Chapter 5

Peyton and Haley are outside of the school during 7th period. They got to have a free period that day, cause there was no teacher and no fill in. So Peyton is sketching in her book and Haley's doing her History homework.

"This is so weird don't you think?" Haley says out of the blue.

"What's weird?"

"How I was so close to getting married. I mean we was up at the alter had my family and his family there, we had our preacher there, I had said my vowels, and all of a sudden it was all over and nothing had happened. I am still plain Haley James."

"I know it is kinda ironic isn't it."

"Yeah." Haley laughs. "Do you think he will ever be ready for a committment that big?"

"Yeah he will. Just give it time. I kinda need to ask your opoinion about something."

"Ok what?"

"The other day I walked down to the basketball court and Jake was down there. We was sitting and talking about Jenny and Nikki. Haley, when Lucas left I spent everyday down there at Jake's house just playing with Jenny and talking to Jake. It was so nice. Then lastnight he tells me I am such a better mom to Jenny then Nikki ever was and he wants me in both of their lives. He wants to be with me."

"Are you serious? What about Lucas?"

"I want to be with him and only him. So I told Jake I couldn't. I think he's mad at me now."

"Jake being mad? I don't think so he understands."

"What if he doesn't Haley. I mean I love Jake cause he's a really good friend, but I don't think I have led him to believe I wanted more you know."

"Yeah, just don't worry about it."

"Ok."

The bell rings.

"Finally." Peyton says getting up and getting her book. "You need a ride home?"

"No Nathan's taking me home."

"Oh ok. Be careful Haley don't let him hurt you."

"I will be." Haley walks down the dteps and to Nathan's car.

Peyton decides to go to Lucas's. He was getting out of his car and heading for the door. She pulls in and he turns around. Peyton gets out.

"Do you always drive without a shirt?"

"For now yeah my air condition quit on me."

"Well I should be getting you to take me home then huh."

Lucas laughs.

"Come in noones home."

"Ok."

They walk into the kitchen. Peyton sits at the table and Lucas opens the refrigrator.

"I'm glad you came by I have had alot on my mind lately and your not going to be happy with it." Lucas says sitting down.

"What is it?"

"Ok well when I left and I came back I lied to you and I lied to everyone. I told them that I was miserable and that I was so much happier when I came back."

"How is that lieing Lucas?"

"Because the truth is I wasn't miserable when I was in Charleston with Keith. For once I was actually happy and Peyton I want to go back to being happy. I want to go back to the feeling I had when I was by myself up there. It was like I had a whole new life up there."

"Lucas are you trying to tell me you want to leave again?"

"Yeah."

"Lucas when you left that night without a warning I felt like you were running away from me. You left for a month then came back and my whole world chaged. You were such a diffrent person. For the better I mean. And for you to tell me you want to run again just makes me so angry. I'm sorry Lucas I'm not Haley. I know you want me to, but I can't."

"What?"

"I saw it."

"You saw what?"

"Your notebook."

"What you read it?"

"You know the passage you wrote about Haley and how no other girl compares to her."

"This notebook?" Lucas asks picking up a notebook from the countertop.

"Yeah."

Lucas opens it up to that page.

"Read the date to me."

Peyton looks at the passage.

"4/24/1998"

"See Peyton. I wrote that when I was 12."

"Oh well still I feel like in your eyes I am always being compared to Haley."

"Well your not Peyton."

"I hope not Lucas, cause I don't compare you to Nathan. I'm going to go."

"Please believe me Peyton."

"I do babe." Peyton says standing up and hugging him.

Peyton goes home changes clothes in her closet so noone on the cam would see. She sits in front of her computer and logs on her s/n and sits and draws. She knew Lucas was watching, cause he always did.

She draws her and Lucas sitting at a table and a bubble reading 'For once I was actually happy without you'. She knew that's not what he said, but that's what it felt like he was saying. Peyton holds it up for him to see.

Love4TheGame- That's not what I said???

Peyton86- Yeah well that's what I felt like you said.

Love4TheGame- The only reason I said that is to see if you cared. Yes I was thinking about leaving and I want to still, but your the only reason keeping me here.

Peyton06- Lucas if there is even one little chance you will leave again I want out of this now, cause I don't think I can go through all that again.

Love4TheGame- I'm not. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I am staying in my home and that is Tree Hill.

Peyton86- I don't know if I can.

Love4TheGame- What are you talking about Peyton?????

Peyton86- Now it's my turn.

Peyton86 has just signed off.

'WTH is she talking about now it's my turn?' Lucas thinks to himself.

Nathan and Haley are cuddled up on his couch.

"I want to be everything to you Nathan, but there are times that you act like you don't care and it hurts."

"What are you talking about Haley?"

"I'm talking about you and how you make me feel when I'm around you?"

"And how's that?"

"I can't explain it Nathan. It's beyond words could ever say. If you ever want out of this whatever we have going on just tell me now."

"What do we have Haley? Letely you seem so confuse on what we have?"

"I don't know anymore I mean you tell me you love and you want to stay a part of my life, but why run away? Why run out on me when we were about to say I do? Are you scared?"

"No, I don't get scared when I'm around you, cause I know your not going anywhere. And I'm not either."

"You think your whole life your bestfriend's going to be there for you though everything, but as soon as you get your first heartbreak they ain't their. But then you look back and realize the reason's because their the one who broke your heart."

"Are you talking about Lucas?"

"Yeah I guess I'm not use to him always being right there when I need him. He has moved on and I have to accept it. When we were younger that boy I swear he would be waiting by that phone when I called and he would be on my doorstep when I yelled. I miss that so much. For once I never felt alone and for once I knew I had someone to turn to. He hasn't been there for me for a while now and I don't understand. What did I do to him to not care anymore?"

"Nothing Haley. You did nothing. He's just getting settled down right now from moving back. Give him some time and I promise you he will be back to normal."

"I hope so."

"Trust me on this everything's going to be ok."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? Everythings not ok and it never will be ok. As long as I'm living everything is just going to get worst and worst."

"I'm sorry Hales. I hope everything gets better. What you got something to say about that to."

Haley gives him a weird look.

"Everytime I try to say something encouraging to you, you always have something bad to say about it."

"Not all the time. Ok maybe most of the time, but I have a reason to. I have been lied to my whole life it's just hard to trust anyone that's all."

"Haley you can trust me."

"I know."

Haley cuddles even closer with him.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah."

"I want to give myself to you tonight."

"Why?"

"Cause you fell in love with me."

"How you know?"

"I feel it."

"Not tonight babe. I want you to see that I will wait for you. I know your morals and I want to obey them."

"Your so sweet Nathan." Haley says as she yawns and falls asleep in his arms.