'S is for...' Series
By Sam I Am –Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be more than that)
Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that) also Daniel/Janet, but not in great detail. Violence (not a lot and not that bad!), slight language!
Category: Sam/Jack Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drama. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)
Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!
Time frame: About Season 4!
Summary: S is for... Selfless Sacrifice - While visiting a planet, Jack is accused of stealing a valuable weapon belonging to the planet's people. When he is sentenced to death, the rest of SG-1 have to struggle to get him free.
S is for... Secrets Shown – Jack learns to live with his disability and finally gets the one thing that makes him happy... But not before having an unfortunate encounter with an old 'acquaintance', the O'Neills and Mark Carter!
S is for... Second Sight - What happens when the nightmare ends? The final (and shortest!) part. Every S/J shipper's dream comes true! Sam gets her own back on Kinsey or more precisely his son and we see a few familiar faces. And, finally, they all live Happily Ever After!
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!
Author's Notes: My longest story yet and it's quite a biggy! It's taken me a year or two to write it and I've just kept adding bits of detail here and there for ages so it's taken a LONG time. I hope it was well worth it. If you have any comments on the story or just feel like being nice to me, send me some FEEDBACK. I'd really appreciate it.
Dedications: As always to my Best pal/Editor. If there was an award for patience you would be an Olympic competitor! Honestly, how you manage to put up with me I can't even begin to understand. Love you Baby! Also to my other Best Pal, Yasmino! You are fabulous, Honey. Always keeping me company during the lonely summer holidays (and if the truth was to be known, preventing me from writing my fics, but your company was needed all the same!) To anyone who's sent me feedback so far. It was nice to get some support from you guys. And finally, to any sci-fi geek that's out there! Live long and prosper!
Abracadabra... S is for... Selfless Sacrifice (Part Two)!
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"Samantha? Samantha!"
Salazar was thumping on the door of the house as Sam returned. She walked up to him slowly.
Salazar turned to her obviously trying to harbour his obvious delight, "Shania!" He smiled, "Have you seen Major Carter?"
"No. Why?"
"I have to tell her that now all her friends are to be hung this evening!"
Even though Sam knew the answer she'd have to play dumb, "Why?"
"They were caught trying to steal back their weapons from the laboratories."
"They were obviously planning to free their leader while he was in his cell."
"Well, they will not have a chance now;" Salazar said roughly, "Sunset is in four hours!"
Sam just nodded, "Are you going back to the prison?"
"I must find Samantha. She will want to be there for her friends."
Sam didn't want to do this, but it looked like she would have to. If he kept looking for her he'd probably work it out. She stepped up to Salazar grabbed his face and planted a firm kiss on his lips. She pulled away as he gawped and she spoke seductively, "Now will you come back with me to the prison?"
"Yes," he grinned coyly and Sam couldn't help but feel she wanted to rewind that moment and not do it again.
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In the Guard's room, Salazar had given out weapons. She now had something very similar to a pistol, but with modifications for both stun and kill. She shoved it into her belt as Salazar called to her from the door, "Shania, you are needed to help bring the prisoners now."
As Sam followed him out of the room she saw the masses of people stood in the crowded courtyard waiting with anticipation for the execution to begin. It sickened her. The Shir had said they were advanced compared to Earth, but Sam had to disagree. It was barbaric.
Salazar had told her that the hanging had been designed so the victim was strangled and not that their neck would break. Sam hoped so. At least then she had a chance.
They walked into the high security block. Teal'c and Daniel were closest the doors and saw her as she walked past. She felt tears rising to her eyes as she reached Jack's cell.
He was still sat there, slumped against the wall. If it was possible he looked worse and as he coughed throatily Sam decided he was worse. She opened the cell door as it creaked.
"Who's there?" He croaked frightened as she came forward.
"My name is Shania," she said softly as he recognised her voice, "I'm here to take you." She knelt down and unlocked his manacles. She slid his swollen wrists from the metal cuffs as gently as she could.
He whispered croakily, "I'm being hanged?"
"Yes," she said quietly as she looped and arm around his waist and he put an arm around her shoulders. She nodded at the other guards, "I've got this one. Get the other two."
As they walked away Jack said, "Other two?"
"Daniel and Teal'c," Jack groaned as she spoke, "I'll try to get you out. I'll try my hardest!"
"I don't doubt that," she felt herself crying, bitter tears squeezed from her eyes. There was no way she could save them and he knew it.
Jack whispered, "Did you mean it?"
"What?"
"What you said to the guards earlier."
"Every word," she murmured.
Jack nodded, "Slow down." He croaked as she did, "Carter, I need to tell you someth..."
"Shania, can you manage?"
Sam stared up at the entrance to see Salazar. She gave a small exasperated sigh before murmuring, "Yes. Thank you, Salazar."
"Shania, are you well? Why are you crying?"
"I'm sorry, Salazar. I'm fine. I got dirt in my eyes."
He looked at her cautiously as he stepped outside behind the four men frogmarching a struggling Daniel and an equally stubborn Teal'c.
As she stepped out into the sunlight the crowd began to yell at them and shout abuse. Jack took a deep but shaky breath, "Clean air."
Sam helped Jack to hobble blindly up the steps of the scaffold. She felt her tears falling more steadily from her eyes as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Colonel."
He turned to her, "Don't be."
"I need to put the bag over your heads," said one of the guards, "Do you have any last words?"
Teal'c spoke first, "Our deaths will be greatly avenged."
Daniel went into a speech, "I thank you for killing me. At least this way I will be with Sha're again. I think you should know that if we don't return home then my people will come through the Stargate and take revenge. Also it's not your fault, Sam!" He yelled as Sam saw her tears fall onto the wooden planks of scaffolding.
It was Jack's turn to speak. He murmured quietly, "When they... blinded... me... they took the... one thing... I treasure... most from me." She still supported him as he whispered in her ear, "I just..." he coughed, "I just wanted you to know... I love you, Carter."
She stared into his eyes shocked as his lips brushed hers quickly. And then he was pulled away from her by the guards and dragged over to the noose as he tried to keep his feet. She tried to clutch his hand as he was taken from her side.
"No! Wait!" Sam yelled, but the crowd's yelling drowned her call.
They were dragged to the platform and bags were pulled over their faces. A stick was going to support Jack's crumpled form until the trapdoors fell in.
Sam stood there and screamed, "NO! THEY'RE INNOCENT!" Everyone gasped as she spoke. She realised suddenly her voice had changed back to normal.
Salazar stared at her in shock and murmured, breaking the silence that had fallen over the courtyard, "Samantha?"
Someone from the crowd yelled, "It is the Tau'ri female!" And then everyone began to yell, "Hang her!"
Salazar turned to her a look of disbelief and disappointment in his eyes, "I am sorry, Samantha." Two strong guards grabbed her and dragged her onto the platform, as another noose was attached to the structure beside the broken figure, his battered and tortured body being held up by nothing but a stick and the noose around his neck.
She could hear Teal'c and Daniel yelling, "NO! DON'T!" but the one cry she heard above the rest was the quietest of all. The hoarse cry of a supernatural agony from the man she loved ripping through all the other shouts, "Not her. Please. Not her."
She was dragged to the noose quite roughly as her hands were bound. The last thing she had seen was the guards readjusting Jack beside her so he was leaning on his stick and wouldn't hang until they wanted him to before the bag was pulled over her face, sickening claustrophobia making her gasp for air... frightened. She was scared out of her mind. She felt the heavy, daunting weight of the noose as it fell around her neck.
It hit her then. The mind-numbing fright causing her stomach to heave a dry retch. She was about to die. She was going to die. She didn't want to die...
One guard called out to the crowd, "SILENCE! The thieves will hang on the twelfth strike of the bell! They will pay for their sins!"
Sam suddenly felt completely paralysed with dread. This was it. The last moments of her life. She felt terrified tears building in her eyes. She didn't want to die. A tear rolled down her face as she squeezed her eyes shut in the hollow darkness of the mask, as a single thought ran through her head, 'I don't want to die.'
One... the tower bell rang a low, melancholy note. "Jack?" Sam murmured through he tears.
Two... "Sam," Jack choked in return.
Three... "No matter what happens..."
Four... "I love you, Jack." Sam spoke tears flowing steadily from her eyes.
Five... "You mean that?"
Six... "With all my heart."
Seven... "I should've left the air force..."
Eight... "...the day I met you..."
Nine... "I'm sorry, Sam."
Ten... "Don't be..." Sam gave a small sob, "I just wish..."
Eleven... Jack sighed, "Yeah me too."
'Here it is,' Sam thought, 'It's over.'
Twelve...
The trap doors gave way slowly and Sam felt the noose tightening around her throat painfully before suddenly she felt nothing beneath her feet and knew she was being strangled. Her legs kicked uselessly as she swung slightly. She couldn't breathe. She tried to take in valuable oxygen, but her jaw just moved soundlessly like a fish lout of water. She just couldn't breathe...
BANG!
A shot echoed around the courtyard and through the strangling pain, Sam heard the unmistakable sound of a body slumping to the wooden floor.
She tried to breathe, but it was useless... She just couldn't. She couldn't breathe...
BANG!
Another slump. Sam heard the spectators yelling and screaming. She heard Salazar yelling at the guards, but what he said she couldn't hear.
Her throat was constricting and her lungs were burning and clenching as if trying to inhale themselves. She just couldn't breathe...
BANG!
She heard Jack fall to the wooden platform beside her as his stick hit the cobbled floor beneath the trapdoor. She felt herself slipping into unconsciousness.
'At least they're gonna be OK,' she thought to herself as the darkness inside the mask became even darker...
BANG!
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Jack opened his eyes blearily only to be greeted by eerie darkness. He sat up, his head spinning and his neck aching. Well, no surprise there! He'd just been hanged for Christ's sake!
As the thought entered his head he felt around him, hoping beyond hope he wasn't dead and that his team were somewhere nearby.
"Carter? Daniel? Teal'c?" His voice croaked and he felt himself choking again. His throat burned as his eyes began to water. Two hands clasped his shoulders firmly. Jack turned to try and defend himself only to hear a familiar low voice, "O'Neill. It is I." Jack coughed. His throat felt as though it was covered in metal barbs and shards of glass. He felt himself sway and Teal'c's strong hands keeping him upright, "O'Neill?"
"Yeah?"
In his mind Jack could see the Jaffa cocking his head as he spoke confused, "You are behaving strangely. Do you not recognise me?"
"Oh, I recognise you, Teal'c," Jack sighed and began to cough again. He spoke shakily, "Where are we?"
"The Shir rescued us from the execution and we are concealed here."
"The Shir... Aren't they those... bastards who locked me up in... in there?"
Teal'c spoke in an undertone, "O'Neill, the Shir are present in this room. It is not wise to insult them."
Jack looked around even though he knew he wouldn't be able to see the others present in the room anyway. "Sorry," he murmured an apology sheepishly.
A voice came from behind him and he jumped, "The apology is ours, Colonel O'Neill. We should have rescued you sooner."
The voice was that of a man. He approached and Jack turned as the man knelt beside him, "They took your sight, did they not?"
"Yeah," Jack croaked after a few seconds of lengthy awkwardness.
Teal'c spoke shocked, "Colonel O'Neill is blind?"
The man spoke again, "He is, Teal'c. I am sorry. Ever since Niriti..."
"Whoa!" Jack choked, "Did you just say... Niriti?"
"Yes," the man replied, "She came to our world. She tried to brainwash the Shir, but we were too difficult and she locked us away. She then convinced some of the villagers that they were the Shir and brainwashed everyone else into believing them. They began to believe Niriti was Goddess of our people."
"So, she brainwashed your... your world?"
"Yes."
"That woman is... crazy!" Jack said as the Shir agreed with dark mutters.
The man spoke with satisfaction, "We broke free of our captors and killed most of her Jaffa. She had no choice, but to leave. She left in her mother ship the day you arrived."
"The Shadow," Teal'c spoke matter-of-factly.
"You are correct. As you stepped through the Gate, Niriti's cloaked ship left, but cast a huge shadow over the Stargate."
"So..."
"So when you came through everyone was still brainwashed and when we tried to tell them they did not believe us. You then appeared and the villagers were at ease with your presence, until another group of people from your world came through the Stargate during the dead of night. They were entirely dressed in black and managed to steal the weapon."
"Maybourne," Jack growled gruffly.
"Anyway," the man continued, "By the morning your team had been accused of the crime. You told everyone that you had stolen the weapon. They wanted to blame someone so they blamed it on you entirely, Colonel. My counterpart locked you up in my prison and tortured you." Jack grunted in agreement. The man shook his hand, "Colonel O'Neill, my name is Soreles. The real one."
"Just... call me Jack," Jack coughed.
Another voice spoke, "We will."
Soreles spoke again, "We know that you are worried about your friends."
At that Jack sat up as straight as he could, waiting for confirmation, "Where are they?"
Yet another new voice spoke, low and mellow, "Dr. Jackson is suffering from a sprained ankle and has been sleeping for many hours..."
"And Carter?"
The silence was awful and Jack just wanted to grab someone by the shoulders and shake them into talking, but he knew he didn't have enough strength or energy in his current physical state. He could barely sit up for crying out loud!
"Where is she?" Jack's voice trembled as the other voice spoke again.
"We are not certain."
"WHAT!" Jack croaked as loud as he could, but subsequently fell into a coughing fit.
"I am sorry, Colone... Jack, but as we shot her down from the noose another person lifted her up and took her away..."
"Who?" Jack demanded as menacingly as he could.
"We do not know."
"Then she could be back in that prison cell right now!" Jack choked on his anger and despair.
"We do not believe so, as the search for Major Carter and yourselves still continues."
"Major Carter is a most resilient woman, O'Neill," Teal'c said comfortingly, "She will prevail."
"I know, Teal'c," Jack sighed and whispered roughly, "God, I hope she's OK."
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"Sam? Sam? Honey, can you hear me?"
Sam opened her eyes blearily and found herself temporarily blinded by the bright light. She blinked a few times and found a friendly face leaning over her.
"Hey! I knew you were waking up!" As Sam's eyes focused she saw short reddish hair, dark brown eyes and a pearly white smile...
"Janet...?"
"Yep," she smiled, "The one and only."
"I'm in the Infirmary," Sam stated as she stared at the ceiling that, sadly, she knew better than her own ceiling at home.
"You are and I have to say you are lucky to be here. You had passed out when SG-12 found you. You were almost beyond resuscitation as they had to run you out of there for a couple of minutes before they could stop hurriedly and get you breathing properly again. Other than that you have a bad rope burn around your neck..."
"Don't worry about me," Sam interrupted, "How's the Colonel?"
Janet looked uncomfortable. Sam spoke worried, "Janet?" Janet didn't speak and continued to stare at her fingers clasped in her lap.
Sam looked around her. She was in the Infirmary, but all the other beds were empty...
"Janet, where's the Colonel? Where's the rest of my team?"
"I'm not sure," Janet sighed, "SG-12 came after you on a recovery mission. They were there when you were being hanged. They don't know who they were, but someone shot down your ropes and you fell to the floor. A group of people took Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c before SG-12 could reach them. You were the only one they could recover. They grabbed you and left as the other group left with the rest of SG-1."
"So they could be back in that prison as we speak!"
Janet gave an apologetic nod, "I'm sorry, Sam. SG-12 have already returned to the planet, but there was no sign of SG-1..."
Sam looked around in despair as if waiting for Colonel O'Neill to jump out from behind a surgical curtain and yell 'April Fools!' But it wasn't going to happen. For a start it wasn't April and secondly this was not some joke, it was more like a nightmare.
Sam felt herself on the brink of tears. She couldn't bear to think of Jack back in that awful place let alone Daniel and Teal'c as well.
Sam gave a small sniff as Janet began to comfort, "Sam, I don't know what happened on that planet. Maybe you should talk to Colonel McLeod. You might find out something new..."
"No, Janet. I understand, I just hope they are not back in that prison," Sam said shakily as she wiped her eyes. Images ran around her head, all of them making her want to cry harder.
Janet watched helplessly as Sam fell into a pit of despair. She spoke soothingly as Sam shuddered, "General Hammond is sending out another search party the day after tomorrow and if you feel up to it I'll authorize you to go."
Sam nodded silently as Janet tried to give her a comforting smile. She turned to her office as Sam calmed herself.
"God, I hope you guys are alright," she whispered to the empty Infirmary.
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"Jack?"
Jack jumped as Daniel's voice broke the pitch-black silence. He was lying in a bed somewhere and he had to admit he felt bad. Besides his throat and his broken leg, Jack had a headache and he felt freezing, which was not a good sign. Worst of all he was worried. Seriously worried.
"Daniel, don't creep up on... on me like that!" Jack coughed as he heard the young man limping over and crouching down beside him.
"Sorry," he murmured and Jack could feel the awkward tension in the room. Jack could sense Daniel watching him. "Is it true?" Daniel murmured after a long silence.
Jack turned to face the disembodied voice, "Yeah, Daniel... Teal'c wears a... a kilt at weekends! How did you find out?"
"Jack." Daniel said seriously as Jack sighed in fake annoyance.
"Damn! I'm awful at keeping... secrets! Don't tell... Don't tell T I told you!" Jack choked as Daniel spoke again.
"Jack, is what Teal'c and the Shir saying true?" Daniel's strong voice, obviously having been influenced by Jack's methods of interrogation, faltered as he stammered, "Are you... are you...?"
Jack sat in silence for a few moments and then let his denial collapse. Jack knew he was blind he just wouldn't admit it to himself.
'Time to face the music, O'Neill' he thought to himself as he groaned.
"Yeah."
Daniel gave a sigh of pity and if Jack had had enough energy to throttle the guy he would have. Jack could feel Daniel staring at him again, the young man's blue eyes fixed on him.
"What? Never seen a blind guy before?" Jack spoke gruffly as he heard Daniel mumbling embarrassed.
"Sorry."
"Can eve... everyone just stop saying that? I d... don't wanna hear it! I'd much rathe-r be tortured for the rest of my life than... than..." His voice trailed away as he realised why he really felt so depressed.
"Than what?" Daniel prompted as Jack finally caved.
"Than not have Carter here," he sighed, "Do you... do you know how frustrating this is for me?"
"No," Daniel spoke quietly.
"Daniel..." Jack paused as he gave a throaty cough, "I'm so worried about her. I can't stop thinking... that she could have been captured and tortured," Jack gave the nearest thing to a sob, "She could be dead... and I can't do a damn thing. I'm...," Jack sighed deciding if this was the time for admittance he should admit everything, "I'm useless."
"I just... this must be difficult for you."
"Ya think," Jack croaked as it gave way to a fit of chesty coughs and motioned towards his own body, "if those bastards have done this to her...!"
After a silence, Daniel murmured, "I hope she's OK."
"You know Carter. She'll... she'll be fine. I'm just being paranoid," Jack spoke hoarsely the same words he'd been telling himself all day... and by the sceptical tone of Daniel's voice as he spoke, Jack knew the archaeologist could see right through him.
"Jack, I know you better than that. This isn't about 'Carter'." He put his hand on Jack's shoulder.
Jack flinched again and croaked huskily, "Jesus Daniel! What did I say about that?"
Daniel just patted his shoulder gently, "I'm sorry to make you jump." He got up as he said, "I'm worried about Sam too."
Jack heard Daniel's uneven footsteps as he walked heavily on one leg. He heard the archaeologist mumble as he opened the door, "And I also know you're worried about Sam, not just about Carter." Daniel interrupted before Jack could object, "And don't try to tell me they're the same person. To me yes, but to you... Sam and Major Carter are two very different people."
And with that Jack was left alone again, but he felt more alone than ever.
Everyone was gone, everyone was missing...
And his everyone was Sam.
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That night Jack slept fitfully and towards the early hours of morning, Teal'c sat by his companion's side as the feverish Colonel became sicker. His lung infection had taken a most definite turn for the worse and there was no way they could break through the swarm of guards, which had suddenly appeared around the Gate since their escape, to get O'Neill back home.
Teal'c sat in a pensive silence wondering how he could help the Colonel, when there was a quiet almost hesitant knock on the door. He spoke in a low rumble, "You may enter."
A hobbling Daniel Jackson sidled around the door with a small, though completely forced, smile and limped over to the bed. He sat in the other chair beside Teal'c as the young anthropologist spoke, "How's he doing?"
"His condition continued to deteriorate," Teal'c said gravely as Jack let out a stifled groan.
Daniel sighed and pulled a hand through his brown hair, "Oh dear."
"That was my analogy also, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel sighed again though this time with frustration, "I've been trying to think of a way to get him home, but I can't see a way of getting to the Gate..."
"Soon, that will not be a problem, Dr. Jackson."
Daniel swivelled around to see Soreles stood in the open doorway. He gave a weary smile as the expression of authority and stateliness he carried at all times fell, his hazel eyes filling with concern and pity for Jack, but also in slight hope as he spoke quietly, "The brainwashing is beginning to wear off."
"Why do you say that?" Daniel asked slightly confused.
He approached the bed, "Because from what the Colonel O'Neill and yourselves have told me, you had help from two of the villagers. They would not have helped if the brainwashing was still as affective as it was when first performed."
"I believe only Salazar helped Major Carter to visit O'Neill in the prison. That is only one villager," Teal'c stated as Soreles shook his head.
A throaty cough came from Jack and they all turned to face him. He surprised them all when they found his eyes were wide open. After a second to catch his sparse breath, he murmured, "Simrion." He began to choke raucously as Daniel and Teal'c turned back to Soreles.
"Simrion?"
"My son," Soreles replied, "He brought Colonel O'Neill water and what sparse nourishment he could provide while he was imprisoned even though if caught, Simrion would have been punished severely, maybe even executed."
"Good Kid," Jack croaked as he finished coughing. He began to wheeze and Daniel could hear the fluid in his lungs. He looked bad. Really bad. What was left of his butchered hair stuck up in odd angles from when Jack had been tossing and turning in his fever-induced nightmares. The crooked shape of Jack's leg beneath the blankets could still be seen. When Daniel had first seen his leg he'd sworn badly. It was broken in at least two places, probably more. The knee was badly inflamed and swollen and Daniel knew he'd damaged that as well. The Shir had fixed it up as best as they could, but the leg was still horrific to look at.
After the execution, Daniel had noticed how pale and thin Jack had been. His pallor had now become flushed from fever and cold sweat, although he was still gaunt and starved.
The most disturbing thing was his eyes. They stared into nowhere and where Jack's eyes were usually so full of expression they were now blank. He looked as though he was in a trance. His eyes were badly blood shot and Daniel wondered how they had blinded him.
Daniel spoke as if clarifying the Shir's words, "So, you're saying that your people are remembering who they are?"
The man nodded with a small but determined smile, "Yes. Soon they will remember enough to let us take Colonel O'Neill through the Gate safely."
Daniel let out a long awaited sigh of relief, however small it may have been, "Good. The sooner we get him home and into the Infirmary the better."
"I don't... I don't want to go home, Da...," Jack wheezed painfully, his voice utterly serious, "I... want to... to die."
Daniel stared at his best friend worried, as he spluttered, "You can't possibly mean that!"
"I can... and I do," Jack coughed in reply.
"Why?" Daniel asked flabbergasted by his friend's statement.
"I'd rather die than... than never see her for... for the rest of my miserable existence," Jack choked sadly, "It was hard enough seeing her everyday, but not seeing her..."
Daniel knew whom he meant. He wasn't blind... God!... and he'd heard what Jack had said to Sam before the execution. Deep down, he'd always known. Jack actually loved her. There was nothing else in the World Daniel could think of that could have changed Jack so dramatically after what had happened to Charlie.
Problem was, no-one knew if his feelings were returned. Daniel had always believed they were, but he couldn't be sure. Jack hadn't had a date since he joined the SGC, but the same couldn't be said for Sam. Daniel guessed that's what Jack meant. He meant it had been hard to see her everyday with other guys, knowing he couldn't have her, but it would be even more terribly to never see her again.
After giving a small cough, Jack murmured, "I told Carter to le... le... let me die, but she wouldn't. I told her to keep... quiet and stay out of... of trouble." It was as if Jack was muttering to himself. Daniel stared at the broken man lying on the makeshift bed before him as he said, "She di.... didn't leave without me. She wouldn't."
"None of us would've, Jack," Daniel said quietly, "You're our friend."
Jack seemed to hear, but continued his own statement, "I'm not... I'm not leaving... Not without Sam." His use of her first name shocked Daniel into silence.
"O'Neill, if the villagers let us return home then surely Major Carter will also..."
Jack spoke with a strange amount of strength and fluency as he tried to let his intentions come across, clear as daylight, "I'm not leaving this planet... unless she steps into the Stargate at the same time as me."
Daniel spoke to his friend desperately, "Jack, if you come home Janet can fix you up and there may even be a way to save your vision..."
"Don't give... me that bullshit, Daniel," he coughed, "I'm blind... and that's not... not gonna be fixed. Unless the Asguard have leant... the Doc... a magic... wand."
Teal'c spoke slightly uncomfortably, "I, myself, have been blind before, O'Neill."
Daniel looked at him confused, "Really? When?"
"It was during your time in captivity on the planet where the two continents were at war. One continent believed they were taken to that planet from another world, while the ones that held you in custody believed they had been created there, and were convinced you were spies attempting to disrupt their faith."
"So, what happened? You are not blind now," Soreles asked curiously.
"I am not. The alien man, Nyan, healed my eyesight with a device of his people. He is now and assistant at the SGC, I believe."
"Yes," Daniel nodded, "Does he still have the device?"
"Of that I am uncertain, but the chance is probable..."
Jack grabbed out all of a sudden and let out a groan. His eyes watered as he managed to say, "Pai... kill... ers... PLEASE!" He almost yelled, his voice throaty and unsteady.
One of the Shir who had accompanied Soreles to the room and was waiting outside, ran off down the small corridor to the storage room and returned with a bottle of the liquid that had been keeping Jack's pain at bay since they'd arrived here.
'Poor Jack,' Daniel though as Jack drank down the deep indigo liquid as fast as his throat would allow. The Shir also used the painkilling liquid as a sedative, 'Even if he didn't have a fever and wasn't delirious, he wouldn't be able to think straight because they have to keep him so drugged up so he won't be in pain!'
Soreles signalled for the other Shir to leave the room as he did likewise, nodding to Daniel and Teal'c in farewell as he stepped through the open door way into the earthy corridor.
Jack sunk back into the pillows and let out a soft moan. The long painful moan of a man in absolute torture, but who couldn't take in enough air to bring it above a whisper.
"Dan-iel?" he whimpered croakily as his voice broke part way through the short name.
"Yeah?"
"Shoot me."
"Don't be ridiculous," Daniel said, but the look on Jack's clammy and worn face told him he was being anything but ridiculous.
He coughed, the fluid in his lungs sounding harshly, "I'm serious."
"Jack, don't be an ass!"
Jack's unseeing eyes closed as he said hoarsely, "Daniel. If I co... could lift the gun, I would d-o it myself."
And with that he fell unconscious, the painkiller taking effect. Daniel sat in a slightly horrified silence, his eyes never leaving his best friend.
Daniel spoke to Teal'c, his voice weak and shocked with his thoughts, "Is it wrong that I am even considering euthanasia?"
Teal'c spoke solemnly, "I, myself, have often killed another so as to put them out of their pain whilst in battle, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c's wise eyes looked over their leader sadly as he said quietly, "And if it is O'Neill's wish to die, by suicide or euthanasia, then it cannot be wrong to have considered taking his life out of mercy."
Daniel nodded and then mumbled, "Give him a bit more time, eh? Just a day or two. If it gets worse..." Daniel's voice trailed away as he let out a shuddery breath. His Jaffa friend touched his shoulder gently before leaving the room.
Daniel sat staring at the man, wheezing in his sleep thinking over what had just happened...
Jack was in a lot of pain and was suicidal. He'd seen it before, but this was different. The only way to help Jack was to get his eyes fixed. Which meant using Nyan's device. Which meant going back to Earth. Which meant finding Sam...
Å
Sam stared at her reflection in the steamed up mirror of the courtesy room. Janet had given her permission to use it and she was glad. She observed the unfamiliar woman staring back through the shiny surface. Her hair was completely back to normal, as were her eyes, her voice and her skin colour, but the woman staring back at her was worn, tired and anxious out of her mind. Worried to the brink of going back to that planet alone, with no weapons, her hands tied behind her back and being pursued by a hoard of Jaffa, Replicators and other alien bad guys, just to find them. Just to find out if they were alive.
She looked away from the mirror in disgust with herself, "Never leave a man behind remember, Carter! You just left three!"
She pulled on the clean set of BDUs and then wandered into the bedroom. She collapsed on the double bed. She was exhausted, but she couldn't and didn't want to sleep. Sleep was just another opportunity for her nightmares to haunt her, full of images: Daniel and Teal'c stood with their heads in nooses and with black sacks over their faces and Jack in that cell, his sightless eyes staring at her fearfully. He was so frightened... and here she was taking showers and feeling warm and, except for feeling tired, quite well, when he could be back in that dungeon, sitting in that rank, fetid cell, manacles around his puffy wrists and his shoulders hunched over.
She shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to banish the images away. If only they would leave her in peace that easily...
Å
Jack tossed in a feverish nightmare, Daniel looking on with the expression of someone who had no idea what to do. His friend was in a bad way. The only relief there had been in the past few hours was that the feeling in Jack's leg had gotten worse which was a good sign that he could still feel it, but on the whole run very bad. Jack's pain had increased dramatically and the thin, broken man beside him seemed to be just a mere shadow of the well-built, strong, brave, humorous, stubborn, sarcastic and, if Daniel was being truthful, intelligent Jack O'Neill.
Suddenly Jack cried out. His breath came in wracked sobs as he yelled as loudly as he could, which was barely above talking volume, "If you... lay one fing-er on her, you Son-of-a-Bitch... I'll... k-ill you." His face changed to horror instantaneously. He clung to Daniel shirtsleeve pulling at it weakly, "Don't... d-on't..."
"Don't what?" Daniel whispered.
"Don't... hurt her... D-on't... take..."
"Who?"
"Don't t-ake... her from... me... please!"
"Jack, listen to me. Who? Who?"
"Carter... NO... SALAZAR. Not her. Pl-ease... Not..."
"Sam? Jack, who's taking her?"
"Hershrar... st-op... don't hurt her... d-on't..."
Daniel was seriously confused. He turned to see Soreles stood beside him, causing him to jump slightly as his attention had been so fixed on his friend that he hadn't realised the man had entered the room.
Jack began to murmur fearfully, but his mumbling was incoherent and disjointed.
"What does he mean?" Daniel asked Soreles.
"The Hershrar are a very cruel family. They were a family of assassins, murders and torturers who when captured were locked away in the prison. Niriti set the only one who was still alive free and gave him all his devices that had been locked away and gave him permission to torture any of the prisoners or those who did not succumb to the brainwashing."
"What does Sam have to do with this?"
Soreles closed his eyes and sighed, "Many years ago, he tortured me. I'd locked up his family and he wanted revenge." Daniel listened as Soreles spoke mournfully, "He asked me, 'What do you treasure most in the entire world?' I didn't answer. He ransacked my house and brought my wife and son to the prison room. My son was still young barely two years old. He attached me to a machine and said, 'Take one last look, Soreles, because now you'll never see your family again'. He turned on the machine. I'll never forget the pain, even though it was extremely brief. My eyes burnt in their sockets and the agony was indescribable. I heard a scream and felt the machine eyepieces being pulled away. My wife had pushed the Hershrar over," Soreles' voice lost it strength for a moment as he croaked emotionally, "He killed her, but then the guards arrived and arrested him. They locked him up."
Daniel sat in shocked silence as Soreles murmured, "The machine ruins your eyes, but the question ruins your mind. The one person you love more than anything and you know you will never be able to see them again. That was worse than any fear I have ever known. I was lucky. My eyesight was very barely damaged, but your friend was not as fortunate, or perhaps as unlucky, as I was to have my wife there to save me."
"Oh God," Daniel whispered as Jack let out a groan.
"Don't... take... her... Son-of... a-bitch... you lay... finger... on... h-er... I'll kill... yo-u..."
Daniel shuddered and turned to look at Soreles, but he was gone just as suddenly as he'd appeared. He gave a small jump of surprise and then turned back to Jack and gave another as the sick man's dark brown eyes shot open, wide with fear and panic. He flung his arms out as he murmured, "Sam... don't!"
"Jack. It's OK. It's Daniel. You're not in the prison anymore. You're safe. You're not there. You're not there anymore. You're safe."
Jack turned to the voice grabbing at Daniel's shirt, his sightless eyes filled with tears, "They... took her, Da-niel. They t... took... from... me."
"They didn't. They could never take her from you."
Jack relaxed slightly, swiping a hand over his watery eyes, "She's... always h-ere. She... she said... she'd ne-ver... leave..."
"And she won't, Jack. She's probably safe and sound and coming to rescue us."
Jack tensed at that, "Told... her n-ot... to. She... she w-on't... listen. Too... da... damn stubborn! ...They'll kill... her... Dan-. They'll kill... her."
"They haven't got her, Jack. We know that much. Don't worry. She'll be alright."
Jack nodded, his blind eyes wide and fearful in an expression that made unwanted tears itch at the back of Daniel's eyes. He closed them for a second before looking back at the man as he drifted off into another feverish doze. Daniel was glad he wasn't still murmuring. He didn't think he could cope if he still was.
Jack was blind and on Death's door, Sam was missing, they were trapped light years from home and Daniel was sick with worry.
"God, what am I to do?"
Å
The Stargate whirled and Sam bounced on the balls of her feet nervously. They were going to bring them home. They just had to.
Colonel McLeod entered the embarkation room followed by SG-12. Captains Joey Robertson and Leila Smith were behind him. Captain Robertson was about the same size as Sam. He had an African-American complexion, with curly, black hair and brown eyes. He was a cheerful guy, always smiling and cracking the odd joke.
Captain Smith was slightly shorter than him. She had dark brown hair that had been cropped and large, dark blue eyes. She'd known Leila for quite a while. When they'd been rookies they'd been quite good friends. Their birthdays were a week apart and they both had a lot in common.
The formidable looking Major Ryan Malone followed them. He was at least six foot six and was always frowning. He was big and bulky. He had flaming red hair and equally flaming green eyes.
Colonel McLeod nodded towards her, "Major Carter."
She gave a small smile as Smith and Robertson walked over, both Captains greeting her in unison, "Hey Major."
McLeod spoke, "So do you have any idea where to look first, once we get on the planet?"
"They are either in the prison or they are still on the loose. If they're in the prison there is not a lot we can do, but if they're hiding in the out skirting forests..."
"We still have a chance," Smith said brightly. She gave a reassuring smile, "We'll get them back, Ma'am!"
Sam nodded as the Gate engaged. They walked up the ramp as General Hammond spoke into the microphone, "Bring them back, Major."
She gave a small salute and clasped her gun in her hands firmly. Once she stepped through the other side there would be guards ready to shoot her. She took in a deep breath and stepped into the wormhole.
As she stepped out the other side, she looked around confused. There were no guards. They were probably still hunting for her and, if they'd escaped, the rest of SG-1.
McLeod signalled for them to follow him. Before them Sam could see the shape of the prison just visible over the canopy. McLeod stopped and began to speak quietly, "We'll have to assume they escaped. Robertson and Malone, I want you to go to the city. Keep a safe distance, but see if you can find out whether they were recaptured." They nodded in agreement, as McLeod added, "Radio back every half hour.
Sam turned to him and asked, "Are we going to search the forest?"
McLeod nodded, "Yes. Smith, Carter, you're with me. OK? Let's move out."
After about half hour of trekking through the woodland, Robertson and Malone went towards the city and left the rest of them searching the forest.
Å
Teal'c stood guard outside the entrance to the Shir's hideout. He decided it was all he could do to help O'Neill at this moment. There were three rooms creating the underground bunker. One was O'Neill's room. Another was the Shir's room. The twelve Shir all slept in the same room. The final room belonged to himself and Daniel Jackson, where all the supplies were also kept. Neither of them had slept there and Teal'c had told the Shir to use the space. Teal'c doubted very much that since Daniel Jackson had finished ingesting the painkillers that he had slept at all and Teal'c knew he hadn't rested for quite a while, unless it was completely necessary for him to Kel'no'reem and at those times he sat in O'Neill's chamber.
O'Neill was being most obstinate and Teal'c was quite perplexed by the Tau'ri emotions once again. The Colonel refused to leave until Major Carter stepped through the Stargate at the same time as him. He was in desperate requirement of medical attention, but he still would not depart. Teal'c had known for quite a while that if this particular situation ever occurred Colonel O'Neill would act this way and he was.
Teal'c widened his stance slightly. He had tried explaining to Colonel O'Neill that he had to leave, but he would not go. He understood the Colonel's predicament. While he had been blind, he had been tempted to shoot himself with his staff weapon, but two things had kept him from doing so. The first, his determination to free his friends and return them to their planet and the second, his son, Ry'ac. He knew that is there was anyone he should live for it was his son.
But O'Neill's son, Charlie, was long dead and Teal'c wondered who could ever convince O'Neill to change his mind. It was difficult at the best of times! He was a very... determined man, Teal'c had observed from many years of friendship with the Tau'ri. He could think of only one person that had and probably could ever change his mind. And her name was Major Samantha Carter.
Teal'c had noticed it from the moment he had first helped them escape from Apophis. At first he had thought they were in a relationship because they seemed to work together almost telepathically. When Teal'c had discovered the truth he had been surprised. When he found out that they had been working together for less than two days he was even more surprised.
Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were similar and different in many ways. Teal'c had noticed whenever Colonel O'Neill participated in an argument with Daniel Jackson, Dr. Fraiser or any member of her staff, General Hammond, an alien diplomat, a politician, a scientist, a subordinate, a superior... in fact, almost everyone, she would almost always be the one to settle the matter, the Colonel calmed by her.
Teal'c also found it quite amusing that O'Neill did not argue with what she said. It reminded him of many of the relationships on his much beloved soap operas where the Tau'ri males showed signs of fear when the women became enraged! He could distinctly remember O'Neill once saying, "Carter's always right, so why argue! Arguing only leads to having my ass well and truly kicked and when Carter's doing the kicking..." O'Neill had shuddered at the image of Major Carter assaulting him and winning, "How to survive on planet Earth. Rule No. 1: Eat. Rule No. 2: Drink. Rule No.3: Never argue with women!"
So Major Carter was the only one who could influence O'Neill's decision. The problem was she was the one they endeavoured to find.
Due to this, Teal'c had left Daniel Jackson to try and persuade the Colonel to leave. Teal'c anticipated failure, although knowing that Daniel Jackson would irritate O'Neill, he believed that there still could be a chance to sway the stubborn Colonel's mind.
As the Jaffa stood there he began to speculate how O'Neill had been blinded. He had inquired into the subject, but the Colonel had not replied. Daniel Jackson already knew and Teal'c felt 'left-out'. O'Neill usually held a good understanding with Teal'c and the Jaffa had often informed Colonel O'Neill of much information about himself that he would not tell many individuals.
From the moment they'd met, Teal'c had known the man was right when he had said, 'I can help these people'. He had and Teal'c had hardly ever doubted him since...
A rustle came from his left. He spun around, staff engaging. There was another rustle from his right and the sound of a twig snapping from behind him.
"Identify yourselves!" Teal'c said threatening, as from his left a familiar mop of golden hair was visible.
As the woman stepped out towards him she said, "Teal'c." Teal'c inclined his head to her, as Colonel McLeod and Captain Smith also stepped out from the surrounding foliage.
"Major Carter..."
She spoke desperately as she continued, "Where is he?"
Å
"Jack, you really need to get home! Have you heard yourself? Your lung infection is really bad, not to mention your leg, the fact you're covered in burns and whip wounds and that you're blind. You're coming home!"
Daniel pulled a hand over his face. Composing a speech wasn't going to get it done. No matter what he said, Jack wasn't going to leave. He'd tried to put the words a thousand ways, but he knew there was no way in Netu he could convince him to leave. Stubborn was his middle name!
Jack 'Mulish' 'Wilful' 'Unruly' 'Stubborn''Obstinate' 'Defiant' 'Headstrong' O'Neill!
He sighed and walked towards Jack's room. As he entered, he saw Jack propped up against some pillows. He looked around wildly, "Daniel? Teal'c?"
The sight of pure vulnerability made Daniel's heart twang painful. Jack was frightened, not to mention in utter agony, and yet he refused to go. He would never leave Sam behind.
"It's me," Daniel said quietly, as he strode over and placed himself in the chair beside Jack's bed.
He looked awful. His sightless eyes were seriously watery and as lifeless as ever and the burns on his eyelids were now red bloody scabs. His leg was in a cast, but its crooked form was visible under the many blankets. His unevenly chopped hair was messier than before and his skin was pallid. The burns and slashes that covered him, even though they'd been cleaned, still looked very nasty. His lung infection was getting worse. His voice was barely a whisper now and Daniel knew that if they didn't get him home, he'd die.
Daniel spoke, "Jack, we need to take you home. We have to leave..."
"Over my dead body!" Jack said stubbornly. He began to cough terribly ruining whatever affect he may have had.
"That's precisely why we have to get you home, Jack! If you don't come it may have to be a dead body," Daniel said desperately, "You have to come with us."
"Not without Carter..." He whispered huskily.
Daniel sighed. Every time they talked he said the same things! He was like a scratched LP!
"Jack, you are going to die. We can take you home today and Janet can fix you up. If we go now she might even have a way to fix your sight..." Jack snorted, but Daniel continued, "We don't even know if Sam is already there, waiting for us, praying that we come home..."
Jack sat there silently as Daniel said, "Jack, if she is in the prison, just for the sake of argument, we can't rescue her. We need reinforcements. We need to go home..."
"Then you go. I'll stay here..." he whispered croakily.
Daniel was just about ready to throttle him, "You're going to die! If you stay and they need to do a rescue mission, you'll be slowing them down. What is the point in staying here?"
"Because she stayed!" Jack's whisper increased in volume, "She stayed... I told her to leave. I told her to go home, but she stayed, even though she knew that if she did she might die..." Jack spoke sadly, "Daniel, she put her life in jeopardy to save me..." He sighed, "And now I'm doing the same..."
"Jack, you can't even stand up and even if you had enough energy, you have a broken leg! You can't go on the rescue mission, so what are you going to do? Just sit here until they get her back or until someone from the SGC comes to retrieve us?"
Jack sat in silence for quite a while. He then murmured, "One of my biggest rules is never leave a man behind... and I'm not leaving this goddamn planet until all my team is present and accounted for."
"Jack, one member of your team is going to definitely die, if you stay. And that's you!"
Jack turned to Daniel and stared at him with his unseeing eyes as he said solemnly, "Would you leave Sha're?"
"What?"
Jack repeated hoarsely, "Would you leave Sha're? If you thought she'd been taken to a prison and was being tortured, would you leave? If you were dying, would you leave just to save yourself? If you thought the woman you lo..." his voice trailed away, as he realised what he'd just said. After a few seconds he spoke brokenly, "If you thought the woman you love was being whipped, beaten, blinded and then hanged, would you run home?" Daniel was shocked and sat in silence, as Jack whispered, "No, I didn't think so."
"Jack..."
"Even if I do go home, I'm as good as dead anyway," he interrupted. He coughed loudly and then said, "I'll just be sat at home for the rest of my life getting old, if I don't shoot myself first! I couldn't live like that... I'd rather die here, thanks."
Daniel got up and sighed, as he walked to the door, "I'll see if Teal'c and some others could go through the Gate. Maybe the Shir could find out if Sam's in the prison..."
He turned to see Jack smiling, "Thanks Danny..." He began to choke raucously, "God, I hope Sam's not in that hellhole..."
Daniel ignored the comment and the fact Jack had called Sam by her first name again, deciding it was obviously going to become an frequent recurrence from now on, "And I'll see if the Shir have got anymore of that stuff for your chest..."
Jack just nodded and continued to cough, as Daniel stepped through the door. As usual Daniel left the room having got nowhere in fact he'd gone backwards, or had he? Jack had said a lot more than he usually did. Maybe Daniel was starting to irritate him!
He walked along the corridor, feeling everything dragging him down and suddenly had an absurd urge to cry. Jack's condition was becoming graver by the second and as far as they knew that could apply for Sam as well. Every day, at some point, Jack asked him to kill him and everyday Daniel couldn't build the courage within him to do it. Daniel had spent a lot of his life before meeting Jack, Sam and Teal'c alone and now he had them he didn't want to let any of them go.
He carried on walking, his mind reeling, and was almost bowled over by a speeding someone. A someone with short blonde hair, blue eyes and an SGC uniform followed by a Jaffa and two other people in SGC uniform!
She stopped and turned back to him, "Daniel?"
"Sam?" He wondered if he was dreaming until the woman grinned happily and hugged him tightly. He also smiled for the first time in what felt like forever as he said relieved, "You're OK! We thought you'd been recaptured!"
"No. SG-12 were there at the 'almost execution' and they took me back through the Gate... Daniel? Where is he?"
"He's through there..."
Before he'd even finished Sam was speeding back down the corridor, followed by her procession.
Å
Sam turned into a doorway and stopped dead. He lay there in the bed, breathing in short wheezes. He looked worse than he had when she'd taken him to the gallows.
He looked up, "Daniel? That you?" She didn't speak, as he stared around blindly, fright clearly visible, as he spoke his voice shaking with slight fear, "Guys? This isn't funny, Daniel!" He coughed roughly and if it was even possible she guessed his lung infection was worse.
"Jack..." she whispered gently.
"Sam?" His eyes widened slightly. She ran to him and knelt down. She threw her arms around him, as he whispered in amazement, "Carter!"
He hugged her back, as she said, "It's me. I'm here."
He clung to her tightly and pulled away. She could see moisture in his eyes as he stroked her cheek and then pulled her back into the tight embrace. He murmured into her ear, "Wh-what are you doing here?"
"SG-12 were at the hanging. They took me home. I thought you'd been recaptured!"
"Same here," he began to cough.
She pulled away worried and said, "Why didn't you go back to Earth? You look terrible..." He sat in an awkward silence, as she spoke softly, "Jack?"
Daniel came to the rescue as they joined them in the room, "The Shir are ready for us to leave. They're getting ready to secure the Gate apparently the rest of SG-12 were spotted..."
"The Shir?" Sam said confused, "Aren't they those Bastards that...?"
"I'll explain later," Daniel interrupted with a sigh, "It's a long story."
Sam nodded, as she turned to the broken man lying in the bed, "OK. Can you walk?"
"Sure," Jack choked, although Sam highly doubted it. She gave him a sceptical look and then realised he couldn't see it anyway...
"Don't give me that look, Carter. I get enough of it from Daniel!"
Sam smiled slightly, as she stood up. She turned to McLeod, "Any news from Malone and Robertson?"
"They were spotted by the guards, but they managed to get away and they're on their way back here," he said as he came into the room, "They're rendezvousing with us where we split up before so we can go to the Gate together."
Sam turned to him, "Colonel, could you give me a hand with Colonel O'Neill? Daniel and Smith get weapons and Teal'c..."
"I will inform the Shir of our departure and collect any items that may be useful if we are isolated from the Gate," Teal'c said as he turned and left.
Sam helped Colonel McLeod as they supported Jack between them, "Thanks."
"No problem, Major."
She spoke to her CO gently, "You OK, Sir?"
"Never felt better," he said, as the sparse colour drained rapidly from his face, "I feel fantastic...
McLeod snorted, "Sure you do, Colonel."
"No sarcasm, McLeod. In these situations I'm the only one aloud to be sarcastic..." Jack said weakly.
McLeod smiled slightly, trying to keep the mood optimistic, "Oh yes. I remember hearing something about you and sarcasm. Let's hear some of your world famous lines, then!"
As he spoke Daniel, Smith, Teal'c and a group of the Shir returned.
"Let's go," Daniel said. As everyone began to leave the room, Daniel turned to Jack anxiously, "Jack, are you gonna be OK? I mean you can't see where you're going and even with Sam and McLeod leading you isn't it going to be difficult?"
"Oh no, Daniel. It's gonna be a walk in the park! A dark walk in the park, I'll admit, but..."
"Daniel," Sam said despairingly, "Don't encourage him!"
"What? I don't understand. Encourage him how?"
"Colonel O'Neill is showing off his skill at being sarcastic."
"Oh... Sorry."
Jack was feeling too dizzy to make any more comments. It was difficult to stand up, when you have a broken leg, you can't see and you're feeling faint.
They began to move and Jack tried to hobble along as fast as he could, which wasn't very fast.
They reached the rendezvous point and Robertson and Malone joined them. They continued on their way to the Gate in silence, Carter occasionally asking if he was alright, although she knew he wasn't by the way he said he was fine.
After a good walk they finally reached the clearing. It was unusual quiet and it frightened Sam slightly. She glanced at Colonel McLeod who pointed at the Shir and signed 'Looking for Snipers'.
She nodded and looked at the man between them trying to catch his ragged breaths. Jack was looking a sickly green colour and was obviously in tremendous pain. She felt sympathy and anxiety take over as she rubbed his back gently and tried to make it easier for him to breathe while they crouched in silence waiting for the all clear.
"We've reached the edge of the forest," Sam whispered into his ear, "It's the opening now."
"We're gonna run..." Jack whispered huskily.
"Yeah..." She murmured apologetically.
Suddenly, the Shir began shooting. There were guards surrounding them! She watched as some guards fell to the floor unconscious, as the Shir continued to shoot into the undergrowth with their Zat-like guns.
"MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!" McLeod yelled as they began to run.
Daniel got to the DHD and began to dial. A shot narrowly missed his head and Teal'c immediately stood in front of him shooting into the undergrowth.
Sam and McLeod kept running for the Gate, dragging Jack's limp form between them. Smith and Robertson dived through as Teal'c continued to provide cover. They ran into the wormhole.
They stepped out the other side and they laid the Colonel down on the ramp. Sam turned around and watched as Malone came through supporting a limping Daniel and Teal'c behind him.
"I believe it would be necessary to close the Iris, General Hammond," Teal'c said as the metal shield slid closed. There were two 'flies on the windshield' and then the wormhole disengaged.
General Hammond's voice came over the intercom, "Stand down. Medical team to the Gate room."
All the SFs lowered their weapons and Sam knelt down beside the Colonel as she heard General Hammond speaking to Colonel McLeod.
"I... I'm... gonna pass... out, C-C-C..." an incredibly pale Jack managed to stammer through clenched teeth, unable even to finish her name.
"That's OK, Sir..."
She hadn't even finished when his eyes closed. Sam turned as she heard Janet speaking, "Excuse me. Medical team, coming through."
The SFs were shunted out of the room as Janet spotted them, "Oh my... OK get him on the stretcher." Sam followed the medical team out of the room as she distinctively heard Janet mutter, "Always on my shifts!"
Å
When Jack woke he kept his eyes closed. He knew there was no point in opening them. He wondered where he was. His memory was so hazy and vague. He could hear two voices, becoming sharper and clearer as he began to awaken to the world. He knew that voice! Sam was speaking...
"... He's covered in burns, bruises and whip slashes and his leg's broken..."
"Yes. The Shir did a good deed of putting it in a cast... I'm still confused..."
And that was the Doc! He was... home? He was home! He began to remember what had happened, but Sam speaking again made him lose that train of thought.
"Niriti brainwashed the population of P9G 278 to believe that some impostors were the Shir. The real Shir saved our lives..."
"Right," the Doctor said proving she still didn't understand, "Anyway, you were telling me about his injuries?"
"Well, he has a nasty lung infection and as like the rest of us he has a rope burn around his neck. Other than that you've seen that they gave him a bad haircut," Sam tried to laugh a little, but the disgust in her voice was still visible.
"And that's it..."
"Well, no..."
Jack decided to come to her rescue. He spoke croakily, "Doc?"
"Colonel O'Neill," he heard the doctor's heels clicking on the floor as she came towards him swiftly.
He hesitated in opening his eyes. He wished that he would see Janet Fraiser's relieved and comforting pixie smile and notice that her auburn hair had changed style yet again and that she'd brought out the extra long needles just to scare him. He wished that he would see Sam smiling at him, her big, blue eyes swallowing him completely, as he willingly drowned in them. He opened his eyes...
Darkness.
Sam watched as he opened his eyes. A look of despair crossed his features and then was hidden as he murmured, "Car-ter?"
"I'm here," she said quietly as she pulled up a chair. He moved his hand towards her and she held it instinctively. No one had expected him to wake up this early! Janet had only finished dealing with his leg two hours ago!
She turned to Janet who was staring at their clasped hands in surprise. She gave Sam a look that screamed, 'What are you doing? Have you lost your mind? You're in the SGC Infirmary!'
"Doc, you need to change the light bulb in here. It's a little dark."
Sam gave a soft laugh, as he spoke seriously. Janet didn't understand. The lighting in the Infirmary was extremely bright compared to the rest of the SGC and he didn't sound like he was being sarcastic...
Jack turned his head so he was facing Sam. She rubbed his hand with her thumb as he murmured, "You hav... haven't told her...?"
"Well, I was about to..."
"I'm n-not having a go, Carter. I would... I would have been more an... annoyed if you had."
Sam smiled gently, "It wasn't my place to say anything..."
"About what?" Janet asked confused, "I want to know what Major Carter hasn't told me!" Janet spoke irritated.
Jack sighed and turned to face forwards. He took in a wheezy breath, "I'm gonna... gonna need rea-ding lessons..."
"Colonel, what are you talking about? You can read!"
"Yes, but I... I c-an't... read that language... what's it called... you... you know, Carter... wh-what is it?"
"Braille," she said quietly, "I'll help you if you want."
"Braille? Would someone tell me what is going on?"
Jack sat silently for a moment and then took a gulp and whispered hoarsely, "I'm..."
"... Awake!"
Sam turned to the door to see Daniel limping in followed by Teal'c. Daniel's ankle had been put in a cast. While running up the steps to the Gate he'd lost his footing and now his ankle was broken.
"Danny? Th... That you?"
"Yep."
"How's that... How's that an-kle of yours?" Sam looked at Jack as he spoke and knew he was purposefully detouring from his own disability.
"Broken. I tripped while running to the Gate. I was lucky Malone was there. Teal'c was busy holding off the guards and everyone else had already left."
Jack just sighed as Teal'c spoke, "We came here to determine how you were, O'Neill."
Jack jumped in shock, "Teal'c! Don't... Don't do th-at!"
"I am sorry, O'Neill. Next time, I shall announce my presence as I step into the room."
"Thanks..." Jack croaked.
"Jack, you OK?" Daniel asked quietly as he hobbled over and sat on the gurney next to Sam.
"Oh, you know. Mis... Miserable, in pain... I s-ound like a frog and... and I have an awful haircut. I'm f-ine. Just... Just telling Doc Fraiser her about... 'bout the light bu-lbs. She shou... She should really get Siler to fix 'em!"
Daniel smiled slightly, "Yeah..."
Janet was frowning in absolute confusion, as Daniel looked at her and then at Jack with a sad and almost pitiful expression.
The Doctor spoke confused, "Colonel? The light bulbs are fine. I don't see..."
"No. I d... I don't see," he coughed, "I'm blind, D-oc..."
Janet gasped and Sam saw Jack wince, closing his eyes with a gloomy sigh. Janet's hand sat in front of her lips as she murmured, "Oh my..."
"Yeah," Jack said slightly angry, not with Janet, but with the situation. Sam watched the man glaring into nothingness, with an expression that usual would've made her burn to a crisp on the spot, but the expression on his face never reached his eyes and instead of the glare making her whimper it made her feel pity for the man, which was precisely why he was glaring to stop them feeling sympathy for him. Sam knew him well enough to know that he despised feeling so weak and vulnerable.
Everyone exchanged sad glances as Janet mumbled, with visible tears in her eyes, "I'll go tell the General. If you need anything call his office," and with that she hurried from the room, leaving the room in a dense dreary silence.
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When General Hammond arrived to speak to Jack they all left saying their goodbyes as they were all in need of sleep and Jack and the General needed to speak in private though the outcome of their conversation to come was only too obvious.
Daniel began to walk to his quarters when a voice from behind him made him stop, "Daniel! Wait up!" Daniel turned around to see Sam jogging after him she stopped next to him and spoke, "I need to talk to you."
"OK," Daniel said slightly nervously.
"It's about the Colonel."
Daniel's worry increased, "What?"
Sam frowned at him confused before continuing, "What do you reckon will happen to him?"
Daniel sighed slightly relieved she hadn't asked him what he'd thought she would. He spoke, "I really don't know. He'll probably stay in the air force hospital for quite a while..."
Sam nodded and then frowned as she murmured, "You were so nervous when I started talking to you. What did you think I was going to ask?"
Daniel gave a frightened gulp and put on a smile, "Isn't telling you cheating?"
Sam spoke seriously, "Does that mean I have to guess?"
"Can you?"
Sam gave a soft laugh, "Are you gonna answer all my questions with a question?"
"Are you?"
Sam laughed, "Daniel!" She smiled slightly and then spoke gravely, "Why didn't you come back to Earth?"
Daniel spoke sadly, "Jack refused to leave."
Sam stared at him in shock and sudden realisation. Daniel knew she already knew the answer to the question that was silently spoken in her blue eyes and now hung in the air waiting for his reply, the nervous tension between them more than obvious.
"Because you didn't leave him, so there wasn't a chance in Hell he would leave without you." Daniel spoke in a hushed voice, "He said 'Would you leave Sha're?' He told me... he..."
Sam held up a hand, as if telling him not to say it. She stared at him for a second before her eyes fell back to the ground.
Daniel just nodded and murmured, "I've never seen him so..." She stared up at him as he stopped speaking. Daniel sighed and then coughed awkwardly as he said, "He was scared shitless, pardon the use of uncouth language." He pierced her with a meaningful look, "He thought he'd lost you, Sam."
Sam glanced at the man before her as she just nodded distractedly. She stood there for a few moments her eyes roving over the floor before she murmured quietly, "I have to go get some sleep."
Daniel murmured, "Yeah." He gave her a comforting smile, "Sleep well, Sam."
She returned a smile, though it was weak and sad, "I doubt it. Night, Daniel."
With that she strolled off and Daniel was left stood in the middle of the corridor. He sighed. Since when had their lives become so damn complicated!
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After a long and depressing conversation with General Hammond, it was quite obvious Jack would have to leave the air force. He'd been told to think it over and at the moment he was lying in bed eyes closed, even though it made no difference. Jack guessed it was about 0200hrs. He pretended to be asleep, but he was thinking. He was thinking about how his life was over and how the minute he found a gun it really would be...
"Janet?"
Jack heard the whisper as the doors to the Infirmary swung open with a slight squeak. The one thing Jack thought may ever be able to bring him back from the abyss, where he was so close to just tossing himself into the darkness, had just entered the room. Only one thing could possibly be his salvation... man, that sounded corny... but it was true. She was the one thing that could be his light in this everlasting darkness his soul and his world were engulfed in.
The kindly Doctor's soft whisper broke off his thoughts, "Sam? What are you doing up? It's 3 in the morning!" He'd been close!
"I... I couldn't sleep... Nightmares..."
"Do you need some medication?"
"Well no... uh... yes... uh," Sam sighed in frustration at her unusually frequent use of the word 'uh' and her inability to make up her mind about whatever it was. She spoke quietly, "I just... I thought I'd come and sit with him for a while..."
"Oh..." Janet said softly, "OK, but not for too long. You need to sleep as well." After a few seconds, the small Doctor spoke with anxious curiosity, "Look, Sam, I don't mean to pry, but are your nightmares... about what happened to the Colonel?"
There was a pause. Carter released another sigh, this time full of pain and shuddering slightly giving the impression she was anything but frustrated this time. He could feel her eyes on him as she whispered shakily, barely louder than a breeze, "I just want to know he's gonna be alright."
The Doc's voice was sad as she murmured, "I understand. If you need anything..."
"I'll call..." Sam mumbled. He heard her boots squeak on the floor as she approached his bed. Ever since he'd lost his sight, all his other senses seemed to have become more acute, not that that was surprising at all. The sound of hushed footsteps now sounded like a thudding drum, the touch of the bed sheets now felt like burning metal, the smell of the flowers in a vase by his bed now smelt overwhelmingly pungent and the taste of vomit in his mouth... was now indescribable!
She quietly pulled up a chair and sat down beside him, her presence alone calming him. He kept his eyes closed for a little while longer, sensing the small Doctor was still in the room. Once he heard Janet's office door close, Jack opened his eyes. Sam gave a small jump, as she whispered, "Colonel! Did I wake you?"
"No. Just trying to st... to stop Fraiser from g-iving me sedatives..." he whispered back croakily as he turned to face where her voice came from.
Jack could hear Sam smiling as she murmured, "Why?"
"I needed to think and... I c-an't do that... if I'm to-tally zonked!" Sam chuckled softly, as he whispered, "I've been thinking... 'bout what'll ha-ppen to me... after all this... and I d-on't like it."
In his mind's eye, he could see Sam frowning slightly as she mumbled, "Colonel?"
"I don't want to... to live like that... actually... I just don't w-ant to live..."
"Don't say that," Sam whispered shocked, her fear plain to hear, "You can't just give up!"
He spoke sadly, "Too late. I gave up a... a long time ago. I've... just been pos... postponing it..."
"Jack, listen to me," he felt her cool fingers touch his hand; the touch sending pleasurable shivers down his spine. She caressed the back of his hand with her thumb, trying desperately not to aggravate his chaffed and swollen wrists, "I know you're not a quitter and I have complete faith that you could do absolutely anything if you put your mind to it. I know you can get through this. Even if I have to carry you the whole damn way, you are gonna reach the finish line!"
Jack smiled slightly, but didn't reply. They just sat in silence for a few minutes, until he murmured, "I don't think I c-an, Carter. The device robbed me of my si-ght... and... and the question... robbed me... robbed me of... of you."
"What?" Sam asked confused.
Jack sighed, "When the... Hershrar was tor... torturing me, he aske... asked me 'What is the... thing you treasure most... in all the... the world?' He searched me and ... the Bastard found Charlie's Christmas card... and a photo..."
"Our photo..." Sam whispered.
"What?" Jack asked confused. He shook his head and continued, "He rea-lised what I trea... treasured most," Jack looked towards her, "You, Carter. He then hoo... hoo-ked me up to this... to this machine and said 'take one l-ast look... because you are nev-er going to see her again'."
Sam sat in silence. After a short while she murmured, "You must have been so scared. The torturing..."
"I was frightened ou... out of my m-ind. Not of the torture... I've done that all bef... before. Except for that one device the g... guy was crap; I had worse treatment in Iraq..." His voice trailed away for a second before he murmured, "No, not the torture..."
"Then what?" Sam asked already knowing the answer.
"The thought of never... of never seeing you... ever again," he murmured, his blind eyes lowered, "I could deal with... physical pai-n. I could deal with th... the beating, the b-randing and the breaking of m... my bones. The th-ing I couldn't... deal with was the thought th... the thought that I was never going to see you again."
"I asked Daniel why you didn't leave and come back to Earth," she whispered after a moment, "Was... Was that why?"
He spoke huskily, his voice still raw and his chest still badly infected, "In one way... I'd already lost you and I wa... wasn't going to go back to Earth... to discover you were in th... that prison and that I'd lost you... for good. That I'd die and never hea-r your voice or see you sm-ile again." After a second he murmured, "It killed me, Sam. And it's still k... killing me now." He sighed as somehow he knew he was staring into her eyes as if a sixth sense was telling him so. He spoke trying to control the lump in his throat, "Truth is I love you, C... Carter."
Sam sat there staring at him not knowing what to say. Her mouth was open, but no words were forming... Her heart skipped a few beats as she realised this was it. Her chance to tell him she felt the same way. Her chance to tell him about the agony it had caused her not knowing if they had all been taken back to the prison, or if they'd already been hung again. The pain at the thought she'd never be held by him again, that she'd never feel his lips brush against hers for the rest of her life. After moment she began to speak, her voice shaky, "Jack, I lo..."
"Colonel? You're awake?"
Jack turned to the disembodied voice of Doc. Fraiser and said croakily, and Sam noted dejectedly, "Just woke up. I had a nightmare."
"Not you as well! You better have some sleeping pills and get some rest, Colonel. And now I think about it, you as well Sam," Sam went to speak, but Janet cut her off, "No buts!"
Jack heard Sam get up as Janet gave her some sleeping pills. She walked to the door, "Night, Janet. Night, Sir."
He winced at the sound of the 'S' word. It was final. She didn't love him. He sighed silently, before he whispered miserably, "Night Sam."
He heard the doors swinging as his one chance of life, his one chance to live, left the Infirmary.
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Read on in 'S is for... Secrets Shown'
Copyright © 2004 Sam I Am
