Ch.4-I Stand Still

No own Jimmy!! LOL! But I do own the poem in this ch.!! LOL tell me what u think people! Katie... p.s. my apologies to Bnice's Beanie..sorry about Cindy not really being in character.. Some bad stuff had happened to me that night.. So ya... It was more of my pain going into my writing again.. Hopefully this ch. Doesn't disappoint you.. I should've had her do karate or somethin.. Very .. Truly sorry!

I awake to yet another day..it's Thursday today.. Yes..only one day left of the stupid shrink and her daughters... I shake off the sleepiness that's running through my body. I hurry downstairs. At least there's no smell of waffles today. My mom is smiling brightly up at me..sure enough there sits Amy waiting patiently.. I just shrug her off..

" This young lady has been waiting for you Jimmy!" she exclaims.. " she's really quite cute..what's her name?" I just smile..

" Amy...she's the shrinks daughter.." heh, cute...ya right..

" Well she says that she wants to go to school with you..and meet more girls!" she smiles.

" There are more girls today?" I ask un-nerved...I thought this was over.

" Yes! Even more than the first two days!" CRAP! This is getting so old. Why does the shrink keep forcing me into meeting all these girls? Can't she understand I'm not going to change my mind about Cindy!

" Oh, fun," I say as sarcastically as I can get without being to obvious. Mother throws a glare in my direction..

" Off with you know Jim, otherwise your gonna be late!" she coos as she runs her hand through my hair and kisses it. I kiss her cheek quickly and swing my backpack over my left shoulder as I walk out the door.. Amy trailing close behind.

" Tell me Jimmy, what's the plan for me today?" she asks smiling.. The plan is for you to leave me the heck alone..I don't like YOU! I like Cindy..I am in love with her..and no one can change that!

" Nothing," is all I can muster with all these thoughts running around in my head..

" Oh, alright then..I will just go keep the girls busy while they're waiting in line," she says nonchalantly.

" Yes, yes, you do that Amy." I say trying not to show the excitement..finally peace!!!

Just like yesterday and the day before..one girl after the next..one girl after the next..repeating in circles..like my love of Cindy.. It never ends..I talk and share with each girl..soon I'm going to have a personal relationship with every single girl in the world... Just then a girl about 12 comes up to me. She has brown hair in ponytails and has the most adorable brown eyes I've ever seen..

" Jimmy Nuetron." her voice says in a whisper.

" Yes," I say as I kneel down to her level.

" Do you like Cindy?" she asks with a large smile on her face.

" Uh, who are you?" I ask trying to steer away from the subject.

" I'm April," she smiles back at me.

" Hello April, do I know you?" she smiles again.

" No but I know you!"

" What are you..."

She holds up one finger to my lips. " I'm Amy's younger sister, she let me get in line," she smiles again. This girl is going to be amazing when she gets older.

" Amy says that you like Cindy, but you just don't wanna say that you do, so she was to chicken to ask you herself..she said she saw you looking at her funny the other day and figured it out.. But your supposed to be able to admit it...or something like that... now do you like her?" she asks breathlessly... Crap..she looks so adorable..it's a trick..they're trying to trick me!

" Umm.." should I tell her that I do? Can I trust her?

" Just tell me..I already know that you do!" she giggles as I blush. "See!" she giggles again. I pull her ear close to my lips.

" Yes, I do, I more than like her actually, but you can't tell anyone okay?" I pull away as she smiles.

" I pinky swear!" she leans closer to me.. Soon her lips are by my ear.

" So what do you love her?" she asks giggling a tish. I wrap my arms around her stomach and tickle her sides. She laughs very hard as I look into her brown eyes..I can trust her...

" Yes. Yes I do. Very much." I say with a large smile on my face she quickly kisses my cheek.

" Thought so," she laughs as she skips off..I feel...happy...than I realize...I HAVE TO TELL CINDY! The next girl walks up to me as I stand up..

" What was that about?" she watches as I kiss her cheek and walk inside..that's enough talking to girls today! Amy runs up to me..

" You can't just leave all those girls!"

" I just did!"

" But.. Why?? What did my sister say?"

" She made me realize that the truth needs telling that's all!" I laugh as she nervously glances toward the door.. I look past her and see why..the girls are in a large mob..walking directly towards me. Shoot...

The first girl pins me up against my locker.

" What makes you think that you have the right to walk away from the girl whose going to offer you a college education?" she exclaims..

" Sorry miss, got a little bit distracted." I say smiling.. " College?" I ask realizing what she had just said.

" Ya, fame, fortune...girls...that whole road.. Mrs.Olson said I should give you the offer to consider.. Leave to go to Oxford University.. My family would be glad to sponsor a true genius as yourself..of course we will have to work on that English a bit..but what genius doesn't need a little bit of help in one area or another!!" she says breathlessly.

" Whoa there.. Slow down! So your offering me..a full-time sponsorship to THE OXFORD UNIVERSITY!! IN ENGLAND?" I ask sort of startled by how loud I actually sound.

" Yes, James Nuetron, I am..." she says smiling..

" Names Candy Lengty, daughter of world billionaire Charles Lengty."

" Well Candy, this won't be an easy decision to make off the bat...you know considering.." not mentioning Cindy.... " you know family matters and such.." I say pausing.

" You have till Saturday to decide!" she says . She pushes me up against the locker again. She plants her lips firmly on mine.. In a whisper voice.. "there's benefits like that as well.." she pulls away me planted to the locker.. Sheesh these people have no respect at all. She flips back her long blonde hair...

" Bye Jimmy, see you later!" her voice cries as she exists.

Amy looks at me with one raised eyebrow..hah finally someone other than her had the guts to do what they really wanted. I just smile.

" Nice girl!" I exclaim she angrily eyes me..

" Not as nice as Cindy though is she???" her voice carries through the hall. All the kids look at me..I try very hard not to blush..but I feel my face heating up anyways. She slaps her hand over her mouth.

" Oops! April will kill me!" I look at her..

" What are you talking about?" I ask. I can't believe that girl...I never should've trusted her..now the whole world probably knows.

" April told me what you said earlier today," she comes closer to me.. " that your in love with Cindy," she says whispering.

" ME like Cindy? NEVER!" I yell in her face. She jumps back a little bit.

" But she said!"

" SHE LIED!" I lie the best I can.. "IF I LIKED CINDY WOULD I DO THIS?" And before I knew it just to keep my secret under wraps I grabbed her behind the waist and flung my lips onto hers.. I pulled away with a grin on my face.. Shoot...that was stupid Jimmy, way stupid.. Now she thinks you like her. You don't... you like Cindy! What is your problem? I'm in love with Cindy! Why can't I just tell the truth for once?

" So Jimmy, it's me you like than?" she laughs. " for cute!" she turns a bright red. Crap that was stupid Neutron..stupidest thing you've done.. Well I guess I'll just have to tell the truth..

" Well... ya I guess.." wait just a minute! That wasn't the truth either! She moves closer to me.. Shoot what am I gonna do? I have to tell her... tell her... the truth... but I am getting so used to lying... she plants her lips gently on mine. I grab her face.. No what am I doing? Then I figure it out.. I am trying to make me think that I like her.. And I can stop liking Cindy! I open my eyes and pull away with a devilish smile on my face.. Cindy rounds the corner..hand in hand with Nick.... the genius leaves.. I become like a fireball as jealousy rages inside of me.. I pull her face towards mine once again... her lips collide with mine.. My tongue enters her mouth she groans in surprise... her hands find my back.. Caressing me...slowly...gently... yes ... this is going to work! I pull her waist.. Her knee finds its way through my legs behind me on the locker.. The whole school is watching our serious make out session...even Cindy... a teacher walks out.. " ahem.. No serious make out sessions during school please.. Some of us just ate lunch.." I just blush as she pulls away ... she smiles at me.. Something tells me she's done this before... than it hits me... she's just after me just because I'm famous.. She doesn't know me.. I never was trying to make me like her.. I was trying just to stop thinking about Cindy.. Real good plan.... worked real well.. She smiles back at me again and takes my hand.. Her cold blue eyes shoot icy chills down my back.. Aaahhh.. What the heck have I gotten myself into?

" That was so sexy Nuetron.." she playfully bites my ear.. Crap.. What the heck did I get myself into? " Now you aren't going to give up Retroville and join me with my mother and your destiny in Oxford?" " Remember you only have till Saturday!" She waves goodbye and leaves me standing in the hall.. Than it clicks in.. She is just buttering me up so I will chose her over Cindy! I hit my head... I have gotten myself into this pit.. And it looks like there is really no possible way out.. Just than I see Cindy.. She is holding a slip of paper in her hand.... She walks up to me..

" Hey spewtron.. Just thought I'd let you know that I just got invited to the biggest party of the year! And you didn't...that's right...its not for losers!" she says laughing.

" Well maybe I don't need to be cool in this little town! If you didn't see I do have people who think I am actually worth something whether you do or not CINDY VORTEX! And by the way I have been offered a full time scholarship to oxford University and that's something you ... the 'cool people' will never get!!!" I angrily snap. Crap.. Did I just say that? She stands stunned at me..

" Got a problem Vortex?" I angrily snap. She tilts her head to the side. Her bangs fall in her face as I scan her clothes.. A pink top..the pink top I threw up on.. The white skirt... she is so much like an angel..

" You got offered a scholarship Jimmy?" her voice quietly asks.. Did she just call me Jimmy? She did!!

" Ya, I guess I did.. I have to make the decision by Saturday.."

" So you'd be leaving.. For good?" she asks almost whispering..she is looking at the floor..I've never her seen like this..

" Ya... I guess...you want me gone that bad Cindy?" I say with a little anger in my voice..

" Well, it would be weird without you spewtron.." she says elbowing me.. " Not that I'd miss you or anything..." she says quietly.. Almost inaudibly..

" What?" I ask confused....

" NEVER MIND NEUTRON! FORGET IT!" she says as she angrily stomps away.. Girls are so confusing.

" See you later Spewtron," she angrily snaps as she walks by.. Wait..did Cindy just try to tell me that she would miss me? Nah... I walk past her out the door and onto freedom..I wonder when that crazy party is.. So I can crash it! I laugh as I walk into my house... which class should I do first.. Just than the doorbell rings.

I almost run screaming the opposite direction. It's Mrs. Olson.. With Amy... crap... I open the door.. Sure enough Amy greets me with a kiss..

" Hello Mr. Nuetron.. I've heard that you have a interested in my daughter is this true?" she asks. Amy with a broad smile on her face. She sits down next to me.. The smile on her face has disappeared.... "Well.." I just smile at her... she knows the truth..

" I see.. Well then ... but you still have to make your decision by Saturday or no college!" she says angrily.. "And maybe you won't let your stupid love of Cindy get in the way of choosing the correct path..." Amy shoots me a strange look. "You will take a walk with my daughter and explain why you did this.." This is going to be a long day..

" Whatever.." I grab her by the arm and lead her out the door..this is going to be a very long day..

I had gone through another torturous day. I open my curtains on my window. Sure enough the happy couple was walking outside..I feel numb..kinda like something off of a movie or something..him.. possibly..moving...and him loving another girl..what is he trying to do to me? I grab my Jimmy doll that I've had forever..and I start doing taekwondo on it..saying random things..listening to loud blasting music..trying to drown the pain...

" So Jimmy you think it's fun hurting me? So you think I can't see you doing it! So you think I can't feel that you are hiding something from me...what is it that you hate about me! Why do you like her! I don't get it!! Why am I not good enough.." I say with the punches getting harder and harder..fighting the tears that are screaming to come out... " Stupid.. Jerk.. Face...Nuetron.." then my Cd Changes to Linkin Park.. I hit it harder.. Harder... finally I am out of breath.. Breathing heavily I slam myself onto my bed.. Reciting the latest poem I had written..trying to calm my nerves..

"The sky is falling

the ground is shaking

the earth is moving

and yet I stand still

the stars are shining

they seem to be hiding

my secrets as they are falling

and yet I stand still

What is this that makes me
wait here?
In this place of chaos and pain
Why am I staring up at the thing
that is going to destroy me
I see the light as it nears
here
towards my place of shame
I just keep staring up at it
this thing that is destroying me
slowly and painfully
And yet I stand still
I should be
running away from here
and yet I stand still
why am
I waiting for the hope that won't come
It burns so bad as it reaches all of me
and yet I stand still
what is wrong with me?
I see the faces yelling
and yet I stand still..

The stars have stopped burning
the heavenly smile has stopped
smiling
it's all a great mass of fire
falling
falling
so fast I can't stop this
and yet I stand still
why am I not fighting?
why have I stopped running?
why am I staring at the mass of fire
falling
falling
so fast I can't stop this
what am I waiting for?
The answer lies deep in me
and yet I stand still..
than I see
what I'm waiting for
is flying away from me..

What is this that makes me
wait here?
In this place of chaos and pain
Why am I staring up at the thing
that is going to destroy me
I see the light as it nears
here
towards my place of shame
I just keep staring up at it
this thing that is destroying me
slowly and painfully
And yet I stand still
I should be
running away from here
and yet I stand still
why am
I waiting for the hope that won't come
It burns so bad as it reaches all of me
and yet I stand still
what is wrong with me?
I see the faces yelling
and yet I stand still..

Why do I stand
unmovable
what I am waiting for
keeps playing
in my head
as I stand
unmovable
I am waiting for
the thing that can't come
I am waiting for
you..
You won't come save me
I know this
and yet I stand still...
And yet I stand still!!!"

I angrily slam the Cd player off and I head downstairs to forget about Jimmy.