Disclaimer: We still don't own GB or its cast. Oh yeah, and damn the idiot who decided to dub Animax!
Authors' Note: This has gotta be our longest update (and longest chapter)!
It was a dark, cold, and stormy night.
And…it wasn't Ginji's fault.
It was normal. A natural storm, caused by a low pressure area passing over Shinjuku.
But in the shadows of the Subaru…something was stirring…it picked up several cylindrical objects, and began to set to work…
Rrrring. Rrrring.
Groggily, Ginji answered the phone and said, "Hello?"
"Where can I find Get Backers?" a male voice said in marginally good Japanese.
"That's us!" Ginji said brightly. "How may we help you?"
"You see, I'm losing my portfolio…"
Ginji was making arrangements with this new client (place of meeting, price, object to be retrieved, etc.) when he heard Ban's acidic, half-asleep remark, "What the hell happened to you?"
"Excuse me a minute…What, Ban-chan?" Ginji turned and stared at his partner's colorful face.
…Colorful?
"What happened to you?"
"Hello?" asked the client.
Simultaneously, Ban and Ginji looked at the rear view mirror.
"Chibi!" Ban exclaimed.
"Eh…" Ginji sweatdropped.
Their faces were covered in what looked like Jigglypuff gone marker-happy after a good sing[1]. Blue, red, yellow, pink, green and purple decorated their features, in random swirls, squiggles, and spots. Ban looked like some mixed-up rainbow, while Ginji seemed to have a predominant case of red chicken-pox as well as hepatitis.
From the backseat, Chibi rolled over and opened one eye. "Huh?" he asked innocently, the many markers of the Get Backers scattered around him. In his point of view, they'd been put to good use. In fact, he had done some cosmetic alterations to himself, too. Let's just say that his arms were the same color his shorts and his eyes were. And his face looked worse than Ginji's.
"Amano-san? What wrong?" the client, whose name was apparently Memer, asked.
"Nothing, nothing," Ginji hastened to say as Ban glared at Chibi and began rooting around for soap and a towel. "We're having a few…problems. We'll meet you in an hour or so, thank you for your business!"
"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone by yourself!" Ban fumed at Chibi as he started the car.
"Ban-chan, it wasn't really his fault!" Ginji protested, ineffectually rubbing at the ink on his face.
"I swear I'm gonna get back at him for this, one of these days!" Ban grumbled as the car made its way to the Honky Tonk.
"You should sue your make-up artist."
"Maybe we should make him work for you. You sure could use it," Ban snapped.
"Hmph." Paul watched as Ginji continued scrubbing his now-red face. It looked painful already.
"Gimme that. It's my turn," Ban tried to snatch the towel away.
"Wait! I'm not yet done!"
Chibi giggled as they squabbled, ignoring the yells and short bursts of electricity. He was as sadistic as ever.
They heard a motorbike pull up outside, and a few seconds later Himiko walked in. At first she wasn't going to greet them, but then she stopped in her tracks and stared. "What happened to you?"
"That's the third time…" Ginji began dismally.
"There's been an outbreak. Haven't you heard?" Ban cut in sarcastically.
"Jeez, no need to bite me." Himiko sweatdropped as all the guys stared. "Perverts. Not that way."
Tare-Ginji pointed at Ban while inching away. "He's the only pervert here." He darted away from Ban's blow.
"Pervert?" Chibi piped up.
"NO, CHIBI!" Several voices cried.
"You are such bad examples," Himiko snorted, sitting down at the counter.
"I'd like to see you take better care of him," Ban shot back, finally gaining possession of the towel and scrubbing his face.
"I bet I could," the girl said snidely.
"Ban-chan, we're going to be late, and Natsumi-chan's not here yet…" Ginji said, glancing at the clock on the wall. Suddenly, they did one of those "connected thought" things, and they both looked at Himiko.
Two words ran through her mind. Oh. Crap.
She never knew what hit her. All at once, Chibi was in her lap, still bearing resemblance to a kiddie coloring book, and the door was swinging, with Ginji's faint "Thank you, Himiko-chaaaaaaaan!" echoing through the café.
Paul looked at the door as it settled back to a close then turned to Lady Poison, baby at hand. He shook his head. "Ah, déjà vu."
"'Imiko! Look, 'Imiko, cat!"
"Yes, Chibi, that's a cat." Since they'd arrived at her apartment building after a quick breakfast at the Honky Tonk, Chibi had pointed out to her the lights, the existence of the door, and the fact that the wall was color blue. If she didn't know better, she'd say the kid was showing off…must be Ban rubbing off on him.
She smiled slightly as the baby shrank away from the animal padding curiously towards him. "It's okay, it won't hurt you…"
Chibi gulped, then let out a small whimper as the cat nudged his belly. "Uuuuuh!" he ran around to Himiko's other side, clutching tightly on one of her hands and her leg.
The sixteen-year-old sighed and picked him up before the cat could inspect him again. "You baby," she said half-heartedly. She shook her head at his still multicolored visage. "You need a good bath. Shoo, puss."
"'Imiko, borrow keys," he said, small hands reaching down as Himiko shifted him to one arm and began unlocking her door.
"Wait, Chibi…got it." She absentmindedly handed her keys to Chibi then twisted the doorknob, letting them both into her apartment.
"Tch, he's late," Ban said, looking at the watch inside his car. He looked around the small park, trying to spot anything that would seem to stand out. Anything. Unfortunately…he saw something that really stood out. "Oh, crap. A bunch of cosplaying animé otakus are coming our way…Don't mind them, Ginji."
Ban was referring to the three men dressed in odd costumes. One was dressed as if he were Terry Bogart, another had a bucket with eye holes over his head, and the last was in a blue and yellow ninja suit that had an odd monkey-like creature [2] perched on his shoulder.
"Kawaii monkey!"
Ban's fist met the back of Ginji's head with a loud whap. "Ssh! I told you not to mind them!"
"Ano…excuse me."
"Eh?" Ban turned to find himself face to face with the ninja-clad cosplayer.
"You two are Get Backers?" You could tell by his accent…and grammar…that he was gaijin. [3]
Silence.
"Eh…Ban-chan? I think that that cosplayer is our client," Ginji whispered from behind Ban.
Ban was jarred back into reality. "Ah, yes. Yes, we are," he said, pushing his shades up the bridge of his nose.
The 'ninja' turned to his friends and spoke to them in some foreign tongue[4]. Immediately afterwards, his companions left for elsewhere. He turned back to the retrievers. "Thank you for helping find portfolio."
"We haven't found it yet," Ban reminded him.
"Could you give us any details or descriptions on what your portfolio looks like? What does it contain?" added Ginji.
"Drawings, sketches, that kind of things…" replied Memer ecstatically.
After a few more minutes of exchanging information, they began to wrap up their conversation.
"We'll contact you through your cellphone when we find it," Ginji said as he and Ban stepped into the bug.
Memer tapped on the window just as the engine roared to life. "Can I come?" he asked cheerfully.
"Eh?!"
Himiko was rifling in her closet for a towel for Chibi. She privately gave thanks that the clothes he was wearing were fresh…with any luck, she wouldn't have to find clothes for him. With any luck…meaning, if he didn't soil his shorts.
She pulled out a fluffy pink and yellow striped towel—Why the heck do I have this?—and turned. "C'mon, Chibi, let's give you a…" She trailed off, realizing the baby was no longer on her bed. She groaned. "Chibi!"
From her bathroom, she heard the flush of a toilet. Suddenly the baby came running out, his face worried, saying, "'Imiko! 'Imiko! Keys fell, toilet!"
"What?!"
It took more than five minutes for her to fish her apartment keys out of the toilet bowls, grumbling all the while. "How in the world do Ban and Ginji take care of you? Between you and those two, I'm surprised that car of theirs hasn't blown up yet, or worse…" She dried the keys with tissue paper and grabbed a bottle of alcohol off the shelf, saturating them in it. Then she dried them again. "You are so lucky these didn't go down all the way, the stupid management would have made me pay for it…"
She turned to find Chibi poking her gently and saying in a small voice, "Sorry, 'Imiko."
She sighed and knelt, putting her keys safely in her pocket. "Aw, it's okay…at least we got them out." She pinched his cheek. "You do puppy dog eyes better than Ginji." The baby squealed as she swept him up and tucked him under one arm, tickling him all the while. "Time for your bath, Chibi." She grinned over the baby's giggles. "Those marks might become permanent."
Himiko's bathroom was a small, Western-styled one, simple and very clean. She placed Chibi in the shower, making sure his clothes were outside the room in case any accidents happened, and proceeded to douse him with water and scrub him vigorously. The baby squirmed in protest, and she shushed him sternly. "You don't want to look like a rainbow forever, do you?" she asked. She picked up her shower…it was one of those removable ones, and soaked him again. He gasped and giggled, crouching and splashing at the residue water on the floor. "Hey!" Himiko grinned. She looked him over and sighed. "You've still got faint marks on you…what did you use, permanent markers?"
"Hey, stoppit, 'Imiko!" Chibi tried to escape the washcloth.
"You hate baths almost as much as Ban used to." She smirked. "Did you know that, Chibi? The great Midou Ban, the first few weeks he stayed with us, he would bathe twice a week at the most. Said that's how he did it before, in Europe. It took aniki and me that long to convince him that relatively warmer climate here in Japan meant more body odor." She grinned evilly. "Remind me to blackmail him with it one…CHIBI!"
Chibi giggled at the now-drenched-and-glaring Himiko, shower in hand. "Wheeee!" he said gleefully, spraying the walls, Himiko, the ceiling, Himiko, and the floor. Did we forget to mention Himiko?
"Chi-bi! Give me that! Hey!" They wrestled with it, spraying each other thoroughly in the process. In the end, Himiko was in possession of the shower again, growling playfully as she gave him one final scrub and rinse. He clapped his hands, going, "Boom! Boom! DIE!"
"Paul was right. You are violent." She sighed as she stood, dripping wet. "Great. Now I'm going to have to change. How did aniki survive with me?" She surveyed her drenched bathroom, and turned a stern eye downwards at the cheerful, finally clean two-year-old.
"You, my little torturer, are going to help me clean up."
"I'm sure I left it around here... somewhere," Memer said.
Ban looked around the many light blue plastic tables and white monobloc chairs around the food court of a local mall.
"Where exactly?" came the grumpy reply of Ban.
The 'ninja' turned to his ever faithful sidekick. "Memer II, where we eat again?"
The monkey sat up, scratched his head, looked from side to side, then took off, bouncing on Ginji's head on the way. For the first time, the Get Backers noticed its smallness, its huge eyes and ears, and its hard to place color of its fur.
"Ow!" tare-Ginji said, rubbing his head.
Ban kicked him soon afterwards. "Follow the monkey, you idiot! It's going too fast!"
Tare-Ginji bounced off the tables in hot persuit of the monkey, knocking food and drinks off the table and onto people laps here and there. "Excuse me!" he cried over his shoulder.
Memer and Ban followed on foot off the table. They found the monkey bouncing up and down as tare-Ginji stared at a small child's doll, flopped square on the middle of the table.
"What's wrong?" inquired Memer.
Ginji pointed at the note that the doll seemed to be holding up written in topsy turvy childlike letters. It read, Hi. I like your folder thing, so I borrowed it, k? -Eriko
Ginji picked up the doll and lifted it into the air. "Who owns this doll?"
Ban promptly sandwiched Ginji's face between his fists. "Baka!"
A man walked up to the odd trio and tapped Memer on the shoulder. "I think that doll belongs to my daughter. She's been looking for it for quite a while now."
Ban moved to face the man and nodded, a smirk on his face. "I see, I see. And where is this daughter of yours? We'd gladly hand it ove rto her personally."
"Asuza! Where have you been?" the girl named Eriko questioned the doll.
Ginij leaned down and sat in a squatting position, bringing his height down to Eriko's level. "Eriko-chan, do you remember a folder full of drawings? Do you still have them?"
Eriko nodded, then shook her head, unsure. "I remember it but I don't have it anymore." She pointed at the musty-looking door of backroom of her father's store. "I think granny got them. She no want to return them to me," she said.
Ban looked at the shop owner, again. "May we search the back?"
Somewhere in the dark and dusty storeroom, a crouched over old lady hovered over a mountain of drawings, a flashlight in her bony hands. "Hmm, these drawings are good enough to sell on E-bay."
"I'm sorry but we believe that's lost property."
The old lady turned to find three men staring right back at her. "You'll never get this back! NEVER! It's mine I'm telling you! MINE!"
"No need to repeat yourself," Ban scoffed. "We could hear you well enough."
"Polly, sic!" cried the old lady.
A parrot emerged out of nowhere and attacked the closest person to it, who happened to be Memer. Unfortunately for the parrot, Memer II lunged at him to protect its master. The monkey tackled the bird and they both fell to the floor. Much screeching from both the Polly and Memer II was the only thing heard. After what seemed like a minute the parrot had emerged victorious, a claw perched on the monkey's furry chest. The tarsier just lay there, still and unmoving.
"No! Memer II!" Memer loomed over his sidekick. "Don't die on me!" he cried. Then...
Whap!
Memer struck the parrot with the oversized blue pencil he had been carrying around, strapped onto his back.
I was beginning to wonder what that was for, the Get Backers thought.
The old lady's son had entered just in time to see his poor pet die before his eyes. "No, Polly! She was my only friend!" he gasped between sobs. "You'll pay for this!"
Ban pushed his shades up the bridge of his nose, ready to perform the Jagan on either the old lady or her son, while Ginji began sparking.
"AOI-ENPITSUKEN!" [5]
Before either of them knew it, the shopkeeper was attacked by a flurry of blue blurs and was soon flat on the floor, swirly-eyed and all.
Memer sheathed the huge blue pencil and went back to his mourning.
The old lady huddled in her little corner, shuddering in what seemed like fear. "Take it! Just don't hurt me!" she threw the portfolio and it slid to Ban's feet.
The unchin-headed Get Backer picked the folder and its clattered contents before handing them over to Memer.
Memer didn't accept his portfolio immediately. He picked up the tiny body of Memer II and hugged it close to him.
Memer II suddenly woke up, emitting an odd sound.
"Memer II! You're alive! I thought you were goner!" Memer held the monkey in a deathgrip. If the parrot's attack didn't kill him, this would.
The three (four if you include Memer II) exited the room and walked out the store, Ginji stopping long enough to say good-bye to Eriko.
Eriko, not sure what had just happened in the other room, just looked at the them, smiled, and waved good-bye.
Chibi was sucking quietly on a bottle, fascinated as Himiko read a book to him. There were no shows on the television suitable for his age…she didn't want to add to his violent tendencies, after all…so after a mercifully uneventful lunch, she popped over to her neighbors' and borrowed a pile of children's books.
She sighed when she finished the fourth. "You don't take naps, do you?"
"Read, please." He reached for another book.
"I guess not…"
Suddenly, her cellphone began to ring. "Wait, Chibi," she said, flipping her phone open.
"Hello?" Chibi yelled excitedly, at the same time she answered. She winced.
"Kudo-san…! Wait, did I hear a child there?"
"It's nothing, Yamada-san, I'm just babysitting the…kid of my friend." She grimaced. Imagine if Ban or Ginji really had a kid…
Weird.
"Oh…that's too bad. I was planning to ask you if you wanted to transport something…"
Himiko sighed. "Is it important, sir?"
"I'm afraid so, Kudo-san. But it's relatively short, the job will take you only around four hours. Not the usual whole or half day."
Himiko thought for a while. "All right. I'll find someone to take care of Chibi till then."
"Good, good, Kudo-san! I'll meet you in thirty minutes, in the usual place?"
"Yes sir. Ja."
As she put the phone down, she looked at the baby sitting on her couch. "Sorry, Chibi, but one of my clients called, and I have work to do."
"Okay," Chibi replied, a little uncertainly.
Himiko looked thoughtfully at him. "Who can I get to take care of you?"
As Chibi cocked his head at her and stared back, a slow smile spread across the hakobiya girl's face. She picked up her phone and dialed a number.
As Ban and Ginji were helping Memer and Memer II look for their friends, Ban somehow caught a glance of Himiko get onto her motorbike and the noticed that there was no brown-haired kid with her.
"Hey, that's Himiko-chan, isn't it? Ne, Ban-chan, how come there's a box in Himiko's sidecar and not Chibi?" Ginji wondered aloud.
Ban pulled over by the motorbike and rolled down the window. "Himiko."
The hakobiya almost jumped a foot in the air. "Gah! What?"
"Where the heck is the baby?"
Ginji began thinking to himself. That sounded wrong.
Memer's eyes grew wide. He tapped Ginji on the shoulder and pointed at the other two and asked in a loud stage whisper, "Are they married?"
"WHAT!" shouted Ban.
Himiko looked at Ban weirdly. "What are you talking about?" she asked, leaning forward to look at Ginji and their other passenger.
Ban forcefully shoved her head out the window. "Can you just answer the question already!"
Ginji shook his head. "No, they're not."
And that sounded worse...
"Could the two of you shut up?!" In the nether regions of Ban's brain, he could hear himself thinking, If he weren't a client, he'd be dead right now.
Himiko seriously considered the fact that Ban needed to be admitted to a mental facility one of these days. Then Ban's question came back to mind. "Ah. Chibi's in good hands. You two need not worry about him," she said, an unusual smile on her face.
And with that she sped off.
Memer leaned forward and nudged Ban. Nudge, nudge, nudge.
Ban glared. "What?!"
"What? You have nothing to be ashamed of. She has nice ass after all."
Ban's hand was in mid-air ready to thwap Memer when Memer II jumped him and bit him on the nose.
"Memer Two! Memer Two! Alis! Alis!" [6]
Ban tried to pry the rabid monkey off his face. "Stop telling him to attack me!"
"I'm not!"
Ginji shook his head pityingly. "Monkeys really don't like you, don't they Ban-chan?"
After they finally pried the monkey off Ban's face, got paid, and found Memer's other companions, they happily said their goodbyes to the always-exuberant Memer and his tarsier (Ban sighed thankfully to himself, Damn monkey.), the Get Backers set off to buy supplies….milk, cereals, soap, a few more cloth diapers…etc.
As he and Ban lined up at the counter, Ginji glanced idly at the crowd. Suddenly, he froze, a look of pure shock and fear on his face.
"B-b-ban…chan…"
"What?" Ban turned, and followed Ginji's eyes…and stared, too.
A very familiar black, wide-brimmed hat could be seen bobbing up and down in the crowd. Up, down, up, down…but the hat wasn't held tilted over a frighteningly always-placed and happy-to-kill face. It was perched on the brown mop of a baby with happy green eyes.
Who, in his turn, was perched on the shoulders of the frighteningly always-placid and happy-to-kill Akabane.
Chibi and his current babysitter disappeared towards the food area.
Ban and Ginji looked at each other, eyes wide and almost uncomprehending.
"Holy…"
"…crap."
"Sir? That'll be 1,300 yen."
They barely even looked at the startled cashier girl as they shoved the money over, grabbed the bags, and ran to where they'd last seen Chibi. Ban, of course, ran back for the receipt and change.
Scanning the fast food stalls and tables, they caught sight of the black hat, still on Chibi's head, and ran. As they got closer, they saw the blue flash of scalpels…
"Jackal! What the hell?!" Ban banged both hands down on the table, causing the spaghetti to jump a few inches from the plate.
Spaghetti?
"Really, Midou-kun, that was quite unnecessary," Akabane said calmly. "You nearly caused our food to spill." He smiled delightedly at the shivering tare-Ginji struggling with the paper grocery bags. "Ginji-kun! What a pleasant surprise."
"Hi Banchan! Hi Jinji!" Chibi's eyes lit up at the sight of the two of them, and he waved his hands cheerfully. "Eat!"
"Banchan? How…cute." The gleam in Akabane's eyes could almost be described as sadistically amused.
"Shut up, Jackal," Ban growled. "What's he doing here?"
"The Lady Poison was called for a job," the hakobiya replied, resuming with slicing up the spaghetti. Tare-Ginji gulped at the sight of the scalpels. "She asked me to take care of him." He pushed the plate to Chibi, his scalpels disappearing. "Here you go, Chibi-kun."
"Ayig'to!" Chibi said cheerfully, picking up his fork and poking at the spaghetti. He looked up at Ban and Ginji. "You want?"
A vein popped in Ban's head. "Himiko…." He could almost see her, hands propped defiantly on her hips, laughing evilly at him.
"But really, Midou-kun, why didn't the two of you tell me about Chibi-kun sooner?" Akabane said reproachfully. "You know how much I love babies.
Tare-Ginji squeaked something incomprehensible at this.
"Since you're here, let me invite you to eat with us," Akabane said. "It's on me."
They didn't have that much of a choice…after all, they couldn't leave Chibi in the clutches of Akabane Kuroudo, could they?
Ban and Ginji had spaghetti, too…loads and loads of it. Ginji sat beside Chibi, to feed him, and to stay as far as possible from Akabane. This left Ban with no other choice but the seat beside the so-called doctor. Oh well…
"Chibi-kun and I had quite a lot of fun today," said Akabane. "Right, Chibi-kun?"
"Yap," the innocent child answered. Images of poor Chibi at the clutches of Akabane rushed through Ginji's head, and he gulped.
"Exactly how long did he stay with you?" Ban asked through gritted teeth, twirling the noodles onto his fork.
"Oh, Himiko-san called me at around 2 o'clock," the hakobiya replied off-handedly. His smile widened. "You know, Chibi-kun has a remarkable sense of humor. He likes it when he sees me draw my scalpels…like this!"
"GAH!" Ginji went flying tare-form, and even Ban shied away, as Akabane lunged a bit forward and popped the glowing blue scalpels out from between his fingers.
Chibi giggled, saying, "Blue! Blue! A-banee, blue sca'pel!"
Akabane kept the threatening objects, sliding them back into himself as Chibi reached for them. "Oh, no, Chibi-kun, you shouldn't play with these. They're too sharp, you might hurt someone."
Ban stared in total disbelief at the Dr. Jackal, as did Tare-Ginji. I did not just hear that from him.
"Oh," Chibi nodded wisely. "Okay."
"If you don't want him to touch it... then stop showing them to him already!" Ban snapped.
The next morning, Ban and Ginji awoke to see Chibi fooling around with the markers again.
"Oi! You! Let go of that!" Ban growled, reaching backwards with a long arm.
Chibi held his hands away, then fisted them. Three blue or green markers in each hand in a very familiar style...
"Look, Banchan, Jinji! Sca'pels!"
"CHIBI!"
To be continued...
Disclaimer 2: We don't own the CCCom fighters or anything Culture Crash related either. -grin-
Authors' Notes 2:
[1] We're sure everyone knows what Jigglypuff does when no one listens to it because they had fallen asleep. XD
[2] The monkey is a tarsier. A monkey that could only be found in the "jungles" of the Philippines.
[3] Gaijin- From what I know, it means foreign/er. That's why some things Memer said had bad grammar (not being a resident of Japan and all) hence, grammar mistakes in Memer's dialogue was intentional.
[4] Bet all you Pinoys know what the foreign tongue was...
[5] Translation: Blue Pencil Strike. Memer's special attack.
[6] Translation: Memer II! Memer II! Get off! Get off!
[7] Riyuji feels deprieved, that's why we added Culture Crash (The Philippines' Premiere Comic Magazine) hints. Riyuji needs CCCom 15!
[8] Drum roll, please! -insert drum roll here- Presenting...Akabane Kuroudo!!
Ichigo Akira, witchy-witchlette13, Phillips, Millie-chan, Faye-chan, Atropos' Knife, and the PIERROT: Thanks for the props!
Veggie Briefs: Chibi's nicer to Himiko than to anyone else...
Invader Androgynous: WE KNOW WHAT YOUR NAME MEANS!! and...-Rabid Lola points at Riyuji- The doctors came into being because Riyuji went hyper. Like right now... -Rabid Lola, I felt like adding something that had to do with crazy ninja people! -Riyuji
Kikio-sama: He's your dad! How can you not trust him? Oo Thanks for the props!
Ora-chan: DUDE! O, eto na si Akabane-sama! Tenkyu por da props.
I ar chocobo: HI KAMPANA! Kampana, kampana, the bells of Notre Dame! Romeo, romeo, mi el filibusterismo! Thanks for reviewing!
Wielder of Paperclips: Thank you, Wielder, I'll make sure to check next time. -Rabid Lola, How did you know...um, no? -Riyuji
ViL: There's a fangirl dance? Never knew...Nope, it's 'pediatrician'.
Moronicus: HEY! Long time no see! You know, we were just talking about how you were missing, and then we got your review. Hehehe...Thanks for reviewing!
