Feelings Escape

Change to Sark POV

Damn, I wish this never happened.  Why did I ever become involved with the Covenant?  I am so stupid.  I wish I could tell Adrienne everything.  It hurts me to see her like this.  It is all my fault that this is how it turned out…, but I knew this would happen someday.  All those years I looked after her, even if I never got to personally.  I paid with my own money all those camps she went to, activities, her music.  God, why did it have to be like this?  Damn that Rambaldi for causing us so much pain.  If he saw how much agony we all are in, I think he would have changed his mind on this whole prophecy.  Adrienne has become like my little sister, and I just don't want to see her like this.  I only wish I could have told Sydney about her child…I don't' know if I ever will be able to.   But right now, I can't take back what I have done, I must keep on pushing on, and do the thing I most dread…fulfill the prophecy. 

His mind wanders to how Sydney would take it if he told her. 

            If I told Sydney, she probably would give me a good beating.  She and I have always been mortal enemies.  Yup, I'd almost certainly be dead once those words came out of my mouth.  I know I have to tell her, but how can I?  I don't even know where she is right now…I've been out of the spy business for a long time now, I don't even know if my contacts are still around and/or trustworthy?  What am I to do?  I can't keep Adrienne from her real mother, but I can't keep her away from the mother and father she's grown up to love and be cared by.  This is extremely complicated, I don't know if I'm able to handle this.  All these years, and how would I tell Sydney?  How would I even tell Sydney that I love her…?