For this chapter I have used some lyrics from a song, not by my favourite artist in the world, but I felt the song was quite fitting. And no I don't own the characters or the lyrics to the song, I just want to use them to express emotion.

Chapter Six: When the world comes crumbling down

As Mark began walking home for the second time that night, he couldn't help but wonder how many times he would have to do it, not knowing if Susan would be his or not. Never knowing if he would get to walk home with her beside him, their fingers entwined, then when reaching home sharing the heat of their bodies while they made love.

That was all Mark wanted in life. Yes, his job was important to him, but even if he lost it tomorrow he wouldn't care, if he had Susan by his side.

"Big If" Mark thought

They weren't the only thoughts that were occupying Mark's mind. He was finding life so hard at the moment. Just when he found out Susan loved him, she forgot it all. His love for her was all consuming, and it hurt to think that opening up and revealing all his feelings might have been for nothing.

He'd heard her utter those immortal words, the ones he'd wanted to hear for months. He just wanted to hold her, be by her side and imagine their life together.

Now once again he faced nothing but darkness. Not only on the streets of Chicago but also the darkness that had taken hold of his heart.

Back at the hospital Carter was still sat by Susan's bedside. She was turned away from him, he presumed she was sleeping, but really the tears were building in her eyes.

Hearing Mark say he was in love with her, had suddenly given her a rush of unbelievable emotion and feeling.

Now she was lying awake trying to collect her thoughts together. She had been plunged into turmoil all over again.

Carters mind was also spinning.

Had Susan really kissed Mark? And had she really done nothing more? How could she say she loved him when she was also telling Mark?

So many questions were floating around in his head and as Susan turned over his heart began to rule his head.

Her eyes met his and he just couldn't help but ask her. His heart would be broken if she chose Mark, at least this way he could start to prepare.

"Susan, there's something I really have to ask you," Carter said shyly "Oh ok." Susan replied

"When Mark and I went outside earlier we ended up having a bit of a fight. I guess I started it really." Carter said

"A fight?" Susan asked surprised

"Not a physical one. More an emotional one. I asked him why he was so keen for you to get your memory back and why he's spending so much time here. At first he was just insisting it was because you two were such good friends." Carter said as Susan interrupted

"Yeah. Why else would he be here? He'd do the same for you." Susan replied

"I don't think he feels the same about me as he does about you Susan." Carter continued

"I don't know what you mean." Susan lied

"Don't play me for the fool Susan. He told me how you two kissed and how you told him you loved him, that you loved us both but didn't know which one of us to choose. Is it true? Did you say all that? Was the memory loss just a way of buying yourself more time?" Carter asked

"No! I genuinely couldn't remember anything about what Mark was telling me. Then I stepped out of my room just as I heard him tell you he loved me. And all of a sudden it came flooding back. Not just little bits at a time, it all hit me at once. I remembered him coming over to my apartment, apologising, and then confessing he loved me. I remembered turning him away, then running through the streets of Chicago, knocking on his door and as I saw his face appear, just kissing him. I can't deny I love him, but I also couldn't deny to him that I loved you. I just don't know what to do." Susan said emotionally

"I've loved Mark for longer than I can remember, I was in love with him for a long time. Then you and I got together and I was happy, I realised Mark wasn't the only man I could fall in love with. Then him and I had that fight, I missed him in my life more than I care to admit, and I knew all those feelings hadn't gone away. And then, when he didn't apologise I started to get over those feelings and realised that I was falling in love with you. Then that night, there was a knock at my door, I thought it would be you, but it wasn't midnight. As I opened the door I saw Mark in the doorway, and to be honest he was the last person I wanted to see. But he asked for a chance to explain and so I let him. When he finished I knew that he was genuinely sorry, he was almost crying for Christ's sake. But when he said he loved me I asked him to go. I just didn't know how to deal with what he was saying." Susan began to cry as she finished speaking

"So that night when you seemed distant and just wanted to sleep, not make love or anything. That was why? Susan, I want to know, what else happened that night?" Carter enquired

"Ok, I'm telling you this to try and show how much I respect you, and to stop the lies. Mark and I did sleep together that night. It was the only time that it happened, but it felt special. I'm so sorry, I didn't plan this and I didn't see it coming. When I went over to Mark's both our emotions were so heightened and the adrenaline was rushing through our blood. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm sorry." Susan cried

"Mark told me nothing else happened, guess he was trying to prevent me getting hurt. But why are you sorry, you love him." Carter said

"I love you too, I don't know what to do." Susan continued to weep

"Then I'd better give you some time alone to think." Carter said as he left.

As the door shut in Susan's room she was alone. As Mark opened his apartment door, he was alone too.

He had stopped off at a bar on the way home to drown his sorrows. It now wasn't just his heart that was black it was his mind too. He hated his life, nothing was going right.

How could he compete with Carter. He had the looks, the personality, the money.

What did Mark have? The door mat personality, receding hair line, a small dark apartment.

"Yeah I'm the catch of the day" Mark thought

As Mark sat down on the couch, he picked up a pad of paper and a pen, and began to write.

Dear Susan,

When the world comes crumbling down, no-one knows what to do.

And now every time I try to fly, I fall without my wings, you're my wings Susan, always will be. I feel so small, I guess I need you more than I tell you. And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face it's haunting me.

I make believe that you are here in the darkness of my apartment I see an image of you. It's the only way that I can see clear

At night I pray that soon your face will fade away, but then I wish you would notice me, take my hand, why are we strangers when our love is strong?

Why should I carry on without you?

I love you, more than you will ever know.

Mark, xx