The silvery glow of the moon beamed down on Kyle as he wearily unlocked the front door to his house. All he wanted to do right now was crawl into bed and fall into a deep, deep sleep. He was so exhausted, he thought he would collapse right there on the front steps. He managed to make it into his home and he headed upstairs and straight for the bathroom.

He flicked the light switch on and there he stood, frozen in shock. It took a moment for the realization to sink in, and when it did, it hit Kyle full force in the face like an angry fist. "Oh my God. OH MY GOD!" He yelled. He was hysterical. He kept chanting it over and over, finally falling to his knees in grief.

"Stan. Why?" He cried. "Why would you do something like this?" He sobbed into his hands. He couldn't stand to look at all the blood. He couldn't bear to see the deep and angry slash wounds Stan had done to himself with the fairly big and fairly sharp knife that had fallen to the floor. Something compelled him to look over at the sink. He welcomed the distraction, but only to be even more disturbed. He stood up shakily and picked up a piece of paper torn from a notebook. It was folded in half and had a single name written on the outside: Kyle.

Dear Kyle,

I know how shocked and upset you must be right now. The past few months have been total hell for me. You were on my mind almost every second of every day. I didn't know if you were that way or if I should even tell you, so I had no idea what to do. I was thinking about you constantly. I would even imagine you in my arms and kissing me. At night, I would dream of a secret, sexual rendezvous between you and me. Then I would wake up, ashamed and disappointed. Ashamed that I had such ililicit thoughts about my best friend. Disappointed that you weren't really by my side, holding me. the stress and pressure of not being able to tell you or anyone else was eating away at me.

I don't ask or beg for your forgiveness. That would be ridiculous. No. The only thing I ask of you right now is understanding. Please try to understand what I did and why I did it. I only did this because I loved you. I fell in love with you.

Don't think for one second that I never cared about you. Because I do. I cared so much for you, I had to this. I had to free my soul. I knew I would never have you. You were forbidden love. You were just a dream, an illusion. You're so beautiful. Never forget that. I'll always love you.

Stan

Kyle's tears were beginning to soak through the paper, but he didn't care. He let it slip through his fingers and flutter to the ground. He forced himself to look at the dead body of his best friend. "Why Stan? Why did you do this to yourself, to me? We could have talked this through. We could have worked it out together. We could've been something." Kyle murmured to himself.

Suddenly, he wasn't so tired anymore. He'd never been more alert in his entire life. He just stared and stared at the lifeless body, his thoughts going a hundred miles an hour. But one thing remained crystal and painfully clear to Kyle. "I'm sorry you never knew. I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you." Kyle curled up in a ball in one corner, sobbing and rocking back and forth, his heart breaking in a million pieces. "I fell in love with you, too."