Lee3: Hey everyone.... why is it cold in here?

Kitsune: I had the air conditioner set at 40 degrees.

Lee3: Fahrenheit?

Kitsune: No wonder it's cold.

Lee3: {Learn the standard system idiot.} I would have posted this back in May, but with all the home remodeling I never got the chance. Plus, my family got a new computer and for some reason I couldn't access the file that had this chapter almost finished so now I have to start over again.

Kitsune: Can we start the fic now?

Lee3: I don't own any of the characters except the self-insert and I am using a little bit of "Sonic Adventure 2" and "Family Matters" for comedic purposes.

Kitsune: Let's go nownownownownownownow......

Lee3: (hits Kitsune with a sledgehammer) Finally, some silence. RUN IT!

The Big Rig Chase

Lee: You brought that sexy psycho bitch here?!

Renegade: Yep, don't worry we won't try to kill you until our vacation is over.

Motoko: (Whispers to Lee) Who's this Angelica, is she that scary?

Lee: (whispers back) Yes, she's very psychotic, and right now she is staring at us.

Motoko: So?

Lee: When she sees me, she tries to kill me, and another thing since you are with me she will try to kill you too.

Renegade: Oh I forgot the price on your head went up.

Lee: What is it now?

Renegade: Too high to count. If I weren't on vacation I would've made another attempt to take your life the second I saw you.

Lee: Remember I have to be brought in alive in order for you to get the bounty, only then you get to kill me.

Renegade: I hate that rule.

Motoko: Lee, everyone is waiting for us to get back home.

Lee: Oh yeah thanks. Sorry jerk-off, but we gotta go (turns and walks off with Motoko).

Motoko: Well, it looks like we both attracted attention to each other in public just by looking at me in this miniskirt and you with your height.

Lee: Like you said we're a couple of outcasts.

Angelica: That was Lee wasn't it?

Renegade: Yeah, so what?

Angelica: Why don't we just go get him and that pretty girl he was with?

Renegade: Because we are on vacation, hence the keyword va-ca-tion.

Angelica: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!!!

Renegade: After all of my training I thought I taught you patience.

Angelica: Look, if you won't go after them, then I will (walks off)

Renegade: Don't you do anything stupid.

Angelica: (being flirtatious) You know me...lover (runs off)!

Renegade: That's what I'm talking about! {Wait did she add lover to that last statement? Oh man, now I know why she is the "oddball" of the family.}

Su: What is taking them so long.

Keitaro: Su, just relax they'll be back.

Su: But I'm so hungry!

Naru: Dammit Su, you're always hungry!

Shinobu: They'll be back.

Sarah: Yeah, unless they're making out or trying to kill each other.

Keitaro: Or both (long pause)!

Everyone: Naaah!

Motoko: Lee?

Lee: Yes?

Motoko: (shyly) When you said you kinda liked me...did you....mean it?

Lee: Hey, check this out (Motoko falls over anime style).

Motoko: Weren't you even listening to me?!

Lee: Everyone on that particular street is fleeing in terror (looks at the people running).

Motoko: Wonder what's going on?

Lee: Yo dude, what's going on?

Paranoid Guy: Some purple haired psycho-bitch is driving a gigantic big rig and is on a rampage, RUN!!!

Motoko: Sounds like that Angelica woman.

Lee: But she can't drive (walks towards the street of chaos that's now empty). Oh fuck.

Motoko: (runs to wear Lee is standing) What's wrong (Looks in the direction Lee is facing)? Oh.

Angelica: (Driving a Big Rig that's 3 times the size of a normal one.) So, do you like what you see?

Lee: You mean you or the truck?

Angelica: The truck you idiot!

Lee: Oh, then yeah!

Motoko: I don't know whether that's funny or stupid.

Lee: Alright Lee and that hot, sexy looking girl who is with him (getting turned on), prepare yourselves!

Motoko: (getting annoyed) My name is Motoko.

Lee: Oh my god, you were getting turned on when you described Motoko!

Motoko: I don't know if that's good or bad.

Lee: {And she thinks Keitaro is an idiot.} It means she's bi as well as full of incest.

Motoko: (shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn't care) Who cares?

Angelica: Hello, I'm trying to kill you here.

(Lee3 interrupts the fic)

Lee3: Heh, heh, for this next part think "Family Matters" (the show with Steve Urkel).

Lee: (starts humming) Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, sword, sword, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm, hm pull your sword out now.

Motoko: (sings) I left my sword at home, I know what you're thinking.

Lee: (Looks at Motoko annoyed) What the fuck is wrong with you?

Angelica: (over the megaphone) Oh the do da day!

Lee: sigh I guess I'll have to take care of this myself. Could you hold these bags?

Motoko: Are you gonna try to destroy that thing (holds the bags)?

Lee: Yes (sword materializes).

Angelica: Just try it.

(Lee unsheathes his sword and slashes the truck several times, but there was no effect.)

Angelica: This truck is made of a metal that is of a dimension only my family knows of (tries to shoot Lee with the laser gun, but he back-flipped out of the way.).

Motoko: I thought your sword could cut anything.

Lee: Well yeah, anything on earth.

Motoko: So what do we do ?

Lee: Yes, but first (looks up at the sky) hey narrator!

Lee3: Yeah?

Lee: I need some cool chase music!

Lee3: Hang on (short pause). Remember the music from "Sonic Adventure 2 Battle" when Sonic is being chased by a Semi?

Lee: Yeah, City Escape 2 was the track.... at least I think it was.

Lee3: Glad, you remember because I'm playing that.

Lee: Decent, Motoko, forgive me for this (picks up Motoko and hold her under his right arm). Damn you're light.

Motoko: (blushes) Just shut up!

Lee: Here we go (runs at super-speed and the music plays).

Angelica: You won't get away from me (chases after them in the rig)! I'll get you Lee and Mitsuki!

Motoko: IT'S MOTOKO!!!

(Knowing that leading Angelica back to Kanagawa is a bad idea Lee decided to run around Tokyo, hoping that either Angelica's rig would either run out of gas or crash into something and stop. Unfortunately, the giant 18 wheeler's 18 tanks were nowhere near empty and it showed no signs of slowing down after crashing through.... Well everything. All this spanned in 1hour and Lee had no idea what he was doing, much like the author writing this fic.)

Motoko: Lee do you have any idea what you are doing?

Lee: No, I thought this would end like in the game "Sonic Adventure 2 Battle"!

Motoko: How did it end?

Lee: The semi crashed into a low arch and halted.

Motoko: Oh, but right now we are dealing with a psycho-bitch driving a gigantic big rig that has totaled 46 buildings and is about to fire!

Lee: What? {Goddammit, I didn't I sense it sooner?} (Angelica fired her Plasma Cannon, Lee leapt to avoid the shot, but not the concussion.) Damn!

Motoko: The fact you are still running and that we still have everything is beyond me as well as the readers.

Lee: Well, maybe the author is trying to be somewhat original.

Motoko: I usually think that this is cowardly, but let's hide at that store we were in.

Lee: Better than nothing (Lee sprints, makes a few turns and runs into the store.)

Motoko: Let's hide in the back.

Lee: Decent (Lee heads for the back door, but stops when he sees Haruka.).

Motoko: Why did.... Haruka?

Haruka: Motoko, Lee, what are you two doing here?

Lee: There's no time to explain, you and everyone else needs to get out of here immediately (truck crashes through the back wall and stops)!

(Everyone flees except the three morons.)

Haruka: I'm assuming that's the reason why we need to get moving (leaves).

Angelica: Now you two will die (opens all missile bays)!

Motoko: Get us outta here!

Lee: I'm on it (phases through all the aisles and the side wall)!

Angelica: Like that matters: (starts doing stupid poses) targets locked, ready FIRE (Launches all missiles blowing up the store while 2 missiles are chasing Motoko and Lee who are unaware of the explosives of death on their asses.)!!!

(Keitaro runs into the girl's bath)

Keitaro: Hey everyone!

Naru: Don't you ever knock (about to send Keitaro flying into orbit while Kitsune is laughing)!?!

Keitaro: Lee and Motoko are on TV!

Naru, Shinobu, Kitsune, Su: What?!

Motoko: Let's stop for a second.

Lee: (breathing heavily) Good....idea (stops).

Motoko: Think we lost her?

Lee: Somehow I doubt it (suddenly a bunch of news reporters appeared out of nowhere holding microphones close to Lee and Motoko) Whoa (drops Motoko)!

Motoko: Ow, hey why did you do that...? Oh.

Kitsune: Turn it up Tama-chan!

Tama: Myuh (cranks up the volume).

(on television)

Reporter1: Live on channel 9 news a rampage involving two teens being chased by a monstrous big rig driven by a crazy lady has destroyed 1/6 of Tokyo. I am standing in front of the two victims who are dealing with every reporter in the country.

Reporter2: Why are you two being pursued?

Lee: Because the driver wants us dead. {Dipshit.}

Reporter1: (beats up five other reporters) Why haven't you two called the police yet?

Motoko: There is no way in hell they would be able to help us, not that we need it.

Lee: {Good answer samurai.}

Dumb Reporter: Are you Shaq?

Lee: No.

Dumb Reporter: David Robinson?

Lee: (getting annoyed) No.

Dumb Reporter: Dennis Rodman?

Lee: Hell no (Motoko giggles as well as the rest of the Hinata residents watching the news.)!

Naru: What an idiot.

Keitaro: I agree.

Su: Does anyone want a banana?

Sarah: Two more questions and Lee is gonna hit that guy.

Dumb Reporter: Michael Jordan?

(A.N.: I get that one a lot.)

Lee: (getting mad) No (Motoko laughing hysterically)!

Dumb Reporter: Oh, I know who you are.

Lee: (sarcastic) Oh, who then: Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, or maybe the video game character Astaroth?

Dumb Reporter: No, Yao Ming (Motoko is rolling over laughing)!

Lee: C'mere (Dumb Reporter approaches striking distance), listen you stupid shit-head (uppercuts him 50 feet into a helicopter). DO I LOOK LIKE A 7'6" CHINESE GUY TO YOU?!!

Stupid Reporter: But you are an NBA player right?

Lee: (kicks the idiot into a building) Dumbass.

Reporter 5: (Looks at Motoko who just got up) And how about you young lady are you this gentleman's girlfriend?

Motoko: (Punches her into six other reporters and their camera crews into another building) NO!

Lee: Nice punch.

Motoko: You too (hears a hissing noise from a distance). Lee, you hear that?

Lee: Sounds like a missile (sees a missile coming towards them).

Lee, Motoko, & the Hinata Residents watching the TV: IT IS A MISSILE!!!

(Once again Lee picks up Motoko, who is still holding the bags with all contents inside and takes off, while kicking over two cop cars, jumps on the hoods of five more, while the 2 missiles hits the reporters.)

(The Hinata residents got fuzz on their TV due to the fact that the missile knocked out the news signal.)

Kitsune & Naru: Dammit, we lost the picture!

Shinobu: Sempai....are Lee and Motoko gonna die?

Keitaro: Of course not.

Naru: If Lee died that would be a good thing.

(Shinobu runs away crying)

Naru: Uh, oh.

Keitaro, Kitsune, Su, and Sarah: (glares at Naru) You made Shinobu cry!

Naru: I'm sor...(gets beat up by the 4 angry people)

Haruka: Hey guys Lee and Motoko are on their way (shows up out of nowhere).

Su: Yay, yay they're on their way yaaaaaaaaay!

Keitaro: I think we knew that already.

Lee: (standing in front of the Tokyo Tower) Motoko, is there an area away from a lot of people that's on the way to Hinata House?

Motoko: Yes, it's that way (points southeastward).

Lee: Good (runs in that direction). Hey what happened to Angelica and her Big Rig from Hell (the truck bashes through a building behind them)?

Motoko: I believe that answered your question.

Angelica: I can't believe you are still alive!

Motoko: I think you have poor aim.

Angelica: You bitch (fires a positron laser at Motoko, but Lee's tail emerged and fired a positron laser that engulfed the other laser and destroyed the gun.)!

Angelica: Nooooooooo, YOU BASTARD!!

Motoko: Whoa, thank you.

Lee: Your welcome.....are we near the area you pointed out to me?

Motoko: We will be there in twenty seconds.

(A.N.: Whoa, when did Motoko get so intelligent in something other than Japanese Swordplay?)

Lee: Tell me when we get there.

Angelica: I don't know what you two are planning, but you will not make it through this day alive (fires her full arsenal)!

(Lee turned his left hand into a laser gun that fires all kinds of lasers.)

Motoko: What are you gonna do with that?

Lee: I'm gonna show you that Su isn't the only techno freak. Hey narrator, play "Around the World" by Daft Punk!

Lee3: You got it (stops the Sonic music and plays the Daft Punk track).

(A.N.: What? I was listening to that CD at the time.)

Motoko: Need the beat?

Lee: Yeah (Fires lasers at the trucks guns and missile bays, destroying them).

Angelica: MY GUNS!! That's it, I'm gonna run you two over (hits the gas and is slowly catching up to them)!

Motoko: We're here!

Lee: Good (reverts the gun back into a hand). Did I tell you that I can mimic moves no matter where it comes from?

Motoko: No. Are you gonna mimic a Dragon Ball Z move?

Lee: Yes.

Motoko: Uh oh (closes her eyes).

Lee: (turns and starts running backwards) SOLAR FLARE (a bright light flashes blinding Angelica!!!

Angelica: Ahhhh, it burns, it burns (flips the truck on its left side)!

Lee: (stops and sets Motoko down) Now you're mine.

Motoko: What are you gonna do?

Lee: (pulls out a bigger, more advanced version of an AK 47) I'm gonna use my AK 199 (shoots up the front window, shattering the glass)!

Motoko: Why, didn't you do that before?

Lee: Didn't think of it (holds out his hand and an orange grenade materializes). Watch this (pulls the pin).

Motoko: You're not gonna throw that thing are ya (Lee runs towards the truck)? Holy shit he is (throw it into the broken window near Angelica's face).

Lee: (Runs and picks up Motoko using his tail) We have one minutes to get out of this area!

Motoko: Don't tell me the explosion is that big!?

Lee: Okay, I won't tell you.

(Angelica woke up to find the grenade finish its countdown and project a holographic version of Lee giving the finger.) Oh shit (the grenade explodes destroying the big rig with the with the psycho in it)!

Haruka: They should have been back by now.

Keitaro: No shit Sherlock.

Su: (shows up holding what looks like a Dragon Ball radar) Hey guys I just built my Brand Spankin' New Outcast Radar!

Shinobu: Uh Su, don't you have to put a transmitter on one of them for that to work?

Su: I forgot!

Naru: Don't worry it's just the hunger.

Haruka: Why are you so cheery?

Naru: I'm sure they will be back soon.

Keitaro: {The hunger pangs are so crazy they must have Naru acting supportive of both fighters instead of one of them.}

(Back at ground zero Renegade went to console his little sister.)

Angelica: (walks away from the wreckage) Brother?

Renegade: Check this out, they're profiles on these jackasses (hands her photos and descriptions of the Hinata Residents.) and one of them is Motoko Aoyama the girl he was with.

Angelica: So Lee is with these clods huh?

Renegade: Unfortunately, I don't know where they live and Lee is hard to track so we will have to wait until one of them leaves again.

Angelica: Perfect!

Renegade: Let's go we're still on vacation!

Angelica: {Oh, big brother.} Coming.

Outside the Hinata House

Motoko: We made it.

Lee: (breathing heavily, but recovering quickly) You're.....telling me.

Motoko: (monotonous) Did you enjoy carrying me around?

Lee: (Nonchalant) I not gonna lie to you, yes I did.

Motoko: I thought so (runs up the steps, but stops to find Lee on the bottom step looking through binoculars). What are you doing?

Lee: I was getting a close up your sexy ass, but since you turned around I also got a close up of something I did not want to see.

Motoko: (drops the bags) You bastard (charges at him)!

Lee: {I love to piss that girl off.} (Motoko tries to punch him, but Lee avoided her fist.) Gee, I didn't think you could fight without your sword.

Motoko: I don't need my sword to defeat you (tries to punch Lee again, but he blocked and grabbed her fist)!

Lee: Time to use my Gale Fist (his right hand glows white, then he clench it to a fist).

Motoko: Too bad that punch takes too long to set up. (attacks with her free hand and legs, but Lee was too focused to feel any pain) Dammit, don't you have a weakness?!

Lee: That's a secret.....Gale Punch (uppercuts Motoko sending her flying 10 feet in the air)!

Motoko: {Not another loss.} (Lands on her back an Lee pins her)

(A.N: Let me explain the Gale Punch. It is a punch that combines the energy of the user and the wind element. The move takes 10 seconds to execute, which isn't much time if you are fighting a speedy opponent like Motoko for instance. It takes complete focus to execute the move and if the user loses his or her focus for even an instant the move is cancelled. When executed the Gale Punch greatly damages the opponent from punch and the wind, which cuts your opponent.)

Lee: You are so beautiful and strong too. With such a deadly combination I wonder why Keitaro hasn't gone after you, oh wait you totally abuse him that's why (release the pin).

Motoko: (stands) I thought you were gonna kiss me or something.

Lee: Actually (kisses Motoko for a few seconds), I told you that I liked you and I meant it.

Motoko: (blushes) Uuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!

Lee: Take this (eletricutes her into submission). Damn, you are so easy to anger.

Motoko: (gets up but is still dizzy) Someone is watching us.

Lee: I know who it is, get the bags, I got a surprise for the spies (disappears).

(A.N.: Hey that rhymes.)

Motoko: I gotcha (picks up the bags and walks up the steps).

At the front door

Kitsune: Haruka was right.

Sarah: She is very wise.

Keitaro: Why is Motoko the only one outside?

Naru: Where is Lee anyway?

Su: Uh guys?

(Everyone turns to see Lee standing there pissed off.)

Everyone: Uh oh.

Lee: I don't like spies (punches them in all directions).

Motoko: (Watching the others fly in different directions) Crap, they were all watching us?

Naru: I can't believe the drinks didn't explode (opens a soda bottle and gets half of the soda on her face).

Lee: (Laughs at Naru) I guess all that running paid off.

Naru: Very funny.

Su: Bananas, bananas, bananas, woohoo!

Sarah: You must enjoy eating bananas more than anything else.

Su: (with six bananas in her mouth) Yes I do, yes I do!

Sarah: You are scaring me now.

Keitaro: {The world must be coming to an end.}

Shinobu: I can't believe you guys were on the news.

Lee: You all watched that?

Naru: Yes, until we lost the picture.

Motoko: (Blushes with embarrassment while trying to be monotonous) Lee had something to do with that.

Shinobu & Kitsune: How?

Motoko: Didn't you guys watch the entire broadcast before the missile hit the news crews.

Keitaro: No.

Motoko: Lee uppercutted an idiotic reporter into a helicopter that had the signal.

Lee: Motoko, the missiles took out the "Eye in the Sky", not the news crews on the ground who broadcasted the event.

Kitsune: I saw an explosion before we lost the picture on the channel we were watching.

Motoko: Let's change the subject.

Kitsune: Okay, like that makeout session.

Motoko & Lee: Oh shit.

Naru: I never thought that you, Motoko of all people would ever let someone beat you.

Motoko: (angry) What (draws her sword)?!

Lee: She gave it her all you bitch (draws his sword)!

Everyone: No, don't do here!

Lee & Motoko: X-Strike!

(A.N.: Think Chrono Trigger except everyone gets hurt.)

(Su, Sarah & Shinobu are groaning in pain.)

Naru: (in pain) I can't feel my legs.

Kitsune: (numb and in pain) I can't feel my boobs.

Keitaro: I can't feel anything!

Lee: Dammit, Naru was the one who shouldn't feel anything not Keitaro!

Motoko: Think about it Lee, it's Keitaro Urashima he takes all of everything!

Keitaro: (groans) It's true, it's oh so terribly true.

Lee: I thought you were a hopeless pussy, but after a week of me being here.....aw hell you really are a hopeless pussy and nothing will ever change that.

Sarah & Su: Amen to that!

Shinobu: I thought you were gonna comfort him.

Lee: What do you think this is an American teen movie, anime or any other stupid romance shit? I'm not a miracle worker.

Naru: (starts laughing) For once I agree with you.

(Everyone except Keitaro follows suit.)

Keitaro: Yeah, yeah, let's all laugh at the dork.

Kitsune: Okay (rolls in hysteria)!

To be continued

Antics: Annoying Question and Answer

Kitsune: Why did the author use that kind of music for the Big Rig chase?

Lee: Because the author played way too much "Sonic Adventure 2 Battle" one day and he couldn't think of anything else beyond that and Daft Punk isn't that right Lee3?

Lee3: Not now, my Chao transformed again!

Keitaro: What's with the "Family Matters" reference?

Lee: Comedic reasons I assure you. In fact, Lee3 mentioned that before the fic.

Naru: Why do you bash me throughout this fic?

Lee: Because I am based off the author and he hates you very much.

Sarah: Is Mutsumi gonna be in this fic?

Lee: Later.

Sarah: How about my daddy?

Lee: Later, even though he won't have much of an impact if any.

Keitaro: What about....um...uh who were those guys again?

Lee: (giving Keitaro the "you are fuckin' stupid" look) Shirai and Haitani?

Keitaro: Yeah!

Lee: No.

Naru: What about in the Antics part?

Lee: If the author comes up with the idea.

Naru: Why are you an asshole?

Lee: (shoots Naru) I really hate that girl.

Su: I need more bananas!

Lee: Go fetch girl (throws the bunch of bananas somewhere and Su chases after the bunch on all fours)!

Shinobu: Will I have a bigger part?

Lee: Probably not because the author often forgets about you.

Shinobu: Oh, (starts crying) I understand.

Lee: (annoyed) This crappy Q & A is over.

Lee3: Well, another semi-orthodox chapter is completed. Review if want to just don't send me really extreme flames that make no sense. See you next chapter.