Author's Notes: Okay, I know I'm late with this, and I'm sorry. I promised you all an update by July 6, and it's now July 13 (actually, July 14 in five minutes). I'm truly sorry. But I do have a good reason. Not to depress everyone, but just before I left for the Oregon Bach Festival Youth Choral Academy (literally, two days before) I found out that my old swim coach, who I swam for since I was eight, died suddenly in his sleep. He was only 34, in excellent physical shape (he biked over forty miles daily), and not even an autopsy could explain what happened. He hadn't coached me for over three years, having moved to Washington, but we had stayed in constant contact, and I had still dreamed of swimming for him in college. He was the greatest coach I ever had, a dear friend, and an inspiring mentor, and his death shocked me to the core. Unfortunately, like I said, I had to leave for the YCA only two days after I found out, and never really had time to grieve until I got back. So, I apologize, but my mind has been tending to wander a lot lately, so typing has been slow. But I do enjoy writing, because it actually makes me feel better, so I'm not going to abandon any of my stories...just be warned that updates might slow down for a while.
On a happier note, I hope you all like this chapter. It has no action, but it does give Kagome and Inuyasha a chance to have a heart to heart talk about where they stand with each other, something I think they need to do, and haven't done yet (or at least, not in a while). So, this chapter is focused more on the characters themselves then the plot, but I feel it's necessary to get this straightened out between the couple. After all, in the last chapter Inuyasha practically attacked Kagome...so there's going to be a little tension.
And to answer a popular question among all of you, or rather, an observation, I suppose you're right that Sesshoumaru probably shouldn't have been able to pick up tetsusaiga. But I was under the impression that he could touch the sword, it just wouldn't transform for him. Was I mistaken? If I was, my apologies.
Oh, and also, just to let anyone know who has read 'Soul Therapy', I was sent an email asking me to submit one of my stories to this website that gives out awards, and I decided to send in that one. I'll post the website later so you all can check it out, and nominate other stories if you want (I'm not going to insist that you vote for me, because I know there are plenty of good stories out there), because the site is just starting up, and needs support.
I've already started on the next chapter, so the update shouldn't take too long, but just be patient with me, ok? I'll shut up now and get on with it. Enjoy chapter sixteen!

Trunksgirl: I'm so happy to hear from you on this trilogy. I love getting your reviews on the other stories, it's wonderful. I just saw Spiderman 2, and I see what you mean about Dr. Octopus. lol. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for always reviewing, etc. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Raven Webb: Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I'm going to read your story now, and review, of course, but if I'm too late and you've already found another beta-reader, I understand. If not, then once I'm done reading what you have, feel free to send me your story to my email address, which is posted on my profile page. I'll try and fix what you think is confusing, I always appreciate comments like that. And thanks for reviewing!

FrameofMind: I think Kagome forgets sometimes that he still has the rosary, you know? When he was attacking Sukiono, she forgot, but when he attacked her, her first instinct was to sit him. I don't know...just have to do something to keep things interesting, right? lol

Charmed18: Technically, I'm a mezzo-soprano, but if I had to choose between alto and soprano, definitely a soprano. I'm a mezzo that leans toward the soprano side, not the other direction. I'm flattered you thought of me! And thanks for reviewing!
Title: Soldiers in a Timeless Battle

Author: dolphingirl0113

Chapter: Sixteen

Rating: PG-13 (for language and, at times, sexual implications)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
The afternoons were growing colder as autumn slowly turned over into winter, the flowers going into hibernation, the birds less talkative, and the wind giving people more of a chill. Soon, it would be November, and the first snows would arrive. The villagers would be retiring into their huts to stay warm and live off the stores of food they had hunted and harvested throughout the spring, summer and fall, and the women were starting to make thicker garments for their husbands and children. But all that was lost on Kagome, who cared little for how cold her body was, or how she was still wearing a short skirt and thin top...the same outfit she'd worn when she returned to the Feudal Era before Sukiono had captured her. All that mattered was that she didn't go far from Kaede's hut, because within was the man she loved.

She was basically all alone, Kikyou and Gideon having returned to their own village for a while, Kouga and Ayame going to check on their tribe, and Sesshoumaru, Nancy, Rin, and Jaken having gone back, presumably to the demon lord's castle, for a time. The thought caused a slight smile to come to Kagome's face. They were certainly getting along nicely. But even so, her thoughts would always, eventually, come back to the same worry that was slowly eating away at her conscience...would Inuyasha be alright?

Kagome had been sitting inside and outside Kaede's hut for nearly two days, and still Inuyasha slept. She had never seen him so exhausted...so utterly helpless. Was the transformation that occurred so different from before? Yes, a voice in her head replied, because this time he had been protecting his mate. Before, she had not been so close to his demon side as well as the side of him that was human. But now that she wore his mark, his demon blood would not tolerate another man touching her in any way, and that thought frightened her.

"Thank god for the tetsusaiga," she whispered aloud, only realizing she had voiced her thoughts when Sango came to sit beside her.

"What was that, Kagome-chan?"

"What?" Kagome blinked, startled to hear another voice besides her own. "Oh, I was just saying I don't know what Inuyasha would do if he didn't have the tetsusaiga with him every day."

"I know what you mean. His father certainly seemed to understand his son better then we gave him credit for." She turned thoughtful for a moment. "He seemed to understand both his sons better then they understood themselves."

"What do you mean?"

Sango shrugged. "Just that, well, in the beginning Sesshoumaru simply rejected his sword, the tenseiga, and Inuyasha was careless with his sword. Now both brothers understand the importance of their father's gifts."

"I suppose that's true." Kagome looked at her friend more carefully, noting how pale she still looked...how her skin didn't quite seem as healthy as usual. "Sango-chan, are you alright? You've been acting sick lately."

"What, me?" The demon exterminator suddenly seemed nervous. "I'm fine, Kagome, it's just the flu."

"The flu doesn't last for several weeks."

"I haven't been sick for several weeks."

Kagome looked at her friend sharply, almost like a concerned mother. "According to Miroku, your husband, you have. He says you go out every morning and vomit before returning and then refuse to eat anything." She placed a hand on Sango's shoulder comfortingly. "He says you can't keep anything down."

Looking away, the demon exterminator sighed. "I guess I have been sick a lot lately. But it's nothing for you to worry about, Kagome-chan. I'll be alright."

"Sango," She took a deep breath, "It's not just that you're vomiting. Your entire personality has changed. I mean, in the battle with Sukiono, you backed away. You never back down from a fight. So I'll ask you again...what's going on?"

Knowing she was defeated, Sango looked Kagome directly in the eyes. "You won't get upset if I tell you?" Kagome laughed.

"I can't promise that...I don't know what you're going to tell me."

"Oh," She seemed to think for an instant before continuing. "Fine, well, um, there's no easy way to say this...Kagome, I think I'm pregnant."

"Really?" Kagome's face lit up like a lantern at night. "Sango, that's wonderful!"

"It is?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

"I just thought, you know, you'd feel sad or something that I have a baby and, well, you don't any more."

Kagome went silent for an instant, indeed feeling a slight pang at the thought of her lost baby, but then quickly perking up, hugging her friend. "It's alright, Sango. Just because I'm sad about my child doesn't mean I would ever be upset about yours." She squeezed slightly. "In fact, I'm thrilled for both you and Miroku. He'll make a wonderful father, and you'll be a wonderful mother. I just know it."

Sango smiled under the praise. "Thanks, Kagome-chan. That means a lot coming from you."

"So have you told Miroku yet?"

"What? Oh, no, not yet."

"Why not?"

"I guess because I wanted to be sure first."

"And you're sure now?"

"Well, yeah, I'm having all the symptoms."

"Then you should tell him, Sango."

"When?"

Kagome glanced over her shoulder to where Miroku was currently chopping wood, with Shippou's help. Actually, Shippou was just 'supervising' since the wood and the axe was too heavy for him, but it still made him feel good to think he was helping. "Tell him now."

"Now? Oh, Kagome-chan, I don't think I could. Not now, I mean."

"Why not? It's as good a time as any."

"I just...well..." She seemed to think for several seconds before finally nodding her head. "Okay, I'll tell him." And with that, the normally brave demon exterminator went to do something more intimidating then anything else she'd done in her entire life, with Kagome watching, a huge smile on her face.

The couple met up, and Miroku kissed his wife on the cheek before she pulled away and started to tell him something. At first, the monk stood as though stunned, but then, without warning, fell backward, right into the pile of wood he had stacked so carefully. "Miroku!" Sango exclaimed, and all Kagome could do was laugh.

"What's all the commotion?" Kaede asked, coming to the door to see Miroku's feet protruding from a pile of wood."

"Sango's pregnant," Kagome replied pragmatically.

"Is she now?" Kaede's eyes were twinkling, and Kagome had the feeling the old miko had known for a long time.

"Yes, and she just told Miroku."

"Oh, the poor man. I'd better get him some tea." And with that she disappeared back into the hut to make the drink.

Kagome continued to chuckle as she watched Sango help Miroku sit up, patting his cheek firmly to bring him back to reality. He now wore a stupid grin on his face, and his eyes were beaming with pride. Yes, he would make a good father.

So will Inuyasha, a voice, unbidden, added, and Kagome felt her smile fade as she thought about the baby they had lost. There were moments when she forgot, and then later felt guilty when she realized she had. And then there were other times, when she'd see children at the park back home, or pregnant women with their husbands, when Kagome would barely be able to hold back her tears.

What would it have been like to have a baby?

"I would have been too young anyway," she whispered aloud, trying to explain away her inner pain. It was true. She couldn't have managed college, and a possible graduate degree, along with a marriage that spanned two time periods, and still lived to tell about it, but the logic of her mind still didn't make her heart feel any better. The truth was, she wanted to be a mother, more then anything else, and she wanted to be a mother alongside Inuyasha, who would be a father.

An image she had seen many times in her dreams since the miscarriage popped up in her mind, of Inuyasha holding a small child with silver hair and amber eyes...practically a miniature of himself...and how the hanyou's normally sharp gaze would soften as the baby cooed at him and grappled for his hair with tiny, inexperienced fingers. He would say how beautiful his son was, and then smile at Kagome, who would bring him some food and then sit beside him while she nursed the child.

"Oh..." Tears spilled over her cheeks, and Kagome wiped at them fiercely, hoping no one saw. She wanted Sango to be happy about her pregnancy, and not bogged down by the grief of a friend who had been unlucky and lost her own baby.

But you weren't unlucky, the voice in her head reminded. Your baby was stolen from you. "No," she retorted furiously, refusing to give in to the hate that was waiting in the wings, threatening to consume her heart. Sukiono didn't know I was pregnant, she silently reminded herself, and besides, he never meant to hurt me, I'm the one who stepped in front of his attack.

To protect Inuyasha, who would have been killed otherwise.

She couldn't really argue with that one, and so, with a sigh, Kagome put her head in her hands, feeling the usual headache returning whenever her mind was too crowded with problems and worries. There was just no easy answer, or explanation.

"What's wrong with you?" Kagome jolted at the familiar voice, and whirled around on her knees to find Inuyasha standing above her, looking tired, but otherwise okay. He had the usual smirk in place, but his eyes revealed concern, and she leapt to her feet, throwing her arms around his neck in relief.

"You're alright," she whispered as she buried her head in his shoulder, allowing two days worth of tension and worry release from her body like hot steam, feeing his arms come around her waist in response.

"Keh, of course I'm alright, stupid. It's not like a transformation can kill me."

"But Inuyasha, this time, it was..." She trailed off into silence, remembering his red eyes and the look of fury on his face. "This time it was different."

"Not really, I transformed, and you brought me back. That's how it always is." He sounded so pragmatic about it, but Kagome kept remembering how he had slashed and clawed at Sukiono to no end, while the poor man had wailed in pain, begging for mercy.

"But Inuyasha, this time, you didn't hear me."

"I stopped when you sat me, that was enough. That and the fact that you're alright makes me feel better." He hugged her close, but Kagome was remembering how he had leapt at her, claws poised for attack, his fangs sharp and deadly, his eyes red.

She shuddered involuntarily as she spoke. "This time WAS different, Inuyasha."

He let go of her waist and backed away. "Kagome, were you..." He paused and looked at her steadily, "Afraid of me?" He looked hurt at the thought, but even as she tried to assure him she had not been, a part of her knew it was a lie as she remembered him charging at her, only being saved by the rosary beads still around his neck.

"I wasn't afraid for me," she began, "But I was afraid...for you."

"For me?"

"You couldn't hear me, Inuyasha. You," she lowered her eyes, "You tried to attack me."

"Kagome, I would never hurt you-"

"I know," she looked away. "But that wasn't you, in that moment. Or, at least, it wasn't a part of you that I understand...that loves me."

He looked confused, and backed away some more. "My demon side recognizes you as my mate, Kagome. That's why I transformed in the first place. We..." He blushed, "We both wanted the same thing: to hurt Sukiono for kidnapping you in the first place."

"But your demon side would have killed him in cold blood, and then come after the rest of us, your friends," Kagome countered.

"You would have stopped me."

She was getting angry, feeling like he was pretending none of it was a big deal. "And what about next time, Inuyasha?" She stepped back and made a wide gesture with her arms. "What about next time, when I'm not there, and you transform? What about when there is no one who can stop you?"

Now he was clearly getting angry, because he stomped past her and started pacing, gesturing madly. "What do you want from me, Kagome? You said you could love me...all of me. Was that a lie?"

"No, Inuyasha..." She was starting to feel very tired...of everything. Tired of Sukiono, who was like a boy one instant, and a cruel, calculating man the next. Tired of grieving for the loss of a baby she hadn't even known she had. Tired of juggling two lives on either side of the well, and having had to do that for almost four years. And, more then anything, she was tired of feeling like, even after everything they'd been through, Inuyasha still didn't trust her.

"Then answer my question, Kagome. What do you want from me?"

He was pushing her again, pushing her like he always did. Why was he doing this? Why now, after she had worried and fretted herself silly while he was asleep on Kaede's floor, a cool cloth on his forehead and soothing steam from the fire surrounding him in the air, was he making her feel like SHE had, once again, done something wrong?

"I want to feel valued, Inuyasha," She burst out, tears welling up in her eyes, her voice constricted by some inner pain. He blinked and stared at her for several seconds before responding.

"What do you mean, valued? Why would you think you're not? If you weren't valued, would I have come after you when Sukiono kidnapped you and Kikyou? Would I have defended you from Naraku all those times throughout all those three years? Would I have kept you safe and warm?" His voice was rising higher and higher with every inflection, which only made her tears come faster and hotter. "Tell me, Kagome...if I didn't value you, would I have married you? Would I have marked you as my mate?"

She was shaking her head now, her body wracked with sobs. Why were they fighting again? Why did they always have to fight? "It's a different kind of value, Inuyasha. The kind you speak of is the kind of value one feels toward a piece of property. The kind of value I want is the kind that makes me feel needed...the kind that makes me feel like you...trust me..."

"I trust you, Kagome," He was pleading with her now, trying to get her to stop crying. She could hear it in his voice. He always did hate it when she started crying.

But she shook her head. "No you don't, at least not enough that you feel like you don't have to be with me every waking minute so that I don't run off with some other man, or fall in love with someone else. You still don't trust me when I say I love you completely, and that I will never leave you."

"Yes I do..."

"No, Inuyasha, you don't. Just look at the way you act whenever Hojo's around...how you treated him the first time you met him at my prom, even as I was on your arm and wearing your engagement ring and bearing your mark on my neck. It wasn't enough. You still had to 'protect what was yours'."

Now the hanyou just looked confused, and he dropped his arms in defeat, trying to understand what Kagome was saying. "What's so wrong about me defending you, Kagome? Why don't you want me to protect you, and keep you safe?"

"I do want you to keep me safe, Inuyasha. I love the blanket of security that falls over my shoulders whenever you're around."

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Because the demon in you that appeared before Sukiono was not defending his mate from danger...he was defending his territory...protecting his property." She tried to soften her voice, touching his shoulder lightly. "You felt threatened that he wanted to take me away from you again, not because I would be in danger, but because he is interested in me as, well, what your demon side considers a mate. And you, deep down, are still insecure about my feelings for you, which is why your demon blood was so powerful...you were both in agreement for once...you were both afraid of losing me, not to death, but to another man."

He was staring at the ground, as though he were no more then a child being berated for doing something wrong. When he looked up, she could still see irritation, as was always present when she lectured him and made him feel stupid, but she also saw a trace of guilt, and more then that, sorrow...the familiar deep sorrow that told her he was remembering a time and place that didn't involve her, a time when he had put his trust in someone, and then been betrayed. He was thinking of Kikyou.

Taking a deep breath and fighting back the familiar hint of irritation at the thought, Kagome somehow managed to finally stop her tears and steady her racing heart and quivering body. "I love you, Inuyasha, more then anything else in this world. I would give my life for you, as I think I've proven many times." She thought about her lost baby, and sighed. "It was worth the miscarriage to know that you are still alive. Of course I grieve for the baby, but if I had lost you...I could not have gone on living." She stepped away and met his gaze. "But I can only tell you that so many times before you'll believe me, and trust me, as you once trusted Kikyou."

Hearing the miko's name caused his body to stiffen, telling Kagome she had been correct to assume he had been thinking about his former lover. "You're still jealous of her," he pointed out, clearly trying to gain the upper hand in the conversation. "So you have no right to lecture me about trust."

Kagome clenched her fists momentarily and bit her tongue to prevent the acidic words currently at the back of her throat from pouring out of her mouth and turning into something she would regret. "Jealous? No, Inuyasha, I'm not jealous of Kikyou any more. I know where I stand in your heart, and I trust that you will be faithful to me." She looked away, towards the woods and in the direction of the village where Kikyou and Gideon had returned for a few days of peace. "But I do regret that she had your trust, and I still do not. I regret that it was with her that you were betrayed, and now, with me, you are still unsure of my love." She sighed. "And I regret that you respected her, even admired her, as a woman, a priestess, and a human being, whereas with me you do not."

"Kagome..." She put up her hand for silence.

"No, Inuyasha, I know what you're going to say. You're going to assure me that I'm wrong, that you do trust me, and love me, and respect me. And," she blinked back more tears, "I believe in your love. But the rest...well..." She trailed off into silence, biting her lower lip.

He had returned to looking confused. "Why are you speaking of this now, after almost four years? Why now, after everything we've been through? After becoming my mate, my wife, and my soul mate?"

The tears began rolling down her cheeks again in earnest, and Kagome fiercely wiped them away. She knew what she was saying was cruel, that he was hurting inside to hear her speak of him so. She knew he was wonderful to her, that he would give his life for her, and that he loved her so passionately he became a monster when he feared she would be taken from him. But his last transformation had shown her something...something she had thought long gone. It had shown her that he had still not moved beyond his inability to trust and have faith that she would not leave him, and now she just couldn't let it drop.

"I didn't notice it before, Inuyasha. I thought you had moved past all the trouble you had in the beginning with trusting me. And, I know that you trust me to never betray you. But yet, you still fear that I will leave you. You still fear that one day I will wake up, see you beside me, and feel nothing but disgust because I am married to a hanyou. When you attacked Sukiono, it was in a jealous rage, nothing more. Your human side feared abandonment, and your demon blood felt it necessary to keep the unwanted male away from your female."

"Of course I wanted to keep him away from you!" Inuyasha exploded. "Kagome, I was protecting you, like I always do. I didn't want him to take you away, or hurt you again, like he did before."

"But Inuyasha, it wasn't until he demanded that I go with him that you began to transform. And your rage was so great, that not even the tetsusaiga could restrain you. You were so afraid that I would comply with his wishes, you let your demon traits take over without even so much as a fight."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Kagome!" He exploded suddenly, stunning her momentarily. "I know you love me, and that you'll never leave me. You've proven that to me many times, most especially when you promised to stay by my side even after you believed I had chosen another."

She stared at him, hard, her eyes trying to read what was going on inside his head. "Then what is it, Inuyasha? Tell me, so I can understand, please. Don't shut me out."

"I'm afraid when it comes to Sukiono. I'm afraid that..." He looked away, clearly not wanting to say it, but she touched his shoulder lightly, smiling at him, trying to tell him it was alright, that he could tell her anything and she wouldn't be angry.

"Inuyasha, please..." That broke the dam, because when he looked back up, she saw raw, innocent, naïve fear and uncertainty as words began to tumble out of his mouth.

"It's the same fear I had with Kouga, and Hojo. They both treat you so well, like you're an angel. I know how much Hojo would visit you when you were supposedly sick, and how, even after you chose me, he tried to be my friend just so he could stay close to you, proving how much you meant to him. And I know how Kouga has told you he will love you forever, even though he is now Ayame's mate, and how he continues to come back and protect you even though you are not his. And I can even see that kind of awe and wonder in Sukiono's eyes whenever he comes for you. He wants you with him because, in some strange, deranged way, he loves you, and can't imagine you not at his side. All three have told you how they admire your ability to fight, and stood in awe of your kind heart and forgiving soul.

"But I..." He clenched his fists. "I call you names, yell at you, fight with you, and at times, turn into a monster that can't be controlled and who, this last time, tried to attack you. I compared you to a dead woman for almost three years, long after I could see the difference, simply because I was afraid of my own feelings, and afraid to love you, and afraid to be rejected. I was a coward, and because of my cowardice, I put you through so much pain I can't stand it. It killed me, Kagome, to hear your friends during that trial, talking about all the times you would come home crying because of me. And, well, I guess it was during the trial, when I really got to know your other friends and see how you were treated by other men, and as I watched Kouga stand by you, faithfully, even as he was bound to another woman, that I started to lose it. And then Sukiono came along, and it sent me over the edge, and I became afraid. Not because I feared you would hate being married to a hanyou, but because some day you would realize you deserved better treatment then the kind you get from me: possessive, stupid, arrogant, and, at times, downright cruel."

He took her hands in his. "I love you, Kagome, so much it scares me. If I were to lose you, I couldn't go on living, I know that for a fact. But I so often bumble along, because I'm in territory I don't understand. Show me an enemy and I'll kill him. Give me a battle and I'll tell you how to win. Cast me into the wilderness alone, and I'll survive. But put me with you, and have my heart tied up in knots, and I'm suddenly lost and confused, and desperately clinging to you for guidance."

He pulled her close to him, her head on his shoulder, one of his hands stroking her hair gently as he whispered in her ear. "For so long, my life was filled with pain and loneliness. With Kikyou, I saw a few rays of light, but with you, I feel the entire sun on my face, and I don't want to lose that." He squeezed her tightly. "That's what I'm afraid of, Kagome. That's what I doubt."

Silence like none other she had ever known spread between them, and as Kagome rested her head on his strong, secure shoulder, she didn't know what to think. Never, in all the years she'd known him, had he been so open and honest, so...human. How could she respond to that? What could she possibly say with words that would do justice to what she was feeling in her heart?

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she pulled back, cupped his face with her hands, and smiled. "Oh, Inuyasha..." She leaned forward and kissed him, gently at first, but then fiercely, as though he would vanish if she didn't hold onto him tightly. "My beautiful, beautiful, Inuyasha," she mumbled as he covered her cheeks, throat, and forehead with feather light kisses. Scooping her up into his arms, he carried her into the hut while she continued to cling to him with all her strength, ignoring Kaede and passing into the next room. Finally, they both felt, they had come to an understanding. Finally, after nearly four years of pain, joy, uncertainty, and love, they understood one another.