Chapter 6
Peyton could hear the creaking of Lucas standing by her door trying not to disturb her.
"I can hear you, you know."
He peeks his head in and goes in.
"What are you doing?"
"Drawing."
"That's cool."
"Not really."
"Why?"
"Cause I want my art to matter. I don't want it to be sitting on my bed stand with no one seeing it. I want it to be in a art museum and watch the peoples faces be amazed, but I know it's not going to happen."
"Why do you say that?"
"Cause there not good enough."
"Yeah right."
"Lucas how would you know you never even ask to look at my drawings."
"Oh I don't Peyton? Is that why I spend half of my day and even nights sometimes, when you can't go to sleep, watching you draw. Is that why when I walk up to your room I daze away looking at your pictures on your wall. Oh that's right I do all that cause I don't care."
"My mom use to be so fascinated with my drawings. I use to come home everyday and show her what I drew for the day and she would hang them up all over the house. That's why I started hanging them around my room. Then she died and I wanted to hide them all. I started to draw my feelings and I didn't want people to see. I drew my pain, I drew my tears, and I drew my depression. It was so hard to come out again. That's why I was so upset when you entered my strip into THUD magazine. Then I started to realize you cared. You cared enough to bring me back into the light. Kinda like my mom."
"See Peyton. You can't hide forever."
"I know and I have realized that."
"The other day you kinda got me questioning some things."
"Like what?"
"You said now it's my turn. What did you mean by that?"
"Oh. I was talking about running away." Peyton says still drawing.
"It's your turn to run away?" Lucas asks confused.
"Yeah, my dad called a couple of weeks ago he wants me to go on the ship with him."
"Really for how long?"
"Couple of months."
"A couple of months Peyton!" Lucas says upset.
"Lucas no you are not doing this to me!" Peyton says throwing her book across her bed. "You can not tell me to stay. Your not going to make me feel bad for this, cause Lucas you did it to me."
"I know, but if your doing this to get back at me then it's not worth it."
"You think it's all about you Lucas. Well guess what it's not. Other people have lives to and my dad needs me. He wants me to keep close to him."
"But I need you Peyton. I need you alot more than what your dad does."
Peyton breaks down.
"No you don't Lucas cause he's dieing!" Peyton yells out in screams. She tumbles over on her bed and bawls.
"What?"
"Yeah Lucas he has cancer and it can't be fixed. Nothing can fix it."
"OMG Peyton I'm sorry." Lucas says laying beside her and holding her from behind her. She holds on to his arms tightly.
"I'm so scared Lucas. I don't know what I'm going to do without him if he dies. I mean first my mom and now him. What am I going to do?"
"I don't know babe, but I'm here for you. You need to be with him now. When does he want you to go?"
"Tomorrow moring."
"Ok. I'm going to miss you so much."
"I know. Me too." Peyton says turning around and cuddling with him.
"Everything's going to be ok Peyt. I promise you that."
"I hope so."
Nathan goes to Haley's house he knew her parents weren't there so he walks on in. He loved to sneak up on her and see what she does when he's not there. He turns the corner and sees her on the couch with a lamp over her head writing.
"Hey babe whatcha doing?" Nathan asks sitting next to her.
"Just writing in my journal."
"I didn't know you kept a journal."
"Yeah when I was younger I would take this journal everywhere. I just never wanted to forgot one piece of my life. So I took it around and I would sit down and just express everything. I never really wrote anything interesting till we met and all of a sudden my life came so clear and I wasn't confused and I wasn't scared."
"Yeah?"
"Yes Nathan it was like my life all of a sudden got so much more complicated when you came into it and I figured if I could just write it all out it would make more since to me. And it did. I now understand it all. You love me for me and not how popular I am or my social rate. Your in love with me the plain Haley James."
"Yes I am, but Haley I feel like lately you are trying to change yourself into the person you think I want you to be."
"What do you mean?"
"You make me feel like I corrupted you or something. Like I made you into the girl you are today?"
"And who am I Nathan?"
"I don't know anymore, but you use to be my girlfriend."
"Nathan you think you know me so well. You think you know everything in my past you think you know everything about me and Lucas. You just have it all planned out. Well guess what Nathan you know nothing about me."
"All I know is that Haley when I first met you, you were more than enough for me. You were smart, beautiful, and perfect."
"Why do you expect me to be perfect?"
"I don't I just want the old Haley back that's all. The one I fell in love with. The one that made me fall head over heels when I saw her."
"Since we first met and started being a couple I always thought that I would never compare to the girls you use to date. You know Peyton and Brooke. They seemed to give you things I can't and Nathan I won't be those girls. I won't break my morals for you I'm sorry."
"Why do we always get on the subject."
"Cause Nathan I want you to know what you got yourself into and if you can't stick to it then I want out of this."
"Sometimes I wonder Haley. I wonder if that's not what you want. Do you think I ever feel like I'm being compared to Lucas. Huh Haley? You and him seemed to bond on the more personal scale then me and you and it hurts. I want to understand you, but you won't let me. I just keep thinking that in a blink of a eye you could leave and my whole world will crash down."
"Aww.. you think that?"
"Yes Haley and I always have."
"This is so weird I never thought Nathan Scott, star player of the basketball team, would feel this way for me."
"What can I say I'm a lucky guy."
"No I'm the lucky one."
