***So many notes, but anyways I noticed a big boo boo in the layout of the story. There are special phrases and sentences that are supposed to be bold and they are not. Hopefully I fixed the problem for this chapter! Why does Microsoft Word hate me so much? -_-;
** Sorry for the small wait for the second chapter. The wait for the third shouldn't be that long since I have already begun working on it. Yes, there are going to be a few more chapters to the story. I fixed up the problem with the first chapter that was mentioned to me. Thank-you for bringing it to my attention.
~~ I also have another story that I will be posting up soon, and yes it has to do with AS again. Anael and Zaphie-kun, after that a small story about Shatiel. The ideas just keep coming, don't they?
*Also the dialogue that I used I got from www.jahannam.net, since Yukie translates super but I don't want her to come after me with knives or anything ^^; I just changed a few things to go more smoothly with the story line. Thanks goes to Yukie!!
Silence
Ch. 2
So he has come.
What am I to do? As I stand here in disbelief, it is as though my blood has become ice, and yet still it manages to scald me. I don't want to hurt the people I love anymore. I don't want to hurt mother with my words, and most of all I don't want to hurt him…
Setsuna keeps calling my name, but I keep my back to him. I want to walk away, harden myself to him. But then as I am about to walk away men come after him. The police? Why, what has he done? Onni-chan, always manages to get into trouble, he always did when he was little. Yet when ever he was around I felt the most safe, and loved… Setsuna…
I fight the urge to turn towards him. Closing my eyes, covering my ears with my hands, to drown out the sound of his voice. I can see those spiteful angels laughing at me, and with their holy visage, I can hear the holy bells beating frantically! Teasing me and taunting me. I can hear them call me the worst above all! Their laughter seems to circle around me, trying to drown me…
Mother is asking the men questions that I can vaguely hear. Their responses are muddled. I don't hear them. My heart is beating frantically. If I turn around, I will never be able to turn away! The sky darkens, as if to rain. The heavens are teasing me, too… I don't want it to rain! I want there to be sun, something to help guide me away, to help me make the right choices, for all I've been making are the wrong ones. And I can't face him.
"Setsuna!" Mother says in disbelief. He ignores her, calling to me. I try to fight back my response.
Mother takes me by the arm and we begin to leave and I feel that she is weak and trembling, a strange look in her eyes. I try to pretend to forget that he is behind me. My eyes are brimming with tears and my heart is screaming for me to turn around. Do not let go out love, something within me screams!
I can hear them,
"Sara! I love you!" he cries out and it takes me a moment to realize what he has said. The words settle in, and I start to tremble. No, more… I can't hear this anymore, my heart is breaking. People around us are standing, watching, and whispering. Their cold eyes on me, judging me to be worthless … the both of us. Labeling us the worst of all.
Those spiteful angels,
"This is the first and last time that I'm going to say this," he cries out, as if unaware of everyone else but him and myself, "So listen to me!"
"Leave the words unspoken" I whisper quietly, "Don't hurt yourself by saying this, for I already know them. They live in my heart unspoken and let them stay that way."
With their beautiful faces that enchant
"I love you."
You don't have to say such things; words that will only one day serve to hurt us. My hands tremble, and I bring them to my face to find that there are tears there. I can't stop them… I am helpless to stop… Why is my body disobeying me like this? I…
Their beguiling voices…
"I've loved you ever since I can remember, and it's troubled me since. I tried to like other girls … but it doesn't work. I only love you! Now and forever, even though I know that I can never make you happy with a forbidden love!"
Speak hatefully to me
No … I could be happy, I could. But it would hurt all those around us. I can't be selfish anymore! I can't think of myself only. Because … in the end I would be the one who to hurt you! And I love you too, but I can't do that sort of thing!
Whispering and laughing
"But even if it is a sin and if we will go to hell, I don't want to lie to myself anymore! I'm selfish. Sara, I don't want to hand you over to anyone else. I'll even kill you as long as I'm with you. I'll be happy, because then we won't be able to see each other anymore."
Blinding me with their holy light
"Please listen to me one last time. I love you Sara! Leave with me!"
I can hear the wind whisper to me. Speaking a message to my heart. Shaking inside. Unsure and afraid, not knowing what to do anymor! My mind tells me one thing, but my hearts speaks the opposite! I feel I am being torn inside. I want mother to be happy, but I too want to be happy. Worst of all I want everyone who witnessed what Onni-chan said to go away. Their dirty minds are trying to penetrate my mind, their eyes burning my skin, trying to make me do what my heart would cry out in pain against!
They have completed their judgment…
Before my eyes comes a memory. Of when mother and daddy has separated. Setsuna leaving while I stood out by the window as the heavens cried. His back to me, turned around and walking away…
"Sara" I hear him whisper. With a look of sadness so great he begins to turn around, the men holding him by his arms turn to lead him away. The memory of Setsuna of then seems to blend, combine together…
Without thinking I cry out for Onni-chan, "Brother, wait! Don't leave me, please turn around! Don't ignore me!"
I turn to mother and see her looking so sad, as though I have hurt her deeply. Hugging her to my heart, for I've always loved mother even though I haven't always said so. She was only trying to protect me.
"Gomen ne." I say quietly to her as I hold her in my arms. Yet mother not understanding tries to take me by the arm, to pull me away.
I understand… I understand, Sara! Good girl, Sara, let's go…" she says. I must go now. Pushing her away I run to the one who matters the most to me. Not caring anymore, for my love for Setsuna would lead me to him.
"Brother wait for me! Don't leave, turn around and look at me like always. That smile … Hold me and do not leave. Hold me in your arms and never let go, for if you do. I'd likely kill you and then myself. For there is no God, no heaven or hell … only that which we make for ourselves." I mean everything that I say, but a portion of me is scared that he will not turn around. That it is too late and once again I have lost him!
Stunned he turns around, his sad expression disappearing and once of delicate happiness comes forward. I go into his arms and he receives me, not pushing me away as deep inside I had feared. Breathing in his scent, I feel myself beginning to cry all over again.
"I don't want anything. God's blessing, church bell tolls, or a white bouquet. I don't want it! I only want brother. Never let me go or else I would kill you and myself!" I say to him as the tears come.
"Let's leave Sara!" he says me to, pressing me against his heart. Feeling as if I am in a dream, a bitter sweet fairy-tale. Mother calling for us to stop. We can't. We must love or die!
I am sorry. I really am selfish. I could have left with mother and let time heal our wounds. Yet I couldn't do that. I am too selfish, wanting this love from this person before me and no other.
"Setsuna!" yells a voice from behind us. Kira-sempai! Yes, he surely would be here to help! Onni-chan catches a small packet thrown to him and an explosion erupts from around us. Some spread through the terminal and we use this opportunity to run away. Together.
We quickly hail down a taxi and we hurriedly both get inside. Setsuna is startled and blushes when I lay my head on his shoulder. Tears still drying on my face but he reaches into his pocket for a handkerchief and wipes them away. His eyes are so gently and his expression so soft, making want to cry even more.
We keep silent on the short ride, still in shock and absorbing all that has happened in so short a time. We pull in front of the station and the driver demands his fare, waiting impatiently as Setsuna gets his money.
The moment I step out, there is a sudden gust of wind. The sky is so clear, not darkened by any clouds. I am beginning to understand its song. 'Hold the one whom you hold so dear to your heart. For this is love and never turn away for there is always hope…'
In this world there is only one who I love. Setsuna. When he looks at me and hold me close to him I can hear his heart beat and he can hear mine. Drowning out everything else, you are the only one that I see. For now you know that my heart beats for you alone. I live for you only.
