Lee3: Guess what everyone?

Naru: (sarcastic) You are about to die?

Lee3: No! There are only four chapters left in this fanfic!

Naru: Yaaaaaaaaaaay (gets knocked out by a masked reader)!

Lee3: Well someone hated that cheer!

Masked Reader: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Lee3: Yeah, there are only four chapters left.

Masked Reader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Lee3: Don't worry dude, I'm planning on writing a continuation.

Masked Reader: Really?

Lee3: Yes, but first I need to finish working on my Excel-Saga and Soul Caliber II fics (Masked Reader falls anime style). Don't worry the Excel-Saga fic will probably be short, but the Soul Caliber fic might take longer since I haven't played the game in a while due to my House-sitting job, plus I want to put some depth into the story.

Masked Reader: (gets up) I guess I can wait, after all patience is a virtue. Just hurry up with those dammit!

Lee3: You know you just gave away your identity don't you?

Masked Reader: Uuuuuuuuuhhhh.

Lee3: Anyway, on with the disclaimer. You all should know which character(s) I own. I don't own the Love Hina series or the characters. If I did then Naru would die in every volume in the manga and every episode in the anime. That masked reader I used to conceal the identity of one of my most favorite readers.

Warning: This chapter might be confusing to some of you readers just bare with me here. ( ) expresses action and scene changes. { } expresses thought.

Masked Reader & Lee3: RUN IT!!!!

Three Crazy Nights

It is 3:00 am at the Hinata House and Sarah and Shinobu are on the roof watching Kaolla Su dance. Why is Su dancing you may ask? It is because of the red moon that is out tonight.

Sarah: Watching Su dance can get enchanting after awhile.

Shinobu: True, I do enjoy watching her latest dance, but it makes me want to do things to Keitaro.

Sarah: {Naughty things I assume.}

Su: (finishes her dance and looks onward to see something in front of the dorm) Hey guys check this out!

Sarah: (walks to where Su is standing with Shinobu close behind) What is....

Shinobu: What's wrong Sarah, you look like you've just seen...(sees a 400ft. red and black colored dragon sleeping in front of the dorm) DRAGON!!!

Su: I want to get a closer look (jumps off the roof).

Sarah: C'mon Shinobu, lets go meet up with Su.

Shinobu: Wait Sarah!

(Two minutes later the three girls stood a few inches away from the giant lizard.)

Shinobu: I-is it going to eat us?

Sarah: As long as Su doesn't change back into...herself and wakes the goth dragon up we should be fine.

(The clouds cover the moon and Su reverts back into her normal silly self.)

Su: Oh, such a cute dragon (starts touching, poking and hitting the dragon).

Sarah: Ack!

Shinobu: Don't.

Su: It's okay it's sleeping like a rock.

Sarah: Cool, let's play with it.

Su: Woohoo!

Shinobu: I still disagree with this, but what the hell.

(After messing with the thing for two hours the girls fell asleep outside the dorm. Now it's 7:00 am and the girls awoke to find the dragon gone. While wondering what happened to it, the trio went inside to find everyone except Lee in the front room watching the news.)

Shinobu: What's going on?

Naru: You guys won't believe this.

Tama: Myuh (cranks up the volume).

Reporter on TV: Last night at 12:00 midnight marked the two and a half hours of hell!

Keitaro: Quiet everyone this is it!

Reporter 1: In Tokyo a 400ft. dragon destroyed half of the city. There was mass destruction everywhere and people were shocked, by how one of our reporters was killed by the monster (shows the footage of a female reporter getting squashed). You will be in our hearts in Suzuka.

Lee: (enters the room) Hi everyone (looks at the news footage). Oh, that explains why I woke up naked in front of the dormitory at 5 in the morning.

Motoko: (gasped) ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE DRAGON THAT DESTROYED HALF OF TOKYO SEVEN HOURS AGO WAS YOU?!!

Lee: (nonchalant) I'm not gonna lie to you, yes I am.

Motoko: I-I-I...

Lee: Yeah I know you hate me, step off bitch.

Keitaro: Hey check this out!

Anchor Lady: Despite the tragedy, most people got a kick out of this.

Reporter 6: Tragic, almost like in a Godzilla movie.

Dragon: (excited) GODZILLA WHERE (turns around and Reporter 6 was hit by the dragon's tail)?!! You all have Godzilla in this dimension?! That is tight!

(All the residents stare at Lee)

Lee: (embarrassed) I'm a Godzilla fan and so the spirits in my body okay?

Kitsune: Look on the bright side: at least you didn't go berserk when you found out Godzilla doesn't exist in this world.

Anchor Lady: And now we are going to show what happened when the dragon found out Godzilla doesn't exist in this world.

Dragon: YOU LYIING BASTARDS DIIIIEEEEEE (fires energy blasts from all over its body in all directions)!!!

Lee: (even more embarrassed) I am so glad I don't have much of a memory of what happened while I'm in that form.

Keitaro: Man, you're like Vash the Stampede.

Mutsumi: (appears out of nowhere) Is it because he's handsome and an oddity?

Lee: {Thanks...I guess.}

Keitaro: No, because everywhere he goes, trouble follows him.

Lee: (nonchalant) He's right...and quit jacking off when you see Naru's huge rack.

Keitaro: I AM N...(gets punched by Naru)!!

Lee: {Heh, that gag never gets old.} Oh well, I guess it's time for another installment of... (insert stupid music here) "Lee's Long-ass Explanation"!

Kitsune: Let me guess you transform under a red moon too.

Lee: For a year and a half this has been happening. I usually change into a werewolf the first night, vampire the second, and that Dark Dragon the third night.

Unfortunately, that order isn't "chronological" this time so I barely have an idea which transformation is next.

Naru: Is that good news?

Lee: Yeah, the worst is over. I can change into a lot of dragons, dinosaurs and whatnot, but the dragon you all saw I haven't gotten control of that transformation yet. Mainly because that spirit is defiant and that is why I transform into that thing last.

Sarah: Well what is next?

Lee: Most likely the Wolf.

Naru: (getting snotty) How do you know that?

Lee: Because Tit-wit, if I was transforming into a vampire next the transformation would have already started. For the record, I don't change into one of those lame-ass werewolves from the movies. I'm talking about a werewolf that will look like a wolf.

Keitaro: So you transform into a 7' wolf that walks on two legs or something?

Lee: 7'9" to be exact and I can walk on all fours as well. {Damn, he's pretty sharp for a dumbass...hey, when did he get back from orbit?}

Motoko: (arrogant) So what? When that happens we'll just stop you with silver.

Lee: Unfortunately...

Motoko: (face faults) {I always hate when he says that.}

Lee: ...I'm immune to silver. When you see me in that form, don't attack me. In fact leave me alone.

All the residents: Aye, Aye.

Lee: {They are not gonna take heed to this warning are they?}

(That Night)

While Su is dancing on the roof, Lee is walking around the dorm looking for something to eat due to the fact that he slept through lunch, dinner and his transformation.

Lee: {I wonder if I transformed already?} (Looks down at the door frame) {Yep, I did.} (Got on all fours and walked downstairs phasing through any part of the doorframe he might have hit, then he ran into Keitaro)

Keitaro: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lee: Yeah, yeah, let it....

Keitaro: {throws various objects at the giant wolf) Die monster die!

Lee: (punches Keitaro so hard he flew through a wall and lost consciousness) {What a dumbass.} (Walks into the kitchen and knocks Kitsune out of the way, then he started eating whatever food he found while Shinobu crept closer to the wolf. Why she's there is beyond common sense)

Shinobu: (trembling) Uuuuhhhh, Lee?

Lee: (stops eating and looks at Shinobu) Didn't I tell you morons to leave me alone when I am in this form?

Shinobu: Uuuuuuhhh, y-yes.

Lee: (stands on two legs) Please go, I'm more violent when I'm like this (trying to restrain the violent instincts).

Shinobu: You're s-s-scaring me.

Lee: Go now (Shinobu just stands there)! DAMMIT SHINOBU MOVE YOUR ASS (About to scratch her to death when Motoko struck him from behind. Lee just turned and looked at Motoko with a gaze that would make Tsuruko shit her Hakama)

Motoko: You like that? {Oh shit I'm gonna die.}

Lee: (snarls at her) I'm getting really pissed off.

Motoko: Let's see if you can take a piss after this (slides and tries to stab Lee in the crotch, but the sword broke on impact.).)! NOT AGAIN!!!!

Lee: {Cool, I got an groin impervious to attacks...why do I feel like one those Dragon Ball Z/GT fighters right now?} (Looks to see Shinobu and Motoko gone and Kitsune...passed out drunk.) {I think I'll go see Su right now, at least she is carefree no matter if something good or bad happens.}

(On the roof)

(Su just finished her dance and Lee phased through the roof.)

Lee: Yo Su.

Su: (sees the transformed kid) Hello Lee.

Lee: (confused) Hello Lee? I was expecting a "hello doggie, cute doggie" and to a lesser extent "heyas, heyo, or okies".

Su: Are you gonna explain why you're up here or are you gonna do bad impersonations of me?

Lee: {This girl acts normal under this moon.} I needed to talk to someone that wouldn't attack me. You wanna go for a walk?

Su: Okies.

Lee: (Gets on all fours) All aboard.

Su: (hops on his back) Ready.

Lee: {At least she didn't say giddyap.} We're outta here (jumps off the roof and runs at super speed)!

Sarah: (watched everything from a distance) Oh no, he's going to eat Su! I've gotta tell the others.

(Inside)

Kitsune: Your sword broke again?!

Motoko: Yes, it broke again.

Keitaro: You stabbed him in the nuts and the blade broke...that is wrong on so many levels.

Naru: Well look on the bright side...at least he's not gonna eat anybody (smiles).

Shinobu: Naru, is right, just think positive everyone!

Sarah: (come running) Everyone, Lee made off with Su and he's going to eat her!

Mutsumi: (appears out of nowhere smiling) Oh my, the situation just got worse huh?

Keitaro: (annoyed) Are you enjoying yourself?

Mutsumi: (nods) Uh huh.

Naru: {That girl has got to be smoking marijuana.}

(Interrupt Fanfic)

Lee3: (holds a flag that says "okies" on it) Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyy! I finally got the chance to use the word "okies", oh what a glorious day this is (the readers are cheering)! Now let's get back to the fic (the readers face fault and fall over).

(Somewhere outside of Tokyo)

(Lee is running around throughout Tokyo with Su on his back.)

Su: Yahooooooooo!

Lee: You enjoying yourself?

Su: Yes I am!

Lee: This is great, just you, me...

Su: That flying machine waiting for us at the bridge.

Lee: What (sees a weird flying mini ship high above the bridge)?

Su: Who do you think it is?

Lee: I think I know whom it is, hey author!

Lee3: I'm on it...since I'm still in a SA2 Battle mood, how about I play the theme from the first boss in the Hero and Dark stories.

Lee: Do it (music starts playing)!

(In the aircraft)

Renegade: Ready for payback?

Angelica: Yes I am lover!

Renegade: I'm not your lover! Now let's just kill them!

Angelica: Roger that! {My one and only love.}

(The ship left it's position and headed towards Lee and Su)

(Back on the ground)

Su: You mean that Bounty Hunter from the Big Rig is back?

Lee: Looks like it, but this time she brought her older brother Renegade who is the brain and brawn of their brother/sister team.

Su: Then what is she?

Lee: The crazy psycho-bitch that is in love with her brother.

Su: I love my big brother!

Lee: {Yes and you would probably fuck him the first chance you got.}

Su: Let's get 'em!

Renegade: Bounties sighted, attempting capture for eventual destruction.

Angelica: (Does some lame poses) Attack, attack, attack, ahahahahahahahahaha (fires missiles)!

Lee: Hold on Su (runs to avoid the missiles while the aircraft passed over them).

Renegade: I'm gonna use the gun.

Angelica: Did you load the silver bullets into the gun?

Renegade: (annoyed) Where were you during reconnaissance? Only Golden Bullets with that special acid in them will hurt Lee even while he is in that form you retard!

Angelica: (coos) Oh fire my love, fire!

Renegade: (groans) Just shut the fuck up and help me kill him!

Lee: (turns around) It's making another pass.

Su: (pulls out a Photon Blaster) I'm on it!

Lee: {Where did that gun come from?} Okay Su, fire at will (Su does just that, but the aircraft is dodging the shots).

Angelica: I guess they didn't know how maneuverable this machine is.

Renegade: Time for a counterstrike (fires the gun).

Lee: Oh shit (evades the gunfire).

Su: Are those golden bullets?

Lee: Yeah, and they contain a type of acid that can kill me (charges at the aircraft).

Su: What are you doing?

Lee: I gonna disable that gun, while you destroy the Missile Launchers!

Su: I got it; I'll wait for you to get in close.

Renegade: TIME TO DIE!!!

Angelica: What happens if Lee gets too close to the gun?

Renegade: Don't worry little sister I'll shoot him full of acidic bullet-holes before that happens.

Angelica: (blushing) {Oh big brother, so smart, so brave, and so cool!}

Renegade: STOP STARING AT ME WITH HEARTS IN YOUR EYES (fires the gun)!!!

Lee: (Gets hit by a lot of bullets) {Dammit!}

Su: Lee!

Lee: I'm fine, just focus on the launchers (Leaps at the gun, while Su jumps off Lee's back, Lee bit the gun and Su landed on the cockpit and immediately fired at the launchers destroying them.)!

Angelica: That bitch just destroyed the Missile Bays!

Renegade: Who cares (pushes a button and Photon Blasters replaced the Missile Bays)?! Bye, bye Kaolla Su (Su jumped off right before the blasters fired, Lee on the other hand already ate the gun, spat the bullets at the aircraft and saved Su when he saw her jump off.) Goddammit!

Angelica: What's wrong lover?

Renegade: Lee ate the gun (an explosion occurs from the underside of the aircraft)! What the hell?

Angelica: Lee also totaled the main engine (another blowout occurs from above)! Yikes, it also looks like that foreign chick destroyed the blasters (Renegade gets rid of the blasters)!

Renegade: I just jettisoned the blasters and replaced them with turbines (fires them up).

Angelica: (grabs her brother's crotch) Power to turbines...

Renegade: (bitch-slaps his sister) Turbines to speed.

Su: I thought that after the Photon Blasters, the weird gun and the main engine were out of commission so would the whole aircraft.

Lee: (stoic) They have backups on their backups, I don't know what they are planning to do with those turbines, but I'm not gonna wait to find out. Su, I need you...

Su: To get off?

Lee: Yes, What I am about to do might get you killed.

Su: (complies) Don't die, if you do I'll have one less playmate.

Lee: (makes the "You're Kidding" look) You have Sarah who mimics you and you have Keitaro and Motoko to cling to.

Su: (smiles) So? I care about all my friends.

Lee: Thanks (sees the ship make another pass). Su, if I'm not back in five minutes...keep waiting (charges at the ship).

Su: {If he somehow dies I hope I get a good explosion out of this.}

Renegade & Angelica: You're finished (fires an arsenal of weapons...what's left of them anyway)!

Lee: Jumps onto the cockpit) I've had enough of you two.

Angelica: We're sick of you too! If we weren't after the money, we'd kill your black-ass.

Lee: Look fuckers, your vacation might be over, but mine isn't.

Renegade: You think we give a rat's ass?!

(An energy blast came from Lee's breath)

Angelica: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Renegade: OH GOD NO!!!!

(Both bounty hunters were destroyed as well as the airship.)

Su: (watches the wrecked machine sink into the bay) Wonder where Lee went?

(One minute later)

(Lee jumps out of the water and onto the bridge. Then he dries himself the way dogs do.)

Lee: Sorry about the wait, I had to make sure those two were dead.

Su: Did you bring back any bananas?

Lee: They didn't have any, but I stole the remaining parts of their ship. I think I could use them for something (gets on all fours). Shall we go?

Su: Yeah, yeah (gets on)!

Lee: Good, because the cops are coming (starts running again).

(Ten minutes later at Hinata House)

Shinobu: (starts to cry) Poor Su.

Keitaro: So young, so innocent...

Naru: So full of life, so...

Kitsune: Childish?

Naru: Yeah.

Motoko: She always clanged to me and I enjoyed it even though I acted liked I didn't.

(A/N: Oh man, the clichéd lines are killing me!)

Mutsumi: Um, I don't think she's dead.

Sarah: What do you mean?

Mutsumi: If Lee abducted Su just to eat her wouldn't he be back by now...alone?

Kitsune: Yeah so?

Mutsumi: So why is he in the front lobby talking to Su?

Everyone else: WHAT (everyone rushes to the lobby to see Su, who is now back to normal and Lee, who is still a 7'9" Werewolf)?!

Su: Too bad when clouds cover the red moon you don't change back to normal or as normal as you'll get.

Lee: (annoyed) Actually, I enjoy it (sees the others). Yo, wassup Hinata Dorks?

Sarah: Are you okay?

Naru: Did that bastard hurt you?

Shinobu: I'm happy you're not eaten!

Su: (smiles) Eaten, is that a food (everyone minus Lee falls over)?

Lee: {What a bunch of idiots.} Wait a minute, you all thought I was gonna eat Su?!

Everyone: Yes.

Lee: I might be more violent in this form, but I wouldn't eat anybody, unless they were my enemy (glares at Naru).

Naru: {Oooooooohhhh dear.}

Motoko: Lee, on behalf of everyone...

Lee: Save it, you all have one crazy night left. I'm going to sleep (walks up the stairs).

Sarah: Boy, do I feel stupid.

Keitaro: That's an understatement.

Sarah: Who asked you (a huge pot hit Sarah in the back of her head, knocking her out and a Badger statue hit Naru knocking her out and bleeding from her head)?!

(Everyone still conscious sees Lee standing in the stairway.)

Lee: That's what Sarah gets for making a horrible assumption and I knew Naru would react to that assumption and I knew Naru would react to that shit, that's why I knocked out my Prankster Princess and Keitaro's bitch of a love interest.

Shinobu: But why did you use a Badger statue on Naru?

Lee: Because it's clichéd, its fuckin' clichéd as hell. We don't need no stinkin' badgers and I don't need to deal with a fickle retard like Naru tonight.

Keitaro: Apart of that last line was clichéd.

Lee: (glares at Keitaro) Shut up pussy!

Keitaro: (scared as hell) DON'T HURT ME PLEASE!!!!

(Interrupt fic)

Lee3: (tired) Damn I need a break.

Taki& Espio: (make some ninja pose) You lack focus.

Lee3: Okay, who invited the Ninja Chameleon and the Big Tit Ninja?

Su: I did.

Lee3: Why the hell did you do that?

Su: It's for the Soul Caliber fic you're working on!

Lee3: I've only finished writing (as in pen and paper) the first chapter and I'm not going to continue with it until I'm done with typing the last few chapters of this fic!

Su: Oh.

Lee3: Espio, why are you here?

Espio: I don't know.

Lee3: Well get back to the Chaotix (Espio leaves)!

Taki: I think I'll go too.

Lee3: Actually, you stay. I want to show you my Torture Chamber I mean Room!

Taki: Why?

Su: He's nau...(Lee throws her into a wall).

Lee3: I'm just trying to be nice.

Taki: Uh no (Lee3 shoots her with a traq gun and the ninja fell unconscious).

Lee3: (picks up Taki) Let's go on to the rest of the chapter...LET'S FINISH THIS OFF!!!

(The Next Morning)

Motoko: (awakes with a note on her face) {What is this?} (reads the note)

Motoko,

Get the plan ready for tonight.

Lee

Motoko: {Alright.}

(Two hours later)

Keitaro: (Runs into the girl's bath) Everyone, Lee left note...! Oh bloody hell.

Naru & Motoko: YOU IDIOT (beats up Keitaro)!!!

Kitsune: What did he say?

Keitaro: (gets up) He left a note.

Shinobu: Let's see it.

Yo Hinata Retards,

My vampire transformation has already started like I said it would two days ago. I'm going to suck as much blood as I can so I won't have to come after you all with as much intensity, if at all. Do what you need to do to prepare and remember: Garlic, sunlight, crosses, stakes and anything that would normally kill a Vampire WON'T WORK ON ME!!!

Lee

(Motoko winks at Kitsune and she nodded her head.)

(Elsewhere)

Lee: I wonder if I remembered to mention my fast metabolism...? Aw they'll figure it out.

(Throughout the rest of the day the Hinata Crew prepared for the "Worst Case Scenario" and Lee spent the day sucking blood from animals and women who walked into a dark alley (he doesn't bite men). Now it's 7:00pm and Lee is at Hinata Café.)

Haruka: So that's what going down tonight?

Lee: (stoic) Yeah (chugs the tea) I'm surprised they didn't tell you.

Haruka: Ah, to be young.

Lee: Haruka, you're what 26? You're not that much older than me and I'm 19...think about it.

Haruka: Hmm, so tell me are you secretly planning something and that vamp transformation is a ruse to hide it?

Lee: Yes, I am planning to scare someone shitless, but I won't say who it is.

Haruka: You want the readers to figure it out?

Lee: I'm hoping they figure it out before this fic ends. Oh and by the way (whispers), Seta is in on it, but I need you to make it work.

Haruka: What do I have to do?

Lee: I told Seta not to hit on you until after this scare was over so you should be able to tolerate him.

Haruka: That doesn't answer my...

Lee: Let me bite your neck.

Haruka: (shocked) WHAT?!

Lee: Don't worry I won't take much, I promise.

Haruka: How long?

Lee: Judging by your height, weight and athletic ability...fifteen seconds.

Haruka: That's all?

Lee: Yep.

Haruka: (reluctant) Okay.

Lee: (advances towards Haruka) You should feel pain for the first 5 seconds.

Haruka: Thanks for the warning.

Lee: (bites Haruka and starts the 15 second meal) {Damn, that is good blood.}

(15 seconds later)

Haruka: (still conscious) I feel weird.

Lee: That's how you're supposed to feel, because you will be a vampire until midnight (gives Haruka a piece of paper). That says where Seta will be, meet with him and do to him what I did to you and he'll fill in the blanks for this plan (starts to depart). Oh and remember you are not a normal vamp so you have no weaknesses (leaves).

Haruka: {This should be fun. I guess I should get going.} (Prepares to close up shop)

(8:05pm)

Lee: (standing outside Hinata House, puts on a black coat like in the Matrix.) Showtime. (Fangs exposed and glowing red eyes the spotted Mutsumi right beside him)

Mutsumi: (stands there and smiles like an idiot) Um hello.

Lee: I was going to bite Motoko first, but I guess you'll do because of the convenience (bites Mutsumi before she could react, all she could do was faint).

(In Hinata House)

Keitaro: Everyone ready?

All the girls: Yeah!

Keitaro: Hey, Su and Sarah are the traps set?

Su & Sarah: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Lee: (appears from behind Motoko) What traps?

Keitaro: OH SHIT!!!

Lee: Hey losers (grabs Motoko).

Motoko: Let go!

Lee: (shows his fangs) No.

Naru: You're mine (advances towards Lee, but he just screams and everyone else goes flying, then Lee went and plunged his fangs into the keno girl's neck).

(The other residents approached the vamp from all sides, but unfortunately Mutsumi showed up and her newly formed fangs were exposed.)

Mutsumi: Hello everyone, I'm a vampire (smiles).

Lee: (takes his fangs out of Motoko's neck and shoves her limp body into the ground.) What are doing standing there? BITE SOMEBODY (Mutsumi bites Lee's hand and Lee punched Mutsumi, sending her flying)!!! NOT ME DUMBASS!!!

Mutsumi: Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Lee: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? You're not supposed to enjoy that. You're supposed to be in pain (looks to find everyone else gone)! Where did everyone go? Awe who cares, at least I have Motoko (sees Motoko get up and pass out again). {Seta, Haruka you'd better hurry up.}

(In the Attic)

Keitaro: He already has two of us.

Sarah: Why didn't we attack him earlier?

Kitsune: Before or after his scream sent us flying into walls?

Sarah: After.

Kitsune: Fear.

Lee: (Distance away) Dammit, these traps suck!

Mutsumi: Oh my, how very poorly made.

Motoko: I made half of the traps you assholes.

(A/N: Wow, she just gave away everyone's position, how very stupid.)

Naru: Crap, they're already below us!

Su: Is that bad?

Sarah: It's not good.

Shinobu: This can't get any worse (Seta and Haruka appeared by using a passage from above)!

Everyone: Seta! Haruka!

Seta: Hey, what's up?

Haruka: We've been hearing screams and such from around the block.

Shinobu: It's terrible, horrific and very bad!

(A/N: Wow, was that redundant or what?)

Sarah: Yeah, Lee has become a vampire and he has Mutsumi and Motoko!

Seta: Don't worry about that (smiles).

Sarah: What do you mean daddy?

Haruka: He told us about his transformation.

Naru: I don't like where this is going!

Keitaro: Seta, Haruka, you both look really pale.

Haruka: (sounding demonic) Really now?

Su: (giggling) Look, she's making a funny face.

Shinobu: (annoyed) That is not a funny face.

Seta: (follows suit) What's wrong with Haruka's face?

Sarah: (getting scared) Your scaring me daddy (both Haruka's and Seta's eyes glowed).

Haruka: Don't be scared nephew it's just me.

Keitaro: I think being scared is a good thing.

Su: I got it!

Kitsune: Got what?

Su: (smiles) They're vampires too.

Everyone minus the vamps: WHAT?!

Seta: Took you guys long enough (gave everyone that glare that puts people in trances).

(Everyone ran off except Shinobu and Sarah who were both in a trance and eventually fell victim to Haruka's and Seta's bite.)

Keitaro: We just lost Sarah and Shinobu.

Naru: (looks back to see Su falling behind) Su, move your ass you don't want to get captured too.

Su: (stops) Don't worry I'm gonna hold them...(gets tackled by Lee and Motoko).

Keitaro: Dammit, Su is now one of them (the two not even semi-lovers hid in the Landlord's room)!

(In the hallway somewhere)

Lee: We got you now Kaolla.

Motoko: (makes that scary face when she's about the fight someone) Master, can I bite her please, please can I huh?

Lee: (stoic) Do it (the very excited Motoko did what she desired and after a minute it looked liked Su gave up and fell limp...or so they thought.).

Motoko: All we have left is Konno, Narusegawa, and Urashima.

Lee: You might wanna cancel that hit list because Su's getting up.

Motoko: What (Su latched onto Motoko and pulled her hair like it was some kind of game.)?! What the hell is going on? She's supposed to be our slave!

Lee: When you bit her and sucked her blood you half-assed it.

Motoko: Dammit, you're a man...GET TO THE POINT!!!

Lee: (annoyed) She's technically a vamp, but she's STILLTHE NUTCHASE she always has been.

Motoko: Get her off of me!

Su: Yahoo, I'm riding a horsy, giddyap horsy, giddyap!

Lee: {If Su ever gets impregnated by Keitaro...I don't want to imagine their kids.} (Grabs Su and pulls her off Motoko.) Only you can irritate vampires everywhere (bites Su and starts sucking her blood, then Motoko followed suit, but the odd girl just wouldn't stop flailing. Fortunately for them Mutsumi, Seta, Haruka, Shinobu and Sarah arrived.)!

Haruka: Having problems with the victim guys?

Lee: It's Su do the damn math!

Motoko: Yeah, are you going to help or are you gonna stand there (Sarah and Shinobu immediately flew at Su and bit her chest, but that wasn't stopping her.)?

Su: Eww, that looks like fun (got bit by Mutsumi, Haruka and Seta). Yay, now it's a party (passed out)!

Lee: Finally, she's down.

Seta: What do we do now?

Motoko: Why don't we regroup and then strike the two morons while they're in a false sense of security (everyone looks at Motoko). What?

Sarah: You actually had a good idea.

Motoko: Shut up (Su gets up and looks a Lee with glowing eyes).

Su: (stands up) I'm ready to do whatever you want me to do Master.

Lee: Perfect (sniffs the air). Naru and Keitaro are in the Landlord's Room and Kitsune is bathing in the hot spring. Su, you get the fun part of my plan, go get Kitsune.

Su: Yay (runs to the open air bath)!

Lee: The rest go to Naru's room and wait patiently, anyone who tries to escape via the passageway, have at them. I'm gonna go to Keitaro's room, blend in with the scenery and make the first strike at the right time.

Shinobu: Sounds good.

Sarah: Normally I would ask a question, but I think this plan speaks for itself.

Seta: What about Su and Kitsune?

Lee: They'll improvise.

(In the Landlord's Room)

(Naru and Keitaro are alone in a room together, which means that...no not sex, it means Keitaro is gonna get his ass kicked.)

Keitaro: Where's Kitsune?

Naru: Yeah, now that I think about it she got separated from us.

Keitaro: Wonder if she's been caught yet?

Kitsune: (from the lobby) Su, stop (falls down and Su lands on her)! No...no...no...AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Naru: She's caught now!

Keitaro: (caught up in one of those clichéd romance moments) Naru, if we don't make it...(tries to take Naru's hand, but accidentally touches her boobs) not again!

Naru: IDIOT (punches Keitaro)!!!

(Lee was in front of the door when Keitaro went through it, but the vamp stopped Keitaro and threw him back at Naru, who managed to get out of the way.)

Lee: You are both idiots (eyes glowing).

Naru: How did you know we were here?

Lee: Let me see: In this form I can smell blood, this is the only hiding place left you two morons could ever think of and you just punched Keitaro through the same door I was standing in front of, making a lot of noise. Isn't that right Su and Kitsune?

Kitsune & Su: (appeared behind Lee) Don't forget Naru's yelling.

Naru: (Points to the passageway they always use) Not yet.

Keitaro: That's right (jumps on the table and jumps to grab onto the edge of the hole)! Sayonara moron, Naru let's go!

(Keitaro removes the board, but found the other vampires looking at him with hunger in their eyes.)

Haruka: Greetings nephew.

Keitaro: Uh oh (gets grabbed by the other vamps). No, no, let me go...(gets pulled in) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sarah: You're next Naru Narusegawa (closes the hole)!

Naru: {Shit, now what do I do?}

Lee: {You could just give up.} (Naru gasps) {Oh, were you thinking to yourself?}

Naru: You asshole!

Lee: I'll give you a 30 second head start, after that you're ours got it?

Naru: Uuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh! I hate this (runs past them)!

Mutsumi: So we hunt then?

Lee: Yes.

Su: Yay, we hunt in...25 seconds!

Seta: Did we hear correctly?

Mutsumi: Yes you did.

Haruka: She's going up to the roof you know.

Lee: No shit Sherlock.

Keitaro: (gets up) Time is almost up.

Shinobu: Thanks for the reminder sempai.

Motoko: Where is that vile turtle Tama?

Mutsumi: Oh, she's on the roof.

Lee: (stoic) Let's go.

(On the roof)

Naru: Oh, Tama-chan, I'm so glad you're not...

Tama: (Turns around and looks at Naru with burning red eyes) Myah!

Naru: Oh no!

Tama: (shows fangs) Myah, MYAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (flies at Naru, but she ducks to evade it)!!!

Lee: (Appears from behind) Time is up (the others appear around her). All right, the others have arrived.

(Everyone was laughing maniacally at the terrified Naru.)

Naru: That's it you're all going down (charges at Lee, but Keitaro grabbed her from behind)! Dammit (turns and punches the so called pervert, but this time he didn't go anywhere, he didn't even flinch)!

(The others start closing in on Naru with hunger in their eyes.)

(A/N: Damn, I've become Captain Obvious.)

Sarah: What will you do?

Shinobu: You have nowhere to run.

Su: No where to hide.

Motoko: Your resistance is futile.

Mutsumi: You are ours for the taking.

Kitsune: Let's have a bite shall we?

Lee: ...Do I really have to say something?

Keitaro: Your punches are useless now.

Naru: (Starts freaking out) Not the clichéd lines again!! Why do you torment me like this Author?!

Lee3: Because I hate you, now shut the hell up and take your punishment!

Everyone: WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE (they hiss at Naru)!!!

Naru: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH (closes her eyes to await the worst)!!!!

(Silence)

(Naru opens her eyes to find the others laughing at her.)

Everyone minus Naru: FOOLED YOU!!!

Naru: WHAT?!

Lee: Yeah, in fact, I should be changing back to normal in a minute. You should have seen the look on your face (laughing). We really sold that shit (passes out)!

Naru: {What the hell?} C'mon get up (Lee doesn't move)! You are full of bullshit (sees the other residents get up and return to normal)!

Seta: (smirks) The plan worked perfectly.

Haruka: Yes (snickers), I agree.

Seta: Cool, now how about a...

Haruka: (punches Seta) See ya Seta.

Naru: Wait, you mean to tell me that this was all a joke?

Kitsune: Pretty good gag huh?

Motoko: Lee planned it and managed to get everyone in on it.

Naru: If you are all still alive then surely Lee...(sees him still out and now turning pale)

Su: Eww, is he dead?

Motoko: (checks his pulse and was shocked to find none) There is no pulse... as a matter of fact...he's dead.

Everyone: WHAT!?!

Naru: No, he's not dead...he's just messing with us right...right...RIGHT?!

To Be Continued

Antics: Why?

Naru: Why do you torment me?

Lee3: I already told you (pulls a rope and Naru falls into a trap door).

Naru: This reminds me of Excel-Saga!

Renegade: How come my sister and I were killed off?

Lee3: I hate you guys too.

Renegade: I can't believe this. That sucks. C'mon help a brother out (pulls a lever and Renegade got ejected)!

Angelica: So it's over no more scenes, no, no, no this can be. C'mon let me do another scene okay?

Lee3: If I wanted to hear someone beg, I would have watched Puni Puni Poemy again (pushes a button and a boxing glove hit Angelica through the ceiling.

Keitaro: Finally, some revenge for Naru's punches! I'm so hap...(slips on a banana peel) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (crashes into a wall)!!!

Lee3: Su, what have I told you about leaving bananas lying around for Keitaro to slip on?

Su: Make sure it leads Keitaro off a cliff.

Lee3: Exactly, even though Keitaro hitting the wall is good and funny. We are trying to see if Keitaro is immortal or not.

Shinobu: Are you trying to kill sempai?

Lee3: No (shoots Shinobu with a laser gun).

Shinobu: Ow! Are you still mad about..?

Lee3: Hell yeah.

Shinobu: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (runs like hell)!!!!

Lee3: (just stands there) I got over that crap a while ago.

Su: Is crap a food?

Lee3: (points to a bucket of shit) There is pile of human crap in that bucket...go eat it.

Su: Okay (happily eats shit)!

Kitsune: How long will it take for Su to realize what she's eating?

Lee3: She's never going to realize any of that.

Su: (smiles) All gone!

Kitsune & Lee3: (smells Su's breath) OH GOD...GET AWAY FROM US (runs off)!!!!

Su: What?

Mutsumi: Su, you smell.

Su: Is "smell" a food (Mutsumi falls over and so does the readers)?

Crazy End

Lee3: Well that's the end of that chapter.

Taki: That was confusing.

Motoko: I think it was supposed to be that way.

Lee3: Yeah, that was the idea.

Taki: Well, I'm out of here (leaves).

Motoko: Well what now?

Lee3: Simple we let the fans review.

Motoko: And if they don't?

Lee3: I'm not going to worry about it.

Motoko: What if you get flamed?

Lee3: If I get flamed I get flamed. It hasn't happened yet (holds a flame retardant shield).

Motoko: You're self-assured aren't you?

Lee3: That's what my mom told me earlier today. Anyway, review if you like everyone. I know this was a confusing chapter with an ironic ending, but like I said, it was intentional. See ya guys next chapter.