Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
2:12 am
He knocks on her front door, smiling when he recognizes the music playing on the stereo inside. It's a cd that he'd bought her the week before, a present after attending an intimate concert together.
It's open, she calls out, her voice muffled.
The knob turns easily in his palm, and he drops his luggage on the floor inside the door. As he walks down the hall he considers how best to remind her that leaving her front door unlocked may not be the wisest choice, but all thoughts fly from his head when he enters the small, but cheery kitchen.
she says with a happy smile. Perfect timing.
It's then she realizes that he hasn't moved. He's frozen, staring in shock.
What's wrong? Concerned by the look on his face, she hurries to his side. Are you okay?
What did you do? he finally manages to ask, eyes wide. His head is spinning, his senses overwhelmed.
The music roars in his ears and the heady aromas of roasting chicken and a hint of garlic fill his nostrils as a woman he barely recognizes lays a concerned hand on his arm. The sweet mouth he's kissed dozens of times is now a sinfully erotic display of color and shine. Subtle hints of sparkle on her eyelids make her look exotic, yet still innocent. Eyes deeper and more sensual than ever before. A sleek black top with a neckline that plunges low enough to show off her curves, but leaves something to the imagination is very enticing. Slim fitting blue jeans and bare feet with blue toenails complete the picture. The overall affect has his body aching with need.
Suddenly realizing what he's referring to, she flinches. Oh God. I'm so sorry, I totally forgot.
Moving almost in slow motion, he lifts his hand to touch a long, curly lock of auburn hair. It's red.
You don't like it? she asks, nibbling on her lower lip, now unsure that her rash decision had been wise.
he says softly, and her eyes fall. I love it.
Looking back up, she smiles widely.
He pauses, gaze sliding slowly down her body and back up again as he searches for the right word.
But in a good way?
And to think I thought I preferred blonde's, he adds. Nick was right. It's all about the redheads.
She smiles and rises up on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. Damn straight.
Suddenly an idea crosses his mind like a dark cloud, causing him to frown. You didn't have to do this for me. I don't want you to think that you need to change any-
I know, she interrupts. I did it for me.
Raising an eyebrow, he gives her a speculative look.
And I wanted to know if I could be as beautiful as all those girls who wish you were looking at them instead of me, she admits. I'm still me. I'm not going to start wearing mini skirts and stilettos everyday. I'm still a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, but that doesn't mean I can't be pretty.
First off, you're beautiful. Second, you're better than those girls, he says firmly. It only feels natural to wrap his arms around her and pull her close to breathe in her scent. All I want is for you to be comfortable.
Did I mention that I went shopping for new clothes, too? she asks, her cheek against his chest. My credit cards may never recover.
He laughs, tightening his grip around her, and a crinkling sound fills the air.
What the-?
Releasing her, he presents her with a cellophane cone overflowing with lavender roses. He's pleased when her eyes widen, her luscious mouth making a perfect O of surprise.
They're sterling roses, he tells her. I saw them and had to stop because they reminded me of you.
"They're gorgeous. You shouldn't have."
You get flowers that often? he jokes.
she replies softly, eyes dropping. You're the only one who's ever given me flowers. Wordlessly she lowers her head to inhale the aroma of the pale grey blooms.
The simple, innocent gesture is one of the prettiest images he's seen in a very long time, but he wonders why her eyes hold a flicker of sadness. What secret is she holding onto so tightly?
I'm glad you like them.
"I better get these into water. Do you want something to drink?" she asks as she turns and opens a cupboard, looking for a vase. Help yourself.
Grabbing a beer from out of the fridge, he turns around in time to catch her kneeling on the counter near the sink, reaching for a vase on the top shelf. Setting down the chilled bottle, he crosses the short distance and places his hands on her waist.
You got it? he asks, wondering if it was a wobble or if she'd flinched when he touched her. He can't be sure.
Good. Hand it to me, he instructs.
When she does, he sets it in the sink before lifting her off the countertop and into his arms. Deliberately he pulls her close, their bodies sliding against one another. Now seated on the countertop, she gives him a confused look.
You had me so distracted that I didn't give you a kiss hello, he murmurs softly, lowering his head.
Automatically her arms move up his arms to wrap around his neck while his hands move to her hips. He kisses like a dream; deep and slow, soft and teasing. He lets their tongues duel a bit, igniting the lust. What starts off as an innocent kiss quickly becomes something much more. Lips part so tongues can parry and thrust, and her long legs wrap around his hips, her curves pressed eagerly against his body. One of his hands slides up her back to fist in her hair as the kiss goes on and on. When they finally break apart, both are panting for breath.
"Is it stupid to admit I missed you, even if it was only a four day trip?" she asks, ducking her head, suddenly shy.
Hey, with a welcome like that I'm tempted to go out of town more often," he teases before adding. No seriously, I missed you too.
Their lips meet again, this time for a brief, but tender kiss.
"How was the conference?" she asks, sliding off the counter. Turning away from him, she keeps her hands busy taking the cellophane off the bouquet and filling the vase.
It was fine. Nothing that couldn't have just emailed, but you know the FBI. It's all about making big displays for the public, justification for their pay cheques. Reclaiming his beer, he twists off the top and takes a sip. Something smells terrific, but you didn't have to. I would've taken you out.
I know, but I want to spend some time with you and I'd rather not have to share you with a crowd, she replies. Besides, I figured you'd like a home cooked meal instead of more restaurant food.
Yeah, you're right about that, he admits, touched that she's gone to such trouble after a tough week of classes.
Just then, the oven timer dings. Quickly she slips on oven mitts and bends over to take the chicken out of the oven. The tantalizing view of snug denim over curves sends a pang of lust ripping through him and he surpresses a groan.
I wasn't quite done with the salad. Can you finish up those mushrooms and the cucumber? she asks as she sets the roaster down on the top of the stove next to a small pan of gravy.
he replies, mentally crossing his fingers that his voice doesn't sound strained. Picking up the knife, he hopes that he doesn't slice off a thumb because of the gorgeous distraction not two feet away. He tries to smile as she peels back the foil, allowing the sultry smells to fill the air.
Pleased, she smiles triumphantly.
When she leans over again to grab a bowl of twice baked stuffed potatoes with garlic and a dish of mixed vegetables keeping warm, he closes his eyes.
I hope you're hungry, she says. I kinda went overboard.
Shifting, he discreetly adjusts himself, but hisses when his forearm brushes the hot roasting pan. Instantly she is at his side as he drops the knife, blowing on the reddening flesh.
"Damn!"
"Cold water, get it under cold water," she urges, cradling his arm with both of her hands. Quickly she hurries him over to the sink and plunges his arm under a stream of water to cool it down.
He muffles a sigh. His arm isn't bad, not really. The burn is minor and small, but now he has the sensual press of her curled against his body, and the angle is perfect for him to look right down her shirt. He couldn't have asked for a more clear view of the softness, shadows and mystery. Reflexively, he tightens his jaw as she looks up at him, concerned.
"Better?"
"Yeah, it's okay, really."
Neither one of them move away, and she keeps his arm under the running water, gently stroking the flesh around the injury with one hand and her other hand finds his fingers, threading them together. Finally, he clears his throat, well aware that any more touching is going to severely test his self-control. Wordlessly, she takes a hand towel and dries his arm just as gently as she'd washed it.
"Great. I've already maimed you and we haven't even gotten to the table, she comments. Unable to stop himself, he laughs and lowers his head to kiss her cheek.
"Tell you what. Let me crash with you here while you play nurse and all will be forgiven," he jokes.
I wasn't planning on you going home tonight, she replies suggestively, not realizing that she's spoken aloud until she feels his intense stare. Swallowing hard, she looks up at him. That was the out loud voice, wasn't it?
I didn't even stop by my place to drop off my stuff. I came straight here from the airport, he says, realizing the implications of the last exchange.
How they'd both thought that they would be together tonight. Knowing that she didn't have any classes to attend the next morning and that he didn't have to go into work until the next evening. How she'd made herself up-
Glancing down he takes a calming breath, looking up just in time to see her watching him, nervously nibbling on her lower lip. Warrick let out a shaky breath before giving her a reassuring smile.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? he asks softly.
Her chin trembles ever so slightly. You said you'd wait until I was ready. Well, I'm ready.
If you're too tired- Losing her nerve and suddenly embarrassed, she starts to pull way, but his arms quickly encircle her.
I'm fine, but I think we need to talk about this. How things will change between us.
Do you love me? she asks directly, deep blue eyes locked with his.
You know that I love you, he replies, cupping her cheek and brushing a thumb over her lips.
Then spend the night with me.
Star, this isn't something you just decide to do and jump into bed.
I'm not jumping. We've been together for how long? Who's jumping?
He sighs, sliding his palms down her arms to hold both her hands in his. Can you understand that I want this to be special for both of us? Most especially you?
With you I know it will be.
Okay, but will you give me a couple of days? Please? he requests. I'm off on Sunday and Monday. Will you give me until then to make sure that we do this right?
She takes a moment, her eyes unreadable. What about tonight? she asks finally. Will you stay?
I''ll bring you breakfast in bed.
Dani giggles, a happy sigh of contentment escaping her lips.
Warrick says softly. You're awake.
She feels a soft, slow breath against her left shoulder and sensations, like an echo of a dream with warm heaviness on her hip. Deep inside her sleep-drugged body Dani feels the slow shadow of heat from the body pressed up against her back. Opening her eyes, she realizes that she and Warrick are no longer stretched out in front of the fireplace, but curled up in their luxurious king sized bed.
I don't remember moving, she says, slowly rolling over so she's facing him.
You passed out when I- he trails off, looking at Dani expectantly. Recalling the details, she blushes.
Oh yeah.
I figured you'd be more comfortable here.
Smart man.
So what were you dreaming about that was so funny? Absently, Warrick strokes his fingers through Dani's sleep-tousled hair, all chaotic curls with silk underneath.
The first time you brought me sterling roses and I tried to talk you into-
Talk nothing, he interrupts. You looked sexy as hell that night and it was all I could do not to take you right there on the kitchen counter.
Yeah, that took another two months, a leather skirt and that lacy white top, she teases. That was an expensive shirt, by the way.
Growling, Warrick attacks her, mercilessly running his fingers over her ribs, tickling her. Overcome with laughter, Dani begs for him to stop. When he does she rolls over onto her back and notices the answering machine next to the bed.
Hey, did you hear the phone ring earlier? The light's blinking, Dani says, suddenly all business. Maybe something happened while we were out. Leaning over, she presses the button and lays back against her pillow to listen.
"Black or white knickers? What was that in use of, you naughty girl?" a familiar British voice demands. "I'm dying of curiosity here. I'm working, but I'll have my mobile on, just for you. Ring me back, sweets. I want every, last, dirty little detail."
Bursting out laughing, Dani wraps her arms around her belly and curls up into a small ball. Panting for breath, she looks over at Warrick, who has pushed himself up onto his elbows to watch her.
What was Mark talking about?
I called him, wanting advice, she answers when she's caught her breath. I couldn't decide between black or white to go under my dress. He didn't answer his phone so I left him a voicemail. He must've called back while we were out.
You called to ask him about your underwear? Warrick asks disbelievingly.
Don't worry, he's only a friend. Completely harmless. Mark's been pining for a girl we-, he works with for the entire time I've known him.
Warrick arches an eyebrow.
Carolyn. It stupid because they're crazy each other, but neither will take the first step.
What's his excuse?
Rolling her eyes, Dani shakes her head. Says because they work together he doesn't want to take the risk of bollixing that up.
And what do you say about that?
That it worked for you and me, so if he lets her get away he's a wanker.
That's my girl.
I love it when you call me that, she says softly. Telling people that I'm yours.
I like saying it.
Do you realize it's because of you that I have a family? she asks. You taught me that love isn't about biology and because of that, I have so much. Nicky is the big brother I always wanted and I think of Catherine and Lindsey as my sister and niece. Greg is like my dorky, but adorable cousin that I would do anything for.
Warrick smiles at her description of his coworkers. You give me too much credit, baby. You did all that on your own.
No, I didn't, Dani insists. I carried your love inside me and it gave me strength when I had none of my own. It's because of your love that I let Jenny into my life and shared my secrets. She's the mom I always wanted.
She's the mom you deserve, Warrick says firmly.
You know, I realize that I'm not the same person I used to be, she continues.
And neither am I, he interjects.
But I think we fit better than ever.
Yeah, we do. Grinning, Warrick slides an arm around Dani's waist. And before you say it, I know it's not going to be easy, but if we have to endure some hurt, isn't it better that we hurt together than alone? I don't want to feel like I did when you left.
Dani doesn't answer, but her body moves back toward Warrick's, until they lay so close no room remains between them. Their bodies fit together perfectly, that one may have been made only for the other from the beginning of time.
Sunlight drags him out of sleep, and he rolls over, arms searching for her warm, soft skin. To hear her sigh when he kisses that spot on her neck. The spot between her shoulder blades. The spot at the base of her spine.
The sheets are cold. Undisturbed.
He bolts upright in bed, reality sinking in. Looking over at her side of the bed, the overwhelming pain of loss rips through him, as it has every single morning since that horrible day.
The blood in the water when he'd jumped into the pool to pull her body up from the bottom. Her beautiful eyes, filled with pain as she'd professed her love to him. The sick gurgle in her throat as her lungs filled with blood, causing her to cough violently. Bright red streams of water and blood that covered the concrete as they'd loaded her battered form onto the gurney. The desperate attempts from the paramedics to make her breathe. How her heart had given out in the ambulance. His blood stained fingers stroking her lifeless face.
And now, three months of waking up without her beside him is almost more than he can bear.
Pushing the sheets back, he swings his legs over the side of the bed and picks up a small card from the nightstand. The fold is fuzzy and worn from repeated openings, the lower corners dog-eared from when he'd carried it in his shirt pocket for weeks. He scans the cover, thumb brushing over the picture of sterling roses. Lavender flowers; representative of love at first sight.
Opening the card, he reads the heartbreaking words. A handful of sentences that cannot begin to describe the amazing woman he knew so intimately. A life ended far too soon. 4:29 pm
Sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of the living room, Dani concentrates, taking deep breaths and letting the music emanating through the headphones flow through her.
She's in the process of opening her third chakra, Manipura, the melting pot of spiritual and earthly desires, when a sound that doesn't belong tears her out of her meditation and she pulls off her headphones.
The unmistakable cry of her lover in distress sends her running the short distance down the hall and into the bedroom where Warrick is thrashing about under the sheets.
Honey, wake up!
The sound of her voice seems so real, but it is her touch that convinces him. Finally opening his eyes, Warrick meets Dani's concerned gaze, her soft blue eyes searching his. Clad in a short navy robe, she has straddled his hips, hair tossed over one shoulder as her hands grip his bare shoulders.
Hey. You were dreaming.
Without warning, Warrick's arms close around Dani's waist and pull her body against his, holding her tight.
It felt so real, he murmurs breathlessly into her hair, nuzzling her neck.
Pulling back a little, she cups his cheek and presses her lips to his in a gentle kiss. It was just a dream. This is real. Taking his hand, Dani slips it through the deep V of her robe and against her bare skin where her heart pounds rhythmically against his palm. See? I'm right here.
God you feel good, Warrick says, hand slipping lower to curl around her breast. And very naked under that robe.
Dani giggles and kisses him again before her eyes turn serious. You haven't had a nightmare in almost a month. That's an improvement.
Guess my subconscious is a little worried, considering what happened the last time we-
Had a night of debauchery? Dani finishes with a satisfied smile. She cocks her head to one side, eyes dancing, Not tired of me, yet?
In response, Warrick leans in to kiss her, subtly rolling her onto her back so he can cover her body with his. Her arms encircle his neck, pulling him even closer. Finally he ends the kiss, and looks down at her, a soft smile at his lips.
And then they are kissing again, but it isn't rushed or frenzied like the previous night. Their tongues dance around each other, a casual tango, savoring just being together. They take their time, making it last.
Warrick slyly works a hand up under Dani's robe to graze lightly over her bare backside.
She gasps, arching into him, Tell me why I bother covering myself?
he murmurs and feels her smile in response. He lowers his head to kiss her again, but just then the phone rings and he groans.
Laughing, Dani rolls out of his grasp and picks up the cordless phone.
Hello? Oh hi Grissom. Hold on, Warrick's right here. She turns and starts to hand the phone to her lover, but pauses when the CSI supervisor asks her a question.
No, I don't have plans for tonight.
Curious, Warrick arches an eyebrow and Dani shrugs in response.
He's sick? she continues, then pauses. Can I do that? she asks disbelievingly.
Another pause.
Okay. I'll be there.
Hanging up, she places the phone back on the base station, an expression of surprise covering her face.
What was that about? Warrick asks.
Nicky's sick as a dog. Diane called in for him, said he couldn't possibly come in tonight.
Damn. He never gets sick.
My thoughts exactly. He must be pretty bad for Diane to keep him home.
So what did Grissom want you to do?
Cover Nick's shift. The higher up's are okay with it, so I get to work with Catherine tonight.
Are you sure you're okay with it? Warrick asks gently. You haven't spent much time at the pd since-
It's fine, Dani says, cupping his cheek. I'm fine. It's unlikely that I'll have much contact with him. After all, it's not like he goes out of his way to see me.
Dropping back against the pillows, Warrick watches as Dani slips off the bed and pads over to a chest of drawers. He smiles, his heart touched by how comfortable Dani is with the casual intimacy of changing in front of him. After the shooting she'd tried to hide her scars from him, not wanting him to feel guilty. It had been an adjustment, one of many over the last few months as they learned to combine their lives. Now there is no shyness or uncertainty in Dani's movements; as though it is the most natural thing in the world to her.
The rest of him, of course, aches with need for her.
Remind me tomorrow to call and book my flight to D.C., okay? Dani requests as she pulls out a matching bra and panty set. The navy robe drops to the floor, but is quickly replaced by cornflower blue underwear.
Warrick grumbles a protest under his breath; for two reasons. The covering up of her nudity and the idea of her leaving town, even if it's only temporary.
Hey, Jenny was nice enough to bring me most of my clothes, but I really need to get my stuff out of police storage, Dani chastises, glancing over her shoulder at him as she snaps her bra closed. You know that.
I know, he sighs.
And it's not forever. I'll be back in five or six days. A week at the most. Scooping up her robe, Dani walks over to the closet and hangs it on a peg. Then she selects a blouse that matches her underwear and slips it on.
I've gotten used to having you wrapped around me when I'm sleeping.
I'm going to miss you, too, she replies, buttoning her shirt as she walks back over to the bed to sit next to him. I'll have my cell. We'll be able to talk on the phone every day.
That doesn't help me when I want to touch you. Warrick slips an arm around Dani's waist and pulls her close.
Does this mean you'll have to rely on hobbies and reading to entertain yourself while I'm away? she asks teasingly.
He shoots her a look that makes her squirm, eyebrow arching high. I have a hobby, he replies, low and seductive. It involves you and this bed.
Catching a flicker of an odd look in his eyes, she pulls back.
There's something else bothering you.
I found the prescription for naratriptamine, Warrick admits.
Her eyes widen in surprise. You're spying on me now?
I thought we beyond secrets, he counters. And it was an accident. I was looking for aspirin.
Dani sighs heavily. It's just a couple of headaches. I'm fine.
Naratriptamine is not for run of the mill headaches. It's migraine medication.
Hon, you know I had a bad couple of weeks while I dealt with some seriously life altering decisions. I got stressed out in my head and needed a little extra help to stop the spinning.
Why didn't you come to me? Warrick asks, hiding the hurt that she didn't tell him.
I love you, but there's only so much you can do for me. I had to make my peace with it on my own, in my own time.
His hand slides up her thigh, thumb brushing over her hip bone. I know you're disappointed.
Hey, it's okay. I knew the risks going in and I had you by my side. She cups Warrick's cheek and smiles. So things didn't work out exactly as I hoped, but I knew I was asking for a lot. It could have been so much worse.
It also could've been better, Warrick fires back, eyebrow arched. He doesn't understand what he's missing. He'd have to be capable of love first.
Whoa. Easy now. Dani's hand slides down to rest on Warrick's chest. Don't take this on yourself. It's not about you. I know without question that you love me. He didn't tell me he wanted nothing to do with me or deny me, and that was my greatest fear. If that had happened, I don't know what I would have done.
Can you understand that all I want to do is keep you from getting hurt? Warrick asks.
I know, she says gently. It's one of a million reasons why I love you so much. 6:12 pm
Stifling a yawn, she opens the front door of her garden level apartment and reaches down to pick up her morning newspaper, only to take a step back in surprise when he offers it to her. The hem of her powder blue drawstring pants brush the tops of her bare feet while a spaghetti strap top of the same color clings to her curves. The cool morning air causes goose bumps form on her skin as she wills her heart to return to a normal rhythm.
Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, he says as she takes the roll of newsprint.
What are you doing here? she asks, nudging her glasses up her nose and pushing the tangled strands of her long, dark brown hair out of her face. I thought you were working tonight, uh, last night, uh, now. Her drowsy voice is a little lower than usual, soft blue eyes a little unfocused, telling him that she was sleeping until very recently.
I'm on a break, he replies softly. Tilting his head to one side, he notices the dark smudges under her eyes. Looks like you had a long night. Get your paper finished?
She stifles another yawn and stretches her arms above her head for a moment, unknowingly exposing a few inches of her abdomen. I printed off the final draft around 3:30. I think it's pretty good.
If you're done, why are you up getting the newspaper instead of sleeping?
I decided to grab a couple hours of sleep before I head over to school and turn it in. Doors open at 7:30 am. Laying the newspaper on the table inside the door, she steps out onto the landing where they can stand closer together. What made you drive all the way over here to see me at this hour? It's not even dawn.
I was in the lab, thinking about you, and it hit me, he says simply. I love you.
Stunned, her mouth opens and closes several times as she struggles to form words.
You don't have to say anything, he continues in a fast jumble. I just wanted you to know. It's not like I'm asking you to say it b-
Soft lips cover his mouth as she cuts off his nervous babbling. Her arms slip around his neck, his hands finding her waist as he returns her kiss.
She gulps for air when their lips finally part and his head lifts. His eyes are so close, so clear, she can see herself reflected in them. Can see the passion in them. It jolts her back a step, makes her fumble for a casual smile.
I, uh-
Holding her face between his hands, he kisses her mouth again, sighing when the wet, willing softness opens to him. As he strokes and tastes, she arches against his body, craving more.
You taste like coffee, she murmurs with a smile when his lips move from her mouth to her neck. Not fair, considering Starbucks is so far away.
He laughs, pulling back slightly, but wrapping his arms loosely around her waist.
And I have morning breath, she realizes, cheeks turning pink.
Well, you taste minty, like toothpaste, and it's way sexier than I ever thought it would be, he says with a lopsided grin, pulling her close for another kiss, albeit a brief one. But I should get back.
she replies, ducking her head, trying to hide her disappointment.
Get some sleep, okay? he says before releasing her. I'll call you later. He turns and starts to walk away.
she calls out as loudly as she dares at 6 am, grabbing something from the table inside and following him barefoot down the narrow stone path towards the street. Taking his hand in hers, her fingers tremble as she lays a single object on his palm. The spare key to her front door. Come back when your shift is over.
Surprised at the gesture, his eyes widen. At his reaction, she blushes, wondering what he might be thinking.
I didn't, uh, mean it that way, she stammers. I'm not ready for-
I know, he interrupts. How about we start with breakfast?
Sounds good.
Tucking the key into the front pocket of his jeans, he turns to leave again, but when her long, slender fingers curl around his arm, he pauses.
I love you, too, she says softly, almost shy as she looks up at him through a curtain of long eyelashes, made larger by the lenses of her glasses. Her chin trembles, eyes bright with excess moisture.
Strong arms sweep her up and he's kissing her again, in that same drugging, devastating, delicious way. As if they have forever to simply be there, caught in the soft breezes and quiet passion.
I'll be back as soon as I can, he promises, reluctantly lowering her back down to the ground.
Several hours later he makes good on that promise, with coffee from Starbucks, but it goes cold on the kitchen counter when she reaches out for him, beckoning him to rest by her side. At her tentative and nervous invitation, he slips off his blue jeans and t-shirt, sliding under the covers and wrapping his arms around her. Half asleep she nuzzles closer, her cheek resting against his shoulder.
So this is what it's like to love you, she murmurs, her words no more than a whisper.
I'd never been so nervous in my life as I was that morning, Warrick says, breaking off from telling the story to Catherine. Fortunately, the locker room is empty but for the two of them.
Until now? she prompts.
Until now.
She going to be fine. Nothing is going to go wrong tonight. Relax, Catherine instructs.
Tell me I'm overreacting.
She smiles gently. You're overreacting.
I just don't want her to get hurt, Warrick says with a sigh. She's been through enough for two lifetimes.
I know, but you can't protect her from the world, Catherine replies softly. Deep down you know that.
I watched her come out out physiotherapy five days a week for the last two months, he continues, rising to his feet and pacing the length of the small room. I saw the tears in her eyes as she pushed through pain and the pills she took when she just couldn't stand it anymore. How a simple walk around the house would sap her strength completely and I'd have to carry her back to bed.
Eyes filled with sympathy and understanding, Catherine nods. I know.
I held her when she woke up screaming from the nightmares and wanted to dig up the bastard just so I could shoot him again.
I believe there's a list of people who would be interested in doing something like that, Catherine comments dryly. But what made you want to tell me that story?
Warrick sighs heavily. It's no secret that I've had a colorful past when it comes to women, I admit that.
I think the operative word here is she points out. You weren't deliberately using them, right? You were looking for something, and went about finding it in a way that ended up not working. It doesn't make you a bad person.
With Dani there was something different, right from the start. I'd never seen anyone, never been around anyone remotely like her, Warrick says softly, recalling the memories.
What do you mean?
She was the first woman who didn't fall all over me when I flirted with her, he admits ruefully, leaning against the row of lockers and folding his arms over his chest. Instead she looked at me with those big blue eyes, so deep and intense, and asked questions about who I was, who I wanted to be. Right there I was hooked. The first time we kissed it was like touching something innocent. I couldn't think. I was completely lost in something as simple as a kiss. It was pure. It scared the hell out of me.
I can imagine, Catherine says, guiding Warrick back to the bench where the both sit down.
It took a lot for her to give me that key, to admit that she had finally opened up to allow herself to trust someone. To love. Only later I understood why it was so difficult. She hadn't let anyone get close in almost fifteen years, and even then, it was just a friend who looked out for her.
That's all behind you now, right?
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, Warrick admits. To wake up and realize it's all been a dream and she never came back here. It scares me because I just can't imagine my life without her.
Catherine smiles. Warrick, it's called being in love.
I've had the same laundry detergent since my grandmother did my shirts and socks when I was ten. Dani prefers some other brand, but respected my way of doing my stuff, didn't even try to change it. We each had our own box of soap, no big deal. Warrick smiles at the memory. One day she threw a shirt of mine in with her stuff because it had a stain on it and she didn't want it to set. I went to work a couple nights later and my shirt smelled like her. All that night I couldn't wait to get home and see her again. Now all my laundry is done with that soap, because I love the fact that her scent is around me all the time.
Have you told her that? Catherine asks, watching his face closely.
I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure if I start that I'll be able to stop. I don't want to scare her. Shaking his head, Warrick looks at the floor.
Catherine frowns. What could you possibly tell her that would scare her? She loves you and would do anything for you.
A few weeks ago I had a dream. I've had lots of them, but most of the time they're about her not being here. Sometimes I'm too late getting to the house and she's already gone. Sometimes she dies in my arms. Sometimes she dies hooked up to machines and I'm holding her hand. And sometimes a faceless doctor walks through a door and tells me that she's gone. Then everything goes black and I'm lost.
Jesus, Warrick. Catherine's hand finds his shoulder and rubs it comfortingly. I'm sorry.
But this dream was different. This time I wasn't running to save her. I come through the front door without a care in the world and the whole place smells terrific. I see her favorite artwork hanging on the walls, hear her favorite music playing on the stereo. It's perfect. I walk into the kitchen and there she is, singing along while she's elbow deep in some culinary concoction that I know will be fantastic. She's wearing an old t-shirt of mine and her feet are bare, toenails painted a bright blue. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen -- and then she turns toward me.
She's pregnant. Many months pregnant. Like she's swallowed a basketball or something.
And the idea of her being pregnant freaks you out? Catherine asks, eyes sympathetic. That's a normal reaction for men.
No, that's just it. I didn't realize until that moment how bad I want her to be pregnant. All at once it hit me that I want a little girl with her curly hair or a little boy with her big blue eyes. That's what's freaking me out.
Stunned, she pauses for a moment. How does she feel about kids? Are you worried that she doesn't want that too?
That's the thing. She's been on an emotional roller coaster for as long as I've known her. You don't know how hard it's been for her lately.
But she's still here, Catherine points out. With you.
Intense green eyes meet hers. She almost left. Again.
Things got bad a while back, not between us, but something else and all she wanted to do was run. The memory of Dani's heartbreak rushes through his system, causing him to wince. But in the end, she stayed. For me.
Why would she want to leave?
Dani loves me. I don't question that. She loves Vegas and her friends, but there are things here that are difficult. In some ways, being on the other side of the country would be easier for her.
But being away from you would be worse, right? Catherine asks gently.
She's everything I never knew I always wanted, he says softly. When I wasn't looking, she became part of every aspect of my life. I didn't plan it that way, but that's what happened. I don't want to think about what it would be like if she wasn't here.
You know, I never thought I'd see the day where you'd want to become a family man, but now I see how much it suits you, Catherine says with a smile. The playboy is retired.
Now all I have to do is make sure she stays alive, Warrick remarks dryly.
Let me tell you something. A few days before she was shot, Dani told me that if something ever happened to you because of her, she'd never forgive herself, Catherine reveals. She said she'd rather die than hurt you again. While she was in surgery, that's all I could think about. She knew what she was doing. Don't blame yourself for what happened.
She jumped in front of a gun toting psycho, he says flatly. For me.
And if she'd had a gun on her hip you would've done the same, Catherine fires back, grabbing his arm so he meets her eyes. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll call you a liar.
Groaning in frustration, Warrick buries his head in his hands.
Silently, Catherine slides forward on the bench. So Dani pushed herself hard during her recovery, but it's her nature, Warrick. She's okay now.
Finally relenting, Warrick nods. Just watch her back for me, okay?
Pulling him close, Catherine gives the taller CSI a hug before standing up and closing her locker. Better get to work.
Hey, Cath? he calls out when she is at the doorway.
7:02 pm
Grissom begins, holding several slips of paper. Warrick, you're on your own with a 406 in Henderson.
Break and enter. I'm on it, he replies.
Catherine and Dani, you've got a 407 with injuries just off strip by Lorenzi Park. Looks to be a domestic situation. One dead, one is being taken to Valley Hospital Medical Center. David is on his way to the scene.
Blood and bullets, Dani says quietly. Got it.
And Sara, you're with me. We've got a 419 with suspicious circs in a hotel room at the MGM Grand.
Ooh. Dead body, Sara says, taking the slip of paper enthusiastically.
Somebody likes their job, Dani remarks dryly under her breath and Warrick snorts, but quickly covers it with a cough.
