This was written one morning as a sort of prelude into Duo's thoughts while left to his own devices. If you don't like it, don't review. Simple enough? Good. This is my first attempt at anything Gundam Wing related, so please be gentle.
I don't own Gundam Wing. I write fanfics.
Shinigami's Thoughts
It's hard being the joker. The others see me and they know I always smile. And why shouldn't I? If nothing else it makes the others at least attempt the effort. Well, except for Heero, but he doesn't count. I don't think that guy ever smiles. At least I can get Wu Wu to smile every now and then, but usually he rages about the injustice of it. Poor Wu Wu. As for Heero though, I guess we all have our secrets and skeletons in the closet. Trowa has them, Wufei has them, even little Quatre has to have at least one! I know I have one. I'm Shinigami, and that's one hell of a secret! Seriously though...people die when I get too close to them. Solo, Sister Helen, that nice Preacher guy. They all died after trying to get close to me. Now most people would probably brush this off. "Duo" they'd say. "Why are you even thinking something as stupid as that?" but it's true, every word of it. Not like I want it to be though. I mean, I am the God of Death and all, but sometimes it hurts. I miss them. Not like anyone knows though. I'm Duo Maxwell and I always have a smile on my face! It's great knowing you can fool them all with a single smile and a laugh. For Gundam Pilots they sure trust some things at face value, but that's okay, I understand. I just wish I belonged. Trowa has Q-man, and even if they don't see it coming, I do. The attraction is obvious to me; those to like each other. Wufei likes his "quiet time", as I like to call it. That's when it's best to mess with him, he always gets so indignant, and it's kinda cute. But yeah, I may pick on them and make them laugh, but sometimes I wish I could just tell them how I feel. It hurts having to cry myself to sleep every night, but I do it silently. We wouldn't want to see Duo all teary-eyed now would we? I know I wouldn't. Seriously though, no one wants to see the sensitive side of Duo Maxwell, like Solo said "boys don't cry." But they do. I just wish they would accept me, but I bet deep down somewhere they're afraid to. Cause I'm the God of Death, and that carries a heavy price. I'm losing my humanity. But they won't see it, not one bit. I won't let these guys down. I may run, and I may hide, but I never tell a lie, and I promise these guys won't die because of me...I'd rather die first. I just...I wish I had someone to talk to...who could understand.
"Maxwell." Came the clear, resounding voice of Wufei as he interrupted Duo's thoughts. Duo started, looking up at the Chinese pilot with wide cobalt eyes.
"Ack! Oh. Hey Wu Wu, hows is?" he said, grinning broadly at the other pilot. Wufei winced inwardly at the cheerful greeting and merely nodded politely.
"Quatre has asked us to come downstairs and eat dinner; you've been up here alone...and quiet...all afternoon." He intoned, casting a glance over him. Duo bounced up off the bed, throwing him a grin and a wink.
"Aww, I didn't know you cared. Let's get downstairs and see what Q's made, I'm starving!" he took Wufei's arm and began to prance out of the room in his usual fashion, though Wufei caught a glimpse of something in his shining , happy eyes. Something akin to the sweet darkness of despair...
Short and bittersweet, just how I like it. Should I continue with this? Or leave it a one shot? You tell me.
