AN: High drama warning.

Head Over Heels

Five: The Parent Trap

He closed his eyes wearily, and sat back in the green vinyl chair, as exhaustion coursed through every inch of his body.  He leaned his heavy head back, and let out a deep sigh.

"You should sleep."

Chandler opened his eyes slowly, and forced a small smile.

"I thought you were sleeping already," he said softly.

"I was…dreaming," Caitlin whispered slowly, her breathing labored and shallow.

"About what?" Chandler asked, and sat forward in his chair, his elbows on his knees, his body screaming protest at the sudden movement.

"You…and Iz…I'm gonna miss her so much," Caitlin's voice cracked, and a stream of tears made their way down her pallid, emaciated face.

Chandler took Caitlin's hand, and closed his eyes, fighting off tears he swore he would not shed in front of her.

"She's…she's gonna miss you too," he whispered, a stubborn tear snaking his way down his unshaven cheek.

"I hate this," Caitlin sighed, "I hate that I will never see her grow up, never see her go to school, get married…have babies."

Chandler nodded silently, not sure what to tell her—not sure that she wanted his reply at all.

"I hate that I don't get to grow old with you," she sighed, her energy quickly draining, her breathing becoming increasingly ragged.

"I know," Chandler whispered, his own tears falling freely, "I don't know how to live without you either."

Caitlin looked up at her husband, her eyes shining.

"Chandler, you have to…you have to move on.  You should…for Iz…and for you.  You should…you need to."

"I can't," Chandler sobbed, shaking his head defiantly, like a child who refuses to heed his mother's words.

"You have to," Caitlin whispered weakly, and then fell into unconsciousness.

Chandler laid his head on her bed, her limp hand in his, and cried himself to a fitful sleep.

"Monica?" Rachel called, as she walked into her apartment.

"She's not here."

"Ross?  What's wrong?" Rachel circled the sofa, and sat down next to Ross' hunched form.  She laid a hand on his shoulder, and he jerked back, as though disgusted.  He stood up quickly, and crossed the room.

"I…saw you…with…with him," Ross spat, and Rachel flushed.

"Ross, nothing happened, okay?  He's just a…friend."

"Really?  N-nothing happened?  I could see it, Rachel…in your face.  You—you're attracted to him!"

"So?" Rachel stood up, her eyes flashing, "so what if I am?  It's not like I'm going to do anything about it!  Yeah, he's cute…but I have a boyfriend."

"Right," Ross snorted, and shook his head.

"Do you…do you not trust me?  Is that what this is?  You think I'm just going to jump into bed with the first cute guy that walks through the door?"

"No…maybe…I don't know!" Ross stammered, and began pacing the room like a caged animal, "all I know, is that this isn't the way this was supposed to be!"

"What isn't the way it's supposed to be?  What the hell are you talking about?"

"Us!  You and me.  We were supposed to be happy forever," Ross said meekly, tears springing from his eyes and a look of pure defeat lining his face.

"You…you had us all planned out.  Is that what you're saying?  Once you had me…it was supposed to be some kind of…what?  Storybook ending?  I'm not a prize, Ross.  You can't just—just plan your life, and throw me into it!  I have a life too, and I have my own plans!"

"D-do they include me?"

"I don't know!  I—I hope so, but Ross…I haven't thought that far ahead," Rachel replied gently.

"Maybe you have…just not with me.  Maybe you have with…Joshua," Ross spat, unsure why he had taken such a petty approach once again.

Rachel scowled at him, and her breathing increased, and Ross knew he had gone too far.

"Why do you do that?  This has nothing to do with Joshua!  This has to do with you, and your—your weird obsession with me!  Ya know what, I've had it.  I have had it with this!  And with you!"

"What?"

"We need a break Ross.  I need a break from you.  From us."

Ross looked back at Rachel like she had just punched him in the stomach.  He took a sharp breath, swallowed hard, and walked wordlessly out of the apartment.

Rachel took a deep, shaky breath and retreated to her bedroom, defeated and exhausted.

The Next Day

Monica pulled her mail out of the tiny brass mailbox, and flipped through it aimlessly as she ascended the steps to her apartment.  She felt her throat clench, when she realized that the mail was full of nothing but bills.  Phone bill, electric bill, credit card bill, student loans…

Was she ever going to be out of debt?

It didn't help that her latest job interview had gone particularly bad.  She shuddered, as she recalled the horribly creepy interviewer.

"Monica!  Just the person I wanted to see!" Monica looked up to see Phoebe standing in the hallway, her arms outstretched and her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"What's going on?" Monica smiled slightly, as Phoebe led Monica into Chandler's apartment.

Phoebe led her to the sofa, where Joey was already sitting, and equally mischievous grin lining his face.

"How was the interview?" Phoebe asked suddenly.

"Um…it was…horrible," Monica shrugged.

"Really?  Why?" Joey asked.

"Um…let's just say it'll be a while before I'm able to eat a salad again," Monica shuddered again, then furrowed her brow when she saw Phoebe and Joey were grinning wildly.

"Well, we're glad, because we found you a job!" Phoebe yelled, then clapped wildly.

"What?"

"Yeah!  Well, it's not a cooking job, but it's good money!"

"What is it?"

"Okay…you can be Izzy's nanny!" Phoebe exclaimed proudly, and Joey nodded excitedly beside her.

"What?  Why…I mean, doesn't she have a nanny?"

"That's the best part!  Her nanny is dead!"

"Phoebe, I—I don't think that's a good thing…I mean, a woman is dead!"

"Right, so it's perfect!  You could totally do it!!"

"I don't know," Monica bit her lip nervously, then arched her eyebrow, "does Chandler know about this?"

"Well…no, but he would so hire you!" Joey replied quickly.

"What?  Why?  I have no nanny-ing experience!"

"B-but you are good with Izzy…and you are right across the hall!"

"I don't—"

The door opened, and Chandler walked in, carrying Isabelle, who was whimpering softly.

"Chandler, what's wrong?  Is she okay?" Monica shot up and rushed toward them, while Joey and Phoebe looked at each other knowingly.

"Yeah, she's just mad because I won't let her bring home every stray cat in the city," Chandler laughed, and set down Isabelle, who continued to pout and rub her eyes.

"Oh," Monica sighed in relief, then stepped back nervously.

"So Chandler, found a new nanny yet?" Joey asked from his spot on the sofa.

"No, not yet.  The woman I wanted was already working for some other couple on the other side of the park.  I really want someone that lives close by, I think," Chandler scratched his head and moved to the kitchen to cook dinner.

"Yeah, and maybe someone that can cook so you don't have to feed Iz macaroni and cheese every night," Phoebe added and winked at Monica.  Monica felt her face flush, and decided to study the floor.

"Hey, I can make other stuff!  Tonight, we're having…spaghetti," Chandler finished sheepishly.

"So, what you need is someone who cares about Isabelle, who is close by, and can cook…my, where will you find such a person?" Phoebe asked dramatically, as she moved next to Monica.

Chandler looked at Phoebe crossly, then looked over at Monica, who was deeply engrossed in his floorboards.  He looked back at Phoebe, and suddenly realized the trap he'd fallen into.  Sighing, he put down the saucepan he'd been holding, and walked toward Monica and Phoebe.

"Funny, that description seems to fit Monica to a tee," Chandler said flatly.

"Yep!" Phoebe grinned, and pushed Monica forward slightly.

Monica continued to stare at the ground, hoping that it would eventually open up and swallow her.

"Chandler, meet your new nanny!"

AN: Of course a few (all) of you saw that coming…but come on, it's a silly little story…not a whole lot of surprises in this one…yet.