Author's Notes: Hello, everyone! I think I'm starting to get back into my old pattern of writing and posting chapters, don't you agree? I know I'm still a little slow, but I appreciate you all being patient. I'm doing better, for those of you who asked, though I'm not great. As the last chapter showed, I've been in a very reflective mood lately, which I think is somewhat evident again in this chapter, but we'll get back to the action again soon, like in the next few chapters, so just hang in there!
Chapter seventeen doesn't have any fluff, or action, but it does deal with how Kagome's feeling right now in regards to school and continuing to live in both worlds on either side of the well. I think this is an issue that isn't dealt with enough in the anime, because Kagome always seems perfectly happy to return to her time and go to school, when in truth I personally think that she might, over time, get tired of living the double life. So this is my version of how she views her life at the moment.
Thanks for all your beautiful reviews...I'm shocked at how popular the last chapter was. I mean, I knew it was pretty heavy and full of emotion, but I figured you guys would get bored with that sort of thing. So thank you, with all my heart! And now, on to the next chapter! Enjoy!
Nikoru-the-silent-assassin: That was just about the most meaningful thing I have ever heard in regards to my writing. And at a time like this, when I'm in doubt about a lot of things, it meant a lot to me. I do intend to write novels when I get older...about what, I don't know yet. But I can assure you I will remember what you said. Thank you, and thanks for always reviewing. I appreciate it.
Lunar Inuyasha: Road trip, eh? Where are you going? Anywhere fun? Must be worth it if you'll be gone for a month. Hopefully I'll have one more update after this before you leave. Thanks for reviewing!
Charmed18: Somehow I thought I answered that already...hmm...maybe not. Sorry about that. Of course you can use Sukiono for a name. I'll be sure to read the story too! Thanks for reviewing!
Inuyashasgirl4life: I'll get to your story when I can, I promise, but I'm busy, so it might not be for a couple of days. Thanks for reviewing!
Trunksgirl: Hey, don't worry about it, I've never had a boyfriend either, although I'm definitely on the lookout for one. But the way I see it, I have a lot of friends who date guys just to say they have boyfriends, and I don't want to be that way, so if that means I have to wait a few extra years before I find the right guy, then so be it. I know it can get lonely at times, trust me, it makes me feel lonely just writing stuff like in this story (we should all have an Inuyasha, eh?) but at the same time it also gets me excited to think about what it will be like when I finally do meet that great guy. So that's my lecture for today on "relationships". lol. Thanks so much for always reviewing!
FrameofMind: I'll have to listen to that song sometime. And you're right, in the beginning it was a little confusing what Kagome meant. Even I was having a hard time understanding what she was saying, or what I mean is, I knew what I WANTED her to say, but I couldn't quite figure out how to put it into words, if that makes any sense. So I had to sort of write my way into it. But it looks like it worked! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, I love hearing from you.
Ryguy5387: Thanks for the info on Sesshoumaru, I wasn't sure, and you're right, it only makes the incident that much better. By the way, have I ever told you thanks for always reviewing? I love hearing from you...you're one of the reviewers I look for every chapter. So thanks a lot!
Shakita45: Okay, I'll answer your questions one at a time. 1: I came up with the idea for 'Confessions of a Broken Heart' because my dad's an obstetrician/gynecologist (baby doctor) and he saw a girl my age once who was raped and as a result got pregnant. Because I was trying to come up with an idea for another Inuyasha story, it occurred to me to have Kagome go through a similar conflict. No, she wasn't pregnant because of the rape, but at the same time it was a horrific experience for her, and she had to learn and grow after words. 2: As far as coming up with the words for Inuyasha to say, lets just say I thought about what I'd like a guy to say in response to me, if I were in Kagome's place. I'm a hopeless romantic, so it wasn't too hard to come up with something fluffy, but still emotional. I hope that answers your questions, and thanks for reviewing!
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Title: Soldiers in a Timeless Battle
Author: dolphingirl0113
Chapter: Seventeen
Rating: PG-13 (for language and, at times, sexual implications)
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
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Shivering slightly, Kagome huddled closer into her blue turtleneck sweater, glad she'd decided to wear khaki pants, instead of the short skirt she had almost snatched from her closet on her way out the door. Go figure her history class was in one of the old buildings of the campus, with a heating system that didn't work properly since the new technology didn't seem to jive with the 100-plus year old structure. It wasn't freezing, but it was still cold enough to make Kagome turn a wanton eye in the direction of the student center, which was just across the lawn, where she knew the heating worked like it should.
Turning back to face the teacher, she sighed and sank further into the seat at her desk, resisting the urge to start tapping her pencil against her textbook, which was opened to a page she had no care to read at that particular moment.
Why had she insisted on coming back to school? Why had she insisted on leaving the man she loved behind to return to a world full of teachers, lectures, and homework? Or, better yet, why had she promised her mother in the first place she would go to college? Surely, if they'd talked it over, Mrs. Higurashi would have relented and allowed her daughter to marry Inuyasha without such terms...right?
"Higurashi, what do you think?"
"What?" Her stomach went cold as she looked up at the teacher, an elderly woman with graying hair pulled back into a tight bun at the base of her neck, dressed in a perfectly pressed navy blue skirt and white blouse. She was actually a good teacher when it came to history, even though she didn't look it, but she was also harsh if she discovered a student hadn't been paying attention, and at the moment Kagome just wanted to sink to the floor and crawl out the door.
But this time, for some reason, her teacher just smiled in understanding. "Would you mind telling us what you think regarding the murder of Julius Caesar? Was it wise, or was it too cruel and hasty on the part of the conspirators?"
Kagome sighed in relief, knowing this was a particular moment in history she knew a lot about. She loved studying ancient Roman, Greek, and Egyptian history. "Julius Caesar desired to be emperor, and the people of Rome loved him enough that he would have achieved that status if he had been allowed to live. The senators acted as they thought they must to preserve their republic."
"So you agree with what they did?"
"I don't agree with murder, I never would, but at the same time, I do understand where they were coming from, and how they saw that was the only way to stop Julius Caesar from getting what he wanted."
The teacher smiled and raised an eyebrow. "I sense a 'but' coming."
Kagome nodded. "But I do find it ironic that after Caesar died, his nephew, who was named as his heir, would become emperor and carry the name of his uncle, which would come to be a name that meant King in many different countries, such as with the Russians, and the Tsar."
Again the teacher smiled and nodded her approval. "Well done, Kagome, well done. You've clearly done your research." She turned to the rest of the class. "Now, who can tell me what the battle was called where Marc Antony fought the conspirators to avenge Caesar?"
Kagome sighed, glad she had escaped without a wound from that mess, and tuned out the talking once more, counting the seconds until the bell would ring and she would be allowed out of that room and back home for the week. It was Friday, after all, and she hadn't seen Inuyasha in almost five days, another decision she questioned. Why had she told him to just stay in his time while she was gone again? Something about continuing to recuperate...
Her thoughts were interrupted as the bell blared over the speakers, and Kagome leapt to her feet and out the door, hastily throwing her bag over her shoulder, not bothering to respond to the 'hellos' sent in her direction from other classmates.
The city was alive and bustling, as it should be on a Friday afternoon, and Kagome found it difficult to walk quickly down the crowded streets, seeming to hit every red light, having to wait to cross a street. Normally, she would have caught the bus back to the shrine and avoided all the mess, but today she was meeting Nancy at her office, and as such had to venture into some of the busiest sections of the city.
About the time she figured she couldn't walk any further, she spotted the large building where the firm was located. Shifting her bag on her back, she walked through the revolving glass doors and into the lobby of the building, where several secretaries were answering questions for other visitors. The building did, after all, house not only Nancy's firm on the fifteenth floor, but two restaurants, and five other businesses.
Kagome received strange looks as she stepped into the polished marble elevator, surrounded by several working men and women dressed in business suits almost identical to the kind Nancy always wore, their hair done up perfectly, briefcases in their hands. It made Kagome feel extremely self- conscious in her own casual outfit, her old, worn out and dirty yellow backpack slung over her shoulder, and she couldn't wait for the elevator to let her off at the desired floor.
Walking straight past Nancy's secretary, Kagome stepped into the large office, where she found the blonde lawyer at her desk, pouring over something in a folder. She heard Kagome's footsteps however, and looked up from what she was doing with a smile, motioning to the seat opposite her on the other side of the desk. "Have a seat, Kagome; I shouldn't be more then ten more minutes, tops."
"Sure," Kagome dropped her bag on the ground with a thud and sighed as she sank into the leather chair. She remembered the first time she'd sat there, with Inuyasha at her side dressed in khakis and a shirt, wearing one of his many baseball caps to hide his ears. She'd been so nervous then, about the trial, and Ted Wilkins. How things had changed.
"How was school?" Nancy asked, somehow managing to sound like an inquiring friend and not a mother.
Kagome just shrugged. "It was school. I mean, it's still boring for the most part, with nothing to do but read and take lecture notes." She sighed, thinking about something that had been on her mind ever since she'd come back home. "I don't know. I used to want a college degree more then anything, but now, well..."
"You have something, or should I say, someone, else on your mind?"
"Yeah, is that so wrong?"
Nancy sat back, closing the folder and setting it on top of several others that formed an impressive pile of paperwork. "Honestly, if you'd said that when I first met you, I would have said yes. I would have insisted that you continue with college, because you have the intelligence to make something of yourself and make a difference in this world. But now..." It was her turn to shrug. "Now that I know Sesshoumaru, and I've been to his castle and seen how he lives, and I've helped you fight off Sukiono, well, this," She gestured at her office, "Doesn't seem so important any more."
Kagome nodded. "I know what you mean. The first time I came home after fighting with Naraku, I felt different. I'd watch my school friends go about their lives without a care in the world, other then who was dating who, and I'd feel out of place. I knew it was because I'd seen things they could only dream of in nightmares, but still...it wasn't easy." She stood up and walked over to the window, turning to look at Nancy as she did so, trying to smile as she spoke. "And it only gets harder, trust me, unfortunately..."
Nancy stared at her desk for a time in silence while Kagome gazed out the large window at the tops of the buildings that made up the city of Tokyo, the sky overcast and looking like it would rain at any moment. Finally the blonde seemed to come out of her trance, standing up and reaching for her briefcase. "Well, that's all water under the bridge now...I made my choice when I asked to come with Sesshoumaru back to his time. And I don't regret it." She smiled at Kagome. "Come on, I'll give you a ride back to the shrine."
Both women were silent in the car for a while before Kagome thought of something that had been bothering her, and decided to ask. "Nancy, what do you tell your coworkers when you're gone like this for weeks at a time?"
"What? Oh," She adopted a sly smile, "I tell them I'm dating an American, and that we're getting very serious, and that I fly over to see him as often as I can."
"And they allow that?"
She shrugged. "So long as I keep up on my paperwork and don't miss any of my court dates, they don't give me a hard time. I'm one of the best attorney's that firm's got, and they know it, too. They wouldn't dream of firing me."
Kagome laughed at the woman's unusual amount of confidence, even now still amazed by it. It could almost have come across as arrogance, but not with Nancy White. With her, it was just, well...natural.
"I may quit though," She said suddenly, and Kagome blinked in surprise.
"What?"
"I may decide to quit, in the end."
"Why? I thought you loved your job."
"I did...I still do...it's just that, well, my mind wanders a lot now when I'm at work. It wanders back to Sesshoumaru, and what he's doing, and wanting to be back with him in the Feudal Era. It's kind of like you with your friends. I have the occasional case, like yours was, which makes me feel good about what I do, but most of the time I just have to deal with divorces and such, listening to couples argue over the stupidest things. It's like what you said: after seeing battle and other harsh realities, the rest of it doesn't seem so important any more."
Kagome nodded, still surprised, but understanding where Nancy was coming from. It was like what the soldiers would say after coming home from war. It didn't matter if they were victorious or not, they never went back to being the same people they once were. It seemed like, after a person had seen death and destruction and cruelty, the real world wasn't a place where they belonged any more.
The shrine came into view, and Nancy pulled around back and into the unseen driveway. Kagome hopped out of the small vehicle and sprinted into the house, quickly unloading her backpack of schoolbooks and replacing them with medical supplies, several clean outfits, some ramen for Inuyasha, and a few surprise treats for Shippou and Rin. Nancy waited patiently in the kitchen, exchanging a few words with Mrs. Higurashi.
"I'm ready," she finally said, appearing with her enlarged backpack over her shoulders. Nancy had changed as well, into black sweatpants and a white sweatshirt, and they turned to head for the well.
"Kagome Higurashi, were you going to leave without giving me a hug first?"
"Sorry mama," Kagome turned and wrapped her arms around the older woman affectionately, holding her close for several seconds in silence before pulling away. "I'll be back as soon as I can, but I don't know when that will be."
"Just be safe," Mrs. Higurashi instructed, feeling the usual bundle of nerves in her gut at seeing her only daughter disappear out the door and into a place where anything could happen. The woman's only consolation was that her daughter had a husband like Inuyasha to keep her safe.
The weather was nicer on the other side of the well. It was still cold, but the sun was out, and all told it was a beautiful day. But it was unusually quiet. Normally, Inuyasha could smell when she had returned, and by now would be shouting hellos, followed closely by Shippou.
"No Inuyasha today?"
Kagome smiled at the way Nancy seemed to read her thoughts exactly. "No, I'm not sure where he is. So I guess that means we'll just have to walk back."
Nancy snapped her fingers in mock disappointment. "Damn, and I was hoping for a piggyback ride."
"You have your own demon lord to give you piggyback rides."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'll refuse one from your man when offered." Both women chuckled and headed in the direction of Kaede's village. But even once they reached the old miko's hut, it was extremely quiet.
"Lady Kaede?" Kagome walked into the hut to find the miko mixing something in a pot over her hearth fire. Her old face lit up into a smile as she saw the girl enter.
"Ah, my child, you have returned. I was beginning to wonder if something exciting had captured your attention on the other side of the well."
Kagome rolled her eyes and sat down on her knees. "I wish that were the case. Unfortunately, I just have school as the excuse this time." She glanced into both back rooms, noting that they were empty. "Where are Inuyasha and the others?"
"There were reports of a demon terrorizing a village nearby. They went to tend to it."
"All of them?"
Kaede chuckled. "Well, Inuyasha went because he loves flashing his sword about, Miroku went because he likes to feel important, Sango went to make sure her husband didn't do anything lecherous with the ladies, and Shippou went along so that he wouldn't feel left behind." The miko acquired a thoughtful look. "The boy's actually getting so that he can actually make a difference now. He's grown so much."
Kagome nodded and beamed with pleasure, just like a proud mother. "I know, he's becoming a handsome young man already. I have a feeling he'll break many hearts before he finally settles down." She sighed. "I can't believe there are still demons, even now that the Shikon no Tama is gone."
Kaede just chuckled as Nancy stepped into the hut and sat beside Kagome. "There will always be people to fight, child. Demons terrorized our homes long before my sister came to possess the Shikon no Tama, and they will continue to terrorize us now."
"I suppose that's true." Kagome's face brightened. "But on the bright side, at least now they're not super demons with shards in their necks or anything." They both had a good laugh at that, while Nancy just looked lost, clearly not getting the joke. "So when should they be back Kaede?"
The old woman shrugged. "Oh, I don't know, probably today, since they've been gone for three now. The village wasn't too far away, but it wasn't close enough that they could make it there and back in one day, even if the demon could be killed with just one stroke of the tetsusaiga, and it could have been stronger then that."
Kagome nodded. "Fair enough. Is there anything you need me to do in the meantime?"
"Yes, you could fetch me some water, if you don't mind."
"Of course," Kagome stood back up and collected the bucket for water, stepping outside the hut and heading for the stream nearby.
It was silent in the forest, giving Kagome a chance to get lost in her thoughts, which wandered first to Inuyasha, and then to the demon he was off fighting, and then to what Kaede had said. There will always be someone to fight, child. The thought was exhausting, but at the same time, true. Naraku had barely been dead and she had to go face her rapist in a different kind of battle in the court room. And once Ted Wilkins was behind bars, Sukiono had appeared. She couldn't help but wonder who would come next.
The stream came into view, and she smiled mischievously, deciding she wouldn't mind a swim in the cold water to wake her up a little before Inuyasha got back. And so, stepping out of her clothes and laying them out in the grass, she waded into the stream which was actually warmer then she had expected, though still cold enough to cause her to catch her breath, the current pushing her hair out behind her as she leaned her head back.
She thought about the conversation she and Inuyasha had before she returned to her time almost a week ago. His confession still made her feel warm inside, knowing that he trusted her, but at the same time was afraid because he didn't treat her with enough respect and care.
After words, when she'd woken up the next morning, before telling him she had to return to her time for a while she had assured him that the reason she loved him was because of how he treated her. She didn't need to be treated like an angel to know she was loved; in fact, the way Kouga and Hojo acted around her was stifling. Inuyasha could be gruff, it was true, but that made the moments when he was gentle and tender all that much more special, and she wouldn't have him change for anything.
Reaching her arms up over her head, Kagome relished in the feeling of the cold water washing over her arms, loving the feel of it through her hair, almost seeming to wash away all her worries and problems from her time. Here, homework didn't matter. Getting that paper in on time wasn't an issue. And no one cared if she forgot to study on any particular evening.
More and more, Kagome thought of the Feudal Era as her home. She used to love the bustling city of Tokyo, and going to school with her friends, shopping on weekends and going to movies. But now that she'd experienced the peace and quiet of the past, it was getting harder and harder to go back through the well. In fact, the only reason she kept returning was because of her mother, brother, and grandfather. The rest of it just didn't seem to matter any more. It was like what she and Nancy had talked about earlier that day...once you'd been in a battle with demons, seen whole villages slaughtered for the sake of a jewel, and been in life or death situations yourself, the rest of it seemed silly and pointless.
Feeling her body shiver, Kagome decided it was time to get out of the water, and waded back onto the grass, lying out, completely naked, to dry in the sun. That was another thing she loved about this era...there weren't as many people, and she could lie out in the sun, completely exposed, and not worry about someone spying. Unless, of course, Miroku was around.
Closing her eyes, Kagome tried to remember what she had been like before she'd fallen down the well. She tried to remember what it had felt like to be a normal teenage girl going to high school, hanging out with friends, and having crushes on boys. But so much had happened since then, it was impossible. She remembered doing silly things and enjoying them, like passing notes to Hojo in class, flirting with him in the halls, and then gossiping with her friends. But she couldn't remember feeling normal.
"Has it really only been four years?" She asked aloud, feeling like she'd known Inuyasha and the others her whole life, and not quite sure how she'd lived before meeting him.
Perhaps, she thought, if she talked with her mother, and told her how she was really feeling, Mrs. Higurashi would let her just drop out of school and live in the Feudal Era, with Inuyasha, full time. After all, Kagome knew her mother wouldn't want her daughter to be unhappy, which was exactly how she felt every time she went to school any more.
Finally, after what felt like about a half an hour, Kagome stood up and got dressed once more, filling the bucket with water and heading back toward the village. But halfway there, she stopped, feeling eyes upon her, and turned around to find...nothing. Still feeling uneasy, she turned back towards the hut and kept walking, but heard footsteps behind her, and stopped again, this time turning around quickly, fast enough to see something move behind one of the trees.
"Who's there?" She called out warily, prepared to defend herself, even though she had no arrows. After all, that bucket full of water, swung at someone's head, could do some damage.
"Kagome?" The voice was male, soft, and nervous, but she recognized it immediately, and tensed up even more. Sukiono...
