Sandy was standing in the hallway when his wife walked up.
"Why aren't you with Ryan?"
"He doesn't want me to tell you," Sandy said immediately.
"Is something wrong? Is he all right?"
"Ryan doesn't want me to tell you. But I have to. You deserve to know. I need you to know. I need you to help me figure this out."
"Sandy…" Kirsten was panicked.
"Come on, let's go for a walk."
"But Ryan…"
"He's got company. Please, Kirsten," Sandy said. She linked arms with him and they walked.
---- - - -- - - - - - --
The agents were waiting outside Ryan's room when Sandy and Kirsten returned.
"The doctors are with him," Agent Duncan said.
"Is he okay?" Kirsten asked immediately.
"He seems to be a strong kid. Smart, too. He doesn't know anything but he interrogated the hell out of us," Harris said.
"What do you want from him?" Kirsten asked.
"Nothing, Mrs. Cohen. We want to protect him. We'll be in touch." The agents left.
Kirsten was upset with Sandy for letting Ryan talk to the agents alone. She opened the door and stepped inside.
The doctors had Ryan sitting up for the first time in several days. He was pale and in obvious pain but his eyes were clear. His feet were swinging over the edge of the bed.
"Ryan…"
"Mrs. Cohen, this is the next step. We want him to start sitting up first and then tomorrow we'll see if he's up to standing…" One of the doctors explained.
"I'm okay," Ryan said quietly.
"He doesn't look okay," Sandy said to the doctors.
"Let's get you back in bed," The doctor said. They helped him get his legs back onto the bed. A nurse injected pain medication into his IV.
It hit Ryan immediately and he relaxed. The doctors left and Sandy and Kirsten came to his side.
"Long day," He sighed.
"How're you doing?" Sandy asked.
Ryan smiled sadly. "They said tomorrow I could stand up. I feel like celebrating."
"Did those agents…"
"You told her?" Ryan's eyes locked on Sandy.
"Yes," Sandy nodded.
"Please don't tell anyone else…it's not safe…let's just sleep on it," Ryan said, his eyelids drooping with exhaustion.
"Get some rest," Kirsten said, glancing worriedly at Sandy.
---- -- - - --------- -- - -- - ----- ----------- - --
"Ryan."
He recognized her voice and opened his eyes. "Dawn."
"Baby, don't be like that…" She was standing beside him. She had a large dufflebag over her shoulder.
"You said when I called you 'mom' that it made you look old," Ryan muttered. Luke had sat up from his slumber across the room.
"Ryan…" Luke started.
"Its okay, Luke. Can you give us a minute? And let Sandy know that Dawn's here?" Ryan said. Luke left immediately.
"You scared I'll hurt you?" Dawn asked with a smirk.
"It's too late for that," He muttered. "What are you doing here?"
Dawn touched his face and he pulled away. He sat up despite the pain.
"Your father took care of Tony…"
"Which father? Dave or Stevie?" Ryan asked evenly.
Dawn pursed her lips. "The feds been here already?"
He nodded.
"You know, I was a shitty mother. I don't deny it. I was never cut out to be a mother. Your new mother…she's got something I was born without…"
"A heart?" Ryan muttered.
"I loved you, Ryan. I love you. You know that…"
"Why didn't you tell me about Stevie?"
"How could I tell you? You never…you had a rough life, kid, but it was nothing like your life would have been with Stevie…" She whispered urgently. Her blue eyes were full of emotion. He'd never seen her like this before. She was sober and regretful. "It was for your own protection…"
Ryan had his hands clenched around his blankets. Dawn didn't recognize her son's pain.
"I do love you, Ry. That's what I came here to talk to you about…"
"What are you talking about? Why are you here?" Ryan's pain was worsening as he started to sense his mother's mood.
"I'm leaving, baby. I'm leaving Cali. For good…" Dawn started quietly. Ryan searched her face and realized that she was serious. "Stevie knows the feds are onto him. And after Tony…he found me, tracked me down…and he was pissed. God, he was pissed…" She sighed, clearly upset. "But I love you. And I thought…you're happy here. You're better off here…you don't belong with Stevie, or with me…you belong here…"
"Mom, what…"
"So I lied. I told Stevie that it was all a scam, that you weren't his kid, that Dave and I did it all for the money and to get from under his thumb. I told him you were Dave's…"
Ryan was silent, stunned. His mind was trying to process his mother's words.
"He didn't believe me, of course. He knows that Dave had a vasectomy but I told him that I'd had a paternity test done. He asked me for a new one…"
"But…" Ryan started, his voice weak through his pain.
"So I gave him one," Dawn continued. "I went to the feds, fucking cops, and got a sample of Trey's blood. It was legit, and Stevie…he believes me…"
"I don't…" Ryan started.
"So you're safe." She cupped his chin.
"Mom…"
She kissed his forehead tenderly. He didn't remember the last time his mother had touched him so gently. "You will always make me proud…"
"He's going to kill you," Ryan whispered.
"I'll be fine," Dawn said.
"Mom…"
"Your father's dead. Dave, I mean. But you and Trey…you guys are safe. I'm leaving…I just…I wanted to say goodbye…"
"Mom, wait…" He managed.
"I have to go. Take care of yourself." She picked up her bag and started to the door.
Ryan was in pain. He had lost his breath and couldn't catch it. He didn't want his mother to go. Stevie had killed the man he considered his father. He'd kill his mother, too. He couldn't let her leave but he had been seized with panic and his body was revolting, it was countering his panic with pain. His vision went dark.
When regained his sight, Sandy was in the center of his vision.
"What's wrong? Luke, get the doctor…Ryan…"
Ryan couldn't breathe, he couldn't talk.
A nurse appeared and forced the mask over his face. He still couldn't breathe. He felt the familiar dizziness from the morphine but he couldn't relax. He tried to sit up again.
"Ryan, don't fight it, just relax, son, please…"
Ryan didn't even know whose son he was anymore and he couldn't relax. Not after what his mother had just told him. He felt Sandy's hands holding him still.
"Ryan. Stop. You're okay…look at me…" Sandy said urgently and Ryan forced himself to focus on Sandy.
"Breathe slowly. Deep, slow breaths for me, okay?"
But Ryan's strength gave out first. He lost his vision and his fists relaxed. Everything went dark.
---- -- - - --------- -- - -- - ----- ----------- - --
Hailey stepped into the room. "Hey. How is he?" Sandy and Luke were standing beside Ryan's bed. Ryan was asleep but he was wearing the oxygen mask.
"He's okay now," Luke said quietly.
"Now? What happened?" Hailey asked.
"I'm going to go. Tell Chino I'll see him tomorrow…" Luke left, clearly shaken by Ryan's episode.
"Sandy?"
"His mother came by. He sent Luke to get me and when we got back, he was upset, he couldn't breathe…I only left for a minute and she got in here…"
"Did she hurt him?"
"I don't know. The doctors say it was some sort of panic attack, he was hyperventilating and moving so much…he was in pain…" Sandy sighed.
"Sandy, I'm sorry…about all of this…"
"It's not your fault, Hailey," Sandy said. He was holding Ryan's hand. "This kid…he'd do anything he could to help the people he cares about…but he never seems to care about himself…"
"I owe him my life…" Hailey whispered.
"He's got a lot of people that love him," Sandy said.
"I can sit with him, Sandy. You look like you need some air."
Sandy shook his head. "I need to see him when he wakes up. I shouldn't have left him alone with Luke, I should have been here to keep his mother away…"
Hailey pushed a chair up behind Sandy. "Sit down. He'll know you're worried about him if you're standing over him. He hates that."
Sandy sat down as Hailey pulled up a chair beside him.
"Kirsten's sleeping. Dad's with her. Seth's at the beach with Summer and Anna," Hailey said.
"How are you?" Sandy asked, visibly calmer.
"Steady. It's a good day. I just wish I could give the kid here a good day."
"He's going to be okay," Sandy said.
Ryan stirred slightly, sluggishly pulling his hand from Sandy's loose hold and putting it on the oxygen mask. He didn't pull off the mask. His eyes opened and he glared at his hand, annoyed.
"Hey, kid," Sandy smiled.
"Can I take this off? I'm better, now…" Ryan said.
"If you need it, just say so…" Sandy allowed, gently pulling it off and placing it at the top of the bed.
"Hailey…you look good today," Ryan said. He raised his hand in greeting and she slapped it with a smile.
"Thanks. How are you? I heard they might let you stand up tomorrow," Hailey smiled.
"Yeah. It's exciting," Ryan muttered. "Seth called and said he wants to be here when I take my first steps…"
"Ah, you'll be back to normal in no time," Sandy said.
Ryan's blue eyes clouded suddenly as he recalled his mother's visit.
"Are you in pain?" Hailey sensed the change immediately.
"No, I'm fine, I'm practically stoned here…" He replied. "Sandy…did you see my mom?"
"I'm sorry, Ryan, she was gone, she wasn't supposed to be allowed in here…" Sandy started apologetically.
"She took care of it…all that stuff we were worried about…" Ryan said anxiously.
"What do you mean, Ryan?" Sandy asked, confused.
"I'll give you guys a minute," Hailey said. "I'll get coffee."
"Ryan…" Sandy started.
"Stevie's going to kill her. She lied to him, she said I was Dave's, she used Trey's blood and…" Ryan began.
"Slow down, kid. Don't get upset…" Sandy said immediately. He replaced the mask over Ryan's mouth and nose.
Ryan blinked and his eyes seemed to clear. "She saved me…she convinced Stevie that me being his kid was a scam…" Ryan said slower. "And Stevie killed Dave…"
"Your father? Oh, Ryan…" Sandy realized why the kid was so upset.
"I just wanted her to wait…so I could tell her that I love her…that I was sorry…"
"Ryan…"
"He'll kill her and…and I'll never get to tell her…" Ryan said, his breathing speeding up as he got upset.
Sandy took his hand to try and distract him. "Ryan, relax, just breathe…"
Ryan wrinkled his face up in pain. "I hate this! I'm not an invalid!"
"Stop it," Sandy said gently. "I know this is hard, but you are hurt and if you keep pushing yourself like this it's going to take longer for you to get better…"
"I just…I hate feeling helpless…" Ryan whispered.
"You're not helpless…you just have to be patient and let yourself heal…your mother, Ryan, she knows you love her, she'll be okay…" Sandy said.
"But Stevie…"
"Your mother's a survivor," Sandy said quietly. He had to calm Ryan down. "She did all that for you…so you'd be safe. You have to rest…" He rustled Ryan's hair.
Ryan breathed deeply from the oxygen. He closed his eyes. He didn't relax.
"Ryan?"
"I'm still here…I guess I'm a little thrown…"
"You have a right to be. This is a lot for you to deal with even if you were healthy…"
Hailey returned. "Well, it's pretty heavy in here…" She remarked, handing Sandy a cup of coffee. "Cheer up, guys…"
"Sorry," Ryan muttered.
"Don't make me call Seth," Hailey warned. "If I tell him you're brooding…" She started.
"I'm not brooding, I'm pouting," Ryan whispered. "I want to go home."
"He is pouting!" Hailey smiled. "So what's the deal? When does he get sprung from here?"
"They haven't said. He'll get off the IV tomorrow…"
"I can eat again? Yippee," Ryan snorted sarcastically.
Hailey was amused by Ryan's grumpiness.
"I never knew you could whine," Sandy teased.
"Yeah, well, I never really felt the need before…" Ryan muttered.
"Come on, kid, cheer up," Hailey said.
Ryan sighed. He trained his gaze on Sandy. His hands seemed to clench involuntarily as a wave of pain washed through him.
"All right, kid…let me go harass a nurse for you," Hailey said, sensing his distress.
Ryan shuddered.
"Just relax, Ryan…" Sandy urged.
"Sometimes…it really hurts, Sandy…" Ryan whispered, his eyes showing Sandy how much pain he was actually in.
"It'll get better…"
"There's never been pain I couldn't handle…" Ryan murmured. Sandy took his hand to try and stop him from clenching his fists. He could feel Ryan's tension.
"Just try and relax…we'll take care of you…"
Ryan glanced over and Sandy was startled to see fear in his eyes. "Do you think I'm strong enough? Because…because I don't know how much more…"
"Hey…you're going to be fine…" Sandy said, unable to take the vulnerability in his foster son's eyes.
Ryan nodded and looked away. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Sandy's worried eyes anymore. He vaguely registered the doctor's voice mingled with Hailey and Sandy's voice.
"Should he be in this much pain?" Sandy asked.
But Ryan hurt too much to listen to the answer.
