Angel?

Okay, I know that, logically, Angel didn't write me that letter because, well… yeah. It's impossible. But… I also don't know how whoever wrote that letter to me knew what I wrote to Angel, because I burnt the letter after I wrote it and…

Shit, what kind of person would do a thing like that anyway? Write a letter pretending to be my dead best friend? It's sick.

But… I'm gonna pretend it was from you anyway, because it made me feel better to write the last time and… it's always so easy to pretend.

Angel, how could I just 'leave him alone'? This is Roger, that's not an option. As mad as I am at him for acting like a prick, I still love him… I'll always love him. You know that. Even when he told me he could never be with someone like me and to get out of his life, I loved him.

I'm pathetic.

I just wish I knew why he was being so prick-y. It hasn't stopped since I wrote to you and I can't think of what… I'm really starting to think it's something I did and I don't know what that was and I don't know what I could have done, I've been being good and…

He's stopped spending every night with me. I mean… we still have sex every night and it's good, but… he doesn't stay afterwards every night. It's not all the time, but often enough to hurt me, he'll get up and go back to the loft. Angel, when we… we're supposed to be a couple and I just want to fall asleep in his arms afterwards, but it's a little hard to do that when he gets up and practically sprints away from me right afterwards.

Angel, why doesn't he love me anymore?

Anyway, um… maybe I shouldn't… It's Halloween tomorrow, Maureen's making us have a party. She said it was what you would have wanted, that you wouldn't want us to sit around mourning you. Still, it's the anniversy… I think Maureen just wants an excuse to dress in that slinky little 50s starlet thing she has. But, um, yeah… I'm going as a cat. Like in Cats. Can't wait for Roger to see, I've been working so hard on the costume.

Roger is probably going as an angsty rock star… He's never been too great with costumes. *wink wink* Anyway, we'll see. Besides, the angsty rock star thing would probably be pretty sexy.

Love Always,

Your

Mimi Marquez

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