A little while later, I was in Kendall's office, waiting for him to return from a meeting. It only took about ten minutes for him to return. During that time, I worked at keeping my emotions in check. If he knew that I was losing my grip, he would surely revoke my access to my mother on the spot. But if I could make him think I was handling everything and keeping my sanity at the same time, I could delay the inevitable just a bit longer.

As he came in, I could see him looking at me from the corner of his eye, though he tried to hide it. He walked to his desk and sat down, looking at me with what was, presumably, intended as sympathy. He didn't pull it off very well.

"How are you holding up?" he questioned brusquely.

"I'm fine," I said shortly, my mind still working overtime to keep calm and not rip his head off then and there.

"Are you sure you can handle continued exposure to Derevko?"

"Can I handle it? I can more than handle it; I need it. She truly is the last thing I have left at this moment. And if we don't recover my father and Vaughn…" I trailed off, not trusting my voice to remain steady. He nodded.

"I'm not so sure she's good for you. However, I'll allow you to remain in contact with her until further noticed." I had to fight to keep back the surprise; that had been easier than I'd imagined. Perhaps too easy, I mused suspiciously. Kendall gave me an odd look.

"Agent Bristow?" I shook myself and hoped I hadn't just killed my chances.

"Sorry, I was just thinking…" I stopped, unsure of what to say to excuse my absentness.

"We will find them. You do believe that, right?" I almost sighed in relief. He had given me a perfect way out.

"Of course. But, um… what's being done about getting them back?"

"We have surveillance teams trying to determine if it's safe to attempt an extraction." I waited, assuming he would continue. He didn't.

"That's it?" He frowned.

"It's all we can do for now, Agent Bristow." Feeling my anger rising to the surface, I knew it was time to leave before I blew everything.

"Thank you," I said tersely as I stood up.

"I want you seeing Dr. Barnett on a regular basis. If you don't, I'll revoke your access." That was new. I rolled my eyes as I walked to the door.

"I would appreciate an acknowledgement, Agent Bristow."

"I'll go set up a meeting later," I gritted out.

"Thank you." His voice was anything but thankful, and it once again took all I had to keep me from doing something drastic.

Weiss met me as I walked out.

"Don't you have some kind of actual job around here?" I asked, trying to keep my mind off Kendall. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah. My job is to follow you around and make sure you don't do anything irrational that you'd regret later." He said it jokingly, but his eyes were serious.

"Weiss, I'm not going to do anything I'll regret. I promise." And it was true. I wouldn't regret getting my mother out of her cell and working with her and Sark to rescue my father and Vaughn. I might never be able to come back to the CIA afterwards, but I still wouldn't regret it. I'd regret nothing if it led to bringing them back.

"Are you sure of that Syd?"

"Yes." He stopped walking and grabbed my arm, causing me to stop as well. After a long moment, he nodded.

"Ok then. Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all."

"Thank you." Weiss started to walk away, but stopped as something apparently occurred to him.

"Syd, where… um… where are you staying, now that…" I cut him off with a reply.

"My dad's place. I have a key."

"Do you need a ride?"

"No. It's not that far, I'd like to walk. Clear my head and whatnot." He nodded again.

"Take care of yourself, Syd."

"I will. You too." He gave me one last careful look before turning to leave. I watched him until he left the building, and then I exited as well, pulling out my cell phone to call Sark. He answered on the second ring.

"Sark."

"He's not taking away my clearance as long as I meet with Dr. Barnett."

"Good. We'll move within the next three days, cut down on how much time you have to spend with that shrink." I almost laughed out loud.

"You don't even know her," I pointed out.

"I don't need to. I'll call you as soon as everything is set up on this end."

"Fine." I put my phone back into my pocket and began the walk to my father's apartment.