You have heard of the Lord of the Rings. The tale of how Frodo and his buddies destroyed the One Ring that rules them all. The last part of the tale says that Frodo and some Elves and stuff were sailing away to the west. Well, this is what happened after.

"Are we there yet?" asked Frodo, five minutes out of the dock.

"Um, no." said Cirowythin the Elf. "We left about 5 minutes ago."

"Yeah" said Gandalf. "This is a long journey over sea and land, to reach the far off land of... ummm... Whereverland!" He paused for a moment pleased at himself for making up this name, since he actually had no idea where it was and what is was called since he hasn't read The Simarillion, like who has

"Bleearg!" spewed Bilbo, all over the deck.

"Hey, do that over the side, will ya?" complained Cirowythin the captain of the elf ship and annoyed at the mess on his clean ship. "My elves spent hours cleanin' that ya know." Suddenly, Aragorn, Gimli, Arwen, Gollum (even though he was dead), Merry, Pippin, Sam (poor fat Sam smashed through the deck), Denethor (even though he was dead too), and Theoden (yet another dead one) pole-vaulted aboard. A bunch of other random characters did too (like Third Gondor Horseman on the Right) and they tossed them overboard.

"Hey why are you guys onboard?" asked Gandalf.

"Oh, there are too few characters with names without us, and we were bored. So we pole-vaulted over miles of ocean to here." Said Aragorn,

"That makes sense," said Frodo, "Are we there yet?" Then Gandalf whacked him over the head.

"We all came back to life so we could be in the story." Said Theoden and Denethor.

"Yesssss, precious," agreed Gollum who was sad that he lost his precious. So everything is now considered Gollum's Precious. And he started to hug the main mast. "Yess... precious...."

"And I'm here because I HAD to be in the story with, you, Mr. Frodo!" Sam cried, with tears dripping down his chubby face. "Are we there yet?" Frodo whined. Gandalf smote him over the head.

"I hath cometh to this elf ship to go forth to strange lands and go where no man hath ever gone before, to combat strange terrors upon the sea." Said Aragorn.

"Plus," said Arwen, "We were bored. Did I mention I got third billing in the movie when I only appeared five minutes?"

"Are we there yet?" asked Frodo.

"Aye, and ye nae gonna go to sodding odd places w'oout ol' Gimli aye," said Gimli, trying to talk over Gandalf throttling Frodo.

"Cool." Said Cirowythin, "Now I realy need to run the ship you know."

"Okay," said Frodo. "Are we there yet?"

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagghg" screamed Gandalf and started chasing Frodo all around the ship and screaming something about stupid fools of Baggins.

"Aye me laddie, ye want soom Croonchy frog aye?" asked Gimli.

"OK," said Pippin, shoving the whole box down his throat without chewing, "What's in it Gimli?"

"Finest crunchy raw unboned dead frog aye," said Gimli.

Pippin turned green and ran for the railings. "And how aboot these spring surprises aye," said Gimli popping one into his mouth. "AAAAAAAAAYYYYAAAAAYYYY!" he ran around screaming as steel bolts popped through his cheeks. Suddenly a huge ship armed with huge cannons (even though it's like the middle ages or something) appeared from the fog.

"what fog?"