Chapter Nine: Coming back to the light
As Susan sat by Mark's beside for the second day in a row, she felt her eyes becoming heavy. She had barely left the hospital since Mark had been admitted, she felt responsible for him lying in that hospital bed.
It had been thirty-six hours since Mark had moved his hand, but he was breathing on his own, so that was a positive. But all the waiting to see if Mark would actually wake up was almost too much to bear.
Carter had come in every now and again so Susan could get some sleep. But he felt uneasy being there. It was so hard to see someone he had idolised unconscious, with no definite prognosis. He might wake up, he might not. That was all that could be said.
As Susan returned from getting what seemed like her hundredth cup of coffee, she saw a change in Mark. His eyes were flickering and he was trying to tug at his I.V. Susan hurriedly rushed back to Mark's side, where she gently took his hand.
"I don't think you should be doing that." Susan said softly.
Mark slowly opened his eyes to focus on the figure that was talking so kindly to him.
"Susan?" Mark asked.
"Hey you. How you feeling?" Susan replied.
"I've been better. I feel really sleepy." Mark replied.
"Ok, well I'll leave you and let you get some rest." Susan answered quietly as she stroked Mark's head.
As Susan stood up to walk out of the door, she saw Mark slowly closing his eyes, and within minutes he was fast asleep.
As she walked out of ICU, Susan let a tear escape down her face. She was just so glad that Mark had woken up. She knew he had a long road ahead of him, but she knew that he could make it. Mark was strong, attempting suicide was just a moment of weakness. One that Susan was certain he wasn't going to experience again.
Susan needed sleep, so she headed downstairs to the lounge. The ER was quiet for once, and she wanted to stay near to where Mark was. She settled down on the couch and pulled a blanket over her.
She immediately fell asleep, and when she was woken up two and a half hours later, it was dark out side. Carter was shaking her awake.
"Hey Susan, Mark's awake. ICU called down and asked if you were still here. So I said I'd send you up." Carter said.
"Oh yeah. Thanks Carter. Hey, you ok?" Susan answered
"I'm fine Susan. Tell Mark I'll be up later ok? I gotta finish my shift before Kerry will allow me any kind of break."
Carter smiled as he helped a sleepy Susan up off the couch. It felt good to be touching her skin, and taking in the smell of her hair. But Carter couldn't allow himself to get carried away.
Even if her and Mark weren't together now, they soon would be.
Susan grabbed a coffee on the way up to ICU. It felt good to finally get some sleep, but she was still tired.
Susan carefully opened the door to Mark's room. She smiled when she saw Mark sat up in bed. He had the Bears game on TV but didn't look like he was really watching it.
"Hey." Susan said.
"Hey. Where's Carter?" Mark asked.
"He's working, he'll be in later." Susan answered.
"To take you home?" Mark asked sadly.
"No, we broke up." Susan replied.
"Really?" Mark asked surprised.
"Yeah. I was going to come and see you when I got out of this place. But then you were brought in here, and I just had to hope and pray you woke up. You had everyone scared, especially me. I didn't think I'd get the chance to tell you how I feel. But now you need time to recover. Get some therapy, but know that I'll be right here waiting." Susan responded.
"You're all the therapy I need." Mark answered.
"I'm serious Mark. What you did almost killed you. You need to see someone, they'll be admitting you to psyche soon, and I don't think it's fair of me to ask you to devote your energies to starting a relationship just yet." Susan said.
"You're still in love with Carter." Mark replied.
"No. I'm just doing what's best for you." Susan answered.
"I just didn't know what else to do. I had no-one to talk to." Mark sobbed.
"You could've come to me." Susan said.
"You and I both know that's not true." Mark responded.
"I'm sorry I made you feel so miserable. I should've chosen you the minute you showed up and told me you loved me." Susan replied.
"No, you needed time to think. I'd hurt you." Mark answered back.
"Not as badly as I've hurt you. Making you want to take your life because you were so unhappy is something I will never forgive myself for." Susan sobbed.
As the tears started to fall down Susan's face, Mark squeezed her hand.
"It wasn't all to do with you. And hey, if anyone should be crying it's me. I have to eat hospital food cooked by sweaty Betty in the hospital kitchen."
Susan smiled as Mark joked with her. But she hoped that he still wasn't trying to mask a horrible pain inside him.
"Mark, just promise me, that if you're ever feeling as bad as you have been recently, that you'll talk to me." Susan's tears slowly began to subside.
"I promise." Mark replied.
