Chikara: Sorry I haven't written anything in, oh, two-to-three weeks. I was on the road with three brats (one of whom is getting to be a real pervert) and two grandparents---obviously no internet access.
Haiku: (punch-kick-punch-punch) Take this, monkey!!!
Chikara: So as a result, Haiku and Vegeta have been killing each other for a very long time...um, you can stop now---Vegeta's been unconscious for three days.
Haiku: (sticks out tongue) You're no fun. (sits down and glares)
Vegeta: (starts coming to) Ohh...ow! Wha...?
Chikara: Rise'n'shine loverboy! Big day ahead.
Vegeta: Big...day?
Haiku: I think I hit him too hard on the head. (giggle)
Vegeta: (shakes head) Wait, now I remember. I---
Haiku: Yeah, whatever! (boots Vegeta into the story)
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Bulma watched from the doorway as Vegeta rummaged around in the cupboards for some sort of sustenance. For someone who said he was hungry, he certainly seemed to not notice an awful lot of really obvious edibles---so far he had walked right past two boxes of cereal, a half-box of doughnuts, her mom's cookies, some trail mix...
"Um...Vegeta?"
"......Listening."
"I thought you were hungry."
"I AM."
"Well..." she began, holding out a box of Corn Flakes, "this was right in front of you."
"Well, give it to me, then," he snapped as he grabbed the box and walked off, slamming the door as he went back outside."
Bulma was, to say the least, a tad confused. Okay, here's Mr. In-Charge-Know's-What-He's-Doing-So-Move-It, and he can't even find a box of cereal. Something isn't right, that's for sure...
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Vegeta traced and re-traced his steps as he walked back-and-forth on the roof. I tell her...I keep my trap shut...I tell him...I take it to my grave...I disappear...I kill—NO! What AM I THINKING!!!
"Hey dad."
Vegeta looked up and saw Trunks floating about six feet overhead. "How long were you watching me, boy?" he asked, trying not to let any emotion show through in his voice.
"Long enough to get dizzy. Could you stop pacing—'cause you're really starting to look like some kind of escaped maniac. Oh, and mom sent me to fetch you—you've been up here more than an hour. Well, I'm going off to play with Goten for a while. See ya!"
As he watched Trunks fly off, he wondered exactly what Bulma thought about his behaviour. No, I can probably make up a good excuse..."
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"There is no excuse for your behavior, Vegeta! Running off, skipping meals, acting like a deranged psycho-killer with Alzheimer's, seriously Vegeta, I'm worried about us."
"You mean me," heart-to-heart talks were definitely NOT his thing.
"No, I mean US. I'm seriously worried about the health of our relationship—your disappearing, missing dinner and still not seeming interested in food the next morning, not talking to me. The signs are all there."
"Signs? Of what?!" this was really turning into another Bulma-on-an-ice cream-bender situation.
Bulma shook her head and clicked her tongue condescendingly, "Vegeta, Vegeta, Vegeta..."
"What, what, what?" Well isn't this a good use of my time!
"Vegeta, just because you're feeling cornered in this relationship, doesn't mean you need a new one. Infidelity is never a good option—NOW HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHERE AND WHO SHE IS SO I CAN GIVE HER A PIECE OF MY MIND!!!!" she completely and wholly lost it as she gave Vegeta a slap upside the face.
Hell really does hath no fury...! Now what?! "Bulma, I—"
"Coming clean are we?!" Bulma half-screamed at him, "Couldn't take the guilt, could you?!"
"Bulma, I have ne—"
"Sure you haven't...have you?" Bulma started screaming, but faltered in mid-sentence.
Now it was his turn to get a little ticked off: "Didn't you think it were possible for me to maybe be simply going through a rough time?! Maybe, the problem doesn't even exist! Or maybe...! Maybe the problem is YOU! ...Huh? What now?"
While Bulma's rant had served only to fuel the feisty Saiyan's temper, Vegeta's little outburst really had Bulma scared. I mean, it wasn't exactly a secret that Vegeta had a bit of a violent temper, and she HAD hit him...
"Bulma...? St-stop crying." Vegeta was really in over his head now, "I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about..."
"Okay, o-okay...sorry a-about that. Don't know what came over me." Man, I really am a bit of a bitch...no wonder he's avoiding me.
"Look, you just leave me alone for a while, all right woman," Vegeta lectured, "if we just keep to ourselves until we cool down a bit—tell you what, I'll take off for oh, say...two days? You should be a little less wound up by then."
"And where exactly will you be staying until you come back?"
"I'll figure it out, maybe...," suddenly a light—albeit a sneaky conniving one—went on upstairs, "maybe you could convince Yamcha to let me stay with him...?"
"Yamcha? But you hate him...don't you?"
"Well it's not really a secret that he still cares about you—he'll probably love to help, er, protect you."
"It might work...I guess, but this'll be hard to explain properly to Trunks, won't it?"
"Just tell him it's only a couple of days, heck, tell him I'm off in outer space on some sort of early-onset midlife crisis thing for all I care."
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That night after supper, Vegeta packed his bags and left. Well, if that isn't the definition of sneaky, conniving, unfair, underhanded cheating...at least I'll be able to figure out if I really can work something with them. You know, it's kind of funny; I haven't done anything yet, and all this has already happened. Oh well, maybe the thought really is as bad as the deed—but if that's true, then the damage is already done isn't it? No reason not to follow my heart—and other parts—to greener pastures, now is there...? But if anything does happen between the two of us...what about Bulma and Trunks? He's young enough to get used to it, I guess—he'll only hate me later. But Bulma, she would blame herself, me, Yamcha and everyone else—and therein lies the rub. To make myself happy, I'll wreak the lives of everyone around me...Man, love really does stink. Then again, should Yamcha not give in to my advances, he'll tell Bulma and everyone else—then I'll be in some serious trouble, won't I? I'll just play it safe for a while—either that or get the both of us drunk. Worked on Bulma didn't it? No way, no way...I'm so screwed."
Haiku: I object to the end of this chapter!
Chikara: (raises eyebrow, tilts head) What? I thought that Vegeta had a few things to think about.
Haiku: (in a babyish voice) But Veggie's pore widdle mind can't compwehend any'ting hawd, I tawt.
Chikara: (blink, blink, stare) You DO know that Vegeta is standing right behind you, don't you?
Haiku: I'm dead, aren't I?
Chikara: Looks about that, doesn't it?
Vegeta: "Pore widdle mind''?!
Haiku: ......help......
Chikara: (watches Vegeta strangle Haiku from a safe distance) Hmm...interesting. Read and review, people; read and review...
