Chikara: I've never tried to write a yaoi fic before.
Haiku: (raises eyebrows) Sounds like a gay idea to me.
Chikara: Uh-huh!
Haiku: (mockingly) I meant that as an insult.
Chikara: So...
Haiku: (whacks head) Great...a comedienne.
Chikara: (little smile) Lighten up. Besides, I'm stuck at my gradparents for the summer--what else am I supposed to entertain myself with.
Roshi: (looks up from porno mag) I can think of a few things!! (runs from Haiku, screaming)
Haiku: NO! PERVERTS! ALLOWED! (swinging barbarian axe)
Chikara: (shakes head) What a night...(sigh) Here's my pathetic story.
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Vegeta was lost in thought. He lived in a huge house; he had a beautiful woman; he had a strong son who took after him; he could live exclusively off of ice cream and it would be on someone else's budget (not that he would), but he still had this nagging feeling of discontent that wouldn't go away. Despite all this, there was one thing he did not have...
At first it had been a few, small things---a faint fluttering in his stomach whenever they were close; a general excited nervousness when he visited, or a few passing thoughts. Never enough to merit any action, but still...He rolled over onto his stomach as he lay in the shade of a building and thought about it, and the more he thought about it, the more he knew it was true.
Perhaps he should tell someone, get it off his chest, you know? But something was always holding him back, especially when it actually came down to the subject of telling him. Vegeta laughed out loud as he visualized the object of his desire's reaction. Would he kill himself, try to kill me, or just run? he half-mused half-snickered. There was really no point thinking about it. Anyway, he had read somewhere that it was normal for heterosexual men to sometimes have urges towards their own kind, perhaps this was just some small thing that would pass...Still it just felt so, so, so normal—like it was supposed to work out this way.
Vegeta got up to go inside as the late evening sun sank below the horizon. He had to say it, but how? Should he mention it to Bulma? Should he confide in Kakarrot? Or should he just burst out of the proverbial closet so everyone could see...even him...especially, you know, him. Why can't he just love me and tell me, so I don't have to be the only one to confess this?! It just wasn't fair. He leaned against the wall for a second, just inside the door as he tried to sort this out. Perhaps a good night's sleep...
Nothing was any clearer the next day. "Yamcha's stopping by for a visit." Bulma had told him at breakfast, "Try not to be so distant this time—just hating him is no reason not to be nice." If only she knew how wrong she was. Vegeta sighed as he sat by the frog pond and watched seagulls attack Ginyu:"Hey Vegeta! Bulma sent me to call you in for lunch" he heard a welcome voice call.
"I'm not hungry, Yamcha."
"She said you didn't eat at all last night either." Yamcha replied as he nudged Vegeta with his foot to coax him up, "something has GOT to be wrong when a Saiyan refuses to eat---I mean, you might think you and Goku are different, but not where appetites are concerned."
"Go screw yourself."
He didn't mean it, but he wanted some privacy. He just needed to reflect on it some more, before he could even think of telling anyone. "Listen Yamcha, sometimes I like to think—something you can't do owing to your lack of brainpower!" It almost hurt to say it, but at least it worked. As he watched Yamcha's receding figure he felt a tinge of regret. "Hey Yamcha...wait, I didn't really mean it." Being nice felt so awkward without the added complications.
"Huh?"
"There's--er--something I should probably tell you...Um, about a friend, yeah a friend of mine who, well...who is...that is he's..."
"You have friends now?!" Yamcha laughed.
"Very funny---not!!! Anyhow, he's...gay."
"And the problem is..."
"He's kind of got a thing for another guy..."
"And all this time I thought he was in love with a ferret. Newsflash: homosexual means 'same-sex' No kidding!"
Vegeta scowled. This was not his favorite way to spend his time. "The point is, the other guy has no clue---probably a good thing considering..."
"The guy's straight?"
"Yeah...and they know each other well enough that they'd keep running into each other after."
"Then your friend should probably keep his mouth shut and not scare the guy---can you imagine how awkward it would be if they saw each other afterwards?Yamcha continued, laughing a little, "the gay one would be wishing that the guy would forget it, and the straight one would be obscuring his ass with a newspaper. I mean, why would---"
Vegeta was quickly getting very uncomfortable. "Look, forget I asked! It's not important!!!" he snapped. "And tell that woman I will not eat unless you are not present!!! I'd rather starve than share a meal with you!!!"
Later that night, Vegeta sat starving as he lay on his back and looked up at the sky as if expecting an answer. He didn't find it. What he did find, however, was a distinctly interruption-free zone to carry out more of his thinking. I bet no one else I know is lying on top of a rooftop wondering how to tell someone he's secretly in love with them. Do you find Chi-Chi confessing her love of Roshi? Does Krillin secretly have eyes for Gohan? He hoped not---last time he checked, Gohan was still too young for Krillin, but really that didn't matter. The point was, the answer for bothof these was probably "no". He'd figure it out later, but for now sleep beckoned...
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Chikara: Sooo...
Haiku: Um, has anyone ever told Vegeta to see a shrink?
Vegeta: (growl) A shrink? I don't think I will ever have need of a mental specialist.
Chikara: (stare, raise eyebrow pointedly)
Haiku: Anything in your childhood you'd wish to discuss?
Vegeta: (smirk) You mean the first five seconds after my second birthday? That was not much of a childhood for things to happen in.
Chikara: Someone has issues. Anyway, review.
