Chapter Five: Fighting for the one you love
As Mark walked home, red hot tears scorched their way down his face. He couldn't believe that Susan didn't remember anything about last night, it had been so wonderful and now it felt like it meant nothing.
But something stopped Mark from going any further. He thought if he kissed Susan maybe that would help bring her memories back.
As Mark went back into Susan's room she looked surprised to see him. But before she could ask him to leave again he had placed a soft, gentle kiss on Susan's lips.
As Mark opened his eyes, he looked straight into Susan's. He saw a glimmer of feeling in her eyes, but then as he turned round he saw Carter coming up the corridor.
That look in her eyes was meant for him. He was the only one she could remember loving.
As Carter walked in Mark could see that he uncomfortable about all the time Mark was spending with Susan. The doctors had decided to keep Susan in a little while longer because of her memory problems.
"Hey you, how you feeling?" Carter asked
"I'm ok, just a bit tired." Susan replied
"Ok then, Mark and I will leave you alone for a while." Carter said adamantly
As they left, Mark knew what was coming.
"Mark, I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for all the time you're spending with Susan, but well, something doesn't seem quite right with you two." Carter said
"It's hard. She knows we made up but she doesn't remember how. And it meant a lot to me that she agreed to be friends again." Mark replied
"I understand that, but I think you're crowding her, she needs her own space. This won't be easy for her, she's very distressed." Carter stated
"And just because you two are sleeping together gives you the authority on who should and should not see her, and how much time we each get. How up your own ass can you get Carter?" Mark responded
"We're not just sleeping together Mark. We're in love. And you're intruding right now. I know you too are friends but I don't see why you're so determined to make her remember things so quickly. You've fallen out before, and made up each time." Carter replied
"Yeah but not like this time. This time was different." Mark answered
"What the hell was so different about this time? It's not fair for you to try and use Susan's friendship to validate your life. So tell me right now, what's going on?" Carter snapped back
"Ok Carter you really want to know?" Mark retaliated
"Damn right I do!" Carter replied
"I love her Carter!! That's the long and short of it, I'm crazy, madly, deeply in love with her!" Mark yelled
As the words leave Marks mouth, Susan steps out of her room and hears everything, just as she is about to ask to speak to Mark, and tell him she wants to be with Carter.
Hearing Mark say the words triggers Susan's memory into seeing images in her head of the time they had spent in bed together. Something inside her had jumped when she heard Mark say those words.
She knew she had feelings for him, but it was the depth of them that she was unsure of.
Before Mark or Carter had seen Susan she crept back into her room and they continued to argue.
"But Mark, loving her is just a hopeless fantasy. She's given you no indication that she loves you too." Carter said rather bluntly
"That's just the thing. She has. That was what is so different about how we made up this time. I went over to her apartment, to apologise, to tell her how I feel. To say that living my life without her being a part of it, would be a really shitty life to live. But when I told her I loved her, she said she didn't want to know. That she was in love with you but that her and I could be friends.."
"See" Carter interrupted
"If you'd let me finish Carter. Anyway, I left, feeling so down that she would never love me, I'd missed my chance and now all she wanted to do was be with you. However, half an hour later Susan came knocking at my door. I let her in, we talked and then we kissed." Mark continued
"Then if she wanted to kiss you, why did she insist she loved me? Did anything else happen?" Carter asked in a slightly defeated manner
Mark could see that telling Carter that he and Susan had slept together would just break his heart. He could see that Carter was in love with Susan, just like he was.
"No, nothing else happened. She didn't say anything to you because she was confused, she knew she had feelings for us both, but she had to sort her head out, and discover which one of us she wanted to be with." Mark replied
"But how do I know you're not lying and now she's lost her memory, you can fill her head with this story in the hope that's what she'll believe and decide that must have been what happened." Carter asked
"Because I love her and I wouldn't deceive her like that. I respect her too much. And I wouldn't lie to you like that either. We've been friends for years Carter and we've just happened to fall for the same wonderful woman. Who can blame us. Even when she's asleep or rushing around at work, she sparkles." Mark replied
"So where do we go from here? I love her, but now I also see how you feel. You talk about her with such warmth. Even when you two weren't talking there was still something there. I could sense it and it made me uneasy, but I believed she loved me." Carter's eyes were now filling with tears
"She does love you Carter. That's the problem, she loved us both before this happened, but now she only loves you. She doesn't remember her feelings for me. You have to be there for her, and if he feelings for me never resurface I'll have to deal with that." Mark said also with a waver to her voice
"But knowing she admitted to loving you while she was supposed to be in love with me hurts. How can I sit next to her, hold her hand and tell her I love her, even though I do." Carter asked
"Because that's just the way life goes." Mark replied
"And then what do I do if she suddenly remembers how she feels for you and I get left alone, pushed out?" Carter answered
"Do exactly what I'll have to do if she chooses you. Deal with it." Mark replied
As Mark said it turn around and walked down the corridor past Susan's room. He gave her a small wave before leaving, and as he did, he saw Carter walk into Susan's room with a smile on his face.
"Good actor" Mark thought
As Mark walked home, red hot tears scorched their way down his face. He couldn't believe that Susan didn't remember anything about last night, it had been so wonderful and now it felt like it meant nothing.
But something stopped Mark from going any further. He thought if he kissed Susan maybe that would help bring her memories back.
As Mark went back into Susan's room she looked surprised to see him. But before she could ask him to leave again he had placed a soft, gentle kiss on Susan's lips.
As Mark opened his eyes, he looked straight into Susan's. He saw a glimmer of feeling in her eyes, but then as he turned round he saw Carter coming up the corridor.
That look in her eyes was meant for him. He was the only one she could remember loving.
As Carter walked in Mark could see that he uncomfortable about all the time Mark was spending with Susan. The doctors had decided to keep Susan in a little while longer because of her memory problems.
"Hey you, how you feeling?" Carter asked
"I'm ok, just a bit tired." Susan replied
"Ok then, Mark and I will leave you alone for a while." Carter said adamantly
As they left, Mark knew what was coming.
"Mark, I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for all the time you're spending with Susan, but well, something doesn't seem quite right with you two." Carter said
"It's hard. She knows we made up but she doesn't remember how. And it meant a lot to me that she agreed to be friends again." Mark replied
"I understand that, but I think you're crowding her, she needs her own space. This won't be easy for her, she's very distressed." Carter stated
"And just because you two are sleeping together gives you the authority on who should and should not see her, and how much time we each get. How up your own ass can you get Carter?" Mark responded
"We're not just sleeping together Mark. We're in love. And you're intruding right now. I know you too are friends but I don't see why you're so determined to make her remember things so quickly. You've fallen out before, and made up each time." Carter replied
"Yeah but not like this time. This time was different." Mark answered
"What the hell was so different about this time? It's not fair for you to try and use Susan's friendship to validate your life. So tell me right now, what's going on?" Carter snapped back
"Ok Carter you really want to know?" Mark retaliated
"Damn right I do!" Carter replied
"I love her Carter!! That's the long and short of it, I'm crazy, madly, deeply in love with her!" Mark yelled
As the words leave Marks mouth, Susan steps out of her room and hears everything, just as she is about to ask to speak to Mark, and tell him she wants to be with Carter.
Hearing Mark say the words triggers Susan's memory into seeing images in her head of the time they had spent in bed together. Something inside her had jumped when she heard Mark say those words.
She knew she had feelings for him, but it was the depth of them that she was unsure of.
Before Mark or Carter had seen Susan she crept back into her room and they continued to argue.
"But Mark, loving her is just a hopeless fantasy. She's given you no indication that she loves you too." Carter said rather bluntly
"That's just the thing. She has. That was what is so different about how we made up this time. I went over to her apartment, to apologise, to tell her how I feel. To say that living my life without her being a part of it, would be a really shitty life to live. But when I told her I loved her, she said she didn't want to know. That she was in love with you but that her and I could be friends.."
"See" Carter interrupted
"If you'd let me finish Carter. Anyway, I left, feeling so down that she would never love me, I'd missed my chance and now all she wanted to do was be with you. However, half an hour later Susan came knocking at my door. I let her in, we talked and then we kissed." Mark continued
"Then if she wanted to kiss you, why did she insist she loved me? Did anything else happen?" Carter asked in a slightly defeated manner
Mark could see that telling Carter that he and Susan had slept together would just break his heart. He could see that Carter was in love with Susan, just like he was.
"No, nothing else happened. She didn't say anything to you because she was confused, she knew she had feelings for us both, but she had to sort her head out, and discover which one of us she wanted to be with." Mark replied
"But how do I know you're not lying and now she's lost her memory, you can fill her head with this story in the hope that's what she'll believe and decide that must have been what happened." Carter asked
"Because I love her and I wouldn't deceive her like that. I respect her too much. And I wouldn't lie to you like that either. We've been friends for years Carter and we've just happened to fall for the same wonderful woman. Who can blame us. Even when she's asleep or rushing around at work, she sparkles." Mark replied
"So where do we go from here? I love her, but now I also see how you feel. You talk about her with such warmth. Even when you two weren't talking there was still something there. I could sense it and it made me uneasy, but I believed she loved me." Carter's eyes were now filling with tears
"She does love you Carter. That's the problem, she loved us both before this happened, but now she only loves you. She doesn't remember her feelings for me. You have to be there for her, and if he feelings for me never resurface I'll have to deal with that." Mark said also with a waver to her voice
"But knowing she admitted to loving you while she was supposed to be in love with me hurts. How can I sit next to her, hold her hand and tell her I love her, even though I do." Carter asked
"Because that's just the way life goes." Mark replied
"And then what do I do if she suddenly remembers how she feels for you and I get left alone, pushed out?" Carter answered
"Do exactly what I'll have to do if she chooses you. Deal with it." Mark replied
As Mark said it turn around and walked down the corridor past Susan's room. He gave her a small wave before leaving, and as he did, he saw Carter walk into Susan's room with a smile on his face.
"Good actor" Mark thought
