Love Hina – Separation

Fanfic by Steven Biggs

Chapter Two – Divide and Conquer

Saturday Morning.

All six Keitaros stand in the room looking at each other with the same expression of disbelief. One of them kneels down and helps Naru to her feet.

"Are you okay, Narusegawa?"

She rubs her head and looks around.

"What. . . which of you is the real Keitaro?"

They all answer.

"I'm the real Keitaro."

Motoko shakes her head.

"That is most unlikely. I shall determine who the true Urashima is and who are the copies."

She moves to each one and briefly places her hand first on his forehead and then his chest. When she finishes, she steps backward and grabs the hilt of her sword to steady herself.

"Impossible! They ALL are the real Urashima! Su, how long will they be like this?"

"No idea. I used full power with Mister GUNG-HO. This could last a week, or forever."

Footsteps sound near the door and everyone turns. Mutsumi, with Tama-chan resting on her head, looks inside the room.

"Where is everybody? Oh my, you're in here with Urashima-kun. And Urashima-kun, and Urashima-kun, and Urashima-kun, and Urashima-kun, and Urashima-kun. Oh my!"

"Mew?"

Naru looks at the Keitaros.

"Uh, Keitaro."

Six voices answer.

"Yes, Narusegawa?"

Su jumps up and down.

"Wow! Full Dolby-THX surround sound!"

Naru rubs her eyes and shakes her head. She points at one of them.

"Keitaro, what are we going to do with all of you now?"

"I don't know, but we all can't keep answering when one of you calls us."

Shinobu claps her hands.

"I know, wait here and I'll be right back!"

She runs down the hallway. After a minute, she returns carrying a handful of colorful ribbons. She hesitates for a moment and then pins one ribbon on each Keitaro. She steps back and smiles.

"There! Each ribbon has a number, so now we can tell you apart."

Kitsune touches her chin.

"That's a good idea, but we can't call them number one, number two, and so on."

Naru raises her hand.

"I'll make a suggestion. Based upon the numbers, let's call each by a different variation of his name. The one that received number one will answer to Keitaro."

Motoko looks at number two.

"You shall respond to Urashima."

Shinobu grabs number three's hand and does a little hop.

"And you will be Sempai. Wait, all of you are Sempai. You will be, uh, uh, Kei-kun! Aaauuuuu, I always wanted to say that!"

Mutsumi points at number four.

"And you are Urashima-kun!"

Su jumps on number five's shoulders.

"This is Keitaro-san!"

Kitsune smiles.

"I guess I get to name number six."

She walks over, grabs his hand, and starts to raise it to her chest.

"How about we just call ya'll Free Rent?"

The other girls shout.

"KITSUNE!"

She drops his hand.

"Alright, alright! This is Urashima-san."

Shinobu skips out of the room.

"I'll have breakfast ready in a few minutes. See you there, Sempais."

Motoko turns to Naru.

"Shinobu-chan seems to be taking this rather well."

Naru giggles.

"She really does look up to Keitaro, and now she will be surrounded by him. Let's all go get ready for breakfast. We can try to figure out what to do while we eat."

A few minutes later, they all stand in the dining room. Keitaro scratches his head.

"I guess we're going to need a lot more chairs."

He points to Urashima and Urashima-san.

"Let's go bring some in from storage."

Keitaro-san taps Urashima-kun's shoulder and follows them.

"We'll need some folding tables too."

Kei-kun heads to the kitchen.

"I'll bring more plates and utensils."

The girls stand there as all the Keitaros head for their tasks. Naru smiles.

"He hasn't changed. They really are alike."

Haruka walks in the door and waves to everyone.

"Good morning! I thought that I'd join you for breakfast today."

Kitsune sticks her hands in her pockets.

"Not surprising, considering that its rent collection day!"

"Where's Keitaro?"

Su jumps up on her chair.

"They went to get some more chairs and stuff!"

"Why? Are you planning to have another party? And you mean 'he'. You really need to work on your Japanese, Su."

Kitsune looks at Haruka.

"A party? That's a great idea! We can have a birthday party for them!"

Kei-kun opens the door and sets a tray on the table.

"Not another party! It takes a whole day to clean up the mess every time. Good morning, Haruka-san."

"Hello, Keitaro. You're looking rather spry this morning."

"Thanks. And, could you call me Kei-kun?"

Haruka pulls out a paper fan and clobbers him with it, sending him tumbling back into the kitchen.

"Don't get cute with me!"

Urashima opens another door and carries some chairs inside.

"Good morning, Haruka-san. Are you here to make sure Kitsune pays her rent today?"

She looks over at him.

"Kei-kun, didn't you just. . ."

He walks through the door towards the common room.

"I'll get some more placemats from the coffee table, and you can call me Urashima."

As she looks at the door, Keitaro-san carries a table in from outside.

"Good morning, Haruka-san."

Haruka drops her cigarette holder.

"Ura-urashima! You just, I saw you. . ."

He walks through the kitchen door.

"I'll get a cloth to dust the tables. I'm Keitaro-san."

Motoko, in spite of the situation, covers her mouth and begins to snicker. Haruka spins towards her.

"What's so funny? Are all of you playing a joke on me today?"

Urashima-kun carries another table into the room.

"Why would we do that, Haruka-san?"

Haruka falls to her knees.

"Keitaro-san, what's happening?"

He looks at the table.

"Shoot, it has a bent leg. I'll go get a hammer. Oh, by the way Haruka-san, I'm Urashima-kun."

He heads upstairs to get his tools, leaving a shocked Haruka spinning her head. Urashima-san carries his chairs from outside.

"Haruka-san, what's wrong?"

"Urashima-kun?"

He heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water for his aunt.

"No, I'm Urashima-san. I'll get you some water."

Naru and Motoko lean against each other. Tears fall from their eyes as they burst out laughing. Kitsune is curled up in the corner holding her stomach as she giggles. Mutsumi smiles sweetly. Su takes advantage of the confusion to snag a banana from the table. Haruka stands and stares at the door to the common room.

"He'll be coming through that door next.

"Who will?"

She slowly turns and looks at Keitaro.

"Urashima-san, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm just bringing in more chairs. Why are you acting so formal today? I'm just Keitaro."

Haruka grabs her paper fan and stalks towards him.

"You'd better have a darned good reason for messing with me!"

Kei-kun and Urashima-san and Keitaro-san open the kitchen door and enter the dining room. Kei-kun rubs his head.

"Careful Keitaro. She's in a bad mood today."

"Here's your water, Haruka-san."

"I'll dust off the tables."

Urashima and Urashima-kun enter from the common room.

"I've got the placemats!"

"And I've got my hammer!"

Keitaro smiles at his aunt.

"It looks like the gang's all here!"

Shinobu pushes a cart into the room.

"Breakfast is ready! Let's eat!"

Haruka looks from one Keitaro to the next and says the only thing that comes to her mind.

"Keitaro, you're beside yourself!"

Every one of the Keitaros, whether by chance or design, just happens to be standing next to one of the girls as Haruka utters the lame joke. They all trip and fall at the same instant, dragging skirts, slacks, or gi to the floor. Mutsumi places her hands to her cheeks.

"Oh my! Urashima-kun is rather bold this morning!"

Shinobu whimpers and pulls her skirt up.

"Aaauuuuu! Kei-kun!"

Su leaps on the table and wraps her skirt back on.

"Keitaro-san! I'm surprised at ya!"

Kitsune trips as she pulls her slacks up and falls on top of her disrober.

"Urashima-san! Ya'll better keep ya hands off the goods!"

Keitaro and Urashima are the two that unfortunately happened to be standing next to Naru and Motoko. Naru slides her skirt up and kicks Keitaro through the door.

"Keitaro, you pervert!"

Motoko pulls her gi back up and draws her sword in one fluid motion.

"Urashima! You vile, lecherous male! SHINMEI SCHOOL SECRET ARTS! AIR SPLITTING SWORD!"

Urashima follows Keitaro out the door, where they both bounce off the buildings before landing in the hot spring. In perfect synchronization, they both bob three times before sinking into the water. Haruka shakes her head.

"I would never have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

The rest of the Keitaros stare at the doorway and Keitaro-san speaks for them all.

"So that's what it looks like!"

Su retrieves her banana and nonchalantly peels it.

"Ya know, I saw a movie once where the mad-scientist's clones dissolved if they got wet."

Naru and Motoko exchange glances and then quickly run outside. Su takes a bite from her banana and scratches her head.

"Or maybe they just got wet. I don't remember for sure."

A few minutes later, everyone is seated and they start breakfast. They explain to Haruka what had happened. Keitaro sips his tea and makes a suggestion.

"Why don't we split the chores? We can finally catch up and get everything done! I'll take care of the laundry."

The other Keitaros nod in agreement. Urashima volunteers to take charge of cleaning the hot spring. Kei-kun will do the grocery shopping and help cook the meals. Urashima-kun will do general cleaning and dusting. Keitaro-san picks mopping and waxing the floors. And Urashima-san will take care of cleaning the windows and repair jobs. Naru looks at Keitaro.

"With all the extra people here, there will be a lot more laundry. I'll help you with it, if you don't mind."

"That will be nice, thank you Narusegawa."

Motoko clears her throat, catching their attention.

"Urashima, I have a proposal for you. I shall assist you in cleaning the hot spring if you will be my training partner."

"Sure, I'll be glad to do it."

Keitaro leans over and whispers to Naru.

"Have I always been that quick to agree to something that I'll later regret?"

Naru gags on her milk. Forcing herself not to laugh, she nods her head as she reaches for a tissue.

"You're too sweet for your own good."

Shinobu claps her hands.

"Since Kei-kun will help cook, we'll make a feast for the party tonight!"

Mutsumi hands a small bowl of soup to Tama-chan.

"I'll help Urashima-kun with the dusting today. Oh my! Would you like to help us, Tama-chan?"

"Mew!"

Su raises her hand.

"I'm gonna help Keitaro-san wax the floors! Gotta make sure the slipperiness is just right for sliding!"

Kitsune sighs.

"If Kei-kun makes sure to get more sake, I guess I can help Urashima-san with some repair work. But, I don't do windows!"

Haruka smiles as she sips her soup.

"You all finally managed to divide him up between yourselves. I can't wait to see what happens."

End of Chapter Two.