Chopsticks
Author: Drupadi
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Not Gundam Wing, Not the guys, not even the Chopsticks. Don't sue.
Ok this is going to be a weird fic worse than "Heero why do you?..." (which is posted at wufei duo. net without the spaces cuz this wont let me put a website in) This fic is dedicated to Jenn and Dave who in their fighting with a chopstick gave me the idea for this. Thank's you Two.
Warnings: THEY ALL DIE. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok I'll start now
It was Friday, Wufei's night to cook, he decided to treat the guys to Chinese food at the restaurant down the street because they were having an 'All You Can Eat' buffet. Which meant Duo would eat them out of business
"Fei, if its your night to cook then why are we eating out?"
"Because I don't feel like cooking, besides I said I'd pay for everything didn't I? Plus its an 'all you can eat'."
"YIPPIE FREE FOOD."
"Ok then lets get going."
At the restaurant they ordered their food and began eating. Duo of course was the first one done, and too lazy to get up, tried to swipe some food off of Heero's plate. Not realizing what he was doing Heero stabbed Duo in the hand with his chopstick.
"Oi! That hurt Ro'."
"Its Heero. Not Ro!"
Heero was sick of Duo always calling him 'Ro' and mooching, so he shoved his arm away which only served to knock him into Quatre, sending Quatre, chair and all, flying to the floor. When Quatre didn't get up Trowa went to investigate. Upon rolling him over Trowa noticed a chopstick embedded in Quatre's chest around the area of his heart. Trowa, furious now because Duo killed Quatre got up and started towards him. Wufei decided to finally intervene and stepped in front of Trowa before he could reach the doomed and dieing Duo.
"Move out of my way Chang. He killed Quatre."
"Why don't you try to make me move Cyclops?"
Trowa charged Wufei sending the Shenlong Pilot backwards into the table. Wufei's crashing into the table caused it to shatter and sent chopsticks and food everywhere. One chopstick hit Trowa with enough force that it went through his nose and into his cranial cavity 1 killing him instantaneously. Heero, now beyond his shock of killing Duo and Duo's killing of Quatre, and Wufei killing Trowa, walks up to Heero and pushes him away from the mess.
"Why did you have to kill him? We still need pilots for the war baka."
"Don't mess with me Heero Yuy. He was going to hurt Duo."
"I don't care. And he couldn't hurt Duo, because Duo's already DEAD!"2
"NO. He's Not"
Wufei pushed Heero backwards not believing it. Once Heero regained his balance he pushed Wufei back right into a waiter who was carrying new sets of chopsticks to the front. Several of the Chopsticks penetrated his spinal column killing him almost instantly. 3
"Oh great now I'm the only Gundam Pilot left. Shit. Sirens. Now I'm going to get in trouble with the local cops as well as being the only Gundam Pilot left"4
Heero started running for the back entrance, but wasn't watching where he was going and tripped over Duo's still form. Falling forward Heero landed with his face turned to the side and died. The chopstick Trowa had been holding went right through his temple. The Famous Gundam Pilots were dead, and all because Wufei didn't want to cook.
Owari
1 Is that even what its called?¿?¿
2 Just Assume Heero hit a major vein and he bled to death.
3 Yes, I believe it is possible to kill someone with a chopstick if you haven't already figured that out
4 I believe Heero and Trowa can be quite animated and talkative when no one else is around, hence the long sentence.
