of various pilots, some were friends of friends, dates, children, spouses, that sort. It seemed that the gathering got bigger each year and somehow, they were drawn deeper and deeper into the world they lived in. Not that Duo minded that, really. It helped to keep him grounded, somehow. Knowing that a room full of people knew him beyond his face and his fame as an ex-pilot.
"So... you read my stuff?" a whisper danced to his ear and he smirked, turning to look at the light blue eyes, dancing with mischief.
"Not bad, Quat. Or should I call you, Hemahn?" That was a name to beat all names. "You know, I would have thought you up something a lot better than that, if you'd asked me."
Quatre shrugged and letting go of Duo's waist, dances out a few steps and bows. "Yes, but you already had the kitty name, so I didn't want to copy."
Grinning, Duo looked around them and then indicated a chair, sitting down in it and watching Quat take one close by. "So," he intoned dryly, "I've still got to get you for what you did to us all. I'm just biding my time, you understand."
Quatre laughed a sweet pealing that was almost too feminine but still had that husky quality to ensure all he was pure male. "I was waiting for it. I've liked that last one you wrote. I bawled like a baby."
"Yeah, but it doesn't take much to make you bawl, Quat," Duo grinned.
"Well, at least I know you have a heart under all that joker stuff, Duo." Quatre quipped. Then at the shocked look on his friend's face, he laughed and shook his head. "No, I've known all the time. It's just you don't let it out very often. You're fun to hang out with, Duo. But you don't like to connect very often. And when you do connect, even you don't know you've done it," he added cryptically.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Duo eyed his friend with a slight puzzled frown creasing his brow.
"I just mean, that there's a lot in your fictions that you've never let out before. Are you sure you're being honest with yourself?"
There was a leading to this line of questioning that Quatre wasn't letting on about. Duo's frown deepened further. "Ah, I am honest with myself. I don't always face up to facts, but I don't lie to myself, if that's what you mean."
Quatre suddenly looked like a cat about to pounce as he so often did when something moved under his whiskers which smelled just right and wiggled. "That's exactly what I mean," he purred while lifting a brow and giving Duo a firm stare.
Duo's confusion was knocked sideways when a pillow knocked him on the back of the head. Turning around as he reached over and picked it up, he glared at the already glaring Heero. "Wha-at?" his smile breaking out instantly. "We're just talking! Sheesh you get so jealous sometimes! I'll give him back as unsullied as I found him, I promise!" Then he winked at Quatre and laughed. "Or as unsullied as he'll let me."
"Hn." Heero approached and sat down casually on a couch end, but Duo could see his eyes laughing so it was all the same to him.
"You know that Quatre's been writing? He wrote one fiction and -"Duo began with an intent to start his revenge.
"And Duo's already commented on it in his own reviews when it comes to his stuff!" Duo heard Quatre say with triumph. Suddenly the world constricted to a pinprick. Light? What was light? And air? Oh shit. His small lungs couldn't take in more than a teacupful of air.
"Duo is writing too?" Heero's voice rung out, sufficiently surprised and Duo couldn't see to tell if he was screwed or not.
'You didn't know?" Their words are distant, Duo could barely hear Quatre.
"Mmm.." Heero was thinking. It made sense his roomie would think now about it. "He has been staying up late." Was that laughter there? Was Heero laughing at him now?
"Who's been staying up late?" Oh shit! Not Trowa, too! And where Tro was -
"What is going on?" Wufei wasn't far behind.
His gaze slowly coming back, Duo stared in pained shock at his friends. Secret's out. Now it was just a matter of time. His off handed attempt to get back at Quatre had managed to make him the center of attention again. Only it was not the kind of attention he needed.
"Duo is writing those fictions we were talking about last month," Quatre shoveled more dirt on his coffin. "He is really good, actually. But it's mostly lemon stuff. Not sure if you'd all want to read it."
"Not .. just.." his voice croaked and he could barely recognize it, and with that sound his vision cleared. He could see them all. Heero laughing silently. Trowa an unflappable as always. Wufei shocked. Quatre's eyes gleaming because he knew just what he'd done. He had learned at the knee of the best, hadn't he? And the pupil was definitely surpassing the teacher in this one.
"Right. No, I've done a few too," Quatre stole Duo's attack and knocked him for another loop. No one seemed too surprised at Quatre though.
Trowa chuckled low and slipping his arm around his love's waist, looked them over. "Is there something we should know?"
"Nani? No!" Duo stared, shocked at them all. "Dammit, it's just stories!"
"Nah," Quatre remained unflustered, the perfect host, the perfect murderer of reputations, the perfect criminal master mind. Duo would kill him later. "I did it to give Duo a hard time, but he messed up my plan by thinking it was cool. And Duo writes fantasy. It's not even close to the real him and Heero."
Duo shot up, standing and reaching for something. He found an arm nearby and gripped it. "Ah..." Damn Quatre's eyes! He so blithely made everything secret viewed in a harsh, unforgiving light of reality. "Shit.. I... I..."
"You okay?" a voice rumbled somewhere, concerned. But Duo wasn't interested in who it was. He had to get the hell out of here before Heero looked at him and he was unable to keep whatever secrets he needed to keep from showing to his stolid roomie. Breaking past them all, he stumbled out of the room and through the grand mirrored kitchen, to the foyer where his footsteps echoed, and through the door. Somehow managing to get down the lengthy entrance staircase without breaking his neck, he walked unsteadily out onto the grounds to a locust tree a hundred feet off next to a small man made stream on the grounds. There, he sank to the earth and trembling, tried to remember how to breathe.
He knew it was going to happen, so he wasn't surprised to hear the soft footsteps behind him a few moments later, nor feel the soft rustling presence settle down beside him. They sat in the stillness broken only by the soft giggling hiccups of the stream passing by their feet.
Finally, with a sigh, Heero broke the silence.
"You know, I've read a few of those too. I was with you when you discovered them. I heard that one that Quat read. It's not that I don't understand that you have a libido, Duo."
Duo turned his head to gape at his roommate. He couldn't really think that Duo was gay??? Unable to say a word in reply, he managed a grunt.
Heero's lips quirked. 'Like a silver moon tipped flower, just waiting to be kissed,' Duo's mind created words for the picture and he shoved the pen back into his subconscious where it needed to be so it didn't fuck up his life.
"I'm not saying that you're interested in guys, Duo," because Heero could read his mind, of course. "I'm just saying that there's a pull to those stories. And I'm saying that you're an emotional person. I can understand is all. And you don't have to feel so afraid." He raised his head and looked over at Duo, his eyes black in the darkness. But even then, Duo could tell by the set of those broad shoulders, the angle of his head, that Heero's eyes were soft as they rarely could come to be, given the right reasons. It wasn't pity, he knew that. Heero didn't have it in him to pity anyone. It was sympathy. Or empathy. Or something like that. It was just, he didn't want Heero to look at him that way. As if he understood what even Duo couldn't understand. It wasn't fair to have a guy who was purported to be the emotionless one, know more than he, the emotional basket case, did about his own state of affairs.
Without a word to say, Duo shoved around inside of his mind for some quip to throw out, some joke to make light of the entire situation. Hands empty, he returns to the world outside without even a sound. He could only stare at his friend, knowing full well that every emotion he couldn't name or even be aware of, was flickering over his face. And wondering in some back corner of his mind, if this was it.
"So," Heero looked down and away with a soft smile radiating from his voice, "don't let Quat get at you. He actually didn't know that you hadn't told me. And he went a little too far, but you've done that plenty yourself."
"Yeah," Duo was surprised to hear his voice grind out haltingly, as if it were a rusted wheel being turned for the first time in a hundred years, "But it wasn't ever about something that made everyone think ill of him, or anybody."
"Oh?" And Duo could blush because he had in fact, made a grievous error a time or two and ended up having to beg for forgiveness from more than one of his friends. "Seems to me you've been quite a turkey a few times now."
Duo heard a laugh and while it had a hysterical edge to it, the rest of it sounded comfortable, comforting.
Heero stood, holding out his hand to his roomie and once Duo found it with his own, pulled Duo up to his feet and smiled in the sudden wash of light glancing off of his face. "So shall we go in and let him grovel some? I'm sure he's more than ready."
Duo could feel something lift from his spirit. Like a spinning wind, he was free. With a grin, he looped his arm over the shoulders of his best friend and grinned mischievously, "Hmm... not sure how long it'll be before I forgive him.." and Heero laughed to hear the revenge hinting in that voice. Duo was sure to milk everything he could get from the encounter and Quat would not walk away unscathed.
Just to make sure though, that all was truly well, Heero snuck his arm around Duo's shoulders from under his friend's arm and with a low chuckle, added, "We'll make him squirm, I'm sure." And he was rewarded by an instant mega-watt smile from Duo of gratitude. Because they were in this together.
- Owari -
((Okay! And that was completely and utterly inspired by the SF-Boiz. Earth Gurl, this is what I get for writing a fic while doing SF at the same time. Hee hee))
Duo sat in the heavy chair, it's brocade holding him up far more firmly than he would have liked. The thing about being in big chairs is that you -sink- into them and hope that no one will come to pull you out of them. You just siiink and sink and sink. And he definitely was NOT sinking.
He let his eyes wander around the room. Thanksgiving. It was pretty much Tro's idea. The man had made them celebrate every friggin' holiday the first year out. Thankfully things had quieted down to Christmas, Valentines, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, and any football days that came up. But he thought that the football days were due to Wufei's discovered passion for sports. Sports were too much like war for Duo to enjoy.
They had it at a different house each year on rotation. So far they had had it at Quatre's house the year before, this year it was at Wuffie's and Tro's, and next year since he and Heero would be sharing a place (as they so often did) it would be at their place.
As they so often did? He hadn't really thought of how often he and Heero ended up together. Both during the war and after. Heero was really Quatre's best friend, not his. And Quat always had extra room and offered living places to them all. He'd always said no, though he'd desperately wanted to at times, because he wanted to know that when he stood up, it was his own feet he was using to hold himself up on. He had always simply assumed Heero had been that way too.
Looking at Heero, Duo wondered just what it was that the two of them had. And he wasn't thinking like in one of the stupid fan fictions. It wasn't like that. It was something completely different from a simple "Oh boy, he's hawt, kinIhavehim?" emotion, really. And he didn't have a true name for it. There just always had been a connection between them. Not the deep, emotionally laced connection Heero and Quatre had, or for that matter, that Quatre had with everybody. Nor was it that -holy shit, can I just be a voyeur?- sense he got off of Tro and Wu-man. It was, well - just Heero. And he could think of no one else he'd want to live with. They didn't get all personal and mushy most of the time. Heero was anal retentive and Duo was a slob and somehow they managed. Heero had early hours and Duo often stayed up until two in the morning doing his work (or writing his new passion) and while they did see one another at least once a day or so, they didn't go starving if they didn't have time together. When it got bad, one of them would drag the other one up earlier or deep into the night to a club or something and there get their fix. And it turned out that both of them could stand about the same amount of time away from one another before they needed to reconnect. It was a lazy, laid back, tight, committed -
Wait. Who was saying anything about committed?
Ah fuck, of course they were committed. Look at how long they'd been together - been staying together that is. The war had ended and for a year they'd roomed just outside Quatre's place to keep close to the guys since Wufei and Tro were staying with Quat. But neither he nor Heero had felt comfortable in the open spaces of that large mansion. They'd needed something more homey, more safe, like the places they'd holed up in during the war. It helped with Heero's nightmares and it helped with Duo's - well, streetrattedness, so to speak.
Then a year and a half later, Heero's work had started. No one cared that he was too young to do what he was doing. They only knew that he was the best and people were willing to pay out of the nose for services. He'd gotten Duo into a few jobs now and then, enough to keep Duo's head above water. Heero though, had needed to relocate to London to be closer to most of his clients due to some hostilities between England and the IRA hacking division. He'd lived there for six months until, claiming to be sick of rain and saying that it left him screaming at nights (though he only admitted that to Duo and maybe, Duo supposes, to Quat) he'd simply moved back in with Duo.
That move had been difficult. Duo was glad Heero was back, but he was restless that time, frustrated he hadn't found his own path yet, and unfulfilled with the schools they were sending him to. He wasn't stupid and he rarely saw the good in repetition when his brain picked it up the first time. Doing homework was tedium he didn't want to deal with. But he was almost done. And maybe it was the itch to get out of school and get to doing something. It drove Heero out again after only four months.
He'd felt like a shit, seeing Heero leave like that. But it was a relief as well. He had the place to roam in, like a big cat, wanting through the bars at anything that moves, just to prove that it's still one damn scary predator. He hadn't made many friends at school. They all talked about things that simply didn't matter to him. And the kids that did have something in common with him (often times the homeless kids and the goth and other misfits of life and brain) didn't have the breadth of experience and still saw the world through rose colored glasses. Even the kids who had been screwed over by life. They were still waiting for their true love to show up or that perfect opportunity to prove to everyone that they were worthwhile. Duo had had to get over that need for validation a long time ago. It simply didn't mean anything to him, nor did the often times manipulative and idealized reactions of the other kids around him. He managed to keep an acquaintance or two. It got him through his Heero'less time, as he was wont to call it.
He rarely saw Heero during that time. Though he called the guy every week, at least once a week and despite there being a strain, neither of them wanted to back down from what contact they needed with one another. You can't save the world together and not have a desperate need to remain together. Besides, despite getting on his nerves, Heero and the rest of the guys were the closest thing to family he had. Hell, they -were- family. It was that simple. Tro was Mom, Quat was a really nice Dad. Wufei was like a young brother. And Heero? Well, Heero was like his twin. They were too much alike inside, despite the outter differences, to not be really close in a sort of twisted, sick, crazy way.
It had been Duo who had cracked finally. A year later. He'd just ended up at Heero's doorstep and staring into his friend's face had grinned in a way he didn't feel inside, and asked, "How's the nightmares, Heero?" Heero hadn't answered but somehow, without a word spoken of it, Duo had left his own place and moved into Heero's. It was a way to split costs and it kept Heero from having nightmares. And if Duo was honest with himself (which he rarely was when it came to needing somebody) it kept Duo's smile real.
Ever since then, they'd been keeping one another company. Not much had changed, really. From that first time. Except that Duo was the one who had decided this time and somehow he managed to cage the tiger or panther or whatever it was that made him so nervous that one time. He still felt like pacing sometimes. He just took it outside when he did. And he'd walk until it didn't bother him anymore. Be it an hour or two days. Heero didn't worry about him because maybe Heero understood. At least Heero didn't seem to worry. And there was always some food waiting for him in the fridge, covered and ready to heat up for when he got back.
And it wasn't as if they were best friends. They were family. They knew one another inside and out and Duo understood what made Heero tick in a way that no one else, not even Quatre with his space heart, could. Wufei had his honor, his dead family to support his spirit. Quatre had his sweet, beautiful heart. Trowa had Catherine and his lions and his talents that weren't anything like death. But Heero and he? They'd never had an opportunity to make something real out of their childhoods. They'd been robbed, and they huddled together like the orphans they truly were.
Oh - yeah, so Thanksgiving. Duo blinks, realizing he'd went off into his own world for far too long. Heero was standing across the room with Quatre's arm around his shoulders, though he was taller, Quat had managed to gain on them all and even had surpassed Wufei, and talking to Sally Po. Though the other two were laughing, Heero's eyes were set tightly and focused on Duo. A grin rushing to the fore, Duo was surprised to discover that he'd been staring at his roommate unabashedly for heaven knows how long. Heero's face showed slight worry and at the smile Duo gives him, he quirks his own lips slightly before turning back to the others.
It was an unspoken language.
Kind of like Tro's and Wufei's. Just, umm.. different. Because they weren't lovers or anything. But they knew one another that well. Well, not -that- well.
Taking in a deep breath and shaking his head to clear it, Duo stood and entered the party, now in full swing. Some were family of Quat or Tro's circus family. Some were friends of various pilots, some were friends of friends, dates, children, spouses, that sort. It seemed that the gathering got bigger each year and somehow, they were drawn deeper and deeper into the world they lived in. Not that Duo minded that, really. It helped to keep him grounded, somehow. Knowing that a room full of people knew him beyond his face and his fame as an ex-pilot.
"So... you read my stuff?" a whisper danced to his ear and he smirked, turning to look at the light blue eyes, dancing with mischief.
"Not bad, Quat. Or should I call you, Hemahn?" That was a name to beat all names. "You know, I would have thought you up something a lot better than that, if you'd asked me."
Quatre shrugged and letting go of Duo's waist, dances out a few steps and bows. "Yes, but you already had the kitty name, so I didn't want to copy."
Grinning, Duo looked around them and then indicated a chair, sitting down in it and watching Quat take one close by. "So," he intoned dryly, "I've still got to get you for what you did to us all. I'm just biding my time, you understand."
Quatre laughed a sweet pealing that was almost too feminine but still had that husky quality to ensure all he was pure male. "I was waiting for it. I've liked that last one you wrote. I bawled like a baby."
"Yeah, but it doesn't take much to make you bawl, Quat," Duo grinned.
"Well, at least I know you have a heart under all that joker stuff, Duo." Quatre quipped. Then at the shocked look on his friend's face, he laughed and shook his head. "No, I've known all the time. It's just you don't let it out very often. You're fun to hang out with, Duo. But you don't like to connect very often. And when you do connect, even you don't know you've done it," he added cryptically.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Duo eyed his friend with a slight puzzled frown creasing his brow.
"I just mean, that there's a lot in your fictions that you've never let out before. Are you sure you're being honest with yourself?"
There was a leading to this line of questioning that Quatre wasn't letting on about. Duo's frown deepened further. "Ah, I am honest with myself. I don't always face up to facts, but I don't lie to myself, if that's what you mean."
Quatre suddenly looked like a cat about to pounce as he so often did when something moved under his whiskers which smelled just right and wiggled. "That's exactly what I mean," he purred while lifting a brow and giving Duo a firm stare.
Duo's confusion was knocked sideways when a pillow knocked him on the back of the head. Turning around as he reached over and picked it up, he glared at the already glaring Heero. "Wha-at?" his smile breaking out instantly. "We're just talking! Sheesh you get so jealous sometimes! I'll give him back as unsullied as I found him, I promise!" Then he winked at Quatre and laughed. "Or as unsullied as he'll let me."
"Hn." Heero approached and sat down casually on a couch end, but Duo could see his eyes laughing so it was all the same to him.
"You know that Quatre's been writing? He wrote one fiction and -"Duo began with an intent to start his revenge.
"And Duo's already commented on it in his own reviews when it comes to his stuff!" Duo heard Quatre say with triumph. Suddenly the world constricted to a pinprick. Light? What was light? And air? Oh shit. His small lungs couldn't take in more than a teacupful of air.
"Duo is writing too?" Heero's voice rung out, sufficiently surprised and Duo couldn't see to tell if he was screwed or not.
'You didn't know?" Their words are distant, Duo could barely hear Quatre.
"Mmm.." Heero was thinking. It made sense his roomie would think now about it. "He has been staying up late." Was that laughter there? Was Heero laughing at him now?
"Who's been staying up late?" Oh shit! Not Trowa, too! And where Tro was -
"What is going on?" Wufei wasn't far behind.
His gaze slowly coming back, Duo stared in pained shock at his friends. Secret's out. Now it was just a matter of time. His off handed attempt to get back at Quatre had managed to make him the center of attention again. Only it was not the kind of attention he needed.
"Duo is writing those fictions we were talking about last month," Quatre shoveled more dirt on his coffin. "He is really good, actually. But it's mostly lemon stuff. Not sure if you'd all want to read it."
"Not .. just.." his voice croaked and he could barely recognize it, and with that sound his vision cleared. He could see them all. Heero laughing silently. Trowa an unflappable as always. Wufei shocked. Quatre's eyes gleaming because he knew just what he'd done. He had learned at the knee of the best, hadn't he? And the pupil was definitely surpassing the teacher in this one.
"Right. No, I've done a few too," Quatre stole Duo's attack and knocked him for another loop. No one seemed too surprised at Quatre though.
Trowa chuckled low and slipping his arm around his love's waist, looked them over. "Is there something we should know?"
"Nani? No!" Duo stared, shocked at them all. "Dammit, it's just stories!"
"Nah," Quatre remained unflustered, the perfect host, the perfect murderer of reputations, the perfect criminal master mind. Duo would kill him later. "I did it to give Duo a hard time, but he messed up my plan by thinking it was cool. And Duo writes fantasy. It's not even close to the real him and Heero."
Duo shot up, standing and reaching for something. He found an arm nearby and gripped it. "Ah..." Damn Quatre's eyes! He so blithely made everything secret viewed in a harsh, unforgiving light of reality. "Shit.. I... I..."
"You okay?" a voice rumbled somewhere, concerned. But Duo wasn't interested in who it was. He had to get the hell out of here before Heero looked at him and he was unable to keep whatever secrets he needed to keep from showing to his stolid roomie. Breaking past them all, he stumbled out of the room and through the grand mirrored kitchen, to the foyer where his footsteps echoed, and through the door. Somehow managing to get down the lengthy entrance staircase without breaking his neck, he walked unsteadily out onto the grounds to a locust tree a hundred feet off next to a small man made stream on the grounds. There, he sank to the earth and trembling, tried to remember how to breathe.
He knew it was going to happen, so he wasn't surprised to hear the soft footsteps behind him a few moments later, nor feel the soft rustling presence settle down beside him. They sat in the stillness broken only by the soft giggling hiccups of the stream passing by their feet.
Finally, with a sigh, Heero broke the silence.
"You know, I've read a few of those too. I was with you when you discovered them. I heard that one that Quat read. It's not that I don't understand that you have a libido, Duo."
Duo turned his head to gape at his roommate. He couldn't really think that Duo was gay??? Unable to say a word in reply, he managed a grunt.
Heero's lips quirked. 'Like a silver moon tipped flower, just waiting to be kissed,' Duo's mind created words for the picture and he shoved the pen back into his subconscious where it needed to be so it didn't fuck up his life.
"I'm not saying that you're interested in guys, Duo," because Heero could read his mind, of course. "I'm just saying that there's a pull to those stories. And I'm saying that you're an emotional person. I can understand is all. And you don't have to feel so afraid." He raised his head and looked over at Duo, his eyes black in the darkness. But even then, Duo could tell by the set of those broad shoulders, the angle of his head, that Heero's eyes were soft as they rarely could come to be, given the right reasons. It wasn't pity, he knew that. Heero didn't have it in him to pity anyone. It was sympathy. Or empathy. Or something like that. It was just, he didn't want Heero to look at him that way. As if he understood what even Duo couldn't understand. It wasn't fair to have a guy who was purported to be the emotionless one, know more than he, the emotional basket case, did about his own state of affairs.
Without a word to say, Duo shoved around inside of his mind for some quip to throw out, some joke to make light of the entire situation. Hands empty, he returns to the world outside without even a sound. He could only stare at his friend, knowing full well that every emotion he couldn't name or even be aware of, was flickering over his face. And wondering in some back corner of his mind, if this was it.
"So," Heero looked down and away with a soft smile radiating from his voice, "don't let Quat get at you. He actually didn't know that you hadn't told me. And he went a little too far, but you've done that plenty yourself."
"Yeah," Duo was surprised to hear his voice grind out haltingly, as if it were a rusted wheel being turned for the first time in a hundred years, "But it wasn't ever about something that made everyone think ill of him, or anybody."
"Oh?" And Duo could blush because he had in fact, made a grievous error a time or two and ended up having to beg for forgiveness from more than one of his friends. "Seems to me you've been quite a turkey a few times now."
Duo heard a laugh and while it had a hysterical edge to it, the rest of it sounded comfortable, comforting.
Heero stood, holding out his hand to his roomie and once Duo found it with his own, pulled Duo up to his feet and smiled in the sudden wash of light glancing off of his face. "So shall we go in and let him grovel some? I'm sure he's more than ready."
Duo could feel something lift from his spirit. Like a spinning wind, he was free. With a grin, he looped his arm over the shoulders of his best friend and grinned mischievously, "Hmm... not sure how long it'll be before I forgive him.." and Heero laughed to hear the revenge hinting in that voice. Duo was sure to milk everything he could get from the encounter and Quat would not walk away unscathed.
Just to make sure though, that all was truly well, Heero snuck his arm around Duo's shoulders from under his friend's arm and with a low chuckle, added, "We'll make him squirm, I'm sure." And he was rewarded by an instant mega-watt smile from Duo of gratitude. Because they were in this together.
- Owari -
((Okay! And that was completely and utterly inspired by the SF-Boiz. Earth Gurl, this is what I get for writing a fic while doing SF at the same time. Hee hee))
