Chapter 3: Confusion and guilt reign supreme
As time ticked by, Susan remained in Marks' arms, not really knowing what to do. She had just cheated on her boyfriend by having sex with her best friend.
As she got out of bed her eyes met Marks. Something was wrong, but what they had done felt so right.
Susan ran her fingers through her hair and sighed heavily. She had to get back to her apartment seeing as Carter was coming round after his shift finished. How she was going to cope would be interesting.
What she needed now was time not company. She felt like she needed an eternity to sort her head out.
"Where are you going?" Mark asked
"Mark, I have to go. John is coming round to mine when he finishes work. It'll look a bit suspicious if I'm not in at gone midnight." Susan answered
"Yeah I guess you're right. Susan, I thought I'd let you know, I don't regret this." Mark said
"Me neither, but I need some time now to decide what to do." Susan replied
Mark just muttered a quiet "I know." Before Susan got dressed and said goodbye.
"At least she knows how I feel now"
But once again Mark was alone in his apartment. He went back to the table where the aspirin and whisky sat. His mind was a mess. A barren land where confusion and guilt reign supreme.
He had really enjoyed what had happened with Susan, but he had also betrayed a good friend. As Mark gulped the whisky he felt tired. The next thing he was slumped over the table in a state of drunken unconsciousness.
As Susan made her way home she was unaware of the state Mark was in. He was sinking into the depths of depression and no-one knew. There was only one person who could save him and turn his life around... Susan.
It would be a tough decision for Susan to make and right now all she wanted was to be left alone to make it, but in about 15 minutes Carter would be arriving and she would have to fake being happy.
As Susan stared out of her window into another dark Chicago night a light knock came at the door. She contemplated not answering and then saying she had fallen asleep. After all would that be such a terrible lie, it was 12.15am. Normal people were asleep.
Deciding against lying, Susan slowly made her way to the door. As she opened it a smiling Carter greeted her with a kiss. One that made it clear what kind of mood he was in.
However, this mood did not match that of Susan's. She was worn out from her earlier exertions and right now just wanted to curl up in bed.
"What's up? You seem a bit distracted. Is the whole Mark thing still getting you down?" Carter asked sensitively.
"No. Actually he came to apologise tonight. We had a good long talk, went for a walk. In fact I've not long been back." Susan replied
"So are you two ok now? Does this mean the tension at work will disperse?" Carter asked
"Yeah, I guess so." Susan answered as she got up and walked to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water.
Carter looked at her. In fact it was almost like he was looking straight through her, like he knew what she had done. Susan loved Carter, she really did. But she knew she wasn't in love with him. The chemistry was there, but it didn't make her stomach flip like it did when she kissed Mark.
"But this could grow into something. How will I know if I throw it away now?" Susan thought
Susan remained in the kitchen, almost lost in her own little world, when Carter came in.
"Do you want me to leave? You seem exhausted." He asked
"No, stay. But do you mind if we just go to bed?" Susan replied
"Sure. I'll just put the wine in the fridge, we can have it some other time." Carter answered
Susan knew Carter was a great guy, but so was Mark. As she lay in bed with Carters' arms around her she let a tear slip down her face.
As the alarm went off at 7.45am, Susan quietly got out of bed and went to have a shower. She felt awful, almost like she was hung over. Her head hurt and her stomach churned.
Over the other side of town Mark was stirring from his unconscious state. He was hung over, severely.
As he reached for his glasses he spotted the aspirin bottle. As he took two of the tablets he recalled the nights events. Had he really slept with Susan? Had he told her he loved her?
But as cruel reality dawned, he realised. Although all those things had happened she was still with Carter.
Probably spent the night in bed with him. She's probably still wrapped up in duvet with him now. Mark thought
However, this was not the case. Susan had dressed as quickly as she could and left her apartment before waking Carter. She just left a note
John, In a bit of a rush this morning, didn't want to wake you. Let yourself out
whenever you want. Call you later.
Susan
X
As Susan made her way through the streets of Chicago she was hoping the walk would clear he head.
Fat chance Susan thought.
Susan was in a trance as she crossed the street right in front of an on coming taxi. The driver attempted to brake but the roads were wet from rain during the night, and he hit Susan.
She hit the tarmac like a rag doll. She could just about hear people shouting CALL 911, but after that everything went black, as Susan passed out.
The next thing Susan knew she was still lying on her back but she could sense long corridors of light. She was in hospital.
Her head was pounding and her back hurt like hell. The first words she uttered as she began to come round were
"Mark? Mark are you here?"
"Dr Lewis, you've been involved in an RTA. You've been unconscious for 15 minutes. Do you know where you are now?" Lydia asked
"Hospital? County?" Susan answered
"That's right hon, you're in safe hands now, we'll take care of you." Haleh replied
"All right let's get this party started! Dr Lewis, been arguing with automobiles? That's a nasty habit. Maybe we should get you into some kind of rehab programme." Dr Romano quipped, but Susan was still to drowsy to respond
"Mark. Where's Mark?" Susan asked again
"Ah so you two have made up, how sweet. Shame I lost out on the sweep stake as to how long your little feud was going to last." Romano said
"Dr Romano, I think you can clear Dr Lewis of needing any surgical treatment." Haleh snapped "Ok, then my work here is done." Romano said as he left
"Dr Greene isn't on for another half an hour. I'll see if he's arrived." Haleh said
As Haleh left the trauma room and made her way to the desk, Mark was just entering the building.
"Dr Greene, Dr Lewis has been in an accident and she's asking for you. Glad you two made up." Haleh said
As Mark made his way to the trauma room where Susan was, he couldn't think of what to say to her when he did see her. He was planning to talk about last night, but that plan had to be scrapped now.
Guess this is just one of those times you have to shut up and not say a word, unless its needed. Mark thought
"Hey you." Mark whispered
Susan could only manage a weary "Hi" but she squeezed Mark's hand to let him know that she was grateful that he was here.
He had been so close to killing himself just 12 hours earlier. He was still a wreck, emotionally, physically, and mentally. And he knew that as soon as Carter showed up he would be thrust out again. And that was the worst pain of all. That and being strangled by depression.
As time ticked by, Susan remained in Marks' arms, not really knowing what to do. She had just cheated on her boyfriend by having sex with her best friend.
As she got out of bed her eyes met Marks. Something was wrong, but what they had done felt so right.
Susan ran her fingers through her hair and sighed heavily. She had to get back to her apartment seeing as Carter was coming round after his shift finished. How she was going to cope would be interesting.
What she needed now was time not company. She felt like she needed an eternity to sort her head out.
"Where are you going?" Mark asked
"Mark, I have to go. John is coming round to mine when he finishes work. It'll look a bit suspicious if I'm not in at gone midnight." Susan answered
"Yeah I guess you're right. Susan, I thought I'd let you know, I don't regret this." Mark said
"Me neither, but I need some time now to decide what to do." Susan replied
Mark just muttered a quiet "I know." Before Susan got dressed and said goodbye.
"At least she knows how I feel now"
But once again Mark was alone in his apartment. He went back to the table where the aspirin and whisky sat. His mind was a mess. A barren land where confusion and guilt reign supreme.
He had really enjoyed what had happened with Susan, but he had also betrayed a good friend. As Mark gulped the whisky he felt tired. The next thing he was slumped over the table in a state of drunken unconsciousness.
As Susan made her way home she was unaware of the state Mark was in. He was sinking into the depths of depression and no-one knew. There was only one person who could save him and turn his life around... Susan.
It would be a tough decision for Susan to make and right now all she wanted was to be left alone to make it, but in about 15 minutes Carter would be arriving and she would have to fake being happy.
As Susan stared out of her window into another dark Chicago night a light knock came at the door. She contemplated not answering and then saying she had fallen asleep. After all would that be such a terrible lie, it was 12.15am. Normal people were asleep.
Deciding against lying, Susan slowly made her way to the door. As she opened it a smiling Carter greeted her with a kiss. One that made it clear what kind of mood he was in.
However, this mood did not match that of Susan's. She was worn out from her earlier exertions and right now just wanted to curl up in bed.
"What's up? You seem a bit distracted. Is the whole Mark thing still getting you down?" Carter asked sensitively.
"No. Actually he came to apologise tonight. We had a good long talk, went for a walk. In fact I've not long been back." Susan replied
"So are you two ok now? Does this mean the tension at work will disperse?" Carter asked
"Yeah, I guess so." Susan answered as she got up and walked to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water.
Carter looked at her. In fact it was almost like he was looking straight through her, like he knew what she had done. Susan loved Carter, she really did. But she knew she wasn't in love with him. The chemistry was there, but it didn't make her stomach flip like it did when she kissed Mark.
"But this could grow into something. How will I know if I throw it away now?" Susan thought
Susan remained in the kitchen, almost lost in her own little world, when Carter came in.
"Do you want me to leave? You seem exhausted." He asked
"No, stay. But do you mind if we just go to bed?" Susan replied
"Sure. I'll just put the wine in the fridge, we can have it some other time." Carter answered
Susan knew Carter was a great guy, but so was Mark. As she lay in bed with Carters' arms around her she let a tear slip down her face.
As the alarm went off at 7.45am, Susan quietly got out of bed and went to have a shower. She felt awful, almost like she was hung over. Her head hurt and her stomach churned.
Over the other side of town Mark was stirring from his unconscious state. He was hung over, severely.
As he reached for his glasses he spotted the aspirin bottle. As he took two of the tablets he recalled the nights events. Had he really slept with Susan? Had he told her he loved her?
But as cruel reality dawned, he realised. Although all those things had happened she was still with Carter.
Probably spent the night in bed with him. She's probably still wrapped up in duvet with him now. Mark thought
However, this was not the case. Susan had dressed as quickly as she could and left her apartment before waking Carter. She just left a note
John, In a bit of a rush this morning, didn't want to wake you. Let yourself out
whenever you want. Call you later.
Susan
X
As Susan made her way through the streets of Chicago she was hoping the walk would clear he head.
Fat chance Susan thought.
Susan was in a trance as she crossed the street right in front of an on coming taxi. The driver attempted to brake but the roads were wet from rain during the night, and he hit Susan.
She hit the tarmac like a rag doll. She could just about hear people shouting CALL 911, but after that everything went black, as Susan passed out.
The next thing Susan knew she was still lying on her back but she could sense long corridors of light. She was in hospital.
Her head was pounding and her back hurt like hell. The first words she uttered as she began to come round were
"Mark? Mark are you here?"
"Dr Lewis, you've been involved in an RTA. You've been unconscious for 15 minutes. Do you know where you are now?" Lydia asked
"Hospital? County?" Susan answered
"That's right hon, you're in safe hands now, we'll take care of you." Haleh replied
"All right let's get this party started! Dr Lewis, been arguing with automobiles? That's a nasty habit. Maybe we should get you into some kind of rehab programme." Dr Romano quipped, but Susan was still to drowsy to respond
"Mark. Where's Mark?" Susan asked again
"Ah so you two have made up, how sweet. Shame I lost out on the sweep stake as to how long your little feud was going to last." Romano said
"Dr Romano, I think you can clear Dr Lewis of needing any surgical treatment." Haleh snapped "Ok, then my work here is done." Romano said as he left
"Dr Greene isn't on for another half an hour. I'll see if he's arrived." Haleh said
As Haleh left the trauma room and made her way to the desk, Mark was just entering the building.
"Dr Greene, Dr Lewis has been in an accident and she's asking for you. Glad you two made up." Haleh said
As Mark made his way to the trauma room where Susan was, he couldn't think of what to say to her when he did see her. He was planning to talk about last night, but that plan had to be scrapped now.
Guess this is just one of those times you have to shut up and not say a word, unless its needed. Mark thought
"Hey you." Mark whispered
Susan could only manage a weary "Hi" but she squeezed Mark's hand to let him know that she was grateful that he was here.
He had been so close to killing himself just 12 hours earlier. He was still a wreck, emotionally, physically, and mentally. And he knew that as soon as Carter showed up he would be thrust out again. And that was the worst pain of all. That and being strangled by depression.
