AN: Im back!!! With another chappie!!! Readers: duh....why else would you update again? Author: *sweatdrop* good point......

?????: Hmm....I would make the chappies longer.....but it always messes up the formatting....maybe if i uploaded my chappies in text format.....so oki....ill give it a try...ill make my chappies teh usual 13 pages or more and upload it in text format....see how if it works......and toko and soujiro werent together remember? Theyre just "friends" for now.....^^

Crystal: Eep!! Im continuing the story!! *types furiously* .sdffkolhdfg: yukata!! Okies! Arigatougozaimasu!! *bows* *bows too low and falls over* Itai.......x_________X =]: *shniffles* thankies so much for your support! Im so touched.....*shniff* ???????: Soujiro and Toko get back together? Well, read and find out! ^_^ oh and dont forget to review again! ^_______________^0 *readers face fault*

We Meet Again

Several days passed as Toko stayed at the Kamiya Dojo. Her emotions would vary. Sometimes, especially during the nights of the full moon, she would have the look of loneliness in her now-always dull eyes and her smile would seem more fake and she was quiet. Othertimes, especially around Hikari, she would have the face of a carefree girl who had never had any problems.......

"Hikari!! Yamete!! (Stop) This is embarassing!!" A blushing Yahiko managed to stutter as he tried to shake off Hikari. "Mou!! Yahiko-chan!!" Hikari sighed as she happily glomped his arm. Tsubame had a blushing face as she tried to separate them. "Hikari! You still have to wash the dishes!" She said with a sweatdrop. "But...My Yahiko-chan is here!" pouted Hikari. "Im not your Yahiko-chan!!" Argued Yahiko.

Toko had an amused smile on her face. *Ah yes....every time we go to the Akabeko.....tsk tsk poor Yahiko* She thought, pitying the boy. Kaoru and Sano were fighting for the food, and Kenshin was calming them down. Toko being the only one not engaged in a "battle", her mind slowly wandered to a certain black haired, dark gray/dark brown eyed rurouni who was her ex- friend.

*Wonder what he's doing now.......* She caught herself thinking wistfully. Mentally slapping herself she thought again *Not that I care......* Her mind slipping in a state of depression, and her smile sliding from her face. Of course, no one noticed, for they were all occupied in arguing at the moment......

~Meanwhile......~

A rurouni slowly trudged his way into town. *Back again........to where it all started* He thought sadly......

~After lunch~

The Kenshingumi and Toko walked out of Akabeko, with Hikari sneaking out of work and following them. Hikari's eyes lit up at the sight of a store selling cute trinkets.

"Yahiko-chan!! Let's go look at that store!" She said happily as she rushed off in the store's direction. There......she bumped into someone.

"Oof!" Hikari cried as she fell to the floor. "Daijobu desuka?" A concerned voice asked. *That voice.......so familiar....* Hikari thought as she looked up. Eyes widening......she whispered...... "It's you...."

Soujiro was startled as he heard the blond girl whisper. "You're the other one that saved me!" Hikari said in an excited voice. "Other one?" Soujiro blinked. "You and Toko nee-san!!" "To...Toko? She is here?"

Toko and the Kenshingumi rushed off after Hikari. *That girl is going to get herself in big trouble disappearing like that* She thought as she ran, and saw the one who has been breaking through both her dreams and nightmares. She stared into the eyes of her betrayer...........

Both masked ones thought at the same time....... *It's you.......*

Kenshin and the others caught up with them. "Sou-kun! You're back!" Kaoru said cheerfully. "Oi, Tenken, I think Toko here missed you terribly" Sano remarked. Kenshin narrowed his eyes, thinking *What will happen now?*

Both Toko and Soujiro stared into each others eyes, both looking for what emotions lay hidden. *His eyes......I can barely see through them.....i imagined them to be full of arrogance....but wait.....was that a flicker of......relief?!* Toko thought.

*She.....has changed.....I can tell.....her face has a worn look and her eyes......so....unnerving.....so....dead......did I....do this?* Soujiro sadly wondered.

Toko narrowed her eyes. "Sano, take Yahiko and Hikari back to the Dojo." She said grimly. "Nande? Oh...I know! You just want to be with Tenken alone huh?" The dense Sano smirked....but the smile fled from his face as soon as he saw Toko's face.

The masked ones.....were unmasked..... Soujiro's face one of guilt and regret......Toko's face hatred and......sadness? Hurt?

"Now." Toko repeated, never looking away from Soujiro's eyes.

Sano said nothing as he ushered the 2 kids away. Hikari and Yahiko were sullen and quiet, sensing the tension in the air. Hikari didn't even try to glomp Yahiko all the way back.

"Kenshin.....what's wrong with them?" Kaoru said tearfully as she moved closer to the red haired rurouni for comfort. "Something they have to settle alone...." Kenshin said quietly as he led Kaoru away from the two.

Now alone.....the two once-friends stood staring at one another.

"Tenken no Soujiro, I swore I would kill you the next time I saw you..... and now we meet again." The long ponytailed girl said seriously. Soujiro gave a small nod and said "I remember......but not here....we will fight elsewhere."

With that, he ran off, motioning for Toko to follow.

They ran to a quiet secluded area in a forest. "Before we battle.......that day........you mentioned 'Him'.....what did He do?" Soujiro asked, referring to the Him that Toko spoke of on the day he betrayed her.

"Him.....He was......Yoshitaka......When I was about...13.......he appeared at my uncle's house. He secretly promised me.......that he would take me away from that horrid place.....He promised me.....that he would never leave me....and that I meant more to him than anything......." Toko began slowly....

"I trusted him with all my heart.......I was a fool. On the day we were supposed to sneak away, we were caught. I found out that Yoshitaka was working for my uncle. He was supposed to see if I was loyal to our family. Apparently I wasn't. As a punishment, I was whipped 150 times, and kicked and beaten."

Toko pulled her shirt lower at the back, revealing long scar marks.

"This was what I got for trusting someone. At that time.....I swore I would never trust someone again....but instead....you came...and with your act......you fooled me....." She adjusted her shirt back and she looked at Soujiro, tears of hate in her eyes.

"But....it was worth it.....3 years later.........I killed him....Yoshitaka was going to beat me again.....spit in my face....so I took my sword and stabbed it straight through his heart." She said almost cruelly.

"And this is where I haven't told you the whole truth......when I said my Uncle was robbed......turns out Yoshitaka robbed them and he was going to run away with the money, but since I killed him, Uncle didn't want the family reputation ruined because Yoshitaka was supposingly a good friend of ours. So he decided to kill me and say that because I wasn't born into a real family.....I got jealous of them so I decided to get revenge on them by robbing them and running away...........and that was when you saved me........" She continued painfully.

*Toko.....killed someone?* Soujiro thought, *she must have been living in guilt for the rest of her life......*

"Toko.....I didnt mean what I said....." Soujiro said slowly....

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAY IT AT ALL?!" Toko interupted. Tears of anger streamed through her face.

"Kisama.......dont try your act on me again! It won't work!" She screamed. She rushed at him with her straight sword. Soujiro dodged her.

"Toko....listen!! I wasn't thinking! My mind.....my thoughts were somewhere else!" He said between breaths as he grabbed Toko's hands and pushed her against a tree, not allowing her to move.

"Stop lying......Fight me!" Toko yelled angrily as she gritted her teeth.

*Why......I'm supposed to hate you.......but why.........do I feel like......I will only hurt myself more by killing you?*

With a savage yank she pulled herself free from Soujiro's grasp and struck again. "I thought you were my friend! The one person I could trust!" She yelled angrily.

*No.....you were more than a friend.....*

Tears blurred her vision. "Fight me dammit!" She yelled.

~Soujiro's POV~

I looked at her...... "I am your friend and you can still trust me now!" I yelled. I looked into her eyes. Beneath the tears.....I saw.....emotions ......never have I seen her so open.

The pain was evident in her eyes......she was deeply hurt.

*Why....why does she hate me so much? I know I was her only friend....but that shouldn't have caused her to hate me so much.....*

Wait.......a flicker....a flicker of....... *Could it be? Such an emotion I have never seen directed at me.......* My eyes widened slightly. *Could she.......love me? Is that why she was so hurt?*

"Toko.....could it be.....you're so hurt......because.....you loved me?" I whispered, not believing what i was saying.

I could see the shock in her eyes as she froze, her mind racing with a dozen thoughts. She shook her head hard, as if trying to clear thoughts out of her head. "Yamete.......(stop) STOP SAYING THINGS THAT ARENT TRUE!" She said angrily as she attacked me again.

Her tone of voice was laced with anger....but her eyes.......her eyes told me that I was right. *She loved me.....and.......I.......loved her......but we never told each other because we were scared that the other would reject us and our friendship would be torn*

~Toko's POV~

*How could he have known? Soujiro....I loved you....I still do.......Iie.....I would never love him......* I thought angrily.

But his eyes.......even as I attacked him......His eyes were so full of truth.....sincerity...... *It's just an act........Dont be fooled* I thought to myself.

I managed to slam him into a tree. I struck at him......but he grabbed my arms. "Why.........Why do you make me feel this way.....Im supposed to hate you......To kill you and be glad you're gone......but.......instead..........I feel.........different........." I whispered to him. I watched his eyes widen.

~Soujiro's POV~

*Supposed to hate me........Supposed.......Toko.......you dont know how much I love you.....* I wanted to cry out desperately, but I knew she would think I was lying.

"Why is it.....that when Im near you....I feel as if everything will be alright..........even though you're a complete liar....." She said again, as if trying not to believe what she was saying.

"Toko......I.....I'm sorry that I hurt you......" I nervously said, but I was interrupted. "Stop making excuses........go" Toko said as she turned away, her back towards me.

"Go......before I change my mind......" She said again, her voice almost inaudible. "Demo....(But) Toko.....I-" *Toko......I love you.......* But I didn't have a chance to tell her.

"GO!!!!" She screamed at me. "Why won't you listen?! I dont want to kill you! Now go before I am forced to do so!"

~Toko's POV~

*Why won't he leave? I want him out out of my life......right?*





*right?*



"Toko....." I heard him say softly as he stepped towards me.

*What is he trying to do? Play me into his act again? Can't he see I'm already caught in his web of lies? I want to get away........I tried to kill him......but instead I'm letting him go.......and now......he wants me to become even more entangled in his web?*

I leaped back and slammed the hilt of my sword against his face. He barely dodged the attack.....escaping with a little bruise.

"TEMME (You bastard) JUST GO ALREADY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?! YOU ALREADY HURT ME......WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!?!"



~Soujiro's POV~

"WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!"

The words struck me deeply.

*What more did I want? Do I want her to confess and say she loves me too? Maybe if I just get out of her life.....she'll be happier........is that what she wants? To forget about me?*

"G-Gomen....I.....I'll leave now...."

I turned around and started walking out of her sight......but I had to tell her something first......I just had to......it wouldnt matter how she would react anyway.......since we weren't friends anymore......

"Toko.....I just wanted to say.......A.....Aishiteru.........."

I could sense her tensing up, debating what to say in her mind......

"It's too late" She seethed. "Get out of my life.......STOP CAUSING ME MISERY!"

I turned around to face her. But she was gone; ran away. I felt drops of water spill onto my hand, my shirt.

*Is it.......raining?* I wondered. I lifted my hands to my face.....only to feel more drops of water.

*No....Im......crying.......*

~Toko's POV~

*Aishiteru.........I love you........*

Those words whispered in my mind over and over........a never ending cycle.

*Yamete.........YAMETE! STOP STOP!!!*

I fell to the floor, clutching my head.

*Im supposed to forget about him!! He doesn't love me!! He's lying! USOTSKI (Liar)*

AN: i know its not spelled that way....but its just pronounced kinda like that.....



I lifted my hands to my face.....staring at them dazed.........

*Am i really that gullible? That naiive? I don't think I am.....but then...why do I find myself believing what Soujiro said?*

~Narrator's POV~

Both the boy and the girl sat/stood where they were.....tears streaming down their faces..........hearts torn to pieces......

~Kamiya Dojo~

"Kenshin?" The short, scarred swordsman looked up. "Nani, Kaoru-dono? (what?)" "Toko and Sou-kun isn't back yet.......do you think something happened to them?" Kaoru said worriedly. "Wakaranai (I don't know)" Kenshin said. "Can you look for them?" "Kaoru-dono.....I dont know if that is a good idea de gozaru......" "Onegai? (Please?) Kenshin? I'm really worried.........."

Kenshin sighed. "Very well........."

Kenshin went out of the dojo. *Hmm...where could they have gone?*

~Village of Lost Souls~

Toko sat there rocking back and forth, her tear-stained face looking miserably at the air. The people there avoided her.....not because of her pale face, her lonely expression, or her freakish smile.......but..........

Her dead eyes...........it made her look like she was a living corpse.

~Back to Kenshin~

"Where have they gone degozaru ka......." Kenshin muttered to himself. Wait....Right there! A flash of a blade.......a blur of blue!

Walking quietly towards Soujiro.....he gasped in shock at what Soujiro was going to do.

~Camera zooms to Soujiro~

After cleaning himself, Soujiro looked around for a quiet and peaceful place. After a few minutes, he found the spot he had been looking for. A quiet place with small patches of wildflowers, with the musky scent of wood.

*This will be the place* He decided.

With his small smile and extremely sad eyes, he looked up at the sky. "Well, Shishio-san.......looks like you and Yumi-neesan will be getting an unexpected visit from me......"

He lowered his head and whispered "Shishio-san......you were right.....as always......The strong live and the weak die.........Im too weak Shishio-san.......so weak I cannot even handle a thing such as love......I cannot control my emotions, therefore i cannot control myself.......so weak.........."

Soujiros voice was now below a whisper "So weak.......That I am going to die at the hands of.......myself"

Talking again in a normal voice, he said "I hope you won't scold me too much for being weak Shishio-san.......See you soon"

Soujiro took out his sword, looking at how the blade flashes brightly at the sunlight, and wondering how it could dull so much after being covered in blood. *Covered in my blood* He thought dazedly, *I have always wondered how much a blade hurts.....afterall......punches hurt a lot.....a blade must hurt even more......but......if Yumi-neesan can take it (readers who dont know what Im talking about just think of Shishio's battle with Kenshin).....then I can too..........*

He took the blade by the hilt with both hands, and plunged it towards his stomach.......

Only to have it deflected away.

"Nani?!" He muttered angrily.

"What do you think you're doing?" A voice of a certain red haired ex rurouni said coldly. "What does it look like?" "You're killing yourself." "I know" "Why?" "Because........it'll end all the pain I caused......." "You're just running away." "Iie....some people are happier with me being dead." "What about Toko?" "As I said.......some people are happier with me being dead."

~Village of Lost Souls~

The girl rocked back and forth, back and forth, lost in deep thought.

A drunkard dared come up to her.

"Hey, missy? Looking for a night of fun?" He mumbled pervertedly. (He's drunk so he doesnt really know what he's doing)

SLASH

*THUD*

The man's upper body flew a few feet away while his lower body fell with a sickening thump.

The girl continued rocking back and forth, her straight sword shining with fresh blood.

~Camera swings over to Kenshin~

"As I said.......some people are happier with me being dead." *What does he mean? Toko can't.....possibly want him dead......* Kenshin thought to himself. "Are you talking about Toko?" He asked. "Stop asking questions you already know the answers to, Himura-san" Soujiro said with his adoring smile, but his voice betrayed him, full of agony and despair. "Toko doesn't want you dead." "Really? Well.....that's a relief." Soujiro said sarcastically.

"I mean it." "I believe you." Soujiro said again, his voice laced with fake happiness.

"Can I have my sword back?" Soujiro asked hopefully.

"No, I know you're going to try to kill yourself again." "Ah....Himura-san......you know me too well..." "Soujiro.......I'm serious.......Toko doesnt want you dead. She loves you." Soujiro's voice seemed to waver and his pupils slightly narrowed.

"Himura-san........do not assume too much.....you dont even know what is going on. She doesn't love me.......she made that clear when she rejected my apology."

*And my feelings* He thought bitterly.

"Himura-san, if you dont believe me, maybe you should go talk to Toko......" "Kaoru said she was going to do that." "Sou desuka? (Is that so?)" "Aa. (Yea)"

*Wonder what Kaoru-san will find out?* Soujiro wondered.



~Village of Lost Souls~

The girl huddled against the wall, her arms wrapped around her legs, rocking back and forth.........that was how Kaoru found her.

"Toko-chan! Daijobu desuka?!" Kaoru said fearfully as she kneeled down besides Toko and put a hand on her shoulder. Toko shrank away from the comforting gesture, letting out a whimper as if she was scared.

"Toko-chan?"

No answer.

"Toko-chan.......what happened?" Kaoru tentively asked Toko. Toko started rocking back and forth again. "I'll never tell~" She said in an unhuman sing-song voice.

AN: we all know what that phrase was from.....er......that movie.........well if ya dont know what Im talking about......I forgot the title of that movie so dont ask......^^;;)

"Toko-chan!!" Kaoru said desperately.

Silence.

Toko just rocked back and forth, lost in her own world.

Kaoru sighed.

*What happened?!*

Kaoru went to tell Kenshin of Toko's condition.

~Kamiya Dojo~

Kaoru and Kenshin met back there. Kenshin literally dragging Soujiro along, who didn't want to come. Kenshin tossed him against a tree, where Soujiro slumped over, grinning stupidly.

"What's wrong with Sou-kun?" Kaoru asked. "He tried to kill himself." Kenshin said hoarsely, "What about Toko-dono?" "Shes.......Shes lost it...." Kaoru mumbled as she shook her head. "I found her at the Village of Lost Souls........I dont know what is wrong with her.......shes just......its like.......her mind isnt there anymore.....like she's just an empy husk filled with insanity."

Kenshin raised an eyebrow. "Shes.....gone.......insane?"

Kaoru gave a slight nod. "Seems so......and I saw a dead rotting corpse near her.......I dont know what happened but she might have killed him."

Kenshin turned towards Soujiro. "Soujiro tell us now..........what happened?"

"Oro? Soujiro?"

Soujiro was gone.

Soujiro used his shukuchi and ran. He ran as fast as he could.

*Shes.......Shes lost it......her mind isnt there anymore.......empty husk filled with insanity............insane?..............she might have killed him........rotting corpse.........*

The words repeated over and over in his head. *Has she.....gone insane because of me?*

~Village of Lost Souls~

The girl rocked back and forth, ignoring the stares some of the outcasts gave her.

Back and forth.....back and forth..........

Soujiro arrived. He looked around for the happy girl he once knew. He wished he would find her bounding to him and crying 'Sou-chan!' But instead, he found dirty shacks filled with seemingly hostile people.

He went up to the first man. "Have you seen a girl with a long ponytail and foreign clothing?" He asked. The man looked up and smiled, showing decaying teeth. "Gotta pay for information lad." He chuckled.

Soujiro knocked him over with his sword which he had gotten back from Kenshin. He lifted the man by the collar. "Where.......is........she" He gritted, his face suddenly sliding from his mask. "In the back of the village!! Watch out.......she kills anyone near her." The frightened man stuttered.

Soujiro dropped the man and ran towards the back of the village.

The girl rocked back and forth............and stopped.

She blinked once, her dead eyes seeming to form a look of mischief. Her grin became wider. "He is coming........."

Soujiro found her with that look. He almost couldn't recognize her. He saw the small body looking so helpless and vulnerable......until he saw the corpse and the bloodied sword.

"To.....Toko-chan?" He whispered. The girl ignored him. "Toko? It's me.....Soujiro....." He said again.

Once again, the girl made no answer.

"Toko-chan......Look.....I'm-" He was cut off.

"Do you know what love is? What peace is? And happiness? I don't." Toko, her grin contradicting her emotionless voice.

"Toko?" Soujiro questioned.

"But I know what hatred, darkness, despair, and loneliness is. I know it very well. So well.....I forgot about happiness. Happiness and peace disturbs me." She stated again.

"Toko-chan.....are you......there?" Soujiro questioned.

No answer.

"Toko-chan.....please.....talk to me......ple-" He was cut off again.

Toko's face had twisted into a look of anger, though her smile was still there.

"I can hear the bird's chirping. They sound so happy. I hate happiness." She said emotionlessly and in one swift motion, she threw her mini shuriken at the bird, cutting its head off. The body fell to the floor.

Soujiro stared at her in shock. *She's acting so cruel.......so indifferent.......*

Toko regained her dazed grin. "There. No more happy disturbances. I can wallow in agony again." She said happily. "Toko......" Soujiro took a step towards the girl.

Toko's face seemed to reflect hatred. "Don't come near me." Her face softened, seeming almost like the Toko Soujiro once knew. "Please.......don't......." She whispered softly.

Suddenly, she clutched her head.....she shook her head and clenched her fist. She looked up. Her face emotionless except for the smile.....her eyes dead again.

"Don't come near me" She repeated.

Soujiro almost broke down.

*I.....I hurt her so much....but......she turned back to her old self for a short while.........she can still be saved from insanity......just like she saved me.......* He took another step towards her.

And another step.

Toko started shivering.

"Yamete........stop.......don't come closer.......DONT COME CLOSER!!" She shrieked, crawling frantically into a corner and huddling there, shivering almost in fright.

Suddenly, she became limp, and almost in an instant she had opened her eyes again. Her eyes suddenly full of life.

"Please, don't come near me.........I might do something I'll regret......please.....I dont want to kill......I dont want to kill........" She murmured over and over again, clutching her head and rocking back and forth.

"Toko.......I've come to save you.......please.......let me help you........" Soujiro tried to convince her. After one more step, Toko changed again........

Her face contorted in agony, as if two sides fighting with each other. She stood up, still clutching her head. Staggering backwards, she stumbled over a dead body and fell down. When she raised her head.....it was once again.....devoid of any emotion except for a smile and dead eyes.

She sat there, unmoving, her smile seemingly mysterious. Soujiro took a step near her. There, he noticed.......tears fell down her unmoving face. She didn't blink. The tears just fell down her face, while her dead eyes stared into the air, her smile unwavering.

*I know the Toko I love is still there.......shes the one crying......* Soujiro thought to himself.

Taking one more step........



SLASH



Metal against metal, blade against blade.

Toko had slashed at Soujiro, but thanks to Soujiro's instincts, he dodged in the nick of time. Toko stood up slashing at him repeatedly, her face with no emotion except for the grin, and her tears.

Pushing Toko down, Soujiro knelt towards her.

"Toko......Gomen.........please......say my name........Toko.....my name"

Toko looked at Soujiro, her face in confusion for a moment. Then she snarled,





"Yoshitaka."





AN: Finally! Another chappie! WAHHAHAHAHA ooooiiii Toko went cuckoo!! What now? Will she ever get better? Who knows?!?! Well i do....but im not telling....wahahahahha......remember......reviews make Toko (as in the author) very happy! SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!

*Glomps her soujiro and okita plushies*

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