Barely Living
Repeating circles of never ending information. The same thing over and over again each day. Classes, being interviewed.. Going on dates..with numerous girls.. Each of whom, I deny. No one hear to help me through these complicated feelings. I wish I had someone's hand, to lead me.. No reason to let go... I tap my pencil on the paper. I am trying to make a design for my Science and Technologies Class. We have to make it, and present it in front of the class. And explain why we made it.. How we made it.. And what affected the final product. I take notes.. College life is pretty boring.. Since, I am not old enough to go to any of the party's anyways. I smile at the paper. How can a guy concentrate when all I can think about is that stupid Cindy Nuetron? And her smile, her hair. I am really starting to miss Retroville. I want to run home..to where I am supposed to be. I draw a heart on my paper. All that is coming is gushy feelings.. I need to have this design by tomorrow morning.. And right now..it's exactly... 3:00 a.m. My roommates are sleeping and I am working with a flashlight under my covers..my headphones are blasting rock music to keep me from falling asleep. I try and try to make a sketch, but nothing comes. I have no inspiration.. Finally, I come up with some really lame idea and make the adjustments that it needs. It will have to do. I lay back down on my bed. Staring up at the black ceiling. There seems to be no hope in living without love.. Life ..just isn't life here without Cindy, without Carl, without Sheen and Libby... without everyone.. I know absolutely no one.. No hope is reflected in my eyes any more.. Everyone else just seems like robots..smart robots I might add. So many girls have told me I am so amazing.. But there's only one girls opinion that matters in the least bit.... I close my eyes, and it's almost like she's engraved on the back of my eyelids. Hoobastank plays loudly in my ears...
Do you know that every time your near..
Everybody else seems far away?
So can you come and make them disappear..
Make them disappear and we can stay????
I miss her.. I have to have her back.. Because without her...I am..barely living..!!! I slam the pencil on the paper.. But oh well...she wished me here..and here is where I'll stay.
I awake the next morning, to go to my life.. Without her.. The girls shoot me looks. I get an A on my late-nigh assignment. The teacher praises my intelligence. The same routine. The directors give me more directions.. I have my own personal spot in the library.. Nothing to important.. Without love.. I am barely living...
I need to live again.. But how do you do that when what gives you life... is halfway across the country?
One interview after another..months pass...soon it's been six months. I realize that my life is nothing.. I am barely living...
I have become a robot.. Just like them.. I need to live again!!!
I watch another episode of " welcome smart genius Jimmy"...
So many articles have come out about him. His favorite things. His least favorites. So many girls are fantasizing about him now. I now know that I don't stand a chance without him... I slam my book closed. Cindy! He's never coming back! Get over him! I feel like I need to cry.. But no tears come.. I have cried so much lately... I can't cry any more. I scream at the empty house next door... I scream at the T.V. I have become unfeeling.. I am barely living. Everyone is concerned about me.. How I never want to go to the movies.. To the park.. Anywhere.. I just stay in my room .. Beating my stupid doll up.. Throwing my pillows at the empty room.. Thinking about how that empty chair... I storm angrily out of my house... I find myself wandering around the park.. A light rain is joining me.. I just laugh as I realize my sore luck. Well , like I didn't know that.. I walk by Jimmy's bench several times.. I walk to the hospital.. I stand in the spot where we kissed.. I wander so aimlessly.. I wander and wonder.. Does he miss me as much as I miss him? Does he even know that he left something wonderful? I kick the nearest bench as I sit on it. The rain has stopped. The slightest sunshine pours out behind the clouds. I hear footsteps, I turn around.. Alas, no one is there. Great, now I am going crazy. I hear his voice whispering.. I feel his touch on my lips.. I stare at the ground.. STUPID JIMMY! You've done something to me.. That no- one else could have possibly done... My shoes are covered with mud, and grass. I wipe them off.. I wish he would come back..because without him.. I am barely living.... it's been six months now.. Six horrible, nightmare, pain filled months. I hear air moving in the sweetest breeze. It tastes like he did.. That sweet .. Warm.. Feeling.. I touch my hand. If only he was here... I begin to walk alone.. I pass his house again.. I hear footsteps behind me..
" CINDY! WAIT UP!" it's a boy's voice.. Probably just Nick.. I walk faster..
" CINDY!!!!" I turn around.. And someone runs into me. I look up.. Freezing blue eyes...chocolate brown hair....JIMMY!!!
Ahahahah!!cliff hanger.. And really short...oh well...-kTe-
