Rodney McKay was getting a little frustrated.
Screw that.
McKay was getting extremely, genuinely frustrated.
Screw that, too.
McKay was getting ready to throw the scroll he was reading across the room.
He was very appreciative of Carson having shown him the secret little library - especially since the doctor had paled visibly coming through the hallway. McKay had insisted on walking him back to the elevator.
That was 12 hours ago, and McKay hadn't left the library since.
The first thing he had done was to inspect the chair sitting in the middle of the room. It was very much similar to the one at the Antarctica outpost, except that this one appeared to be almost like an electronic catalogue system. The moment Rodney had sat down in it, wondering if anything in the room could help them with their bug problem, the chair had hummed to life, and little lights had gone on all over the room - which was about the size of the jumper bay, and filled floor to ceiling with books, scrolls, and various other forms of information.
It had taken Rodney a few seconds to realize that the little lights marked places where information about the bug was. Thankfully, after a few panicked minutes, he also realized that there was also a little pad nearby the chair, which translated everything into plain old Canadian English (which McKay had realized the first time he saw the word colour spelled 'our' instead of 'or'), because it seemed like everything was written in a different language, and none of the languages resembled anything even close to English. McKay had been very optimistic about solving the bug problem by lunchtime, which was saying something, since McKay was not generally an optimistic person (as Beckett liked to remind him every time something happened.)
Unfortunately, even with the automatic translating device, McKay had pretty much learned nothing from the library so far. Most of the bug information consisted of passing glances, nothing useful about how to get the damn thing off, or even what it was.
With a sigh, McKay stood up to put the current scroll back. Suddenly, he made a grab for the chair, as the world started to spin. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and McKay knew it was his blood sugar, getting dangerously low. He knew he should leave, get something to eat, but everytime he tried, a little voice inside his head insisted that the next try might get him some real information, he could eat after that.
Granted, that voice had been going on for about 4 hours now, and nothing had come of it. Still...
McKay grabbed another scroll, and sat back down, stopping for a moment to massage his sore eyes. He had to find something soon. He knew the apparition of Perna probably had something to do with the bug, but he couldn't figure out what. And he had no idea why he was figuring into these things. At least his ghostly double appeared to be a good guy.
Even as a ghost, you care for the guy.
McKay gave his head a sharp shake. Care for the guy? Where had that come from? Even if he was that type of person, McKay reasoned to himself, he certainly wouldn't go for Carson.
Wouldn't you?
McKay gave his head another little shake, trying to ignore the irritatingly persistant little voice in the back of his head, then unwound the scroll, and ran the translating pad over, downloading the text. The pad began translating, and McKay sat back for a moment. He found himself wondering how Beckett was doing, whether the doctor was okay. Of course, at that thought, the little voice started again.
Oh, yeah, now you wonder, after you give him Pandora's Box.
McKay sighed, checking the translating pad. It wasn't done processing yet, so McKay was left to argue with the voice.
I didn't know the stupid thing would attack him.
Then why didn't you open it yourself?
I thought he might want something to do, to keep his mind off of Hoff.
Aww....how sweet.
I didn't know it would hurt him. I never wanted this to happen.
McKay sighed again, blinking back tears. He knew that this whole thing wasn't his fault, just like he knew Beckett knew Hoff wasn't his fault. It was just damn hard to get over it when that little voice refused to give up the blame. He certainly didn't want Beckett to die. The doctor was one of McKay's few friends in this godforsaken city, one of the few people he didn't suspect of laughing at him behind his back - and one of the few people that wouldn't let McKay give in to his own paranoia.
See? You care about him.
Letting out a small growl of frustration, McKay checked the translator pad again. Damn thing was taking its sweet time on this scroll. McKay put it back down once again, and retackled the little voice.
I'm not that type of guy.
Maybe you just haven't thought about it.
No...
McKay felt the tears well up again. This was all just way too confusing, and really not well-timed. Not to mention a little scary. How was he supposed to face Beckett feeling like this? Not of course, that he felt anything. Beckett was a good friend and all, but...
Damn.
McKay drew his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs, and buried his face in the space between. He hated to admit that the little voice was right, but maybe...just maybe...
A loud beep echoed through the room, causing McKay to jump. He had forgotten that the translating pod beeped when it was done its job. Thankful for the distraction from his own thoughts, McKay picked up the pad, and started to read. It appeared to be a geological survey of another planet. McKay was about to put the pad down, grab another scroll, when a sentence caught his eyes. 'The being fashioned itself into a small creature, burying itself into Anthara's spinal cord."
Heart pounding, McKay read through the rest of the pad. Still nothing on how to get the thing off, but what he did have...
...the apparitions...
...Perna...
...it all made sense.
McKay jumped to his feet, wondering if Beckett would still be at the infirmary. The world started spinning again, and McKay fell back to the ground. This was bad. McKay sat for a moment, as black clouds began to swim across his vision. This was very bad.
McKay fumbled in his vest, his hand feeling heavy, finally pulling out his radio. It took a couple of times for him to summon the strength to hit the transmit button.
"McKay to infirmary. Beckett, get your ass down-"
