Friday, October 10th, 2003
6:13 pm
Yes Dwayne, I'm sure, Dani says, wedging the cordless phone between her ear and shoulder and tucking the back of her black t-shirt into well-worn blue jeans. I'm going to be staying in Las Vegas indefinitely.Forgive me for being confused, he replies carefully. But less than two weeks ago you said you thought you were coming back to D.C.I know, but running away won't solve anything. I tried it before. Dani opens the fridge and starts pulling various items out and setting them on the counter. It's time to try something different. And the truth of the matter is, this is my home.
Dwayne sighs. Well, for purely selfish reasons I'm sorry you changed your mind, but in the end, all I want is for you to be happy.Thank you for understanding.I'm going to be keeping an eye on you, he warns. Just because you're on the other side of the country doesn't mean I won't be checking in.
Dani laughs lightly. And I'll put the word out that you're relocating. See if I can help you out on the job front, Dwayne adds.
That's very sweet of you. Thanks.
The doorbell rings, interrupting the break in conversation.
Are you expecting someone? Dwayne asks, immediately suspicious.
Relax. It's probably Nick, Dani tells him as she pads barefoot over to the front door. As per Warrick's request, she checks the peephole. she adds as she unlocks the door and pulls it open.
he says with a wave. I got everything on the list. she says, covering the mouthpiece of the phone. C'mon in.I'm going let you go, Dwayne interjects. I'll talk to you soon, okay?
Nick kicks off his sneakers and follows Dani into the kitchen.
Alright. Take care.
Putting the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter, Nick studies Dani with a critical eye as she puts down the phone and starts unpacking one of the bags.
What's wrong?Oh, I had to tell Dwayne something that he really didn't want to hear, she says with a sigh.
Something bad?No. I told him I'm staying in Vegas. For good.
In an instant, Dani is enveloped in a hug that lifts her off the floor as an overjoyed Nick spins her around.
Okay, breathing becoming an issue, she squeaks.
Immediately the pressure is reduced and he sets her back on the floor.
Sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?It's okay. Dani grins. Tell me how you really feel.You don't know how scared I was, he admits. I was so worried that one morning I'd get a phone call saying that you'd gone back to D.C.I can imagine. Knowing just how close she'd come to leaving makes her stomach twinge.
So what did Warrick say when you told him? Nick asks suddenly.
Dani nibbles on her lower lip. He doesn't know yet. he asks incredulously.
I thought I'd save it until tomorrow.Well I can't think of a better birthday present, Nick adds with a smile. You know everybody's going to love it.I can agree with that, but they'll be less than thrilled if they have nothing to eat, Dani points out. So I need you to start chopping while I get these ribs going.Yes, boss!
Grinning, Nick digs into the grocery bags and pulls out some mushrooms. When he turns around, Dani points to cutting board with a knife all ready to go.
Thanks again for getting Warrick to trade shifts with you, she says. There's no way I could've done any of this without him knowing or on my own for that matter.Not a problem. He owed me one, Nick replies.
Several moments pass without conversation, but the silence is comfortable.
He worries about you, Nick says gently, maneuvering the knife in his hands to cut a mushroom into thin slices.
You'd think a state of the art security system would provide him with some piece of mind, Dani muses aloud, glancing over at him as she seasons several racks of ribs and places them in a large pan to sear. I'm perfectly safe.The night you were in surgery was hard on him. It was hard on all of us, of course, but he was in real trouble. I've never seen him that way.
Another moment of silence passes between them, this one full of tension.
I know, she replies softly.
So where did you get this recipe for ribs? Nick asks, changing the subject. I never saw my mom prepare them this way. Dani replies. Trust an Italian woman with four daughters to know how to cook.And Warrick still has no idea that you're planning this barbecue party for his birthday tomorrow?Nope. Completely in the dark.You're good, he says admiringly. You're very, very good.You have no idea, Dani teases.
Nick smirks. Oh, Dwayne had some interesting stories. Her jaw drops.
Oh yeah. Once we knew you were going to be okay, he was more than happy to share a couple of his favorites.Like what?Well there was the case report with the cross-dressing professor, a blow up doll and gross misuse of spa facilities, Nick reveals, his eyes wide with amazement. But I'm a little confused as to where the vacuum cleaner and the blow torch came in.Oh God! Don't make me laugh, Dani begs, pressing a hand over the bottom of her ribcage. It pinches. I swear I've still got a stitch in there.Maybe they threw a extra one in when they sewed you back up.Yeah, for all the good it did. That coughing spell a few days later split me right open.That's odd. Diane called it a panic attack, Nick says mildly, grabbing a slice of mushroom and popping it into his mouth as Dani freezes in place.
Silence.
I came by the hospital one morning and she told me, he adds. In her defense, she had no idea that I knew nothing about it.
Finally Dani looks over at Nick who is patiently waiting.
I don't like hospitals, she says softly. We've got a bad history that goes back a long way.How far back? he asks gently, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Dani takes a breath and exhales slowly. Swallowing hard, she turns off the burners under the pan of ribs, takes Nick's hand and nods towards the living room.
Let's sit down.
Once they are settled on the couch, she folds her hands in her lap and begins to speak.
My mom was young when she met my father on a family vacation in California. A few weeks and a summer romance later she was back in New York. Times were different then. It was 1973. She was Catholic, estranged from her parents and pregnant. She was barely eighteen years old when she had me.I had no idea, Nick interjects softly. You've never talked about your family.Toxemia, a difficult delivery and severe postpartum depression was just the beginning of her problems, Dani continues. She was lonely, but too proud to go home. Instead she ended up looking for love in all the wrong places and there were countless bad boyfriends who made her feel even worse about herself.I'm sorry. Dani takes a moment to formulate her thoughts. I was ten and his name was Jimmy. I made the mistake of getting in-between him and a 40 of bourbon. I was pouring it down the kitchen sink, foolish enough to think that would be enough to get my mom to stop drinking. She stiffens, forcing her turbulent emotions back under control. One second the bottle was in my hands, the next I was tumbling down a flight of stairs. When I landed at the bottom I remember looking over at my arm and wondering why it was bent that way. I tried to move, but everything hurt so I stopped. Then I heard mom screaming to the neighbors across the hall that I'd fallen' down the stairs.Jesus Christ, Nick curses softly, taking one of Dani's hands in his.
I don't remember much after that. Head injuries can be funny that way. I found out later that I'd cracked my skull and there was bleeding in the brain, so they had to operate to repair it. I woke up the next day in a strange place, all alone. The part that really scared me was that I couldn't move. I didn't know what was going on, didn't know what to think. I screamed for someone to help me, but it felt like an eternity before someone finally came.No wonder you hate hospitals, Nick comments quietly. I would too.I was strapped into a stryker frame because I'd cracked three vertebrae. There was lots of swelling around my spinal cord and they weren't sure if I was going to be paralyzed. I couldn't feel my legs for four and a half days, Dani says, the painful memories causing tears to gather in the corners of her eyes. When it was finally over, they sent me home in a back brace to wear for three months and was told to be more careful. There was a new bottle of bourbon sitting on the counter when I got home. Mom blamed me for Jimmy leaving and didn't speak to me for almost a month.
The tearful look in her eyes punches a hole in Nick's heart. Closing the small distance between them, he wraps his arms around Dani and holds her close. I'm so sorry, he murmurs, stroking her hair.
It's what makes a person, I guess, Dani replies, leaning back and knuckling away a tear that is threatening to run down her cheek. It made me a survivor.
Concern fills Nick's warm brown eyes. Warrick knows about this, right?Oh, yeah Dani replies, nodding. But I don't want everyone to know.I won't say anything, he promises. You know, I find it funny that average mothers are worried about their children having sex before they're ready, she continues, taking the kleenex that Nick silently offers. Thanks to what I went through growing up, I wanted nothing to do with relationships, male or female. Trust was too difficult.Until . . . ? Nick prompts, raising an eyebrow.
Until Warrick rescued me when I'd been drugged in that club. It was a really bad situation.
Nick nods. He told me that he was the friend who checked you out of the hospital. Dani smiles. That was the night we met. And like the saying goes, the rest is history.
A few moments later the doorbell rings, ending the comfortable silence between the two friends.
Are you expecting anyone? Nick asks, immediately suspicious.
Good grief. You're as bad as Warrick, she teases, getting to her feet, Nick following her lead. In case you've forgotten, my stalker is six feet under.Are you trying to tell me that you don't think about him? he presses as they walk towards the front door.
I admit he still has an occasional guest starring role in my dreams, but it's happening less often. Dani takes his hand and gives it a quick squeeze. Now relax.
The doorbell rings again.
Who is it? Dani calls.
Vengo regali del cuscinetto, a female voice replies.
Dani's mouth falls open in shock. Oh my God. Nick asks.
Ignoring him, she wrenches open the front door and is immediately enveloped in a hug by a tall, rounded woman with shoulder-length wavy hair as black as ink.
Dwayne just called me, the woman says gently, sliding a hand over Dani's auburn curls. I knew you'd change your mind.I missed you so much, Dani murmurs.
I know, honey.
Dani finally pulls back and asks, What are you doing here?Well, I was coming to talk some sense into you, but now it's just a visit.
A light cough behind them causes the two women to face their curious audience.
Oh I'm sorry. Nick, this is Jenny Hicks, Dwayne's wife, Dani says hastily. Jenny, this is Nick Stokes, my pseudo big brother.
He starts to politely offer his hand in greeting, but is swept into a hug before he can react. The look of surprise on his face makes Dani giggle.
You're not the only one who likes to hug, she offers as explanation.
Dani has told me so much about you, Jenny tells him, patting his back. She says you're a very good man.Thank you. A blush colors his cheeks as they break apart. Dani's talked about you a lot. It's nice to put a face with the name.
Finally, Dani notices the small mountain of suitcases sitting on the concrete entrance.
Jenny, how many days were you planning on staying?
Glancing over her shoulder, she laughs. Oh, my suitcases are at the hotel. That's all yours.It's not quite all your clothes from police storage, but I didn't think you'd need your winter gear quite yet.You are an angel. Thank you, Dani says, hugging her again.
Suddenly, Jenny sniffs. Is that my lasagna recipe I smell?
Dani grins. Yeah. I told Nick I'd feed him if he helped me out with Warrick's surprise party. Are you hungry?Molto così! Jenny exclaims, making Dani smile.
Why don't you two catch up in the kitchen while I take care of these bags, Nick suggests.
Thanks Nicky. Just put them by the walk in closet, okay?Will do.So where is the man who swept you off your feet? Jenny asks pointedly as they move down the hall and into the spacious kitchen. When am I going to meet him?He's working tonight, but you'll be able to meet him tomorrow at the party, Dani tells her as she pulls on oven mitts and leans over to pull the lasagna out of the oven.
Smiling softly, Jenny watches Dani carefully. He's the one who put that sparkle in your eyes, isn't he?
Dani blushes. Yes, he is.
Just then Nick appears in the doorway. Anything I can do to help?Set the table? Dani suggests. Plates are over there. She gestures to a cabinet near the fridge.
What can I do? Jenny asks.
Nothing. You're here, and that's more than I could've hoped for.
Touched beyond words, Jenny smiles as she cups Dani's cheek. Where else would I be?
Italian Translation
I come bearing gifts.
Very much so.
Tuesday, October 21st, 2003
12:21 pm
Dani sits alone in a corner table of the diner, staring at her plate. Frustrated, she viciously stabs a wayward french fry with a fork and pops it into her mouth.
Separation anxiety from physiotherapy? Catherine suggests dryly as she walks up to the table, trying to hide the bemused expression on her face.
You seem a little tense.You could say that, Dani admits. Thanks for coming.
Catherine slides into the booth across from her. What's wrong?I fucked up and I don't know what to do about it.What happened?Have you noticed his mood the last few days? Dani asks.
He said he didn't want to talk about, Catherine offers. I thought things were going great. He was ecstatic when you announced you were staying in Las Vegas.Well he was a lot less ecstatic when I mentioned looking for my own place. Confused, Catherine's brow furrows. Why are you looking for your own place?
Exasperated, Dani sighs heavily and puts down her cup of coffee. Am I the only one who realizes that we've done this completely backwards? Wip and I haven't seen each other in three years.Wait a second, Catherine interrupts. That's the third time you've called him Wip' in my presence in the last few weeks. What is that, some kind of nickname?I didn't realize I'd done that, she replies. Have you ever met his grandmother?
Catherine shakes her head.
Well, she used to call him her work in progress. When we'd been dating a while he told me that and I made a joke about him being her little wip. It stuck.That's sweet, Catherine says. So, back to you moving out.Okay, So we haven't seen each other in three years. Then after an incredibly stressful week we spend the night together, only to have me get shot the very next day and almost die. He moves me in with him to recover without even asking me and then spends the next three months deliberately not touching me.What do you mean, not touching you? Every time I see you two he's holding your hand or hugging you or something.
Leaning back and folding her arms over her chest, Dani gives her a look. That's not the kind of touching I'm talking about. Realization dawns and her eyes widen. Catherine asks incredulously.
Nada. Zip. Zilch.And you've tried initiating, uh, contact?So many times, it's ridiculous.So you're thinking he's feeling a little trapped or something?Honestly, I don't know what to think. Dani throws up her hands. When we're sleeping, he wraps his arms around me like he never wants to let me go, but when it gets beyond a couple of kisses he just shuts down.
A long moment of silence passes between them. Suddenly, a light goes off in Catherine's head.
What if he's doing it because he's afraid? she asks.
Dani frowns. Afraid? Of what?Think about it. You two spend the night together and the very next day you almost die.But I'm fine now.Yes, and logically, I'm sure he gets that. But deep down maybe he doesn't want to push you into getting physical again because he's afraid of you getting hurt.Shit. You're probably right. Dani fidgets with her fork for a moment then puts it down on her plate. But how do I get him past that?You've tried being subtle, right? Being available, letting him set the pace.I'm so done with that.
Catherine smiles mischievously. Maybe it's time to try a different approach.Like what?
Catherine leans closer and talks in such a low voice that Dani has to strain to hear her. Several long moment pass as the idea begins to take shape.
Shake the bottle all night and when he's about to explode, pop the cork, Dani finishes, her lips turned into a sly smile. Metaphorically speaking.Think it'll work?
Dani grins. We need to go shopping.
