To my wonderful reviewers of chapter 3 (if you decided to read this other ending) :
SleepingDove: Are you gonna hurt me now? hides poor Ryoma, but I felt so sorry for Tezuka ;;
Ookami Kage: I took me a while, but I sort of granted your request and continued with one final chapter
Sonic16: I still can't forgive myself for breaking Fuji and Tezuka up. Seriously I should not write angst, it doesn't go with my fluffy nature XD
Nice to know we both luv TezukaFuji and FujiRyoma equally!
risen: Your review makes me so happy! It shows you've given the fic some thought as well as the characters. Yes, I do agree with Fuji having the rule of seeing people suffer where they bend, but they never break…am I being unclear again? Sorry! I just tried my best to write a fic where Fuji was hurt and needed to feel loved again, plus fell in love again without wanting it, but it really just got confusing. Feelings are hard to explain, that's my excuse XD
Warning: Spoilers in, um, the episodes that are still raw, after the rikkaidai matches!
Disclaimer: Needless to say, but I don't own the boys, the anime or the manga! And I definitely wouldn't torture them with this much angst if I did!
Make you fall in love with me againChapter 4: Once again - the alternate ending
It had been almost a week since Ryoma felt like Fuji had started to slowly open up to him, and if Ryoma believed in sappiness he would've expressed himself by saying that he was in heaven right now.
That was before he heard the regulars were to take a trip to Germany to visit Tezuka. Worried looks had been thrown his way, or actually Fuji's way who had stood behind him, secretly running fingers against his back.
The fingers had stopped moving and stayed motionless on his back, the smile still in place as Fuji had taken in what Ryuzaki had informed about their plans.
And so there they were, stepping out of the bus parked outside the rehab Tezuka had been in for the last few months. The captain was there to greet them and Ryoma stood a couple of regulars away from his tensai, who was being targeted with Tezuka's looks.
Ryoma gritted his teeth, knowing how Fuji was rebuilding back the walls around him, this time leaving both Tezuka and Ryoma on the outside.
A feeling of helplessness swept over him. Ryoma could see how Fuji still had feelings for Tezuka, but all he could do was leave everything for the tensai to decide how he wanted to live his life.
It wasn't like Fuji had originally wanted Ryoma in his life anyway. Everytime Fuji had come over or brought Ryoma back to his place it was just to sleep together, then take a shower and then part almost immediately.
Fuji had without using any words made it clear that Ryoma was just his little sex toy and he had him whenever he wanted to.
That was before Ryoma had come up with a plan.
One night when Fuji had sneaked into his house, Ryoma had been ready and anticipated it all week.
As Fuji had taken Ryoma, the boy had handcuffed the tensai to himself. Fuji was a bit surprised since he had only been the one to tie Ryoma down not the other way around, but being in the middle of sex Fuji had just let it pass.
After crashing down upon the smaller boy and catching his breathing back to normal, Fuji had asked for the keys. Ryoma had told him that it was Fuji's handcuffs. Didn't he have the keys??
Although knowing Ryoma was lying Fuji found no other way than to spend the night at Ryoma's place. When morning came Fuji had realized it hadn't been so bad sleeping over in the arms of Ryoma and not Tezuka like he was used to, and ever since then Fuji had never gotten up and just left.
Ryoma smirked remembering how it had taken the tensai the whole morning practice time to pick the locks open and the two of them had arrived late and gone straight to lunch instead.
That was how Ryoma had gotten Fuji to bit by bit get used to being around him. He just hoped that now when the older boy was finally starting to open up to him, that he wouldn't lose him back to Tezuka and all his work and patience had been in vain.
Fuji stayed in the doorway to Tezuka's room as the other regulars, including Ryoma, made themselves familiar with the room almost as if they were all gonna stay in it.
The tensai could still feel both Tezuka's and Ryoma's looks upon him. Tezuka's was trying to see if Fuji had changed, and Ryoma who knew how Fuji had changed was trying to see how Fuji would react in every situation thrown at him.
It was toxicating and Fuji sneaked out of the room into the hallway. It wasn't as painful as he had thought seeing Tezuka again would be. No, it was so much worse.
All those feelings Fuji had had and some he still felt for the captain were starting to come back, along with forgotten and supressed memories. Parts of Fuji were blaming himself for not waiting. True Tezuka in a way had declared it was over since he didn't want Fuji to have to wait, but still…
If Fuji would've waited, remained single, he could've had Tezuka back when the boy eventually returned from Germany. The two boys could've been the two of them again. Seigaku's infamous perfect-for-each-other couple. The other golden pair.
But Fuji couldn't have had Ryoma then. Before he had 'broken up' with Tezuka, the thought of dating Ryoma had never even occurred to him, but Fuji was grateful that it had now. It made him almost believe that things did happen for a reason. And that all his pain wasn't for nothing.
Staring blankly out through the window Fuji knew there was only one thing to do. He would have to make the choice. He couldn't have both and he needed to stop thinking it was possible. He had to let go of either one.
Even if he chose Tezuka it wasn't sure Tezuka would still take him back, although wanting him back. The smartest choice would most likely be…
"Fuji?"
Fuji's eyes widened, tears forming in them as he heard Tezuka's deep voice behind him.
"The room was so crowded…" Fuji chocked out finally.
"Ah." Tezuka replied in a while and silence fell over them. The most awkward kind of them all. Fuji knew what Tezuka wanted to know. Tezuka could almost sense what he had done, almost could smell Ryoma's scent all over him.
Fuji gulped, hiding a sob in it. Why couldn't he stay strong? Now was the time he needed to, for Tezuka, for Ryoma. "Tezuka." he heard himself say and he turned around, eyes hidden again. "Tezuka, I need to tell you something."
"There's someone else." Tezuka finished it for him and Fuji stayed silent. The taller boy gave a sigh, as if to calm his nerves when noticing he had been right. "May I ask who it was?"
"Is."
This time it was Tezuka's turn to become quiet. Fuji followed carefully every slightest hint of expression on his captain's face. "It's alright." Fuji's looked confused at the other boy. "I ended it. You don't have to answer to me anymore."
It hurt so bad to see Fuji had found someone else in such a short period of time. To be replaced that easily, but Tezuka had only himself to blame and right now he wished he had asked Fuji to wait for him and to be patient. Their love had been so strong it could've lasted even if they were far away from each other.
Taking a quick look over Tezuka's shoulder, Fuji assured himself that the others were still inside the room and not noticing them. In a few steps he closed the gap between their bodies, wrapping his arms around the form of Tezuka, inhaling his scent and resting his head against that chest for one last time.
Tezuka jerked, surprised by the sudden action, but allowed himself to hug his ex-boyfriend back and tell himself the same lie Fuji had. 'One last time…'
"It's Ryoma." Fuji then whispered so quietly it was a miracle Tezuka managed to catch it. "I think I love him." Fuji then continued a little louder. "But I didn't from the start. At first…I just seeked comfort in him, feeling like you didn't care enough to tell me to stay yours."
"Fuji. It's alright. You don't have to explain."
Fuji's gaze sank to the floor, breaking apart. He could feel Tezuka's look upon him for what seemed like an eternity, before the captain turned around and joined the others in his room again.
Ryoma laid down on the bed in his hotel room. He wondered what Fuji had decided, if the tensai had at all. He had a haunting feeling he was losing the other boy.
Two knocks on his door interrupted his thoughts and Ryoma got up to open it. Fuji gave him a weak smile, where he stood in the hallway.
"May I come in?" Ryoma stepped out of the way and let Fuji enter. Checking that no one had seen them, Ryoma shut the door. "Ryoma, I'd like to fulfil my promise to you now."
"What promise?" Ryoma asked and Fuji went to sit down on his bed.
"I want to give myself to you, is it okay?" Fuji's answer drew a blank in his mind at first, where he stood glued to the floor. Why was Fuji asking for it now? He feared the worst, but said nothing.
He just nodded, slowly stepping closer to Fuji, who gave him a comforting smile and pulled him down on top of him on the bed. "Take it easy." Blue eyes set on golden and Ryoma bent down and kissed his lips.
Fuji stroke the black hair of the boy sleeping in his arms. It hurt his heart that he had caused Ryoma so much pain and the boy had never stopped waiting for Fuji. Never stopped trying. Never stopped believing in him. Because of that Fuji thought he could change, but he had been wrong.
He had tried to faithfully stay by his side and love him, but he had failed. He had, not Ryoma. Ryoma had been everything he had ever hoped for, but he knew where he belonged. Who his heart still beated so fast for. Was it just because Tezuka had been his first? Maybe. But Fuji was not gonna know until he took the courage to figure it out again.
Fuji stroke one more hair aside, before getting up. His body wasn't that sore when he reached to collect his clothes and dressed them on. Out of his pocket he took a pencil and a piece of paper.
Blue eyes fell on the form once more, placing the note on the bedtable. Ryoma was sleeping so peacefully. Fuji wished he wouldn't have to be the one to break this peace for Ryoma. Selfishly he wouldn't even have wanted to change his past with Ryoma if he had been able to.
Fuji kissed the lips gently and left the room then.
The next morning when Ryoma woke up, he found himself alone with a note saying "I'm sorry for breaking my promise." And he knew Fuji was gone. He could see Fuji exit the building Tezuka stayed in with Tezuka, when the couple was to join the other regulars.
Ryoma knew he was not meant to see this. That's why he had skipped breakfast and waited outside. Tezuka's arm had been loosely around Fuji's waist and Fuji had wore his usual smile.
He had lost in a game he knew he couldn't win, seeing Fuji back where he belonged and happy. Tezuka must've changed during their night together. He had probably asked Fuji back, telling him to wait for him, saying those words Fuji had longed to hear from his captain.
"It was fun to see Buchou again!" Eiji smiled as they got off the bus outside their school.
"Ah." Oishi agreed. "Not long and he will join us again." the temporary captain added, shooting a worried look Fuji's way.
"Fujiko." Eiji mumbled and the regulars fell silent.
"F-Fuji, how are you holding up?" Oishi asked carefully, not wanting to get his butt kicked for bringing the subject up. Fuji just smiled.
"You can all stop asking me that already. I'm fine." Fuji replied, slowly opening two blue eyes that took note of how Ryoma's body turned away from him and started walking down the street.
"That's good to hear then." Oishi gave a weak smile and Fuji turned his attention back to the vice-captain, or the captain at the moment.
"Ah…"
He tuned out everything happening around him. How Inui scribbled down further data probably about Tezuka and him, making Kaidoh blush. How the golden pair were starting to realize what had actually gone on in Germany. How Taka-san tried to silence the eager Eiji. How Momo stared at the departing figure of Ryoma. And…how Ryoma left his picture.
'Gomen, Ryoma. I hurt you. I used you. I broke my promise to you. But, if it means anything, I also loved you.'
Nobody would ever know about their relationship except for Ryoma, Tezuka and himself. Nobody would know how Fuji had been with another guy when Tezuka was gone. How Fuji had fallen for that guy but left him to be with the one he just couldn't live without.
The problem was that…Fuji could have lived a wonderful life with Ryoma, but he couldn't have lived one without Tezuka.
And Tezuka had been right there in his relationship with Ryoma. Fuji didn't know if he ever could've made Tezuka leave them alone, because Fuji never wanted him to. Tezuka had already left once and Fuji was terrified of losing him again.
It wasn't exactly a difficult task for a tensai such as himself to make it out of the loud bunch without them even noticing it and his footsteps took him closer to home, where he would wait for his boyfriend to return back to Japan and to him. The way he should have from day one.
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A/N notes: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Now I'm pretty sure I'll let it be like this. Pretty sure…very sure…freaky smile Gonna write my fluff/humor again instead ;D
