AN- The last part of the last chapter was very rushed, and it shows. I apologize, and I'll try and go back and clean it up later.

I'm considering changing the genre of this story to maybe drama/parody, cause it kinda stopped being overly humorous… I dunno.


Agnes and the Elves

Chapter 10 – Feasting

Agnes spent five minutes after Gimli left her to freshen up. She splashed some water on her face and combed her long dark hair. Agnes had nice hair, people complimented her on it all the time. Sometimes Agnes wished that she could trade in her hair for a thinner body.

You and me both. Perdita commented.

No asked you to listen in.

Whatever.

Agnes quickly braided her hair. As soon as she finished she heard a tapping at her door. She walked over and opened it, but instead of Gimli waiting for her as she was expecting, an elvish woman Agnes had not met inclined her head politely and said something.

Don't they know by now that I have no idea what they're saying? Agnes sighed, and shrugged her shoulders at the woman.

The woman just smiled at Agnes, and motioned for Agnes to follow her. Agnes hesitated for a moment, and then followed the woman. I guess Gimli is busy with something… I hope I'm sitting next to him or his father at this feast. I would hate to have no one to talk to.


Gimli had been waylaid by Gandalf on his way to fetch Agnes from her room. "Gandalf," said Gimli, turning around and falling into step with Gandalf. "What do you wish to speak with me about?" Gimli made a quick mental bet with himself over what the Grey Wizard wished to speak with him about.

"The girl, Agnes," Gandalf began.

I win. Thought Gimli smugly.

"You spent most of the day with her, correct?"

Gimli nodded. "That I did."

"What do you think of her? Does she seem trustworthy?" If Gimli didn't know any better, he would have thought that Gandalf looked anxious, or at least slightly worried. And if Gandalf was worried about something, that usually meant that a sane dwarf should start running in the other direction… to get his ax and deal with the problem. (What, you thought a dwarf would run away from trouble? Silly person.)

Gimli chose his words carefully. "She seemed… nice. If she can really make dwarf bread like she claims, I will call her trustworthy."

Gandalf's lips twitched and his eyes shone with mirth that momentarily banished his worry. "She knows how to make dwarf bread? I didn't know that any Men even knew about it."

Gimli shrugged, refusing to get riled by Gandalf's jab. "Her world is different from ours. It was enough of a surprise that she even knows dwarvish." He commented.

Gandalf nodded, solemn once again. "Yes, it was quite the surprise. But what did you think of Agnes… if we asked her for help, do you believe she could be moved to aid us?"

Gimli stopped walking and stared at Gandalf. "I supposed so…" he said slowly, "Asked her for what sort of help?" he asked curiously.

Gandalf motioned for Gimli to continue walking irritably. "It is not yet time for that particular question to be discussed." With that cryptic statement, they arrived at the Great Hall. Gandalf nodded to Gimli and made his way to the high table.

Gimli looked around and noticed Agnes already seated at one of the tables farthest from the high table. He sat down next to her (he had been asked by both Gandalf and Lord Elrond to act as friend, guide, and translator for her) with an approving nod. Guest she may be, and she certainly seemed to have only peaceful intent, but she was a stranger to this world and their customs. Best to keep her in the back where she would be less likely to be uncomfortable surrounded by strangers she couldn't communicate with.


Agnes gave Gimli a grateful smile as he sat down next to her. He elven guide, and the elves around her, we all nice enough, but it was maddening to hear them talking pleasantly around her when she had no idea what was going on. She noticed that when Gimli was seated the others at their table all switched from the fluid speech they had been using to something different.

I guess the first is their language, and the second is a common language like Morporkian. Agnes thought.

Gimli exchanged greetings and pleasantries with the elves seated at their table, but it didn't seem like he actually knew more than one or two of them. Agnes just sat quietly and smiled when someone looked in her direction until Gimli turned back to her.

"We are waiting for everyone at the high table to be seated, and then the feast will begin." Gimli told her quietly, noticing that she had been eying the food laid out before them. He pointed to the high table and began naming the people already seated. Agnes nodded mutely and wondered if she would remember any of the names.

"… and next to my father is one of the young hobbits, sitting on a pile of cushions, I think his name is Frodo. He's the nephew of one of my father's companions when he went on his great adventure." Gimli sighed. "Orcs crowd all borders, killing wherever they may, and I must sit here and wait. It is intolerable."

"Why must you wait? What are Orcs?" Agnes asked.

Gimli ignored the first question. "Orcs are foul creatures; they are bred in filth and know only hate at greed. They serve the Lord of the Dark Tower." Gimli worked his mouth as if he wanted to spit, then looked around and decided against it.

Agnes was desperately curious about this dark lord, but at that moment lord Elrond was seated at the high table and the clatter of dishes as they were passed and the chatter of the elves made it impossible for Agnes to ask her question.

After the initial activity, Agnes ate the excellent food quietly and watched the high table. Elrond was seated at the end, dressed much the same as he had been the day before and still crowned in a silver circlet. Glorfindel and Gandalf sat on either side of him, Gandalf looking particularly old and worn in comparison to Glorfindel's smooth face and blond hair.

Somewhere near the other end of the table sat Glóin, bedecked in gold and many fine jewels, and Frodo, who Agnes now recognized as the sick 'child' she had seen during her our of body experience. He looked much healthier now, but his face was drawn. Agnes wondered what sort of illness he had been suffering from.

In the middle of the table, talking animatedly with the elves on either side was a woman of astounding beauty. Agnes felt Perdita sigh in admiration, and she had to agree. She noticed that the woman bore a striking resemblance to Elrond, and mentioned this to Gimli.

"She is lord Elrond's daughter, called Arwen Undomiel." The fluid syllables of her name fell slightly awkwardly off Gimli's tongue.

"So he is married? Why is his wife not seated at the high table with them?" Agnes asked.

"Lord Elrond's wife left Middle-Earth some time ago." Gimli said.

"Oh," Agnes said belatedly, "I'm sorry."

Gimli shrugged, "I did not know her."

"Oh." They both sat quietly for awhile eating, until Agnes remembered her unanswered question. "Gimli, who is the Lord of the Dark Tower? And why is he so evil?" It was odd to Agnes that Gimli spoke of this lord with such dread, when did dwarves ever fear anything?

Gimli looked nonplussed for a moment, then remembered Agnes' strangeness. He lowered his voice so much that Agnes had to lean closer to hear him. "He is Sauron. Thousands of years ago he tried to dominate the world and extinguish the races of Elves and Dwarves, and the noble Men of this world. He was defeated, but his spirit lingers on, and it is said by the wise that he is come again."

"Agnes," said a voice behind them. They looked up, it was Gandalf.

"Yes?" she said slowly, unnerved by what she had just been told and by Gandalf's sudden appearance.

"I need you to come with me."

Agnes rose slowly, Gimli a half a beat behind her, but Gandalf shook his head. "No Gimli, stay and enjoy the feast, I must discuss this matter with Agnes privately."

Gimli sat back, looking disgruntled. "Very well, I shall." He looked over and addressed Agnes, "Don't forget lass, you promised to bake me dwarf bread."

Agnes smiled at him, "And I will." Then she hurried out of the hall after Gandalf.