Reviews!
Mrs Nobody: Well, you reviewed Diaries, so I thought I'd give you a mention.
LJFan: This chapter will be funnier. I promise. Hopefully... I'm not really conscious of how amusing I am until either someone laughs, or someone reviews and tells me I'm amusing. Most of the time I don't mean to be funny, I'm just a bit lacking in the brains department and say stupid things all the time.
JuicyJuice: Sorry about the confusion! I don't think I'll redo it, cos I suck at redoing, but I can tell you what happened. Mary Sue dived in, had a vision of killing Hermione, then Hermione's body came up from the silt. The corpse caught her foot and Mary Sue dragged Hermione onto the pier. Then she detached her foot. That's it. Thanks for the longest review I got for that chapter!
Sofa Girl: Maybe I should put up a signpost saying this has a sequel. Awel, I have a lot of love for the reviewers.
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"I've... what?" Ella asked shakily.
"Before you say anything, I'm changing your name."
"But –"
"Don't thank me now, I've already forged your signature on the papers."
"But I don't want –"
"Now, I'm sure we can wear your new name in soon enough."
"I like my na-"
"Happy Being-Alive day, Angel Herpes."
"HERPES?"
"Great, isn't it?"
"NO!"
Dumbledore simply smiled and asked her about the lake.
"How are you alive?"
"Are you senile?"
"You spent three days underwater. Most thought you dead... we couldn't find a body."
"I seriously think you should consider a home for the elderly –"
"Angel, stop changing the subject."
"I'll go with Angel, but definitely not Herpes."
"ANGEL!"
"Yes, Professor?" For a second she thought he was about to say something reasonable...
"Did you use an aqualung?"
"Oh shutup. I found Hermione's body in the lake."
"And?"
"Shouldn't you be upset or something?"
"Why? As long as it wasn't harmed, I don't see any reason she can't live a perfectly ordinary life."
"Her dead body, Sherlock."
"Don't go changing your story now, lass!" He said, waggling a finger at her. "You young'uns... think you know everything... back in my day..."
He continued to ramble on in this vein, until suddenly, the back of his head smacked the top of his chair and he started to snore.
"Professor?" Angel said to the little line of drool coming down from his mouth. "Uh..."
Angel was saved, though, for McGonagall walked in at that precise moment, holding a bottle full off little yellow pills.
"You got him talking about the good old days, didn't you?" She said solemnly. "He won't wake for another few days... best leave him be."
"But I had an important message!" Said Angel, who had quite forgotten why she was here. McGonagall simply laughed, though, and waggled a finger at Angel, her second finger-waggling that day.
"So old, and the girls still chasing after him... he's old enough to be your great-grandfather, missy." With a shock, Angel remembered why she was here.
"Hermione's dead! I found her at the bottom of the lake... she's at the pier now!"
"Let's go then!" McGonagall said, bouncing after Angel like a superhero's annoying tag-along. But when they got to the pier...
"She's gone!"
"Huh?" McGonagall said. "Corpses don't just get up and walk away!"
"But they can get up and levitate away..." Angel muttered. McGonagall looked up, and sure enough, eyes blazing red, was the body of Hermione, doing strange movements...
"What are those strange movements she's doing?" McGonagall said. Angel's eyes widened.
"Professor... Please don't get frightened... but I believe she's doing the Macarena..."
Hermione stared straight at them and paused, with one hand behind her head and the other crossing her green-tinged chest. "Killed meeeeeee..." She breathed.
"What?" McGonagall said. "Who killed you?"
"The person whoooooooo killed meeeeeeeeeeeee is –"
"NO!" Angel screamed, throwing a rock at the floating corpse. It hit her in the eye, and she frowned, before dropping to the ground, lifeless once more.
"What did you do that for?" McGonagall said. "We were about to find out who the murderer is!"
"I, uh, thought I saw a fly." McGonagall nodded.
"Fair enough. Go back to the castle for some hot cocoa?"
"Count me in."
For Angel had not seen a fly that day... she had realised, she wasn't just watching these murders, oh no. She was comitting them.
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Big-assed A/N:
On the subject of chapter lengths: Hello! My chapters will be kind of shorter, but I'm trying to post them sooner. Next one will be within the week.
On the subject of reviewers: Thanks for not giving up on me, for knowing I was out there... somewhere... and not at the side of the road being eaten by an Alsatian.
On the subject of REAL LIFE Mary-Sues: Gypsy-Alexa has gone. For good, I hope! All hail EVERYTHING! I love life.
On the subject of MY LIFE: Letterman's on now. BYEBYE!
