Lee3: Hey, Keitaro?

Keitaro: What is it?

Lee3: Why are you such a pussy?

Keitaro: Well...hey I'm not a pussy!

Lee3: Really (shows several clips of Keitaro getting his ass kicked)?

Keitaro: Uuuuuhhhhhh, I can explain.

Lee3: No you can't.

Keitaro: You're right.

Lee3: Why do you let Naru kick your ass all the time?

Keitaro: Because sometimes I deserve it.

Lee3: You're hopeless...I'm just gonna start this chapter because that is what the fans are waiting for.

Keitaro: Good, because your comedy bits suck.

Lee3: (hits Keitaro into the camera) I don't own the series if I did Keitaro would be less of a wussy. You know the rest now RUN IT!!!

Kendo Psycho x 2

Lee: So you have an older sister that can also beat you pretty easily?

Motoko: (partially catatonic) Yeah.

Lee: So I would have to go all out in order to win.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: {Yeah right.} If she is anything like you she'll go down really fast.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: I see you agree with me.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: Are you even listening to me?

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: You eat dick.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: You need to get laid.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: That's it, I'm gonna go beat your sister.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: And I might do her.

Motoko: Yeah.

Lee: (strips her naked) I getting Keitaro in here.

Motoko: Yeah.

(Front room)

Keitaro: {I wonder if Motoko is okay?}

Lee: Yo Keitaro, if you want to see Motoko's naked body without her whooping your ass now is the time.

Keitaro: Why?

Lee: She is still partially catatonic from yesterday. {Even though it's really from the letter I received, but he doesn't need to know that.} (Looks to find a smoke trail) Uh, Keitaro..? Hmm must have left.

Shinobu: Oh Lee, how is Motoko?

Lee: She's okay just out of it for now.

Shinobu: I guess she needs space.

Lee: Yes she does, I have an errand to run so I gotta go.

Su: Heyo (tries to jump kick Lee as he is about to leave)!

Lee: Oh no you don't (sprout spikes from his back)!

Su: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH (her foot makes contact with the spikes)!!!! Ow, my foot! You are so mean!

Lee: Serves you right (finally gets outside at starts walking). Damn, these residents are getting on my nerves (hears Keitaro screaming while flying through the air). I was waiting for that...hey Mutsumi.

Mutsumi: Hi.

Lee: (Looks at the readers) How do I know Mutsumi? I don't, it's an anime/manga fanfic random appearances from other characters occur all the time (teleports).

(Back in the dorm)

Motoko: (Back to normal) Damn that Keitaro. Hey where did Lee go?

Mutsumi & Su: He went to run an errand, because you suck as a warrior.

Motoko: (pissed) GET ME TO KYOTO!!!!

(A.N.: That was mean wasn't it? Yeah right.)

(On Top of Tokyo Tower)

Lee: What the hell? This isn't Kyoto, what the hell am I doing in Tokyo (teleports again)?!

(Unfortunately Lee needs to have knowledge about his destination, which he does...he's just too excited to focus.)

Lee: (teleports to Hokkaido) Now where am I (sees a welcome to Hokkaido sign)? Aww shit (teleports again). Finally, I have arrived at (looks at the sign) Sendai...DAMMIT (teleports back to Tokyo)!!!!

(Back at Hinata House)

Motoko: Don't you have a flying machine or something?

Su: Yes sir (reveals a blimp)!

Motoko: Good, now let's get a move on.

Su: Should you be out and about after yesterday and the catatonic state you were in a little while ago?

Motoko: I don't care about that right now!

Su: I didn't think so.

(Back in Tokyo)

Lee: {Okay Lee there are approximately four hundred islands in Japan, meaning there are a whole lot of cities you could teleport to at random for days. There has to be a building in Kyoto you remember...that's it!} (Teleports again)

(Outside the Rhiga Royal Hotel)

(A.N.: There really is such a place in Kyoto and I know because I've been there.)

Lee: Okay, I'm in Kyoto, now where is the God's Cry School? Wait, I could just try to sense wherever the challenger is (senses a lot of fighting spirits). Aww hell, I'll just isolate the strongest one (senses the strongest one Northwest from his current position...he didn't care about the mileage.) Got it!

(Some little kid shows up)

Kid: Hey, it's the guy from the "Big Rig Incident"!

Lee: {Can't these people get off of that?} (Flies to where he thinks the God's Cry School is)

(High over Tokyo)

Motoko: Can't this thing go any faster?

Su: I'm still trying to fathom how we got from the dorm to Tokyo within a few short scenes.

Sarah: (comes out of hiding) You obviously haven't been paying attention for the last few scenes.

Motoko: You're here too?

Su: A stowaway, a stowaway, yippee!

Sarah: Shouldn't you be thinking about Keitaro or something?

Motoko: We are not pursuing him in this chapter.

Sarah: My bad.

Su: It's Lee Motoko is...

Motoko: I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HIM!!!

Sarah: (silence) Then why are you pursuing him in this chapter?

Motoko: Because Su told me that he told her I suck as a warrior!

Sarah: {I have the feeling that most of that is bullshit.}

(Lee lands on the roof of the dojo)

Lee: {I wonder if I'm at the right place.}

Tsuruko: (stands behind him) I trust that you found this place okay.

Lee: (keeps his back to her) You must be Tsuruko.

Tsuruko: And you are the warrior who spoke to me telepathically.

Lee: My name is Lee. Funny, you look like a taller version of Motoko, but she is the better-looking one.

Tsuruko: Yep, you are obviously the NBA player who was carrying my sister, while running at super speed, while being chased by a Big Rig with a psycho-bitch bounty hunter at the wheel (giggles).

Lee: Why does everyone think I'm an NBA player because I'm tall and Black? Wait a minute were you following me around?

Tsuruko: I was there at the time (giggles).

Lee: (annoyed) Did you invite me here to talk (tail pops out and his sword appears on his back) or fight (draws his sword and faces Tsuruko)?

Tsuruko: My, a big sword for a big guy.

Lee: Stop hitting on me.

Tsuruko: I'm just messing with your boyish mind, besides I'm a married woman (Lee falls anime style).

Lee: (Stands) Whatever, how do I know you are even worthy of facing my blade (transforms the sword into a bludgeon)?

(A.N.: A bludgeon is also known as a Ball "n" Chain.)

Tsuruko: You think you can beat me with that?

Lee: What do you take me for Motoko's landlord?

Tsuruko: I see (makes that psychotic face of hers'), let's begin.

Lee: (eyes glow red) Yes, let's.

(Back at Hinata House)

Naru: Keitaro, have you seen Motoko and Su around?

Keitaro: No.

Shinobu: Maybe they are in trouble.

Keitaro & Naru: Impossible.

Kitsune: Hey guys, have you all noticed that Sarah isn't around?

Keitaro: That explains why it's so quiet.

Naru: Actually, the fact that Su is missing explains the silence.

Seta: (crashes his van into the dorm) hey guys.

Naru: (In a half panic) Seta! Motoko, Sarah, and Su are missing!

Seta: I saw a blimp with three eyes painted on it headed for Kyoto, they're probably in that.

Keitaro: Oh, okay (he and the others sit on the couch as if nothing is wrong).

Seta: Wait, you aren't gonna go after them?

Kitsune: Nope.

Seta: Why?

Keitaro: The reason is because they went after someone who can get back on his own.

Seta: Must mean Lee.

Haruka: (shows up out of nowhere) I'll explain every thing.

(Back on the blimp)

Sarah: Are we there yet (whiny)?

Su: Not yet.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Su: No.

Sarah: Are we there yet?

Motoko: SHE SAID NO, NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!

(At the dojo)

(Tsuruko and Lee have been battling for a few minutes and neither one of them has the upper hand...yet.)

Tsuruko: You know I'm just toying with you (misses her opponent's head).

Lee: Same here, but you don't know how serious I can get.

Tsuruko: Hundred Profusion Strike: 2nd Form!

Lee: Dumbass (became transparent and Tsuruko's ki blast went through him).

Tsuruko: What (Tsuruko stares at the transparent clone that is just standing there. Then she slashes it until it disappears.)?! {It's a fake? I've never seen a move like that!}

Lee: Hey bitch-ass (Tsuruko turns just in time to get hit in the ribs and sent flying by the spiked ball of the bludgeon)!

Tsuruko: {Why...why didn't I see that coming?}

Lee: {Because, you are as dumb as your sister.} (Appears above Tsuruko and is about to strike)

Tsuruko: Got you (Swings at Lee's face, but he pulled away at the last second. Both fighters flipped and landed on their feet.)!

Lee: Incoming (launches the bludgeon at Tsuruko, but she jumped on it and is running on the chain)!

Tsuruko: Boulder Cutting...(Lee pulls the chain and Tsuruko falls, but back flips into a stance)

Lee: Nice counter earlier, you almost got me, but you overestimate yourself.

Tsuruko: I was wondering why you would continue fighting me? You know you can't win against me.

Lee: That's my line.

Tsuruko: I'm not sorry I took it...Boulder Cutting Blade: 2nd Form (the ki blast barely effects Lee)!

Lee: If that's your best you're better off giving up.

Tsuruko: You haven't seen my best yet (prepares her next attack).

Lee: (holds up the bludgeon) Funny, I never transformed my weapon during a short time so congratulate yourself.

Tsuruko: I guess it's because I'm doing well (smirks).

Lee: Actually, it's because of that counter attack from earlier (transforms the bludgeon into a scythe).

Tsuruko: (eyes glowing) Bring it on (charges)!

Lee: (twirls the scythe really fast, Tsuruko jumps and Lee throws the scythe at her, she flipped to avoid the weapon and descended at top speed to attack Lee) {Heh, the scythe will come back.}

Tsuruko: Shin Lightening Blade...

Lee: Not this weak-ass move again!

Tsuruko: ...Second Form!

Lee: WHAT?!

(The Ki blast caused an explosion and Lee flew into a bunch of rocks causing a bunch of dust to kick up.)

Tsuruko: Hope that taught you something (giggles). I guess you were no match for...(gets hit in the left arm by the scythe, which flew where Lee landed) {Damn, that spinning scythe must have severed some nerves in my dominate arm...I-I can't use it!

Lee: {You bet your ass you can't.} (A laser emerges from the dust, but Tsuruko dodged it.)

Tsuruko: What (Lee emerges from the dust)?!

Lee: You are finished (fires lasers at Tsuruko, but the laser had no effect on her and she charged at her opponent).

Tsuruko: Hundred Profusion Strike (Lee jumped over Tsuruko and fired a shot at her back)! Oh no you don't (jumps to avoid the shot).

Lee: (lands and turns to see Tsuruko already almost upon him. He cocks and fires the gun) Take this!

Tsuruko: That won't hurt me (send a Ki blast that knocks the gun away, but her sword also got knocked away by the laser)! What the hell (Lee appears behind Tsuruko and punched the kendo chick in the face, sending her flying to where his gun is and Lee picked up her sword)?

Lee: This is like the final episode of Cowboy Bebop.

Tsuruko: (smirks) I know.

Lee: Ready?

Tsuruko: Yeah.

(They both threw each other's weapons to each other, then Lee set the gun to eradicate, cocked and fired at Tsuruko's right shoulder, while Tsuruko slashed Lee's chest.)

(After a minute Lee fell to the ground.)

Tsuruko: (badly injured but keeps her composure) You were good kid, but as long as I'm around you'll always be second best (sheaths her sword and walks towards the dojo).

Lee: (gets up) Care to repeat that? I was too busy playing opossum.

Tsuruko: (turns to see Lee baldy injured as well) What do you mean playing opossum?

Lee: (transforms the laser gun back into a sword) I have been using only 20% of my power.

Tsuruko: You got to be kidding!

Lee: Let me show you the power of rejuvenation (within a short time all of Lee's injures were healed).

Tsuruko: What? Noway!

Lee: (heals Tsuruko) Do you know what I just did?

Tsuruko: (Surprised) Y-y-you healed yourself and me...but why me?

Lee: I want you at your best when I go all out.

Tsuruko: (smirks) So you are finally getting serious.

Lee: Yes I am. You will be the first person in this dimension to witness the max power of this form. First you'll see and then you might die (powers up and dragon wings appeared, the tail was now spiked, eyes glowed blood red and now he had fangs).

Tsuruko: Hey, I thought you going to be in your human form.

Lee: This is my human form. The wings, fangs and tail are just an extension of my power, they are for intimidating people and I look so cool this way.

Tsuruko: (ready to attack) What the hell are you anyway?

Lee: (gives a disturbing look) Your executioner (powers up like in DBZ minus the screaming).

(Middle of Kyoto)

Su: Hey Motoko, Sarah.

Motoko & Sarah: Yes?

Su: We have arrived at Kyoto...ten minutes ago.

Motoko: AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?!!

Su: You didn't ask.

Motoko: (sees something weird) Check it out!

Sarah: Let me see!

(They all see flashes of red and black colored light.)

Motoko: Lee has got to be there. {So is my sister.}

Su. Let's go!

(Back at the dojo)

Lee: I wonder how long you are gonna last now that I'm maxed out?

Tsuruko: A lot longer than you think (slashes at Lee's chest, but all she hit was air). What, he's gone?

Lee: (appears behind Tsuruko) What wrong (powers up and Tsuruko goes flying, but manages to land on her feet, Lee fired an energy blast at her, but then she jumps to avoid an blast)?

Tsuruko: Boulder Cutting...(Gets punched from her right side by a psychotic looking Lee and sent flying into a bunch of rocks.) Ow.

Lee: (kicks the kendo chick in the back sending her back to where she was) {I'm gonna enjoy this.} (Punches and kicks her around like a pinball and after 4 minutes he punches her into the ground.) Get up!

Tsuruko: Coming (jumps out of the crater, looking a little injured but now has that psychotic look on her face)!

Lee: (disappears and reappears 50 feet away) C'MON IF YOU DARE!!!

Tsuruko: {Damn, he's so fast...I-I couldn't track him!}

Lee: What's wrong? I thought the great Tsuruko was the best swordsman to enter and exit the God's Cry School...or was all that bullshit?

Tsuruko: (pissed) {That's it.} YOU'RE DEAD (charges)!!! Cutting Evil: Second Form (Lee dodges the ki blast, but Tsuruko started slashing at him repeatedly and he just dodged them all with ease)! Take this (swings at his legs, but he jumped over the woman and landed ten feet away with his back to her)!

Lee: (smirks) Is that it?

Tsuruko: NO (charges)! Tsuruko...(Lee elbows her in her left eye, jacking up a few cords so now she can't see out of it.) MY EYE!!! YOU BASTARD YOU DESTROYED MY EYE!!!

Lee: (turns and see Tsuruko bleeding from that eye) That should be no problem for you. Surely you can fight blind or should I say half blind?

Tsuruko: I'll get you (charges)!

Lee: Do all of you God's Cry Shit-heads just charge over and over again (the kendo psycho jumped before she reached Lee)?

Tsuruko: Shin Lightening Blade: Second Form (Lee jumps into the Ki blast unaffected by the attack at all)! WHAT THE FUCK (flies through the blast, while pointing his sword at the warrior)?!

Lee: Got you (stabs through Tsuruko's left arm)!

Tsuruko: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Lee: (sends the lady flying by swinging the sword upward) Taste my Crescent Blast (swings the sword again and a crescent beam flew at Tsuruko and made contact.)! Time to go old school (metallic claws emerge from his right wrist reaching 7 feet)! Listen up bitch! This attack is ten years old let's see how you deal with this (extends the claws at Tsuruko who just stopped ascending)!

Tsuruko: (opens her eyes) What (the claws plunge into Tsuruko's chest)?! {Hey, why didn't I feel pain? Why am I not dying?}

Lee: {That's because the claws don't kill unless I wish it to.} (Starts electrocuting Tsuruko)

(A.N.: One of Lee's favorite attacks is that last attack...it doesn't have a name. Very few people can get out of that lock and only Renegade has been able to successfully counter it.)

Tsuruko: YOU BASTARD (manages to pull herself free of the claws and starts running on them)!!!

Lee: {Somehow I figured she would do that.} (Retracts the claws and blocks Tsuruko's strike) You're slowing down (fires lasers from his eyes, but somehow Tsuruko managed to roll away).

Tsuruko: Cutting...

Lee: No you don't (fires a ki blast from his hand sending the kendo lady 8 feet, but she lands on her feet)!

Tsuruko: Shin...

Lee: {Not this again!}

Tsuruko: (charges and stops right in front of him) Lightening Blade (of the attack connected since it was at point blank range, Tsuruko jumped away from the dust and slumped over in fatigue)! I can't keep this up. At this rate I'll pass out or bleed to death from wounds.

Lee: (emerges from the dust looking very demonic) It's time to put this to rest (makes the same pose Goku makes when he does his kamehameha wave).

Tsuruko: (watches energy form into a red ball of light) {Oh no what is he doing now?}

Lee: APOCALYPSE DESTROYER (fires the energy at the badly injured Tsuruko)!!!

Tsuruko: {Now is my chance.} (Runs on the energy wave)

Lee: DAMMIT, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T RUN ON (increases the power and Tsuruko got engulfed in the blast and stops the attack 10 seconds later)?! Are you okay?

Tsuruko: (struggles to get up) Fine (manages to stand). {It's time for the 3rd form of the Shin Lightening Blade.} Time for my final attack (charges max speed)! SHIN...

Lee: DARK BLADE (holds his sword up and a 20' aura of his blade appeared)!!!

Tsuruko:...LIGHTENING BLADE: THIRD FORM (about to send a strong ki blast)!!!

Lee: YOU'RE DONE (slashes the kendo woman right before she fully executed the attack and she flew through three trees and face planted)!!!!

{It's time to take the remaining fight you have left.} (Sticks his sword into the ground and an explosion occurred where Tsuruko was struggling to get up)

Tsuruko: (flying through the air) {I see why Motoko couldn't beat this guy.} (sees Lee coming at her really fast) {Damn, I can't move!}

Lee: Finisher (does one quick slash that made contact with Tsuruko)! This match is over (Tsuruko falls to the ground unconscious and lucky as hell to be alive). I'm out of here, I got my challenge (about to leave when Motoko's other sisters showed up). What is this open mike night (sheaths his sword and sends ki blasts in all directions sending all of them flying into the dojo as well as everything else and the shock left them unconscious)? {See ya next time Tsuruko.} (Reverts back to normal and teleports)

(At the blimp)

Su: I don't see the flashes anymore.

Lee: (appears behind Su) That's because the battle is over.

Motoko: ALREADY?!!

Sarah: Was there ever a doubt?

Lee: That fight wasn't hard at all, just frustrating. Now let's go home.

Su: Aye, aye, Captain (turns the blimp around and heads back to Kanagawa)!

(Back at Hinata House)

Mutsumi: I can't believe the author didn't put me in this story until now.

Naru: Trust me, this story is torture.

Shinobu: That's because he hates you.

Naru: Fuckin' self-inserts.

To Be Continued

Antics: Preview

Keitaro: What's the next chapter about?

Lee: Hmm, I don't know...maybe the author can tell us.

Lee3: (appears) Weird shit with an ironic ending.

Kitsune: Is it funny?

Lee3: Depends on the readers, but I won't reveal any more information to you guys (leaves).

Keitaro: That doesn't help.

Lee: We'll just have to wait, if he revealed too much information then the readers might not want to read the next chapter.

Kitsune: Yeah, this isn't a movie trailer you know.

Keitaro: I know.

I hope you all enjoyed that chapter because I enjoy writing it last year and making changes while typing it this year. You know what to do from here. I'll make sure I have a funnier Antics short next chapter. Until then see you next time.