What you don't know

'Yeah, well, you're just a freak No wonder you have no friends!'
'I have more friends than you do!'
'Oh, really? Do they exist?'
'I hate you!'
'Good! The feeling is mutual!'
Lily Evans' green eyes flashed dangerously as she turned away and ran up the stairs, fleeing to her bed in the sixth year dorms. James Potter watched her go, shaking with fury.
'Why? What is her PROBLEM?' he asked, not directing his question to anyone in particular. Without waiting for an answer, he too stormed to his own dorm. He felt like crying, but James Potter didn't cry. Instead he drew the hangings around his bed and stared at the ceiling numbly.

*

Lily Evans was lying face down on her bed, sobbing into her pillow. She wished she wasn't crying, wished that James didn't make her cry, but he did. "Doesn't he realize it hurts? Why is he such a jerk? I hate him!' she informed her pillow.
The problem with this statement, which Lily had been telling herself and every who would listen, was that she didn't believe it. And she was the only one. There wasn't a soul on the planet that wouldn't bet their life on Lily and James hating each other.
Unfortunately, Lily had realized some time ago that she didn't hate James. For some reason or another, she didn't hate him. Not at all. It was the exact opposite.

*

'Hey Prongs!' Sirius voice floated in from the doorway. James didn't say anything. 'That was some shouting match between you and Evans earlier.'
James ignored Sirius. He wished that he didn't care that Lily hated him. He would have given anything not to feel the way he did. But it was impossible. He loved Lily Evans.

*

"He's right though," Lily said, sitting up and drawing her knees up and putting her arms around them. "I DON'T have any friends. I mean, you can't blame them. I'm so. weird. in a very annoying way. I'm weird, annoying, ugly, loud, obnoxious, rude, bratty, ugly.' she tugged on her braid. Lily had long red hair that she almost always wore pulled back. She hated the way it looked when it was down, but sometimes she wore it that way anyway, because she liked the feel. When she did that, however, she winced every time she looked in the mirror. "I mean, sure," she continued. "I have my little group of friends, but there isn't anyone that I really click with. Is that normal? That no one cares about me?
"No being sad, Lily," she reminded herself. "Just pretend that you aren't completely in love with him, and. put it all. behind you. energy!"
Grinning brightly, she jumped up from her bed, smoothed her hair, and muttered a charm that would take the redness from her eyes so no one would be able to tell that she had been crying.

*

James was sitting in the common room, having recently been dragged there by Sirius. He was watching the stairs leading up the girl's dormitories intently, and ignoring his best friend who was talking about plans for the next full moon.
Why? Why did it have to be Lily Evans? Of course he was frustrated by her, but only because she was so perfect! So perfect it hurt to look at her, to watch her bounce up and down when she excited, and twirl the end of her red braid in her hands when she was bored. She was funny, quirky, outgoing, intelligent, nice, sweet. not to mention beautiful. It was obvious why he had fallen for her. But why did she have to hate him so much? He was completely in love with her. And she was completely oblivious.

Suddenly he realized that Lily was coming down the stairs. He felt his heart jump in his chest, and he wanted to run to her and hug her and tell her that he didn't hate her and.
James stopped and looked away, faking disdain. But he noticed the huge smile on her face as she walked over to her two friends, Alice and Hestia, and jumped in front of them, acting something out and laughing loudly. Her red hair was in a braid. Why did she always do that? He wished she would take it out. It always looked so beautiful, the wavy red falling down her back.
Why did she have to be so amazing?

*

Lily laughed as she told Hestia and Alice about a conversation she had with Kingsley during lunch.
'. And he LAUGHED at me! Asked me if I was PROUD of my fish! And I said that I was thank you very much. So then he asked if my fish had a name, and I said that it did, and he asked what, and I told him: Tonka. And we just DIED laughing!' Lily ended, giggling at the memory. Hestia laughed with her. She could feel someone's eyes on her, and she turned around.
James. He was so gorgeous. His deep hazel eyes fixed on her. His messy black hair. He rumpled it just then, as she looked at him, and as her heart jumped, she remembered that he hated her. And she supposedly hated him. Why did she pretend to? She was completely in love with him. He probably had a girlfriend, come to think of it. And he hated her. Why him? Why?
Of course, she knew why. Sometimes he frustrated her, he was so perfect. in an imperfect way. Dang it, he was funny, nice (if not to her), sweet, weird, smart, outgoing, loyal to his friends. and gorgeous, not that it mattered.
His dark eyebrows were furrowed as he looked at her, his eyes filled with an expression that she didn't recognize.
Their eyes met, and both of them looked away.
Happier, Lily turned her full attention to Alice, who was excitedly telling her and Hestia about a conversation she had with Frank Longbottom during charms.
James had not glared at her!

*

She was always Lily in his thoughts. Sure he called her Evans to her face, but a lot went on inside his head that nobody knew about.
And Lily had not glared at him! A million times happier, he turned to Sirius and cheerfully discussed the upcoming full moon.

* * *

"Attention please! Our Head Boy and Girl, Arthur Weasley and Jennie Applegate, have decided to hold a Christmas Ball! Fourth years and above, of course, with dress robes required. It will be held in one month!"
'Why are they holding it a week before Christmas?' Hestia wondered out loud.
'Probably so that students can go home AND attend the ball,' Lily pointed out. 'Are you guys staying for the holidays?'
'No,' Hestia and Alice said at the same time.
'Me either,' Lily told them, smiling outwardly, but inwardly dreading the next month. She didn't want to see James with another girl.

She didn't notice James staring at her, and he didn't notice the glance she shot at him once his back was turned.