((Blech. I really don't think I'll ever do something like this again. [L] The Review part is important but it's drudgery. Luckily this is the last one needed. Woo hoo!
Warnings: Yaoi. Don't know what it is, don't read it. Enuff said.
Disclaimer: Don't own them. Not even Wufei, who I wish I did.
Anissa: Yes ma'am. I would love to read your stuff. And I understand about not wanting to put it up. Heck, it's taken me years to get to where I don't mind so much having it out in the open. I am, however, positive that your writing would be marvelous and I would love to see what kinds of ideas you have to put down! Thank you so much for your constant support. It sure helps keep the writing flames alive. I hope I can manage to at least keep up a half way decent connection to the characters and help them remain enjoyable.
Akenna: Thank you! I shall! We're almost done too!
Wolfkun: By Quat did you mean Heero? Or did ya mean Quat? Heh heh. I think that most of the other pilots (but mostly Quat and Heero) know far more about Duo than Duo does. He seems to be a pretty instinctual person and so I doubt he's as aware of his own thoughts, feelings, and motivations as they are. So yeah! [S] Either way, yeah!
On with the show! ))
Review Process; Part Two
Howard's Boi 05:13 EMT 11/20 Review for Hiro's Lacking Soul Chapter Review, chap. 84
Kittin: Well, I've not heard from you for a few days, I'm assuming you're reading all those fics you feel you have to. I'm going to use this time to read yours now.
Howard's Boi 06:25 EMT 11/20 Review for Joyous Parade
Ahhh... I'm not sure what I think of this one and I respect you too much to lie. I didn't like this one. I am not partial to the 03x04 pairing. I'm sure I'm not liked much for that of course. But I tend to lean more toward the 03x05 pairing. Quatre never seemed like a gay man to me when I've seen him on the television and anywhere else. He seems femme at the outset, but I just can't see him choosing to be with Trowa Barton. I see him more of a lady's man.
Howard's Boi 07:03 EMT 11/20 Review for Osiris and the Banker
I'm really enjoying that your fics are short and easy to read. That is a compliment, btw. And I have always loved the titles you give your fictions as well. The "Pink Pajama Party" and "8 Tin Cans" though I really love the name of "Crocodile Circuit Breaker."
As for this fiction. Now that I'm not revolting against the pairing (I do have a soft spot for 01x02 fics for obvious Duo based reasons) I can enjoy the fiction. This one had a very nice plot. I felt badly for Duo. I always do in your fictions. You do realize you often give him a bad ending? How about something happy? What would he do if he actually got his man? Not just got him into bed, but if Hiro fell in love with him. As much as I feel jealous of Hiro getting his Duo, I feel even worse for your Duos never being loved truly.
SxyKtn 00:32 EMT 11/26 Reply Column for Joyous Parade
Howdy Howe! Hee hee. You respect me, eh? Shit, that makes one person! I don't think I mind being respected. (You wanna tell my friends that now? They think I'm a crazy baka. You can stomp in, in your high heels (or your lumberjack shoes) and glower at them all and tell them that I'm someone who deserves respect darn it! I'll bet they'd listen to you.) And yeah. I'm not too hot on the3X4 stuff m'self. Or 4x3 either. I never could tell the difference. And I've been doing some serious 3x5s cause I just like those two t'gether. I know most people don't.
heh heh. I'll bet if Quatre Winner ever comes on here (don't we all like dream about that?) that he'd appreciate that comment of yours about his not being gay. Cause I'll bet that most of the guys are straight as arrows. (Can I dream that one or two might be acting out our fantasies, please?)
SxyKtn 00:45 EMT 11/26 Reply Column for Osiris and the Banker
Howe: Holy... dunno if I should take that as a compliment, but I will, cause it's you giving it. (Anyone else I'd lay into! Heehee) You know? It's maybe just me. I don't think Duo is ever gonna really get his man. I mean, Hiro is a cold, passionate bastard in the end. And I don't know that a guy like that can love him the way he wants so badly to be loved, kay? But I'll try one where he gets what he wants one day. I promise. Just for you. Until then, I'm sorry. I know you've got a soft spot for Duo. And I know that I sure like how your endings are and I wish I could write one like that! Guess I'm just a sucker for angst. Well, that or I just don't believe in the reality of the love stuff. (Yeah, yeah.. I know that Wuffie and Tro always get together. My bad. - call me a hypocrite.)
SxyKtn 01:26 EMT 11/26 Review for A Moment's Time
Okay, so like, Happy Thanksgiving love of my writing life! I had a shitty time, how about you? My friends know (that's the disrespect stuff from before) about my writing and my best friend (and roommate, damn am I a sucker for punishment or what?) thinks I'm a person who needs to get my desires out. And that this... aaargh! That or he thinks I'm gay. Of course, he didn't pound me. SO that's good. But it still sucks the big one and so I'm reading and shit now. See? Screw him and his opinions, right? I got you. [mega watt shimmer shine beam smile] I like this. I like the way you used time and how you broke everything up by thirty minute increments. I'll bet when yer in war (even if it's a heart war, as you call it) that things do go like that. Every half minute feeling like an eternity.
SxyKtn 03:54 EMT 11/26 Review for Gotcha!
I thought at first that this was gonna be stupid (I'm sorry! I didn't trust you!) Just the idea of doing it based on a game. I'm not much of a game person. Never did it much as a kid cause I had other stuff to do instead. But, I liked how you started out goofy and then settled it slowly into the game pattern. I had to look up the game to find out how it all tied in. But even the rules! It was really cool.
SxyKtn 04:12 EMT 11/26 Review for Quickie
Hee hee. I should be in bed, but this one was so short I could read it and go to bed still. Cute! So cute, yeah. So yeah, how bout you? Do you like quickies? I always thought of you as a less violent, more languid person when it comes to this stuff. I liked this side of the imaginary Hiro. Heh. Could you imagine if he actually did this??? How funny would that be? NIGHT! Gonna keep catching up. Oh, and I wasn't reading but I am now. We had tests and one of my classes was kicking my butt. My roomie is like a study hog too.
Howard's Boi 05:15 EMT 11/26 Reply Column for A Moment's Time
Best of holidays to you as well, Kittin! I'm sorry it was such a bad time. No one knows about my writing, but I think that after being surprised (and maybe teasing me some, especially one of my friends who has a talent in teasing) I'd be left alone. I hope that your friends do the same for you. And I wouldn't let your best friend bother you that much. Best friends have a way of caring about us no matter what we do. I'm sure that he will get over his speculations. Have you thought about asking him? Secrets don't help anyone (I should know).
Howard's Boi 05:23 EMT 11/26 Reply Column for Gotcha!
Kittin: You've never played it? There are so many games I enjoy. Though I rarely play them anymore. I used to play all the time with my uncle. He was trying to teach me math skills and other things he thought I'd need to know. Maybe we could get onto one of the online game sites and I could teach you a few?
Howard's Boi 05:38 EMT 11/26 Reply Column for Quickie
Kittin: I do like quickies. I have to admit I can't help it. Though the brain freeze is a good reason to do it only once in a while. I'm also glad you enjoyed this side of him. I know that you think of him as a cold type character. But I think there is more to him. Actually, that may be unfair. I've noticed you show a lot of insight into your Hiro and that he's very deep. I just am confused as to why he and Duo can't be happy in your fictions. I guess that's what I get for reading an author who seems to like Duo-angst. It breaks my heart though, because I think of him as a marvelous person and wish he could get his dream just once.
Howard's Boi 06:54 EMT 11/26 Review for Jalepenos and Jalopies
This one was short, sweet, and I liked it. Were you working on this during the testing break you had to take? Christmas is coming up. I'm going to spend it with some family. I hope yours is good. My writing will go down because I'll be busy trying to get gifts ready and help with the plans. I'm sure you'll be doing the same. How did the talk go with your roommate?
SxyKtn 01:25 EMT 11/27 Reply Column for Jalepenos and Jalopies
Howe: I had forgotten about talking to my roomie until I read your note. So I just did. It didn't work. But I'm not mad at him anymore. I get overly emotional about stuff and I musta been all tired and stuff that night, because he's really got some good opinions and I think he's a great guy. He's also like family cause we've known one another for forever and I've lived with him for forever too. (No, he's not gay either.) So I get a bit cranky and chew him out in my head now and again. And besides, it wasn't him I was mad at, but my other best friend who had told everyone. But I had hurt his feelings that night (getting him back - damn I'm a mean ass sometimes) and so I couldn't chew him out or I'd have looked even more like an ass. So I took it out on m'buddy instead. Anyway, my roomie (I've decided) is a worm, in a good way. And I am gonna keep him around until he gets married and kicks me out into the cold [sniff] and alone world. Maybe I can come live with you then?
Oh yeah. Christmas. I'm not very big on it. But one of my friends is, so we're gonna have it at his house. (Don't got no family.) I think. I should find out who's house we're gonna have it at! It might be our year! Dammit. That would mean I've got ALL kinds of stuff to do!!!! Thanks for asking! You may have saved my bacon. (Weird to have a Christmas in a dorm though. Maybe I can get my friend to have it at his house instead.)
Howard's Boi 05:17 EMT 11/27 Review for Jalepenos and Jalopies
Wow. There was a lot there. Let me see if I can get this straight. You don't want me to hate your roommate for acting like a jerk (because he hadn't) and your anger was misplaced. I think I can accept that. And I feel like there is a lot more to this story that I may never hear. Yet I'm sure you didn't act like an ass. I can tell from your writing that you're a very energetic man and I'm sure that gets you into trouble often. But like I've said before, if your friends care for you as they must, then I'm sure that they also understand and accept your energy and your mistakes, just as you seem to accept theirs. (I am, of course, talking of the fact that your best friend hurt your feelings and you are obviously not hating your other best friend even though he was the one you were really mad at. Instead, you are taking it upon yourself to feel badly for retaliating. I can't see you being cruel. Maybe your friend is just sensitive? I'm sure the two of you will make up soon. I'd bet you don't have a single friend who can stay mad at you for long.)
SxyKtn 23:35 EMT 11/30 Reply Column for Japepenos and Jalopies
Howe: You are so cool. You sure I can't marry you? Or move in when my roomie kicks me out? And I do have the greatest friends in the world. They put up with me all the time. It's awesome. Just love those guys. And some say I am energetic.. that's such a sweet way to say it. Most of them just say "Settle down!, sit down, shut up.. "you know, that kinda stuff. Still, they're cool and I don't let it bother me most times. Just going through a tough time right now and it's making it hard on m'friends and me. Mostly me. You done this writing and find that you look at people differently afterwards? Like.. I keep wondering if you were a guy, what it would be like. That's sick. I should erase it but I'm not, cause this is the internet and I don't have to worry about people going up to me on the street and saying "Hey! You're the guy who's wondering if he's interested in guys!" Ha ha! Anyway. Not much writing from either of us. Maybe we should email one another? That might work? And my friends not being mad at me for long? Ha! You've not met my roomie. I swear he's not forgiven me for things I did when I was fifteen!
Howard's Boi 06:32 EMT 12/02 Review for Butter Me Up
I am a bit uncertain about giving out my email. How about you allow me to think it over first? I like the fact that this server is connected at various points and the way hackers are these days, I'm afraid of letting anyone have too much to go on when it comes to me. I prefer my privacy. I hope you don't mind? I promise to think about the email correspondence and this is not a "no" but a "maybe."
I guess I can't say anything about gender issues. I've always known which gender I'm attracted to. Well, as soon as I realized I was attracted, that is. I was a bit of a late bloomer, you might say. And obviously, since I like Duo, you can tell that it's men. Specifically Duo and my friend who doesn't care about me that way. I suppose that is pathetic. But as far as your questioning goes. I hope it all turns out well, any way you look at it. I've always just supposed that love is love is love, you know?
Okay, for this fic. I can tell you tried to give Duo a happy ending. I like it. I think though, that you forced the ending. Duo doesn't seem like he's ready to accept that he is gay. (Umm, would you hate me if I said that it sounds like this is imitating your life? Much like my writing is working out my own stuff?) If it IS a struggle for you then how about just letting your writing reflect that? Don't give Duo his happy ending until you are sure you can. No need to make him jump Hiro. Until then, keep to 03x05, because you don't seem to have anything against their happy endings. I like those. And I'll just accept that I'm going to read Duo-angst when I read your fics.
And, about your roommate. That is sad that he's remained angry at you for so long. I suppose he is one of those old friends that while you're not particularly close to, you have to remain in touch because you've known one another so long? I have a friend like that. We're not close, but I care about him like I do all the rest of my friends. I just don't want to sit down and spend a whole lot of time with him. But then, he doesn't mind because he's got a significant other and they're busy most of the time.
SxyKtn 21:35 EMT 12/05 Review for The Collector [see footnote]
Haaaawwwwwwwt! Psssssshhhhh! Oh my gosh. I think I'd swoon if someone told me that stuff about wanting to be loved and all that. Damn, it'd be nice to be loved like that.
I was sick too. Not as bad as Duo, but still pretty miserable. Still am a bit, but not too bad. My roomie and my other friend were really good to me. Took care of me and all. Though my roommate is scared to death of sickness. He's always been good to me? He just sorta gives me a glass of water and runs for the door after. Doesn't like being around me when I'm sick. It's kinda weird, cause he's okay with our other friends. It's just me he doesn't like being around. I think it's cause I'm a miserable sick person. (Kinda like being a miserable drunk, only I rarely if ever get drunk so I don't think he's gotten tired of me like that yet).
So yeah. Show this to your "Duo" and see if he goes for ya. Hell, I would! I mean, someone says that stuff to me and I'd faint!
SxyKtn 22:03 EMT 12/05 Reply Column for Butter Me Up
I keep saying awful stuff about my roomie. He is one of those old friends and I don't know that he thinks of me as his best friend. But I think of him as mine. And it doesn't bother me that he still holds a grudge. Because he'd die for me and that's all. I just accept that I'm not on the top of his list, yano? (Oh, and he's the one I'm having trouble figuring out. I keep... like... I dunno. Scary shit. Just looking at him. Does that mean I'm gay? Hell if I know.) Anyway, he's really controlled and he's private and most people don't know him at all. But I do. I mean, I can read him when no one else can. And he's got the most expressive eyes you've ever seen, when he's not going to kill you, that is. I don't have any friends like you do, where I'm not close to them? All my friends are like family and I love em all.
About the email. Don't sweat it, sweet thing. Kay? I don't care. I don't have anything to hide from the world here so I can talk about whatever you want to talk about, if you don't mind the comments we might get now and again. Believe me. I understand what you mean about hackers. I've known a few myself personally and they're pretty swift guys. And they probably could find out a lot about you from a simple email and all. So no worries.
Gender issues. You say it so nicely. I have been calling it "mucked up" myself. And yeah. I guess I've been not letting Duo have a happy ending because I'm not sure about mine. I mean, heck, I'm not even sure WHAT ending I want in the first place!
You are so NOT pathetic! I lurrrve you and I don't think you are! You can tell him that I said so. And that he should jump you and keep you forever. Cause he's an idiot for being into someone else and not you. Heck, maybe I'll be commiserating soon with you. Because if I AM interested in guys, then I'm up a huge messy and stinky creek with no paddle in sight. My friends will be weird after that and I'd bet my roomie would think I was always trying to hit on him. (Which I might, if I figured out that he was more than just a muse for my writings.) So keep hoping, kay? That person will come along! They have to! And I'm still sick, so I'm going to bed.
Howard's Boi 07:32 EMT 12/06 Review for Butter Me Up
You sure do write a lot! I think if I had a conversation with you, I'd be on the short end of the talking stick. I feel somewhat boring compared to all your colloquialisms. But you don't seem too bored by me, so I think that is a good thing. I think that if you like someone, they must be amazing. And I think the way you look at your friends is amazing. How you care about them all. I can't be that way. But then, I'm guessing you have a lot of friends and a few really close ones (I'm judging by the way you talk about them) and I have only a few friends total. I know what you mean about friends being like family, as well.
I think I will not give you my email just yet? Maybe later? Thank you for understanding.
I'm sure you'll figure out what ending you're searching for. I hope it is the happy one we're all hoping for.
And thank you. For not thinking I'm pathetic. I still wonder about myself and my inability to choose someone who might actually love me back. But I'm working on that.
Howard's Boi 07:45 EMT 12/06 Reply Column for The Collector
I'm glad you enjoyed it. It is what I wish I could say to him. I'm sure your being sick and him leaving is not you. I'd bet it's him with the problem. Don't take it personally.
SxyKtn 02:09 EMT 12/10 Review for Holidays, Holidays
Whew. I like that one! It's sweet. You're really getting sweet in your old age, honey! Your Hiro is getting more obvious and he's saying some seriously nice stuff. This time he actually almost said stuff out loud. You getting close to doing something stupid? Please don't! I don't wanna see you get hurt!
I do write a lot. Hope it doesn't scare you off! I talk a lot too, IRL. And you're not boring at all. I think you're sweet and nice and wonderful and I wanna take you into the back room and try out some of your ideas but I also just wanna get to know you and tell that Duo-guy of yours to get his head out of his ass and notice you. And you are so nice to me. Yeah.. I've got lots of acquaintances. But I have less friends than the fingers on my left hand. The rest of them come and go, but my friends (my posse.. m'fam) has been around with me since I was a teenager. We're inseparable. It's pretty cool.
Howard's Boi 05:16 EMT 12/12 Reply Column for Holidays, Holidays
Kittin: Thank you. I always enjoy your reviews and I don't mind all that you have to say. I am not much of an acquaintance type of person. It makes it hard to make new friends. I'm just slow on that. Takes a while for me to let someone in. That's my shyness coming out I guess.
And I am boring IRL. I don't talk much then either. Thank you though, for all the nice things you have said. I hope I continue to deserve such comments. I'm glad you have friends like that. They're very important.
SxyKtn 03:12 EMT 12/13 Private Review to Howard's Boi; Holidays, Holidays
Hey Howe? I'm sorry but I can't do this in public. I'm hoping that this thingie works. I just found it the other day and I was thinking of asking if you wanted to try it out. And now I'm thanking heavens that I've got it.
Anyway. My life is over. I'm dead. And I'm going to write some shit but first I had to tell you, cause I'm scared shitless. I kissed him. Can you believe that? Shit.. I'm such an idiot! And I don't even know why. Just I knew that I could trust him with everything and next thing I know, I'm kissing him. Only for a second and it scared me SO much, Howe! I wish you were here, cause I could talk to you about this. But if you were here, then we'd not be having that kind of conversation. Because the main reason I can even tell you shit is cause you're on here and in a way, you're not real. Please don't let that bother you. It's just the truth. And I... am not sure if I want this or not. I can't believe I did it! It just happened! But I have to be honest and say that my fictions haven't helped much. I think I'm gonna do some solo Duo stuff and let him think about what I'm going through, and leave the Hiro stuff to the side.
I wish I had your head for things. I'm screwing this up so badly. My roomie's asleep. Bastard can sleep through anything. Even after being kissed by his best .. well, his friend. He didn't hurt me. But I think he might tell me we have to split up t'mrorow. Listen to me!!!! I sound like we're dating or something crazy and I don't even know if I'm going for him because of the stupid stories or because of him! I mean, I've known him for almost ten years and I haven't felt like this before.
So there you have it. I'm shaking and I feel sick and I kissed my best friend and I think things are never gonna be the same again. I think I'll go cry, but I don't cry except when I'm sick. Maybe I am sick! Man - this is so confusing. Love sucks. If it IS love, that is. I mean...
Can we talk somehow? Like on a chat thingie? Or ... or email or.. something? I'm dying to talk to someone but I can't tell my other friends because they'd flip. They're already having a tough time and thinking that maybe I'm bi or something. I thought I was straight! I mean, I've never been so big on girls, but I was so busy as a kid, I didn't have much chance to decide. I'm fucked up. Please... can we talk?
Howard's Boi 05:18 EMT 12/15 Review for Convoluted Dreaming
I'm answering this one first. You are really having a tough time, Kittin. Please hang in there. I'm sure there is an answer soon!
Howard's Boi 03:12 EMT 12/15 Private Reply Column to SxyKtn; Holidays, Holidays
Dearest Kittin:
Oh my goodness. It sounds like something has really happened in your life. I have read the two fics you did off of that moment and I can tell you're still very confused. I'm not sure if you'll be reading anything soon. I know how when life turns upside down for me, I stay away from work and writing online and do most of my writing in solitude and keep them to myself. Some of my fictions have come from those writings, but they are not the writings themselves.
I am sorry it's taken me so long to write to you. I wish I had been there too. I don't know if I could have helped (I may have made it worse) but I wish in some way, that I could have helped make that moment easier for you. How frightening for you!
I cannot think that you'll mess things up. It's been a few days and I'll wait to hear how things have gone before we start to talk about getting in closer contact. Please let me know as soon as you can, what has been going on and how you are doing!
Your internet friend,
Howard's Boi
SxyKtn 03:12 EMT 12/17 Private Review to Howard's Boi; Holidays, Holidays
Dear Internet Friend,
Howe! You are so awesome. Did I tell you I loved you yet? Yeah, it was pretty damn traumatic. But we're back to the status quo. Only it's better now. I still don't know what I think about him. He woke up after I was just finishing up Convoluted Dreaming and he asked if he could read my stuff. I showed him some of my favorite stuff of yours too. I dunno why, but it made everything good. It sort of put my writing where it needs to be and let me be me outside of it. Does that make any sense? Anyway.. it's all cool. Sorry for freaking out on you like that and I love you for being all wise. Don't worry about not writing so soon after I flipped. I mean, this is the internet. It's not like I called you up and wanted to cry on your shoulder (though I was damn close! lol)
So, I'm gonna keep to this. Please don't say anything in public about it? I have a friend on here and he writes stuff too. I don't want him knowing I fubbed so bad.
Christmas is coming up and we are having it at my friend's house. Though because I was in charge, me and the roomie are working on getting everything together. My friend was gonna pay for it and wanted this big ol thing. But I talked them into letting me and my roomie (the poor ones in our group) work it out all on our own. We will just use a bigger space, since his house is larger than ours. So I'm really busy and stuff. And so is the roomie. But he's been a cool friend. He's sort of stopped time the last few days and we've just hung out. You know how it is. Drinking beer down at the river and playing poker for matchsticks (I beat his butt SO bad!) and going to dinner and stuff. It's like he knows that I'm messed up and he doesn't wanna let me be alone. See what I mean about him? Damn, no wonder I'm having a tough time figuring out what I think about him. I think I'm gonna ask him if he wants to go on a hike with me and get us out of the city. Weird, but doing that, messing up like that? It seems to have made things better between us. I haven't talked to him about it yet. But I don't know that I want to. I kinda want to get it worked out first before I say anything. See, he had a talk with me before about how we've got these trust issues. And how it's hard to find anyone I'd feel safe enough to commit myself to. And how maybe if I found someone like that, I wouldn't care about their gender.
See, that's all cool? And I could see him and me together, which scares me like nothing ever has? But it's not just that. He's straight and he's being all nice and stuff, but even if it was him that I ended up liking, he'd not look at me twice or think of me that way. Ha ha! Look at that! I'm falling in love with a straight guy when I was supposed to be straight. Or maybe I still am and it's just him and because it's so hard to find anyone else and because he's like my other half. All I know is that I need him to keep me straight on the path (no pun intended) and he doesn't need me because he's got all of his shit together. But he still sticks around and takes care of me. So yeah. Maybe I'm not a best friend to him, but I sure feel like his little bro somehow. He's just watching out for me.
Okay. No more fics. Not now. Not until I know what's the thing I'm gonna do. But I can write to you like this? Is that okay? And I promise to read your fics as soon as my head is straightened out, either way.
Your Kittin
Howard's Boi 11:38 EMT 12/20 Private Reply Column to SxyKtn; Holidays, Holidays
Kittin;
That is fine. Things have gotten very busy here. I have to run and be with my family in an hour so I won't write to you until after Christmas. And since you'll be going too, maybe you won't read this until after Christmas. But in case you do, let me make it quick but respond anyway.
[s] No, you haven't told me you loved me yet. Thank you. It's nice to be cared for. I'm glad that your roomie seems to have figured out what you needed most and didn't leave you. You really must be a pretty amazing person to have a friend who will stick with you through whatever. But I have a question. If he didn't freak out and he hasn't left.. and it sounds almost like he's ... wooing you? Have you thought of that? It's just a thought. I don't know him so I can't say. And I'm sorry if I'm giving the wrong idea. I just have to wonder with everything that you've told me. Think about it? Just in case? Has he stopped hanging out with you? If you were a girl and he was straight, I'd say he was trying to see if he'd get a chance to date you, considering what you've said. I feel I'm pushing this idea and I'm not sure, but I feel almost certain that there is more to this and that if you wanted to, you could fall in love safely. It seems only right that at least one of us gets what we dream of, doesn't it?
Writing like this is just fine, if you want to continue? Of course. : )
Howard's Boi
SxyKtn 10:15 EMT 12/22 Private Review to Howard's Boi; Holidays, Holidays
Hey Howe! You meanie head! Heh heh.
Thanks. I'm at the party place. We're getting it ready so I can kinda have privacy and get on anywhere. I'm using my roomie's laptop. He's acting really nice about it which is cool. He'd never have let me use it before. He was really scary about that. But he knows I wanted to write to you (I've told him about you) and he knows that you're kinda helping me get my head straight. Or not! Damn you! You're not making this easy! I was hoping you'd say "Yes, Kittin. You're straight and it's just the fictions that are making you act like this and think like this." But instead you're like "Hmmm... what if HE likes YOU?" You know how crazy that's making me? He and I went getting popcorn and cranberries and some cheap plastic trick stuff to put on the tree yesterday and we went to lunch after and I was thinking the whole time, "Is this a date? Is this a date? Is this a date?" He's taking time off from work and it's for our friends and stuff, cause they're kinda like the only family the two of us have. And so he's around all the time. We used to spend time together all the time when we had time. So it's just him doing more of the same thing and I have to keep that in my head. But dammit. He held open the door and I was wondering if he'd ever done that before. And he touched my back when we went to the movies that night and I couldn't help but wonder if he's done that before. See, I never cared and I never really noticed so I can't compare it to anything. So you're evil again! And I love you.. but you're evil! I still haven't talked to him about it. I'm scared to. Because I'm scared that I'll just burst out and tell him I'm in love with him and he'll kick my ass. And he could too!
So I'll never speak to you again! And I hope your Christmas is full of perfection and love and that your family is wonderful all around you. We've got two days left. I'm going to go and get him something special.
Kittin
Howard's Boi 13:54 EMT 12/22 Private Reply Column to SxyKtn; Holidays, Holidays
Dearest Kittin:
Well, so long as you talk to me after Christmas is over, I don't mind. Yes, I expect Christmas will be something that will be special. I'm looking forward to it. And I do hope you say something to him! I hate to say this, Kittin. But at least as far as this friend of yours is concerned, I think you may very well be gay. Like you said, you never really were given a chance to decide. And maybe you were just going off of what you thought was normal. If you really were too busy to notice when you were a teen (and many of us were because of the war and just trying to survive, especially if you were colony born) then maybe you just missed the chance to notice that you were really into men? Or maybe that you were into both?
I'm rushing this so I'm sorry if it seems sporadic. Will you please go back and read the last two you wrote? About him and what you two have been doing? And then you can tell me if I'm right or wrong.
I have to go! Family is coming upstairs and I want to go with them to dinner.
Howe
SxyKtn 23:43 EMT 12/23 Private Review to Howard's Boi; Holidays, Holidays
Woo hoo! Almost midnight and I guess I AM talking to you, though I still think you're an evil, evil woman. (I've decided you're a woman. A man would never go around saying "He likes you! I know he does!") So Christmas Eve is coming up and I've got the coolest thing ever to give my friend. I hope he likes it. It's stupid, but it means a lot to me. And maybe it'll tell him what I think of him and his friendship and all that. And I'm NOT going to tell him that I love him. I'm going to wait and see if what you say is true. Cause if when work starts back up and he's back to being Mr. Monosyllable, then I'll know he doesn't care.
Not that I want him to talk all the time. I just... will have to keep an eye on him. He hasn't gone out of his way to get us alone or anything. And he's just as excited about all of this. So I think you might be wrong. And I hate you for making me think that he might like me like that. Because... well, just because.
You know something? The real Duo Maxwell is gay. I know he's said he isn't and people are all about his braid and stuff. But I've watched him and I know he is. And know what else? I think Trowa and Wufei are too. Because have you seen how they act around one another? I'm just waiting for them to come out with it and surprise all of those QuatreXTrowa fans out there. You and me, we'll be laughing behind our hats!
So what are the odds? Three gay men out of five. That leaves poor Quat and Heero to uphold the manly name (I'm sure not doing a good job of it myself). I'm not going to read the last two posts, because I know what I wrote and I know what happened. So there! Nyah on you! But I promise I'll still love you and I'll read your stuff as soon as I get back. For now, my roomie is coming and he said he has some work to do tonight so I don't have much time left. I'll be busy all day t'morrow and Christmas, cause we've got all kinds of stuff planned. See ya soon! Have a merry Christmas and all that sappy stuff!
Kittin
Howard's Boi 01:54 EMT 12/25 Private Reply Column to SxyKtn; Holidays, Holidays
Christmas Eve. Kittin. I hope Christmas is everything you've dreamed it to be and I hope you don't hate me for my cowardice. I am glad you've figured it out. But you've only figured out half of the equation. I am keeping the hope you gave me and I'm going to tell him. I'm going to tell him when I think he can listen and I am going to hope that somehow, this day after Christmas, will find us both happier than we ever thought to be. Wish me luck.
H.
((Footnote: See chapter 9; Howe's Submission. And for the record. I KNOW that that fiction is goofy. Heck, I'd never kiss anyone that sick, but for the purposes of being something completely imaginary and in their world, I let it get a bit strange and a bit off of what would normally be okay. Mainly because.. well, they're characters and if the fiction they were reading was too realistic, it'd ruin the rest of my fictional fiction.. yeah? Heh heh.
Thank heavens! Review is over. I sweated over this one so I'm sorry if it's not as good as the rest. I hope you can see the times it matches up with now and again, I tried to let stuff connect. If the muse continues, we have one or two chapters left. I think... maybe two. But it might merge into one. Oh we all know they'll end up happily ever after, right? Otherwise I'll have to toute m'self as an overly mean angst writer.))
