When Bad-Guys get Hiccups: and other Pointless Stories
Part 3, When Dead People stay Dead.
Disclaimer: You should already know this by now, so I'm not gonna 'disclaim' anymore.
Note: I'm really assuming you know what happens in the game, and as YOU've probably assumed, this takes place at Aeris' death scene, so um, yeah, don't kill me for making fun of it. This also makes a lot of fun at Cloud and Sephiroth, but since I own Sephy, I can do that. Rated PG for death and a stupid, cliche parody.
"We've got to find her!" Cloud exclaimed, looking around frantically.
"Yes, why would Aeris just run off like that?" Tifa asked, and wondered why Cloud was looking through a treasure chest.
Cloud looked up and asked, "Who?"
Tifa was confused, "Aeris, you know, the one we're looking for...?"
"Is that her name? I thought it was just, 'The Chick in Loveless'."
"Er...Cloud...are we talking about the same person here?" Tifa asked him.
"I dunno, I'm looking for my 'Loveless' poster." Cloud answered, still searching. He then exclaimed and pulled out a poster of the play, 'Loveless'. Tifa just smacked her forehead and sighed. She, Vincent and Cloud were all in the Forgotten Capital, looking for Aeris. At least, she and Vincent were, it seemed. Cloud sighed at the poster, "I can't wait to see this.... I heard another one's coming out called 'I Want to be Your Canary' I wonder who plays the chick in that? I also heard about 'Moggle Wannabe 2'...I hope it's better than the first, the first didn't have any hot chicks...."
Tifa sighed again and thought about leaving Cloud here, admiring his poster and his love of the words chick, chicks and chicky, while she and Vincent else looked for Aeris....or maybe..."Hey, Cloud, we're gonna go look for a pretty g-- I mean, er...a hot chick...wanna come?"
Clouds eyes snapped up. "You mean a real one? One that might actually go for me and isn't just in a play?"
"Er...yeah...so are you in?"
"You bet, chicky! Let's go find this other hot chick!" Cloud exclaimed jumping up, "Cloud's back on the Chick in Distress Rescuse Team!"
"Cloud, my name's Tifa, you know."
"Whatev' chicky, c'mon, let's GO!" Cloud said, pulling her arm out the door of the weird shell-house thingie. Tifa let herself be dragged. At least there was one thing she could be sure of; Cloud could find girls in an instant. It was like he could smell them or something...of course, it could be because of all the perfume....
Cloud led the way to a bright stairway- really bright. In fact, it was so bright that Cloud had to close his eyes, making footing difficult and eventually he tripped and fell, dragging Tifa with him. They both fell with a splash. Vincent jumped down, landing on the land rather than getting himself wet.
Cloud got out of the water ignoring Tifa, who didn't know how to swim. He sniffed, "I smell chick..."
"Isn't a chick a young Chocobo or something?" Vincent asked, helping Tifa out of the water.
"No," Tifa said, wringing the water out of her hair, "They're called Chicobo's or Baby Chocobo's, depening on which game you're from...."
Meanwhile, Cloud was jumping rocks and found himself standing in front of a girl...or should I say chick? She seemed to be praying. "Hey, you're supposed to be a hot chick!" he exclaimed.
She opened her eyes, "I'm not?"
"No way! You're just a...a cute chick!"
Tifa followed Cloud. "Aeris! You're safe!"
Aeris smiled, "Yes...NOW LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN FINISH SAVING THIS STUPID PLANET!!"
Vincent was looking around, not really noticing her outburst, "Why does this place look like a dried-up aquarium?"
Aeris smiled again, "Well, this place used to be called Atlantis, before it's name was forgotten...literally, It's called the Forgotten City."
Vincent nodded and started cleaning his fingernails, "Ah..."
Tifa was getting impatient, "C'mon Aeris, let's get out of here, I feel some sort of oncoming dread feeling, you know?"
Just then, a shadow fell over them, growing smaller until a tall man with silver hair stood by them. He was holding an extremly long sword and smirked at their expressions of suprise and fear. "Muahahahahaha!!! It is I, Sephiroth, the all powerful. FEAR ME!!"
Cloud yawned, "I'm bored...can we find something to do now?"
Sephiroth glared at him. "You are going to listen to my bad guy speech!" He rummaged in his cape with one hand, apparantly looking for something.
Not being able to look properly with only one hand free, he looked around for somewhere to put his sword. Well...there was a convenient girl kneeling right there. "Here, hold my sword." he said to her, distractedly plunging it through her back so far, it came out the other side. Tifa stared in shock as Aeris' eyes glazed over and she hung limp over the sword.
Sephiroth found a paper in his cape and pulled it out. He then retreived his sword from Aeris' dead body nonchalantly. Aeris fell forward into Cloud's arms.
"Hey, cool!" Cloud said, examining Aeris' body. "Is that sword a lightsaber or something to cauterize the blood, because she's not bleeding!"
Sephiroth sighed and announced, "You will all bow down to me, because you will fear my evil bad guy speech!!"
"Isn't that a bit redundant?" Vincent asked, "I mean, evil bad? It's like saying big large, or small little, it's improper."
"And who do you think you are, young man, reprimanding me like that?" Sephiroth asked, turning his evil bad glare on him.
"I'm not a 'Young Man'. I'm old enough to be your father." Vincent said, glaring back.
Sephiroth snorted, "You, my father?"
Vincent looked at him coldly, and in deep voice he said, "Yes. Sephiroth, I am your father."
"Noooooooo!!!!" Sephiroth exclaimed in horror.
"Well, okay, I MIGHT be. I was very in love with your real mother," Vincent confessed, "But she cheated on me with Hojo, and I'm not really sure who's son you are..."
"This is all very interesting." Tifa said sweetly, "but can we all get back to; SEPHIROTH JUST KILLED AERIS!?!?!?!?!"
Vincent looked at her, "Be quiet, Daddy's trying to think of how to punish his son. I know, you don't get to dive for three months."
Sephiroth's eyes widened, "But...but..."
"Now, no arguing. This should teach you not to kill people, and if you do it again, I'll take away driving privileges for a YEAR. Now go sit on your bed!"
Sephiroth pouted and flew into the air, vanishing.
Cloud, wondered what he was supposed to do with this dead body in his arms. Well, there was a lake right there.... So Cloud threw her with his skinny-yet-abnormaly-strong arms into the lake and let her sink to the bottom. Within five minutes he had completly forgotten the whole episode and was now wondering how close Icicle was...he had heard they had great snowboarding....
Hermionehobbit: -.- That was even more pointless than the others. It didn't even makes sense to me, and I'm the author. It could be because I wrote this in, like, fifteen minutes. Again, part of this story idea came from my brother. -sigh- It's so sad how this world works, no?
Well, I'm kind of at a loss for more story ideas. All of these stories came from me just thinking of a title, and then writing a story to fit that, so if YOU have any ideas for a story title, (such as When Sombody Does Something) you can suggest it when you review, and PLEASE REVIEW! I think I'm on a roll here, even though I have school!
Part 3, When Dead People stay Dead.
Disclaimer: You should already know this by now, so I'm not gonna 'disclaim' anymore.
Note: I'm really assuming you know what happens in the game, and as YOU've probably assumed, this takes place at Aeris' death scene, so um, yeah, don't kill me for making fun of it. This also makes a lot of fun at Cloud and Sephiroth, but since I own Sephy, I can do that. Rated PG for death and a stupid, cliche parody.
"We've got to find her!" Cloud exclaimed, looking around frantically.
"Yes, why would Aeris just run off like that?" Tifa asked, and wondered why Cloud was looking through a treasure chest.
Cloud looked up and asked, "Who?"
Tifa was confused, "Aeris, you know, the one we're looking for...?"
"Is that her name? I thought it was just, 'The Chick in Loveless'."
"Er...Cloud...are we talking about the same person here?" Tifa asked him.
"I dunno, I'm looking for my 'Loveless' poster." Cloud answered, still searching. He then exclaimed and pulled out a poster of the play, 'Loveless'. Tifa just smacked her forehead and sighed. She, Vincent and Cloud were all in the Forgotten Capital, looking for Aeris. At least, she and Vincent were, it seemed. Cloud sighed at the poster, "I can't wait to see this.... I heard another one's coming out called 'I Want to be Your Canary' I wonder who plays the chick in that? I also heard about 'Moggle Wannabe 2'...I hope it's better than the first, the first didn't have any hot chicks...."
Tifa sighed again and thought about leaving Cloud here, admiring his poster and his love of the words chick, chicks and chicky, while she and Vincent else looked for Aeris....or maybe..."Hey, Cloud, we're gonna go look for a pretty g-- I mean, er...a hot chick...wanna come?"
Clouds eyes snapped up. "You mean a real one? One that might actually go for me and isn't just in a play?"
"Er...yeah...so are you in?"
"You bet, chicky! Let's go find this other hot chick!" Cloud exclaimed jumping up, "Cloud's back on the Chick in Distress Rescuse Team!"
"Cloud, my name's Tifa, you know."
"Whatev' chicky, c'mon, let's GO!" Cloud said, pulling her arm out the door of the weird shell-house thingie. Tifa let herself be dragged. At least there was one thing she could be sure of; Cloud could find girls in an instant. It was like he could smell them or something...of course, it could be because of all the perfume....
Cloud led the way to a bright stairway- really bright. In fact, it was so bright that Cloud had to close his eyes, making footing difficult and eventually he tripped and fell, dragging Tifa with him. They both fell with a splash. Vincent jumped down, landing on the land rather than getting himself wet.
Cloud got out of the water ignoring Tifa, who didn't know how to swim. He sniffed, "I smell chick..."
"Isn't a chick a young Chocobo or something?" Vincent asked, helping Tifa out of the water.
"No," Tifa said, wringing the water out of her hair, "They're called Chicobo's or Baby Chocobo's, depening on which game you're from...."
Meanwhile, Cloud was jumping rocks and found himself standing in front of a girl...or should I say chick? She seemed to be praying. "Hey, you're supposed to be a hot chick!" he exclaimed.
She opened her eyes, "I'm not?"
"No way! You're just a...a cute chick!"
Tifa followed Cloud. "Aeris! You're safe!"
Aeris smiled, "Yes...NOW LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN FINISH SAVING THIS STUPID PLANET!!"
Vincent was looking around, not really noticing her outburst, "Why does this place look like a dried-up aquarium?"
Aeris smiled again, "Well, this place used to be called Atlantis, before it's name was forgotten...literally, It's called the Forgotten City."
Vincent nodded and started cleaning his fingernails, "Ah..."
Tifa was getting impatient, "C'mon Aeris, let's get out of here, I feel some sort of oncoming dread feeling, you know?"
Just then, a shadow fell over them, growing smaller until a tall man with silver hair stood by them. He was holding an extremly long sword and smirked at their expressions of suprise and fear. "Muahahahahaha!!! It is I, Sephiroth, the all powerful. FEAR ME!!"
Cloud yawned, "I'm bored...can we find something to do now?"
Sephiroth glared at him. "You are going to listen to my bad guy speech!" He rummaged in his cape with one hand, apparantly looking for something.
Not being able to look properly with only one hand free, he looked around for somewhere to put his sword. Well...there was a convenient girl kneeling right there. "Here, hold my sword." he said to her, distractedly plunging it through her back so far, it came out the other side. Tifa stared in shock as Aeris' eyes glazed over and she hung limp over the sword.
Sephiroth found a paper in his cape and pulled it out. He then retreived his sword from Aeris' dead body nonchalantly. Aeris fell forward into Cloud's arms.
"Hey, cool!" Cloud said, examining Aeris' body. "Is that sword a lightsaber or something to cauterize the blood, because she's not bleeding!"
Sephiroth sighed and announced, "You will all bow down to me, because you will fear my evil bad guy speech!!"
"Isn't that a bit redundant?" Vincent asked, "I mean, evil bad? It's like saying big large, or small little, it's improper."
"And who do you think you are, young man, reprimanding me like that?" Sephiroth asked, turning his evil bad glare on him.
"I'm not a 'Young Man'. I'm old enough to be your father." Vincent said, glaring back.
Sephiroth snorted, "You, my father?"
Vincent looked at him coldly, and in deep voice he said, "Yes. Sephiroth, I am your father."
"Noooooooo!!!!" Sephiroth exclaimed in horror.
"Well, okay, I MIGHT be. I was very in love with your real mother," Vincent confessed, "But she cheated on me with Hojo, and I'm not really sure who's son you are..."
"This is all very interesting." Tifa said sweetly, "but can we all get back to; SEPHIROTH JUST KILLED AERIS!?!?!?!?!"
Vincent looked at her, "Be quiet, Daddy's trying to think of how to punish his son. I know, you don't get to dive for three months."
Sephiroth's eyes widened, "But...but..."
"Now, no arguing. This should teach you not to kill people, and if you do it again, I'll take away driving privileges for a YEAR. Now go sit on your bed!"
Sephiroth pouted and flew into the air, vanishing.
Cloud, wondered what he was supposed to do with this dead body in his arms. Well, there was a lake right there.... So Cloud threw her with his skinny-yet-abnormaly-strong arms into the lake and let her sink to the bottom. Within five minutes he had completly forgotten the whole episode and was now wondering how close Icicle was...he had heard they had great snowboarding....
Hermionehobbit: -.- That was even more pointless than the others. It didn't even makes sense to me, and I'm the author. It could be because I wrote this in, like, fifteen minutes. Again, part of this story idea came from my brother. -sigh- It's so sad how this world works, no?
Well, I'm kind of at a loss for more story ideas. All of these stories came from me just thinking of a title, and then writing a story to fit that, so if YOU have any ideas for a story title, (such as When Sombody Does Something) you can suggest it when you review, and PLEASE REVIEW! I think I'm on a roll here, even though I have school!
