Hey Kari-123 I'm not postponing any story for June/July. Just maybe more updates then. Oh yeah and EverShadow, You're right. 30 reviews wasn't so bad. This is probably near the end but probably, if people will like this story, I'll make a sequel which will contain more tragedy (perhaps more romance but then not those sappy kind of romances. Does caring qualify for romance?) and it will be more Ryuki-ish than this. This fic concentrates more on Ruki's life, actually even though it was meant to be Ryuki which it is…Am I confusing you? I hope so =P.
Also, EverShadow, I skip a lot of moods since there really isn't any happy moods in this fic much.
This chapter is dedicated to:
Kari-123 who is constantly reviewing and that really helps thanks (Hey 2nd chapter dedicated to her)
Amethyst-Blizzard who's reviews are so nice that they really encourage me to write some more
Cyrox who helped me from the start
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon
What are Friends for? : Chapter 7: Exposing the truth of oneself
"Pi Ma Dan Quiang (One Horse Single Spear). Meaning Ruki is in a single-handed combat against life."
Jen's words echoed in Ryo's ear. He couldn't allow that. Ruki has already been left by so many people. She had been afraid of giving-in. They had all wanted her to give-in and be open. Once she did that, they left her. No, he couldn't allow that. He couldn't allow Ruki to journey on through life's greatest endeavors on her own. That was unfair.
"No" To the surprise of Jen, Ryo said that out loud.
"Ryo?"
"No"
"What do you mean?"
Just then the door opened and Ruki stepped out. Ryo didn't notice that they were already in front of Ruki's gate. She opened the gate. It creaked like a long-forgotten door, sharing the house's emptiness to everyone. It closed shut, enveloping Ruki with it's silence and loneliness. The girl stepped inside, sliding the door and was struck by the familiar sense of emptiness, terror and being forgotten. She stared around her and locked her eyes at the door, expecting her mom to come out at any moment now. It remained shut. With her eyes downcast she walked to her room, footsteps echoing through the empty hallways and ringing in her ears. Alone…
Back to Ryo and the others
"Ryo, again, what do you mean?" Jen was repeating his previous question.
"I can't let Ruki go on her own. I can't allow her to go on single-handedly through life like this. Things have gone bad for her…"
"We all know that Ryo. It's just that…what can we do?" Takato asked him. Jen nodded his head at Takato's question.
"I don't know, but I'll think of something all right!"
Next Day, Ruki's house
Ruki woke up earlier than usual, expecting her mom to be cooking downstairs. She then remembered that she was gone for…Heaven knows how long? This thought brought a piercing pain through her heart. But she had to go on. That was what Renamon, Seiko and Rumiko would want, right?
She took her bag and some money then ran outside. Maybe if she was early she could buy a snack for breakfast or maybe she could drop by the Matsuda's bakery. But then Takato's bakery was far and she could be late for school. She shoved off that idea and made her way to school, skipping breakfast. The thought of eating freshly baked, hot, warm baking bread made her throat dry and her mouth water (inwardly).
To her surprise she smelt the smell of the bread she had been longing for right beside her. She thought she must be dreaming. 'Am I really that hungry to even smell what I'm thinking of?' Then she heard a voice.
"Would you like some, Ruki?"
She turned. She hadn't noticed the boy walking beside her. It was Ryo, of course, making his usual trip to school. But why so early?
"Oh, uhm, sorry I didn't see you there" She took the bread handed to her and looked away. "Thanks"
"Your welcome" He walked alongside her for a while more. For some reason both were walking awfully slow. Perhaps it was because it was too early to got o school. The sun was barely even out yet. Normally they should still be asleep by now.
"Ryo why are you so early today?" Ryo was taken aback for awhile for her question popped out of nowhere.
"Well I considered that you would be waking up early today and decided to, well, go with you also. I also thought that maybe you wouldn't eat breakfast so I brought some of my breakfast too" Ruki was stunned. How would Ryo know? Was he psycho or something?
"How would you know?"
"Because I've experienced it"
"If you have then you must know that don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't want to be the pitiful person in the group. I don't want anyone to look down at me! I've let my guard down too much! I gave in too much and this, this is what I get?!" Her voice was already raising with every word and, although she had tried to prevent throwing her anger over Ryo, she failed.
Ryo just nodded his head. He had noticed that she had been giving away and telling him bits and pieces of her feelings, which was unusual as Ruki would rather close up to people.
"I know that you don't want people to feel sorry for you or pity you. I know how it feels. You want to be isolated from people and hide your feelings from them. You want to close up. I know. I used to be like that after my mother died. I didn't want any sorry glances or pitiful attention.
But I do know that I also wanted someone, at most one person to understand. I didn't want more than one. Just someone I could trust and tell my feelings to. I feel that probably you feel that way. As closed up as you are, no matter how isolated you are from people, there is still one small part of you that wants to be understood"
Ruki was silent and looked down. Her bread was finished so she held nothing. Ryo's words hit something in her. They didn't make her feel warm or comforted like he usually did but made her feel uncomfortable and cold. It wasn't that she was mad at Ryo for telling her those things but because it was the truth. He had exposed the truth of herself, the truth of life, to her very face. Unlike others he wasn't scared of her temper fit or of her attitude. All that he had said she had tried to prevent and with his last sentence she felt that she needed that more than ever but she didn't want it.
She considered to gaze at the ground as they slowly moved along. Ryo noticed this and figured he was right. She was just…different. Ruki wasn't like Juri who could open up to a friend and allow someone to comfort her. Nor was she like Takato who was straight-forward and got to the point. She wasn't like Jen who was quiet but exposed his feelings to his close friends. No, Ruki was different.
They got to the fork and went their separate ways. Slowly Ruki thought about what Ryo had just said. It was true. Too true. Too true for her to handle. This was just too hard. Too…difficult. Pressure was being pushed upon her, making her load even heavier. Too much. This was all too much.
Later that afternoon Ryo walked home with Ruki again. Of course both were silent as of this morning. Ryo walking home with her wasn't odd. He did this all the time. It was the silence that was odd and made her feel empty inside. Normally Ryo would play some joke or prank against her or they would throw insults at one another. This time was different. Both were buried deep in one's thoughts.
To Ruki's surprise Ryo stayed once reaching her home, her empty home, that is.
"Shouldn't you be going now, Ryo?" She got ready to bang the door at his face.
"No. I figured I would stay for a while longer. Your house is so empty and my dad wouldn't mind anyway"
"What if I don't want you to stay?"
He thought. "Hey it is a free world you know"
She sighed and let the boy in. The two sat cross-legged at the bridge overlooking the lake. They stared at the rippling water. The soft sound it was making was so soothing and comfortable. The wind was blowing and the sound of trees waving their branches up high to praise the Almighty One was heard. Singing birds could be heard everywhere. They admired the beauty of nature.
Birds are singing, dancing in the wind (Humuhuni and ibon, sumasayaw sa hangin)
And are always happy (At lagging masaya)
Why is it that human, who can think and have minds (Bakit kaya ang tao, may isip at talino)
Is still sad? (Nalulungkot pa siya)
Ruki shook her head and looked at Ryo, who looked back. Their eyes were locked together. Not in a warm way but in a demanding way.
"Ryo, why do you understand?"
"Because I have experienced it"
"But why? Why is it like this? What is the truth? I don't understand it, Ryo, I don't…" At this she looked down. She couldn't understand anything. Ryo felt her determination to understand and her confused state.
"Ruki the truth is, life isn't always fair. There are pits and traps that you fall into. But all this are necessary to fulfill your purpose of life. All this are necessary and all this have something to do in your future. You must accept that. Everyone must accept that. You can't expect something in return for doing something. Opening up and giving-in was a sacrifice you've made. The results, as you say, aren't very nice but that may not be the real result. The real thing is something more beautiful and something that you enjoy and that your happy. No life is perfect and not all that you want can be done. No matter how much you don't want it, sometimes you just have to open up. I had too. It is hard to open up, I know that, especially your deepest feelings but sometimes you can't contain yourself and the result is you end up telling them to the wrong person. You will fall into another pit then…"
"But how do I find the right person to tell it to, Ryo?"
"What do you think friends are for? Friends are people you can trust and who are always there watching your back. You just have to make the right choice. It all lies in our hands"
She looked down at her hands then looked back at him. "But what if I make the wrong decision, what if I make the wrong choice?"
"That's another reason for friends. They'll be there to help you and to understand you, especially with the absence of your family. My advice for you is you should not say your feelings all at once, just in case you're not sure it's the right person"
"What is the result of that, then?"
"Happiness, comfort, contentment…all that you have been yearning for. You can still keep your isolated self and your attitude but at least now there's someone who can help you through and someone you can trust. Maybe then you wouldn't feel as bad as you used to since now there's someone whom you can trust"
"Who helped you through Ryo?"
"Well I'm not so sure with that. It was hard to find the right person and I really didn't find anyone. My dad helped me but I just didn't feel as comfortable around him. Cyberdramon was another one but he really didn't mind much. In my days in the Digital World I thought about that and figured all that. Most of my feelings have been revealed to my dad but he just doesn't understand so much. I read some books and that's when I really knew…I don't want you to fail the same way I did, Ruki, so I'm telling you all this now"
She looked down and so did he. It was getting late. Ruki thought about all that he had said and all that she remembered until Ryo interrupted her thoughts.
"It's almost dinnertime, want to come over to eat?" he smiled his trademark smile as he stood up.
She figured she wouldn't have anything to eat anyways so accepted the offer.
"Sure. I'm starved. Thanks" She smiled her million-dollar smile, stood up and went with him to his house.
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Yay I finished the 7th chapter! The others will appear at the next chapter. That song in tagalog is not mine. I forgot the bad that sang it except I know that they're kids. That part was only the first verse. It's a very nice song. Tell me what you think and should I change the title and summary of this story? Thanks!
REVIEW!!!!
